Can't Be Any Geek Off The Street

Cost of Livings High, And Going Up

2011-12-08T15:32:00.001-07:00

I blame my Dad. I really do. For my looks, my mannerisms, and my vocal rhythms. However, today I blame him for my activities last Saturday. During my pre-teen and early teen years, every now and then my father would wake me up around 6:45 am and only say "We're leaving in ten minutes. Be ready." Thankfully, we were never heading to a speed-dating convention or a social gathering where looks or smell mattered, because 10 minutes to get ready meant 7 more minutes of sleep and three minutes of changing my clothes, finding a hat and brushing my teeth. Shower? Yeah, that wasn't happening. I was gross, but I was young and not interested in dating, so I feel it can be overlooked. I might be wrong about that.

Regardless, by 6:55 am we were in the car. More often then not we would go to an auction. Not like a Sotheby's auction of fine art or exotic real estate. I mean an auction where they sold folding chairs by the dozen. Where you both loose wrenches by the box. Where you could buy an industrial safe and the forklift to carry it away. That type of auction. It combined my Dad's job - running a business - with his hobby - finding a good deal. He would bring me along mostly to spend time with him, but I think to also show me that you can save money on any purchase, if you kept your eyes open.

Case in point: At one auction they had a lot of 8 sport-style walkman's. Not discman's. Walkman's. This was about a year before the cassette completely died, so the writing was clearly on the wall. The lot came up and no one was bidding on it. My dad threw a $10 bill at it, and took it home. That next Christmas, a number of cousins received these under their trees. At least they had a built-in radio, so they weren't completely useless. We had a half full box of these walkman's sitting in my dad's office for at least 3 years. To this day, I'm not sure what happened to the remainder of them. It doesn't really matter because he paid $10 for Christmas gifts to like 4 or 5 cousins. That's a bargain. He could have used the rest for skeet, or donated them to the Smithsonian's collection of antiquated technologies, and it would have still been a steal.

This all leads me to Saturday. Saturday morning, I informed the Betrothed (yep, she's no longer the Girlfriend, she has been promoted, and I simply don't like saying the word 'Fiance', so it's Bethrothed) that we were going to meet some of Provo's finest. We were heading to a storage auction. Remember how I said that I would only spend three minutes getting ready? I feel like that was 2 minutes more than anyone else who showed up to those events. This morning was no different. If you weren't wearing at least 2 pieces of denim, or one piece of camo, you were over dressed. If you didn't urinate beside your car, you were fancy. If you showed up in anything other than a suburban or truck, you were putting on airs. I brought the Betrothed. I had also showered and I think shaved. We were like two ice cubes in a sand pit.

They had three units going for sale. Being that I had spent months going to these things in Florida, I developed a game called "How much will it go for?" Additionally, I would play "How much am I willing to pay for it?", but the first number always exceeded the second number. The first unit was empty except 2 20" rims and some old car batteries. I said I'd throw $20 at it. Someone else got it for $20. The next one had a table and some chairs, a mannikin and an old TV. I said it would go for $150, but I wouldn't pay more than $125. Sure enough, went for $150. The last one looked like a garage vomited into a storage locker. Two fridges, some assorted furniture and miscellaneous items. I thought it would go for $450. Dude jumped the bid from $50 to $400 and everyone else backed off. And that was the end of it. I was thoroughly entertained the whole time. The Betrothed laughed herself to tears (no, literally tears came out of her eyes) at the guy who bought the last one. Between his track pants with the vented legs, in case he worked up a sweat, or the sweatshirt barely covering his tremendous girth, or the U of U beanie with fake, white, spikey hair coming out of the top, this guy was a class act. Just a sight to behold.

That was the morning. Later that evening the Betrothed's ward had a Christmas party and auction to raise funds for a sub-for-Santa-esque program. Good food and a show? Don't mind if I do. One of the items up for bids was a wedding/birthday cake from one of the Stake Relief Society leaders. I'm pretty sure I was the only engaged person in the room, so I bid on it. A couple other people bid, but when I went to $40, it was just me and the second counselor in the bishopric. He went to $45, so I went to $50. He then went to $60, and I thought, "it's for a good cause" and went to $75, thinking that would end things. He then bid $90. I backed off. Now, at the time, I didn't realize that wedding cakes go for like $300. I thought they went for like $100-$150. Had I know that, I probably would have kept going. But instead, I stopped and he won it at $90. His wife turned back to us from across the room and mouthed "We're buying it for your wedding." Turns out, that was their plan from the start. And I ran the guy up another $30. Thanks.

We called the baker, who the Betrothed has known for a while and she informed us to just pick out whatever cake we wanted. Just send her a picture and she'll make it. The Betrothed asked what I wanted the cake to be like. I said "Tasty". I stand by that. Make it look like whatever you want, but make sure I enjoy eating it. I'm sure we'll have a tasting of some sort down the road. The big day is still more than 3 months off, so we have a lot of stuff to line up between now and then. But things are starting to get busy.

Word.

If You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Ring On It

2011-12-01T14:43:00.001-07:00

So, Monday night, I asked a very important question to a very special girl. To let her know I was serious, I gave her something shiny:

She said yes, and there you have it.

Word.

You Can Pull All The Cards But I Won't Back Down

2011-11-22T12:12:00.001-07:00

Eat Tootsie Rolls
Play Tetris
Take Standardized Tests
Predict Baseball Seasons

Those are four things that I do really well. With the announcement of Ryan Braun getting the NL MVP award (yes, Matt Kemp was most certainly robbed, especially when you factor in the protection Ryan Braun had batting in front of Prince Fielder), the 2011 Baseball Season has finally come to a close. Accompanying this is the close of the 3rd Annual Rick Russell Knows More About Baseball Than I Do contest. And in case you were wondering, yours truly was once more victorious over all-comers.

This was closer than most, as I relied on my MVP picks to carry the day for me, but a 6 point victory over the next nearest competitor is still a win. For those of you playing, please prepare a $1 bill with the following script:
"Rick Russell knows more about baseball than I do - 2011"
(Signature)

If I have not received these by Christmas Day, expect a phone call. I have a wall to fill.

Word

What I Don't Know, I Catch On Real Quick

2011-11-10T12:14:00.001-07:00

I have to admit, I've wasted titles twice in a row now. Both of the previous two titles could have been better used on the subsequent post, as opposed to the ones that they currently head.

Either way, I just got back from a trip to Seattle this past weekend. I've been fortunate to spend roughly 2 weeks in the Seattle/Northwestern Washington area in my life, and out of that time, it has rained only a day and a half. For all this talk about being a rainy city, I'm throwing out my BS flag. The Girlfriend and I flew in on Friday, and it was drizzling a bit that afternoon and early evening. However, all Saturday and Sunday it was clear and sunny skies. Monday morning had a slight drizzle before we boarded the plan back to SLC, but that was it. For that, Seattle, I thank you.

Now you're asking yourself, why did I go to Seattle. Because I can. Well, that and The Girlfriend's friend went and moved there a couple months ago and has been asking The Girlfriend to make a visit ever since. I came along because, well, I can, and because I had met the friend and her husband and found them both to be enjoyable. To give things a more tangible impression, here's a picture of the four of us. If you can tell me where that photo was taken, I will award you five tootsie rolls. Note: none of the four people in the picture qualify for the tootsie roll reward.

These people are some fun people. They found this thing called CityPass which got us into the major area attractions for a little less than half the retail price. Science Center, Aquarium, Zoo, Space Needle, EMP, Harbor Tour. Yep, did all of them for less than what we spent on hot chocolate the weekend. (Got to the point that we just decided to buy a gallon milk, a box of mix and just load canteens before we left for the day. Have I told you that I hate being cold, as does The Girlfriend. I brought two jackets and three sweaters for a three and half day trip. And a hoodie.)

Everything was great except for the Ye Olde Curiosity shop after the Harbor Tour. They're going to make a comment about it because it's right on the pier. For future reference, you can skip this place. It's a souvenir shop with a wall of not-so-curious things. In their cabinet, they have an Ichiro baseball card. Not even a rookie card, just and Ichiro card. Now, you can make the argument that while the card itself is not curious, its inclusion certainly is, but you should not have to go to that level to qualify a Curiosity shop. Boo on the Ye Olde Curiosity shop. Boo.

Ok, now I need to preface this. Growing up in coastal Florida, I was always near the water and the wild-life that it had. However, I never saw a fish, or a stingray, or even a manatee and thought, "I want to touch that." Nope. I figured they were doing their thing, I'm going to just do mine. And then when I found out about things like stinging coral or anenomees during scuba certification, well that just reinforced my bias. So, when we stroll into the aquarium and they have this large exhibit where you can touch starfish or anenomees or urchins, I wanted no part in it. The other three comrades thought this was an opportunity not to be missed, so they kept petting them and letting the tentacles attach to or close around their fingers. Me? I petted the immobile starfish that looked/felt like a football. That's good enough for me. Thanks. Next exhibit please. Oh, and a dry towel would be great as well.

I remember when the Experience Music Project (EMP) opened back in 2000 because I was in Seattle when it happened. I was there for EFY (Why Seattle? Florida didn't have one that year. The closest was in Atlanta. I figured if I had to fly anyway, might as well go as far as I can.) and arriving a day early, had the chance to read a newspaper that told me about it's opening. I thought it was amazing and wanted to go ever since. Hearing that it was on the CityPass, well that sealed it for me. For a museum, it is unlike any other museum I have been to. A lot of the exhibits are interactive or video-screen based, and I can only watch so many of those before I get bored. Give me a cool piece and then an even better story behind it and I'm enthralled for hours. It's a little embarrassing, but I can't help not read the plaques accompanying stuff that I generally don't care about. I now know the back-story of Battlestar Galactica. Not that I've ever seen an episode, or even want to, but because there was a large description of it on a wall. Because of this, the Nirvana exhibit was great. I like Nirvana, but I don't thing I've ever owned an album of theirs, and I'm almost certain I've never paid money for a song of theirs. (Notice how I left a loophole regarding napster-esque downloading. Intentional.) However, their exhibit was great. I had no clue that Dave Grohl didn't join the band until 1990, or that Kurt would collect the pickups and other parts of the recently smashed guitars to reuse for repairs. Now, I do.

Oh, and an inverted tree of guitars and other instruments is always cool.

We ended the trip by first heading out to Snoqualmie Falls. Want to know the best part about these falls, aside from the view? The lack of hiking required to see them. Big fan right there. Just park, stroll over a skybridge and there you are. Very pitcturesque setting. From there we trekked over to the Freemont Troll. No, it did not have neon hair that stuck straight up. No, it was not actually a goblin, despite the name. And no, it slowly move across water while we fished. It was however a large sculpture of a troll that resides under a bridge. It's a city monument and is well respected and taken care of. How well respected, you ask? They are currently doing work on the bridge, renovating it and bolstering it against the ever increasing load it bears. Instead of blocking off everything under the bridge, they have left a path leading up the troll, as well as the troll itself, accessible. Now, if you step one yard left of the troll, you are in a hard-hat required area. However, feel free to climb up the troll without any protection, because the workers are all off to one side.

All in all, I love hot chocolate, and thoroughly enjoyed the vacation. Big thanks go out to The Girlfriend's friend and her husband for putting us up/ chauffeuring us around for the weekend. And a bigger thanks go out to The Girlfriend for letting me tag along.

Word.

Drop Everything Now, Meet Me In the Pouring Rain

2011-10-25T12:50:00.000-06:00

I'm writing essays. A lot of them.

I hope that at least explains some of the 1 month+ absence from an update. When you spend your spare time trying to put together paragraphs, it really decreases your drive to write more for some extra-curricular activity. I mean, if your job was to make birthday cakes, I don't know how excited you would be to make some cupcakes for a bake-sale.

However, I'm going to give a quick heads-up because if you haven't been watching baseball in the past month, your life has been at least 30% less amazing. Between the playoff surges of the Rays and Cardinals (better than calling them collapses by the Red Sox and Braves, although collapses is far more accurate) in late September, to the opening rounds all going at least 4 games, to the Cardinals defying all baseball logic with their pitching staff and bullpen use to not only make it to the World Series, but have a lead on the Rangers (before last night), this years playoff's has been the best I have ever seen. At the beginning of the series, I thought Cardinals in 6. I'll stick with that. Carpenter is on the hill tonight, and since he took yesterday off, Pujols will have a big night tonight. [Editor's note - Cardinals lost game 5 when the bullpen finally gave up a run.]

Where will I be during the game? Odds are I'll be hunched under the sink. I was thawing out a couple chicken breasts that had frozen together, using hot water to speed along the process. After a little while they felt like I could separate them with a little force. So I center the block of chicken over the divide separating the two sinks and pushed. Next thing I know, I hear a loud pop and the sink shifts down about an inch. That loud pop was two things. The first was the remaining sliver of caulking on the front edge of the sink coming loose from the counter. The second was the pipe that connects the drains between the two sinks, snapping in two. Thankfully, I shut the water off as soon as the sink shifted, then heard the water dripping underneath, so I cleared everything out from under than and got a towel to dry it all up. Today, I'll head over to Lowe's where they can tell me how to fix it. Yes, they may have to spell it out for me in crayon, but everything should be fine by tonight.

In case you were wondering, the chicken was delicious. Went over to the Girlfriend's place and marinated it in some Tuscan something or other and couple it with some grapes and string cheese. It doesn't sound like much, but we had a lot of grapes. Well, I had a lot of grapes. The Girlfriend had a proper amount.

Speaking of the Girlfriend, this has also been the best baseball season she has ever seen. It might be the first one as well, but still, it's a good start. She's been a good sport about watching more televised sports in the past three months than maybe any year in her life (possibly her entire life combined, but that seems a bit hyperbolic). She even nods appreciatively when I say things like "Why are they pitching to Pujols after he took them yard twice already?" or "Arthur Rhodes is still alive? And pitching? Really wish I was a left-hander." I figure, if she's going to continue seeing me, she needs to be prepared for these types of comments and activities.

Things with her are going really well. I really like her, and she kind of likes me, so it's the perfect balance. We're heading off to Seattle in about a week and a half to visit one of her friends and her friend's husband. I've met them before, and I'm a fan. Plus, Seattle is a beautiful city, so I have no problem spending an extended weekend up there. I am sad that there will not be a Baseball, football or even MLS game playing up there that weekend, but so be it. I will soldier on.

Word.

It's Been Some Time Since We Last Spoke

2011-09-19T09:23:00.000-06:00

Couple quick things while I still remember them:

1. Strawberry Dum-Dum pops taste just like that numbing stuff that dentists use right before they give you the shot. You know, they stick that pinkish-reddish goop on a q-tip and then delicately place it along your gumline so that the surface where they are going to stick the needle is desensitized? Yep, tastes just like a strawberry Dum-Dum pop. Unless you had the cherry goop, which tastes nothing like a cherry Dum-Dum pop. That one tastes like every other "cherry" medication out there.

2. I've decided my favorite time of year is the last half of spring, summer and the first part of fall. I like it warm for the most part, but today it was neither warm nor cold when I stepped out of the office for lunch. It was calm with a cool breeze. Perfect weather for anything outdoors. But then, I kept walking to my car and felt the sun shine down. I swear to you, I heard angels. It was like a warm wind, but not a wind at all. Just a gentle wash of warmth. Fantastic. On the downside, considering it is September, this is signifying that winter, my nemesis, is on its way. Still, going to enjoy this climate while its still enjoyable.

3. Go watch "Warrior". As expected, I loved it. Then again, I watch UFC fights and buy into dramatic movie characters. What wasn't nearly as expected was the girlfriend enjoying it. It was a later showing, and she's not shy about dozing off during a movie. She was on edge for the better part of the movie. The characters are all very well developed and it's almost impossible to avoid getting wrapped up in the dynamic relationships between the characters. You find yourself at times rooting for and against each of the three main characters, and none of it feels contrived. Just a solid movie from start to finish. It does have a fighting element, but it doesn't get deep enough into it to throw off those unfamiliar to the octagon (in the movie's case, a hexagon because UFC has trademarked the eight-sided ring). It's most certainly worth your $8.50.

4. Ribs are really good. I forget this from time to time, because in a steakhouse I almost always go for the steak. I mean, it's called a steakhouse and I hope there is a valid reason for that moniker. If there was a ribhouse, I feel I would have to order the ribs over the steak, but I'm yet to find out, and the closest alternative is a place called RibCity, where I had the pulled pork lunch plate. Anyway, went up to Park City and had the ribs (St. Louis spareribs. Baby back ribs annoy me with the low meat to bone ratio. Too much work, not enough payout) at Bandit Grill. Absolutely delicious. Only downside is that they didn't have a half-rack option. Thankfully, they do offer take home boxes and I've had ribs for dinner for the past three nights now. Odds are, tonight will make it four. In case you were wondering, they are fantastic. Just moved up a notch in my book.

5. Fall TV schedule is kicking off. Ask me if I checked the DVR to see if there was enough space to handle my course load of shows. Thankfully, there is plenty, and if needs be, I'll just hook up a hard drive to the thing and never worry about it. I mean, I watch a fair amount of shows. House, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Fringe, TUF, Jersey Shore, Top Shot, One Tree Hill, and those are just the ones I can name without pausing. Yes, it sounds like a lot, but it averages to like an hour a day. And other than an occasional Storage Wars or Pawn Stars (History Channel owns me) and, of course, sports, I don't watch a lot of TV. Thanks to the DVR and online streaming, I'm able to keep up with all of these. I know, it's impressive.

6. I miss the second TV. Watching college football is fantastic, but it was better when I had two games going at once. Now with one, I'm having to flip back and forth, and I always feel like I'm missing something. The better part of the week will be spent on figuring out how to make the picture-in-picture work on the TV. I know it's not the same, but it will have to do.

Word.

If You Wanna Go And Take A Ride Wit Me

2011-09-08T11:52:00.001-06:00

As the White Sox play out the rest of the string, and the Diamondbacks lock up the NL West, I feel it's appropriate to discuss my past doings with all of you.

For reasons I'm still not 100% sure of, work got extremely busy from August 18th, until about Tuesday (Sep 6). Like, 3 to 4 fold more busy than the average day. Most people would get upset if their work days suddenly felt like three crammed into one, however, since my job is mostly commission based, I was more pleased than an Arkansan in a "Everything Made of Buffalo Bone" shop. (Let's not kid ourselves. Who wouldn't be ecstatic in that shop?) The downside is that it didn't leave a lot of time to slap something up here. For that, I make no apologies. I had to choose to between making money, and informing the two people (Ok, mostly just my sister, a couple times a day) that read this about my activities. When typing this out leads to cashing checks, maybe I'll shift my focus. Do not hold your breath, as I know I don't have the time to commit to such an endeavor, and I question whether I have the literary chops to develop something that interesting. How many sites do you visit on a daily basis? How many of them are so you can read something? I have about 5. Couple blogs, ESPN, MSN and Grantland. I'm sure there is someway I could have a notification inform me of a new post, instead of having to check on the daily, but I like checking things, and they are kind enough to link blogs to other friends so that I don't have to type in all of the other addresses. For that, I say thank you.

The other things that have kept me busy are some road trips. The weekend before labor day, I went down to St. George with a couple buddies and the girlfriend. We had a blast, played some golf and hiked the Narrows in Zion's. I should note that the girlfriend was the only girl there. Yes, she did come golfing with us. She became very good at driving the cart, as well as smiling and telling me that "Oh, it looked like a really good hit" when I would knock the ball into the trees/water/highway. She's kind like that. She's also forgiving because on the golf course, well, you tend to relax a little bit. Which can get awkward, given that when you relax on a golf course it is usually with a bunch of guys. I feel/hope this is universal, but same gender comments and conversation are different than mixed gender ones. In those potentially awkward moment, she would either feign having not heard it, or she would just smile and shake her head a little. We'd all laugh, except for whomever made the comment that time, and then keep on playing.

(This is the one photo taken during this entire weekend, just before we started the hike in Zion's. I'll let you figure out who is the girlfriend.)

The hike was terrific. It isn't a steep hike, but it is long, and you spend the entire time in a knee-deep stream. It took me a little while figuring out how to secure my footing on the submerged, rocky terrain, but after that you just keep going. The cool water keeps you from feeling too hot at any given point, so you never feel like it's a chore. However, once it's over and you're sitting on the tram back to the parking lot, you realize just how much work you put in. Either way, I highly recommend it, and if you have the time, stop by the Bistro (that's its name) in Hurricane on the way out. Delicious food there. They seemed to be seasonal, so they probably shut it down in the winter, which is when the national parks in that area shut down as well.

So I came home from that great weekend, put in my week of work, kaplan, and softball, and then this past Labor Day weekend, I went up to Idaho Falls. I've made two trips to Idaho, and one trip through it. This was the first time that I was not having to wear multiple layers or question whether I should put tiger balm on my toes to remind me they still exist. It was a little brisk, but nothing a pair of jeans and hoodie couldn't fix.

The girlfriend needed to go up there because her dad had just accepted a position in New York, and would be moving there for the next 5+years. By the time this posts, he'll already be there. She asked if I wanted to go. Another chance to take a pseudo vacation outside of Utah County? Yep. I'm going to do that.

We left Friday right after I got out of work. I didn't stop to eat before leaving, so by 8pm, I was hungry something fierce. Thankfully, we were entering the bustling metropolis that is... Malad. I'm pretty sure that Malad is in Idaho, but it might still be Utah. It was near the border, and the girlfriend let me know that it was the last quasi-town until Pocatello, another hour or so down the road. Pulled into some diner and had the biggest fried pork sandwich I've ever seen. It was too big for me to pick up, and I vastly preferred my food picked up as opposed to forked and knifed. (And yes, it is knifed, not knived. I had to look it up because it looked weird.) On the upside, it was really good with some gravy and mashed potatoes.

Got into Idaho Falls, stepped outside, and was really glad I had a hoodie in the car. The days never got cold, but the mornings and evenings were a different story. We made it to the girlfriend's mom's house around 10 pm, and ran outside to lay on their trampoline and look at all the stars. (bee-tee-dub, there are a bajillion stars up there that you forget about until you find yourself in some remote place and are able to pause and just look up. It is truly amazing.) She brought a blanket, but that wasn't good enough. I was literally shaking for a couple minutes as natural survival instincts kicked in and my body realized it needed to generate more heat to keep core temperatures within reasonable ranges. The next night we went to a drive in movie. Yes they still exist. Rumor is that there are only about 20 or drive ins still operating in the United States. Idaho Falls has two of them. The point of the matter is that this time, we brought three blankets. One was a denim blanket made from swatches cut out of jeans. I did not know this was common practice. It is. This thing was fantastically warm. We had a lovesac in the back of her sister's truck and with three blankets, we stayed warm while being visually assaulted by "Smurfs" followed by "Zookeeper". For the sake of all things good and holy, avoid both of these. Run, do not walk away from them. Slap anyone over the age of 8 who suggests either of them. If you see a fire, try and put it out by tossing every copy of them onto it. Either the pile with smother the flames, or the flames will consume the pile. Win-win.

The rest of the trip was highlighted by her grandfather's 92nd birthday, as well as a number of visits to/with her relatives. We spent most of the time with her sister and brother-in-law. Aside from letting us borrow said truck/lovesac/blankets, they invited us over a number of times to play with their kids and talk after the young'ns had retired. Great folks there. Couldn't thank them enough for their kindness and sincerity.

Oh, and we watched the BYU game with her dad and his wife. Tough game to watch, but thankfully the Cougs pulled off the victory. Should be an interesting matchup against Texas this weekend.

Came home Monday afternoon so I could have some time to prep for the Kaplan class I had Tuesday night. It was a great trip, and got to see a little more of the girlfriend's family. Great people up there.

Word.

Cheap Shades And A Tattoo And A Yoo-Hoo Bottle On The Floorboard

2011-08-16T15:01:00.000-06:00

Well, if it's been a whole month between posts, you have to assume things got really busy for me. I mean, there were times I put new posts up during finals. Lucky for you, this morning is kind of slow, and I'm already square for my Kaplan class tonight, so I've found a little window of time to bang out a post.

Things have been going well my friends. Things have been going well. I have a lot of reasons for this, so it's time to just enumerate them and let you in on what has been icing my cakes recently.

1.) Mint.com. Can not fully express my love for this website. I've always been the type of person who lives within their means, but that typically meant spending nearly everything I made. This little beauty pulls all my accounts (banking, credit cards, paypal, loans, everything) into one spot and lets me know, "Hey, you're averaging this much income a month, and spending roughly this much on fast food, restaurants, golf, etc." From this, I've been able to structure things to start: A) Paying down my student loans, B ) Developing a legit plan for a savings account, C) Realizing where I can actually cut costs (started buying golf balls off eBay by the 100 pack, saving me roughly $0.60 a ball over new ones from the store. Aah, the advantages of not being great is that you don't really lose a lot of performance between using new balls vs used balls), D) Discovering what credit card might provide me with the best rewards package, given my spending habits. It's fantastic, free, and has a slick iPhone app. The app gives you a quick dashboard, lets you know of any alerts, and shows you any purchases or transfers you have made. For all of your accounts. Up until recently, I was using three different banks for all of my checking and savings accounts. I can not over emphasize how fantastic it was to see all of my accounts at once in one place. The only down side (and this is for protection) is that you're not able to make any transfers within Mint. It's just there to report and project, not to move and manipulate. So when I do have to make my monthly transfer to savings, or bill for rent, I have to go the bank directly, but that's not a big deal, and I appreciate the security. If someone hacks into my Mint account, they can see my balances, but they can't change them. Love this site, and at the low cost of free, can not love it more.

2.) Kaplan - Not the prepping part. That part is killing my Sunday and Monday nights. But now that I'm actually teaching a GMAT course, I'm getting paid at the teaching rate. And for whatever reason, it seems like they mail out their checks every Friday. I'm not complaining, because that means I'm getting a little extra kizzle (yep, sure did co-opt that from Courtney Gorden) seemingly every week. I do like extra money. It's not a lot, and probably wouldn't be enough to cover my basic living expenses, but when you only spend about 12 hours a week on it, you really can't expect it to. What you can expect is some pocket change to make life a little more enjoyable. I needed some new shorts and a pair of shoes. Thank you Kaplan for making those happen.

3.) The return of Jersey Shore. Oh man, is this show 100% pathetic, entertaining garbage. I love it. I really do. A lot of people have asked me why, and here's the current answer: Growing up, I never drank, and neither did any of the people I hung out with. They weren't members, but somehow I found a group of friends in high school that didn't drink. Needless to say, I never knew what people were like when they were drinking, so I tended to over-estimate how much their senses and judgment were impaired. Looking back at it, my projections of inebriated individuals matches up almost exactly with how the Jersey Shore-ites behave without alcohol. Only difference is that the Jersey Shore people stumble less. Let me re-phrase that - they stumble less sober than I would have imagined. Intoxicated they are like a toddler who just spent 5 minutes spinning with a bucket on his head. (Please do not ask how I know what this looks like.) So, yes, this show does thoroughly entertain me. However, the whole re-locating to Italy move is yet to add any real benefit yet. I'm hopeful, but not overly so.

4.) Playoff races. Diamondbacks up by 2.5 games. White Sox back by 3.5 games. It's getting

serious with only 40 or so games left. The dream is to have both of them make the playoffs, and possibly the World Series, but that's a dream.

5.) College football just over 2 weeks away. I love Baseball, in case any of you didn't know. I love it to the point that I get upset when they spend time talking about off-season NFL or NBA practices or scrimmages instead of more time on baseball. It infuriates me that NFL Live is year round while Baseball tonight is not, despite Baseball having a longer season. However, when they start talking about college football, I don't really mind as much. I plan on taking in at least two BYU games, and possibly more this season. And by take in, I mean watch in person. I plan on watching all of them, but most of them via television. Really makes me wish they still had UNLV on the schedule. A Vegas trip around a Cougars football game? Now that's ideal.

6.) Yoo-Hoo. I was talking with this really cute girl about camp outs and what was normally brought along for food. So of course, I mentioned ho-hos, hot dogs, swiss cake rolls, baked beans, and Yoo-Hoo. She nodded along until I got to the last one and then asked what it was. It wasn't that she never had it, but that she didn't know exactly what is was. Maybe this is a badge of honor for her parents, never having introduced her to the 0 nutritional value beverage that is Yoo-Hoo, but I was stunned. Of course, had to go find some. Compounding this issue was the fact that none the three nearest gas stations carried it in any form, bottle, can or even juice box. Now, maybe my memory is over compensating, but I'm willing to bet every gas station in Brevard County currently has at least one bottle of Yoo-Hoo in it's fridge. Next time you actually walk into the gas station, please check on this for me. I want to see if Yoo-Hoo is a local thing, or just absent in this locality. Either way, this led me to go to Walmart and buy a 12 pack of cans (I know, it's not as good as it is from the glass bottle, but it was that or the juice boxes, and juice boxes are so tiny) and introduce her to the goodness that is Yoo-Hoo. She was a good sport and drank a can, even though I could tell she would never ask for another. In her words, "It's like hot chocolate, but cold". In my words, "It's like awesome, but more awesome." I then drank the other 11 over the space of four days.

Word.

One Is One Too Many, One More Is Never Enough

2011-07-17T16:18:00.000-06:00

Between attending the All-Star game on Tuesday, having Mike remind me of the video game number Barry Bonds put up between 2001 and 2004, and reading an article on Grantland.com, I got to thinking about the history of baseball. For me that includes grainy photos and videos of the all-time greats, as well as memories of traipsing through the halls of Cooperstown. But eventually, I wind up thinking about the great records that may or may not ever be broken. And I thought to myself, what record is never going to be broken? The obvious answer is Cy Young's career pitching W-L line. 511-316. I'm in the camp of "We might never see another 300 game winner ever again", so to think that someone would win 500 games, or lose 300 games, is so absurd, it's not even going to make this list.

I forget where the line is drawn separating the Modern Era of Baseball from the Pre-Modern Era, and I don't want to look it up right now, so I'm going to say 1941 starts the modern era. It was kind of a banner year. Ted Williams hit .406 and DiMaggio had his 56-game streak. (Guess who won the MVP that year? Joe D did. This, despite the fact that Williams led the league in Average, Slugging, On base, Home runs, runs, and walks [147 walks in 143 games]. New York bias.)

Seems like a good place in the sand to draw the line. I wanted to compile a list of the records established in the Modern Era that will never get broken, in order of most likely to be broken to least likely to ever be broken. (Side note: I started writing this on 7/14. On 7/15, ESPN ran a poll asking which record was least likely to get broken, since 1941. So, I guess I picked the right year.)

This will be one of the first, if not the first, posts that I will have to do the writing in parts, as I likely won't find all the ones worth listing in the first perusal, nor do I know them all off the top of my head. I know a lot of them that I don't think will ever get broken (Nolan Ryan's single season strikeout record, Ripken's consecutive game streak [Current active leader: Matt Kemp with 298. Not kidding.], and Barry Bond's intentional walks in a season are the most prominent ones), but some I'll have to research. I don't know how many bases Rickey Henderson stole in his prime, or how many wins Jamie Moyer garnered without ever throwing harder than 85.

In this case though, I don't mind the research. So, bear with me on this one. I'm only putting up 8. Why 8? Because I can't think of a ninth worth talking about.

8.) DiMaggio's 56 game hit streak. This one is going to be tough, but I feel that this is the classic monkeys with typewriters producing Shakespeare puzzle. Given that this one is about 70% skill and 30% luck, I'm fairly certain I'll see this one matched in my life time. And out of all the records listed, this is the one I want to have challenged. Nothing against The Yankee Clipper, but a 56 game hit streak would rivet the nation. People would start talking about baseball around work when they never had before. Your mothers and grandmothers would know about it. If you think I'm kidding, remember when McGwire and Sosa were chasing Roger Maris? Everyone was talking about it. Now, imagine that happening for a solid month? Everyday people asking the same question: Did he get a hit? For the record, I support any and all activities that get more people talking about baseball in a positive light.

7.) Nolan Ryan's single season strikeouts - 383. This one isn't as unbreakable as I first thought. Case in point, Randy Johnson had 372 in 2001. And he pitched 100 less innings, facing about 400 less hitters (The Big Unit was striking out people out more often then 1 out of every three he faced). But the reason why this is still on the list is because if Randy Johnson in his prime couldn't do it, who could? Everything is against pitchers today from breaking this record. The five man rotation, innings counts, bullpen specialization and utilization, PED's and the nutritional advances created in their wake. And here's the one I would like to mention - more pitchers throwing harder. This is counter-intuitive, but it makes sense. When Ryan was pitching, he was probably the only guy in the league rushing it up there at 100+. The most dangerous weapon in any pitcher's arsenal is the ability to change speeds and keep hitters off balance. Hitter back then were used to seeing fastballs in the upper 80s to low 90s. That's more or less what everyone could throw. So they develop a rhythm for that speed. Then, one day a week, Ryan takes the mound and is throwing 10 mph harder than what you're expecting. That's huge. It's would be akin to the first time someone developed a curve ball.

In today's game, every team has a starter that can touch mid to high 90s. They all don't have a Verlander who touches 99 in the 9th inning of a no-hitter, but they do have guys that are still throwing 95 in the 7th inning of a close game. There isn't a gap anymore. It's still hard to hit that speed, but you get a lot more practice when it's always that speed. No one is surprised by 99 mph anymore. in 1973, that was surprising. And that's why this one makes the list.

6.) Rickey Henderson's single season steals record - 130. Last year the league leader had 68. Who was that leader? Juan Pierre. Speed is still highly valued in baseball, just not on the basepaths. Rickey can thank Sabermetrics for all but assuring his record remains unassailed for years to come. The numbers tell us that steals are rarely worth the risk. There are a number of old school managers out there that still believe strongly in the advantages of getting the extra base, but they are few and far between, and will get roundly criticized when they run their team out of an inning.

5.) Barry Bonds walks and intentional walks in a season - 232 and 120. The second highest totals are both of those categories, by guys not named 'Bonds', are 60 less than his marks. He also holds the second and third highest single season totals, in both categories. These marks were record in his ridiculous season of 2004. He had an OPS of 1.422 and was hitting a home run every ninth at bat. But we're talking his walks here, and he got them by the boat load. During a weekend series against the Dodgers, he was walked 7 consecutive times. Twice he was walked all four times he came to plate, all four times intentionally. He was walked intentionally when the bases were loaded. Teams were more than willing to concede one run, than throw something in the strike zone. If you ever want to look at a dominating stat line for a hitter, his 2004 is hard to beat. It's only parallel is Bonds' own 2001 season, when he hit 73 jacks (or one per 6.5 at bats) and lead the league in BA, OBP, and Slugging. How he didn't get RBI's and take the triple crown, I'll never know. But for a four year stretch, he was simply over-sized head and shoulders above the league. Could you imagine if he still has the speed of his younger days when he was stealing 40 bases and was a Gold Glove left fielder? I just got goosebumps.

4.) Kerry Wood and Roger Clemens 9-inning game strikeouts - 20. You have to qualify the statement with "9-inning" otherwise the record goes to Tom Cheney who struck out 21 over 16 innings back in 1962. I didn't have a clue either. We've all grown. Here's why this one might not ever be broken. Last year, the Seattle Mariners were the worst hitting club ever assembled in the past 35 years. That's not hyperbole, it's statistical fact. And not even they were victims of a 20 strikeout or more game. If you want to make this record stand out even more, it means that if you don't have 6 strikeouts by the end of the fourth inning, you're not going to make it. You almost need to have some errors in the field so that the only outs come by way of strikeout. In fact, that was the only way I was able to get more than 20 in a video game. I had to actively move my fielders away from pop-ups, and have them not throw the ball on grounders. But that's a video game, and I also hit over 250 homers in a season.

3.) Atlanta Braves Consecutive Division titles - 14. I do need to put a small asterisk, as this was over a 15 year stretch, but since division titles were not awarded in the strike shortened season of 1994, we can omit that year altogether. 1991-2005, the Braves were the champs of their division. Every. Single. Year. The first three were in the bigger NL West, before realignment created three divisions in each league, and slotted the Braves in the NL East. Nothing mattered, they dominated, year in and year out. Behind ace pitching (between Smoltz, Glavine and Maddux, the Braves were awarded 6 Cy Young awards in this span), and surprising hitting, they just kept winning. They did get lucky a couple years, and did catch some breaks, but more often then not, they simply were better than the other teams in their division, and took care of their business.

What's hard to believe is how recent this was set. We have had 9 different World Series Champions in the last ten years. 14 different teams have reached the World Series in that time span. Needless to say, there is a substantial amount of parity in today's game. And yet, just 6 years ago, the Braves were half way through the last year of their dynasty. During the 90's, they represented the NL in 5 of the 9 World Series. You have to go back to the 50's Yankees of DiMaggio and Mantle to find any team that showed up to more than 50% of the decade's World Series (8 of 10), with only other team being Babe Ruth's Yankees of the 20's (6 of 10). It's just so difficult to imagine one team being on top of their division for so long. No team has even a five year streak going. Come to think of it, I don't think there's a team with more than 3 right now. So to have a streak lasting 15 years, my goodness.

2.) Bob Gibson's single season ERA - 1.12. This one has to be on the list because of when it was set, but it shouldn't be on the list for that same reason. The mound was higher, stadiums were bigger, and the ball wasn't wound nearly as tight as it is now. All of these things, coupled with Gibson being, frankly, awesome, combined to give us this ridiculous stat line. To give you a perspective, a really good pitcher will throw about 225 innings a year, give or take a dozen. That's about 32 starts going 7 innings per start on average. To beat Gibson's mark, he would only be able to allow 28 earned runs. Less than one per start. Pitchers have beaten that mark over a month or two, but all it takes is one bad start, and you're done. You give up six runs in a game, and forget about it. And in today's game, chances are you're going to give up six runs in one of those 32 starts.

1.) Cal Ripken Jr's consecutive games played streak - 2632. I don't know how high to put this one. Mostly, I don't know if I can put anything above it. It combines two elements that in today's game are contradictory: being really good, and being consistently healthy. You can't have one without the other. Case in point, look at the number of players who were absent for the All-Star game, despite being named to the team. They all took the game off to nurse some injuries. If you're going to be good enough to make the lineup, you have to play hard. And if you play hard, you're going to get hurt. There's no two ways about it. So, the odds that another player is going to come along and string together 16+ seasons of above average production, without missing a game, especially in this era where players are more likely to rest minor injuries than not, are minuscule. I don't have a lot of money, but I would bet all of it that this record will not fall. Certainly not in my life time. Unless they allow robots to play. Then all bets are off.

Word.

There's A Party On The Rooftop Top Of The World

2011-06-28T13:10:00.003-06:00

Here they are, the 6 coolest things I've done this month:

1) Bought, sold and bought tickets to the MLB All-Star game. Yes, you read that correctly. The All-Star game is down in Phoenix this year. (Side note, I never spell Phoenix right on the first try. I always wait for the red squiggly line to tell me "Hey, numbskull, switch the o and the e. You should know this. You temporarily lived just down the road.") So, a bunch of buddies and I started looking into getting tickets for it. They were going for a minimum of $200 a piece on the secondary market. Then I looked into how much they were face value and noticed there was a large gap between the two. The only catch was you had to be a season ticket holder to get the face value prices.

Did I become a season ticket holder? Yes, yes I did. A half-season ticket holder to be specific. The numbers told me that if I sold out the rest of the season at 80% of the current market prices for the section I was looking out, I could go to the All-Star game for only about $150 a ticket, and sit in the lower bowl. However, I also saw that the tickets in my section for the All-star game were going at 2x face value. So I listed them. Taking out fees and what-not, if they sold, I would turn about $300 profit. I like $300 profit.

I told my dad about this, who told me that he would like to go to the game. I let him know that I listed my tickets and if they sold for 2x what I paid, I'm going to take it and figure out what to do later. My dad, the businessman, said, "Of course you would. $300 profit is great." So that's what happened. Thing is, my dad already booked us airfare to go down for the game. And the tickets sold. So now I have $300 profit, plus my original costs, but no tickets. Not to worry.

I first went to the Diamondbacks directly to see if there was a chance I could get another pair at face value. Not surprisingly, they're sold out, so it was back to the secondary market. I reviewed some prices and realized that there were a set of four that were undervalued by about $100 at the minimum. I know this because they are in the section next to the one I used to hold tickets for, and were listed at $100 less than what mine sold. I only needed 2 to get in to the game, but I figured, "Why not buy all four and capitalize that $100 or so arbitrage?"

So I did. And now I've got two tickets in hand, and have re-listed the other two at the appropriate pricing. That's meals and a souvenir from the trip right there.

Hence, I bought, sold and bought (and hoping to sell) tickets to the All-Star game.

2) Became published. It's not as glamorous as you might think, but I found a way to get my entire blog, comments and all, printed, bound and shipped for under $5. Under $4 if you want to get technical. It took some wizardry and a couple different websites, but now I have this entire blog from the first post in January 2008, to the one right before this one in June 2011 in paperback form. It's 152 pages of awesomeness sitting on my living room table. Be jealous.

3) Shot a video where I danced like Napoleon Dynamite while wearing a Darth Vader mask. I guess I should have started that with a spoiler alert, but oh well. Same buddies I talked about going down to the All-Star game with decided to spoof a number of movie scenes with Star Wars characters. They're the ones that made "Primeday", the "Friday" spoof. If you haven't seen it on youtube, I would recommend. Pro-tip, the director's wife sung the lyrics on it. She's operatically trained, so she actually had to step-down her vocal talents a couple notches to get it as eerily similar as it is.

I'm still not sure how I got nominated to do this, given I physically look nothing like him. He's like 6'3" 160 pounds of flesh and bone. I'm 5'10" and about 180 pounds with occasional muscles lying under my skin (At one point they said to me "You need to look a little more defeated. You're a bit too built so try and look weaker." I already had the mask on, or they would have seen me blush and giggle). Either way, they asked me to do it. Let me tell you this: the choreography makes no sense. You watch it and it looks interesting. Then you try and mimic it, and you notice 2 things. First, no way he did this all in one shot. A couple times he magically transports across the stage. Second, no way someone actually defined the necessary steps for this routine. Not possible. Both of these are troubles for me, because I like to be exact. Needless to say, do not be expecting a mirror image of the actual dance. It didn't happen. I got the main, memorable moves, but the transitions and fillers are nothing like the originals. I have no clue when this will hit the internet, or if it will. I hope they'll let me know, and then I'll post the link here.

4) Won $70 at a golf course. Yep. Sure did. Last Saturday, Mike, his dad, and his brother joined me for a round at Sleepy Ridge. For those of you wondering, yes, I do live on the course, and yes, I did drive over to the clubhouse. I did, however, walk the round.

Back to the main point. They had a game on the 4th hole, a par 3. Wager up to $100. If you hit the green, you win even money. If you miss it, you get a gift certificate to the pro shop of the amount of your initial wager. I knew that the 10-round pass was $140, so I wagered $70 and drilled a 7-iron 165 yards onto the front of the green. Thank you very much for the 50% discount off my pass. Two-putted to make par. I should mention that this came on the heels of a chip in from the fringe for a birdie on the 3rd hole. Anytime I can write down consecutive 3's on my scorecard, things are going well for me. And anytime I can save $70, things are going really well for me.

5) Getting a free back pack. Ok, this one hasn't happened yet, but the gears have been put in motion. For about a month, I had noticed that some of my shirts were getting these red stains on their shoulders. At first I thought it was these dryer balls that I tried. So I threw them out, but was shocked to see the problem recurring. After that, I wasn't sure what the problem was. Then, one day I was walking back from the gym and had my hands under my shoulder straps. I felt something sticky. Turns out that the red plastic that they had used to create a cushion has degraded and melted through the strap cloth and onto about 8 of my dress shirts.

Now, I've had this backpack for at least 7 years now. Maybe longer. Not real sure. Either way, I sent an email to JanSport letting them know that their product has an issue that might need to get looked into. The next morning they sent me an email saying they would be happy to replace the backpack, as well as re-imburse for the damaged shirts. I dug up receipts from three years ago, put everything together, and shipped it all off on Saturday. Needless to say, that company has impressed me. If you're in the market for a backpack, please go with JanSport. They'll treat you right and replace your backpack even if breaks down a decade or so after the purchase.

6) Wrote this blog post.

Word.

Cause I Got A Peaceful Easy Feeling, And I Know You Won't Let Me Down

2011-06-15T10:24:00.001-06:00

I was reading an article on ESPN earlier today, and it centered on Ichiro. The author talked about how rooting for a Japanese player, even though he was Korean, helped him feel more assimilated into American culture thanks to the unifying thread of baseball. Well, he didn't say he felt more assimilated because he rejected the term altogether, but the article was about whether he was or wasn't, and whether he could be or couldn't.

Midway through the article, he mentioned the famous laser beam. On a groundball through the right side of the infield, Terrence Long tried to go first to third. This happens all the time, and Long was on the faster side of the speed continuum. This rookie from Japan, who had his first name on the back of his jersey (When your first name is "Ichiro", you can get away with stuff like that. As for Kurt Suzuki, he gets "Suzuki" across the shoulders), fields it cleanly and fires the purest throw you might ever see.

Oh. You say you've never seen it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUD7XRpTpGw

Now you have.

There are a handful of sports clips I can watch over and over again, and each time just sit there grinning like an idiot and half-chuckling because it is so amazing. This one is high on that list. I can not overstate how amazing that throw is. I wish the picture on the internet was clearer, because I remember watching this on Sportscenter for about a week straight, and that crystal clear image is the same one my mind super-imposes on this one. In fact, in my mind, the ball becomes this yellow comet that starts about 14 feet off the ground, and finishes about 4, despite traveling roughly 200 feet laterally.

In my rec-league softball games, people get impressed when I throw from the left side hole to first on a line. That video makes my feat seem childish. For that matter, that video makes me feel child-like. I just giggle at it thinking, "My goodness. How is that even possible?" I know that it is, but I just can't believe it.

It's like watching the Pujols home run off Brad Lidge (http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/ps/y2005/video.jsp?view=hou_stl, Scroll towards the bottom and you'll find the link for it. If I post the link straight, it doesn't turn out well.) from the 2005 NLCS. I can tell you exactly where I was when that happened. I can tell you who was in the room, what furniture was there, where I stood (definitely wasn't sitting for this) and where the others were standing in respect to me. I could probably even tell you the approximate number of inches each of us had our mouths open, grinning as we watched that ball rise and rise and rise. For the record, I still don't believe it has landed. Just like I believe that if the third baseman hadn't caught Ichiro's throw, it would have sailed over the wall and four rows deep into the stands, another 60-70 feet beyond.

These are the giggly moments. The ones where you forget you're an adult and that there are things like rent, or bills, or payments to be made. Where you let go of the sensibility that says, "Grown men don't giggle, or stare slack-jawed at a video they've seen a dozen+ times". Where you close your eyes, and could swear you went back in time to those moments.

Those are the two that always come to mind first for me. There are others, such as "The Jeter Flip" and "Ken Griffey Jr's Home Run Swing", but those two are the most impressive. Take a couple minutes, enjoy the clips, and feel a little younger again.

Word.

I'll Gladly Take Her Place If You'll Let Me, Make This My Last Request

2011-06-10T16:07:00.004-06:00

I have this thing. You see, I like new technology. I really like it. However, I temper this with an unwilling desire to pay a high premium for something, simply because it's new. This is because I'm really not a materialistic guy. I have an iPhone sure. But it's the 3gs, and I just got it this week. I have a Mac laptop. But it's from 2007 I believe, and I got it about two months ago. It might be older than that, I'm not sure, and don't really care to check.

That's what I do. I wait until the newest model comes out, and then I buy the preceding model. Besides avoiding the high mark-up, I usually get it after all the bugs have been worked out. I didn't switch from Windows 3.1 to Win95 until Win98 came out and it was preloaded on everything. 3/1 was working fine for me. Saw no need to upgrade when all my programs were running just fine. In some ways, I miss that system because you could still easily go into DOS and edit files that way. There was no such thing as a hidden file or folder. Just something that you needed to know the right DOS command for. And I knew them.

This isn't the main point of this post, but it does lay some groundwork. I generally don't fret over the handful of possessions I have. None of the furniture is my room was purchased by me, or constructed in the past 2 years. I have a row of books, but all of them were purchased second hand for no more than $4 a piece. They could all disappear tomorrow, and mostly, I would wonder if whoever took them enjoyed reading them. There is, however, one possession that I do care for. In fact, I care a lot about it.

That's my car. I love my car. I say that without regard or hesitation. I don't tell her this often enough, but I hope I tell it to her enough that she never doubts my adoration. If there was a draft where I had to give up possessions one by one, The first thing I would give up would be the BYU baseball cup I got attending a game earlier this season. Then, the plastic bowl I use to hold my watches. Somewhere down the list you'd find my TV, and my clothes, and my computer, and my phone. At the very bottom of the list, you'd find my car. (I went back and forth between this and scriptures, but I went with the car because I could then drive it to some missionary apartment and ask for a free copy of the Book of Mormon, and possibly the Bible. They would have to throw it through the window because my clothes were higher up on the list, but still, I could easily get a new set of scriptures.)

Yesterday, I was coming back to my car from a delicious Winger's lunch. And I saw the most horrible thing I've seen in a while. Turns out, someone decided to scrape their car along the back fender of my car. I felt like I had been beaten with a mace. This was my baby, and she had been wounded. I can't be for certain, but I swear, I heard it whimper a little bit. I raced over to it, examining the extent of the damage, and told her things were going to be ok. I was here now, and this would get fixed. Looked around for a note from the offender, and found nothing. Cowards. Drove her back to work gingerly. Figured she had a rough enough day as is, didn't want to give her any other strains. My co-worker comes in and says "Hey, what happened to your car?" "I don't want to talk about it. It gets me too upset."

After work, I took her into the clinic known as O'Reilly's auto parts. Had the clinician take a look, and told me the bad news. Most of it would be able to be buffed out, considered most of it was plastic transferred on to her. Some parts though, some scratched into the paint and those could not be buffed out. It hurts to hear that your baby is likely going to carry a scar. I picked up the healing balm, and took her home. There, I lovingly worked the balm into her wound, trying my best to clear all the foreign debris. After about 45 minutes, I had an appointment I couldn't miss (I do loves me some softball), but after that, I came back home and did my best to fix what was left. Now, she still has some spots left that need a little touch up, but she's almost back to her good old self.

The moral of this story: I love my car. I really love her.

Word.

I Guess I'm Not As Strong As I Used To Be

2011-05-30T22:22:00.000-06:00

Yeah, that last post was kind of a cop-out. Can we just let that slide? You expect more from me, and I expect more from me. So, to make it up to you, the half-dozen or so consistent readers hailing from all over the country, I decided to give you a little extra this week. Maybe I'm getting softer in my old age. Maybe I'm actually enjoying doing this after about 3.5 years or so. Maybe I like the warmth of a laptop on my lap while I'm watching a movie. I don't know. Odds are, it's all of them combined. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this, because I slammed it all out in the space of about 20 minutes and I'm going with it.

First thing I'd like to bring up: I hate my phone. When I got back from St. Maarten, one of the first things I needed to do was get a new cell phone (side note: I kind of miss not having a cell phone. Make no mistake, my phone lies unbothered for well over 85% of the day, so it's not that I'm getting overwhelmed by call or text volume. It's the exact opposite reason why I miss not having a cell phone. I miss not having to look at the phone, and realize there are no calls or texts. Cue the cheesy rift of "Lowered Expectations"). Turns out, they're kind of critical in today's society. If you don't believe me, go on a cruise and see how much different your life is for that week. Anyway, I did a little research, and decided to go with the Palm Pre Plus. Yep. Palm is A ) still around and B ) makes cell phones. I had read the reviews and realized that it was a nice balance of what I wanted: A slide, not flip, phone; tactile buttons; camera; and email. Additionally, it would only cost me about $50. The iPhone 4 was a possibility, but a possibility that had a $100-200 tag on it (I can't remember how much, but it was noticeably more than the Palm Pre). I saw a couple blackberry options, but honestly, I didn't like the idea of a blackberry. It seemed like too much machine for me. I like things simple. Above all, I like things simple.

I spend the better parts of my day thinking of complex scenarios and situations. Needlessly mind you, but that's what I do. I look around the room and think about things like "What if there was a fire and that exit is blocked?" Or "Is there a better way to lay out the furniture?" Or "Is it worth it to try and invest the little savings I have in a business venture, or just to let it slowly grow by interest?" And those are just the not sports or girls related ones. I'd share those, but really, they'd either bore, impress, confuse or upset you. Three of those I try to avoid. 25% chance? Not worth the risk.

Back to the phone. So I've had this one for about 5 months now. And I hate it. I'm already on a replacement because the power button, which is practically the only mechanical button outside the keyboard, stopped working. Kind of an important button. Additionally, about a month back it stopped receiving picture messages. An hour or so with customer services, and it worked again. Last week, back to not being able to receive pictures. Worst of all, the ability to search the internet is spotty, and that's kind. If I'm moving at all, forget about it. It's a step above having to be in wi-fi area, and that's it. Smart phone my tuckus.

Went to the ATT store because they have that fantastic promo to get the iPhone 3gs for just $50. I was hoping I could renew my agreement, pay the $50, turn in the crap phone I have and then be done with it. I realize that my phone bill would likely increase on the monthly basis, but for the added features, not to mention the fact that it works nearly all the time, worth it. Unfortunately, they won't let me sign into a new agreement until August. Of 2012. Great. I understand exactly why. Heck, I go over this same issue on a daily basis with the people I talk to at my job. No harm, no foul. Then the guy tells me that I could buy the phone off of KSL. When people in Utah say KSL, I instantly translate that into eBay. Not that I don't check KSL classifieds, but I check eBay first because, well I know it, and I trust it. Turns out, even a used iPhone 3gs with 8gb is going to run me about $200. Even if I sell my Palm Pre over the same medium, the net cost is about $100-125. And I'm still not sure what my monthly bill would move to. A lot of questions, not a lot of answers. If you have the answers, such as how much the monthly bill for an iPhone would be, that would be great.

Second thing: Been on the dating scene now for a couple months. I can tell you this: It's exactly the same as when I left it. Handful of courageous guys (some might use other adjectives, but I'll go with this one because I know the chutzpah it takes to do what they do) willing to walk up to any and every girl in the room, engage in brief but meaningful conversation, and request a phone number. Bunch of girls always in small groups of 2-4 talking amongst themselves while also noticing whom else is in the room. And the bulk of people just milling about as though there wasn't any social undercurrent trying to steer people together.

I used to be part of that first group. Believe me when I say, there is a not a scenario that I have not asked for a girl's number in. I'm not proud of them all, but I've done them all. In a class? Of course. At church? You betcha. Those are the easy ones. How about at a party where your friends are leaving and you just noticed her on your way out? Yessir. What about while at McDonalds and ordering food? Indeed. After going through a temple session? Sure did.

Now, oh man, I wait forever to ask for a girl's number. Truthfully, I like for there to be a solid reason other than "I want to ask you out", when I ask for their number. This is two-fold: 1) increase my odds of the second date (the first date is almost a given. It's the second date that is always up in the air. However, last girl I tried to ask out, definitely said no when I first asked her out. But that's certainly more than exception than the rule), 2) allows both of us to become comfortable around each other. This is more for their sake than mine. If you read this, you likely know me. If you know me, you know that I'm more or less comfortable all the time, especially in low body count situations.

I just don't have the stamina that these young bucks do, going into the fray time and again. Nor do I have the resilience of getting on the horse and bucked off on a weekly basis. Just don't got it in me anymore. Now-a-days, I pick my spots that I feel are higher percentages. Goodness knows, I'm not always right, but I play the odds. The downside is your volume goes down. Dramatically. Let me rephrase that. My volume goes down. Some guys seem to fall bass ackwards from one relationship into another, or from one girl to another (yes, there's a difference, a rather large difference). I'm not in that group.

What I'm saying is that the dating scene has not changed in the least. I have changed in the most. Not sure why, just know that I can't go back. This isn't good because I have to relearn how to maneuver. It's like I moved from shortstop to right field. Nothing against right field, but it gets far less activity, and demands less agility and resilience than playing shortstop. Still the same game, but completely different skills.

Third thing: I'm getting a Utah driver's license on Tuesday. My Florida one expires that day, and I can't renew it by mail. I figure that I won't be going to grad school in Florida, so there's no advantage to maintaining residence there. I might attend grad school in Utah, might as well get the in-state discount. Additionally, just because I have a Utah license, does not mean I have to register my car in Utah. No emissions or safety tests for me, thank you very much. I'll keep that $35 a year in my pocket.

I am sad to let the Florida license go though. It's been with me for so many thousands of miles. I'm not sure how many because the car I drove in college had a broken odomoter. I can tell you that I've driven my current car about 52,000 miles in the 3.5 years I've owned it. Oh, and it was parked in a warehouse for 1.5 of those years. I have to figure that I at least double that amount in the other car, and then added about 40k during high school. All in all, that license has seen me through about 200,000 miles. It is probably the oldest thing I still currently own. Except for my alarm clock. Had that thing since day 1 of the mission. Alas, all good things come to an end.

Fourth: I still really like tootsie rolls. I've been working on a bag this weekend. Got about 8 left. Don't ask for them. You won't get them.

Word.

I'm Turning Off A Real Live Drive And That's Right I'm Hitting Easy Street In Mud Tires

2011-05-28T20:18:00.003-06:00

For those of you who don't know, it's more or less been raining here in Utah since I got back from Oakland. It has cost me countless softball games, golf rounds and sunny days. Not too pleased, but since I still can't control the weather, so be it.

I guess I should talk about the fact that I went to Oakland two weeks ago. They were still on my list of teams I haven't seen at their home, and the White Sox were in town that weekend, so I dragged my brother over there. Had it been any other team, no way I would have done it. Spent more time driving then actually enjoying the Bay Area. And, in case there ever is a contest for most boring interstate, my vote has to go to I-80. And I don't think it's that close. As soon as you leave Chicago, there is nothing worth seeing until you get to SLC. From there, you have absolutely nothing until Wendover (and calling Wendover something is very generous) and then even more nothingness until Reno. After Reno, you go through the mountain range, and then its a stream of cities leading up to Sacramento and then Oakland. But for the vast majority, you just want to self-medicate the trip. I kid you not, it might have been worth it to ride a train or bus, just so you wouldn't have to be awake through that nonsense.

Once there, things went well. Yes, my White Sox lost, but they played alright. Gavin Floyd was on the mound, and I knew from the first couple batters we were in for trouble. He couldn't keep the ball down at all, and you can only survive so long throwing up in the zone. They broke through for a crooked number early, and that was during the stretch where we decided to leave all of our bats in the dugout, so we could never catch back up. I wasn't happy, but it happens. No one wins them all. And right now, we're still losing more than we win. At least we're hitting the ball again, and winning more than once a week.

After the game, we realized that the San Jose Earthquakes, local MLS team, was playing that night, and that San Jose was only about an hour away from Oakland. Why not? Nothing else really going on in the Bay area, so we trekked down there and caught the game. Side note: Northern California has substantially different weather than Southern California. I had packed a pair of jeans because I knew jeans worked in all situations. What I should have packed was my snow board pants, a sweater, a jacket and a beanie. So cold. Got a hot chocolate, which helped a little, but not enough. Went to their merchandise trailer (yes trailer. The field was a college's field, and the stands looked like they were from some high school football field. It was ridiculous knowing one team played here, and another team in the same league played at Rio Tinto. Like having one twin look like Reese Witherspoon, and the other look like Rihanna after Chris Brown let the hands go on her) and asked if they had a beanie. The only thing they had close was a beanie-scarf. It's exactly what it sounds like. And I wore it. And it kept me warm. No complaints.

On the drive home, it started snowing outside of Sacramento. I'm told it snows in that region maybe once or twice a year. I guess this was that once a year. We ended up having to put chains on. Now, I've heard of this practice, and I know people have done it, but I've never even seen it happen, much less had to do it myself. Thankfully, my brother's car had chain in the trunk, and some guys were there willing to put them on for us for only $25. (Huge rip-off, but we didn't know how to do it, so we figured better safe than sorry. Trust me when I say, save your money. This ain't hard to do. I can walk you through it over the phone if you need it) We had to drive about 25 mph up the canyon for about a half an hour. All in all, added about 3 hours onto our travel time. Ridiculous. Just another reason why I don't like the snow.

Also, this trip was done so close on the heels of the cruise because I was going to start teaching an MCAT class shortly thereafter. This is the one that they assigned me after the first one was canceled because no one signed up. The first session was last Wednesday night. I show up about 20 minutes early to prep and what-not. With about 1 minute to go, two people walked in. That was it. Yesterday, I was told that the class was canceled again because only three people total had signed up. So now, I'm more or less back in a holding pattern. I do have a potential GMAT course coming up in a month or so, but who knows now. It's getting to the point where all the re-scheduling is more than the job's worth. I'm not using this job to pay rent, I'm using this job to play golf.

So yeah. This post, not too exciting of a read, but I figure two weeks was a long enough absence. I'll probably throw something up again soon. Have a BBQ tomorrow, and have to get a new Driver's License on Tuesday. Turns out, those things expire. Who knew?

Word.

You'll Be My Sunny Day, I'll Be Your Shade Tree

2011-05-13T13:17:00.000-06:00

[Second Editor's note: Turns out, Blogger.com revamped their site for whatever reason. To do so, they need to pull every post that had been put up between Monday and Wednesday. And then they decided to take out all the pictures I put in along with the captions I listed under them. So, now I'm having to re-do them. Lovely.]

[Editor's note: This first paragraph was written chronologically after the rest of the post, and then added once I remember to write about it. Hence the second paragraphs has it's own opening and the first paragraph doesn't flow at all with the rest of the post. I'm sure you all would have been outraged had I not explained all this. You're welcome.] First, and most certainly foremost, after almost two years of searching and collecting, I have finally completed the my collection of the entire 2005 Chicago White Sox World Series Roster Signed World Series baseballs. Timo Perez was the last holdout from all the 25 guys on the roster and Ozzie Guillen. Who is Timo Perez? Glad you asked. He was our fourth outfielder for the series and recorded one at bat, never reaching base. He played his last game at the major league level in 2007, so finding his signature was tough enough, but then to get it on the 2005 World Series baseball was quite the treat. I forgot to take a picture of the completed case holding all 26 balls as well as the official WS patch, and the replica WS trophy, but just picture it in your mind. Makes you smile doesn't it. Sure makes me smile.

There are some things I just don't mess around with. I don't drink 5 hour energy because it scares me. I don't watch anything with Matthew McConnaughey because I will leave more stupid than I entered. I don't ever touch a thermostat unless I'm the only one it affects because too many arguments have started over it.

I also don't mess around with sunburns. Spent a week or so in Florida and then on a cruise through the Caribbean. Brought about a dozen friends or so, and many of them were interested in getting a tan. We'd get to the beach or head out to the pool deck and they would gingerly put on a coat of SPF 15 or 30 and go about their day. Me? SPF 90 if could please. I would have gone with the 100, but it was the sport stuff that burns your eyes for about five minutes after you put it on. I don't care if I'm whiter than a cotton ball. I want no part of skin cancer. It runs in the family and I've already logged enough sun-hours growing up in Florida. So now-a-days, when I go to the beach, I put on a healthy layer of strong sun block.

Now, some of you might be thinking "If he put on all that sun block, how did he come back a little bit darker than when he left?" Golf is the answer my friends. For whatever reason, I usually forget to put sunblock on when I tee it up. So, after spending a weekend at the beach, a week on a cruise that went from beach to beach, the only sun I really got was at the golf course after all of that. And if you think I'm kidding, know that I wear a glove on my left hand when I golf, and believe that my right hand is noticeably darker than my left. Not a coincidence.

All in all though, the cruise was great. I love them. They're a hotel that travels to different places while you sleep. Oh, and they let you eat as much as you want. They'd deliver the menu and without fail, I would get 2-3 appetizers (really enjoyed their Ceasar salad, to the point that I had it every night), 2-3 entrees, and 2-3 desserts. Never went for the Trifecta of 3-3-3, but often wound up mowing through 8 total plates. And out of all of those plates, they all were delicious, except for the turkey. Just bad. Not dry, just without flavor. Yuk.

Annnnnd... here's the photo dump.

This is the whole group outside the house. Why we took the shot across the street and not in front of the house, I'm not sure. I'm guessing sun position, but there are still quite a lot of shadows.
If you thought I was kidding about finding the shade on the beach, you're dead wrong. There are about 60 beach loungers in front of me, most of which were empty. Me? I'm taking the wooden stool on the covered deck. And, as my sister pointed out, that sign was temporarily incorrect. If I'm there, there is a lifeguard on duty.
Just chilling at the Indialantic Beach boardwalk. I'm using boardwalk loosely, because the entire thing could be carried by a seven iron. And still, it's was the closest thing to a boardwalk outside of Cocoa Beach.
Best Billboard ever. I say, they shrink it down to business card size and hand them out at YSA activities. I realize we preach abstinence, but just in case, they should know to Protect Ya Tings.
Sometimes you really want to go swimming. And you're wearing a suit. And you don't see those two as being mutually exclusive. Side note: chlorine will change your suit forever. Not in a radiation-cloud-turned-johnny-storm-into-the-human-torch kind of way either.

Yes, that is the whole group throwing handstands. I'm just right of center. Still on the way up, hence I haven't locked my knees. However, my toes are still pointed. Thanks high school diving.

Get Your Towels Ready, It's About To Go Down

2011-04-24T18:19:00.002-06:00

Sorry about the layoff since the last entry. Things got busy. Deal with it.

I don't really have a lot right now to talk about. I mean, work is going well (just got my first commission check and it made me question my testimony on tithing), baseball season is in full swing (let's not talk about the horrible start my White Sox have made), and my TV shows are all closing out their seasons. There's really only two things worth bringing up.

The first is that this is my first post on my Mac laptop. My previous laptop was getting too finicky. When you have to restart every time you try to access a document, your computer has serious issues. I figured I would have to spend something like $150-200 to take it into Best Buy and have them tell me that 1) it's old, 2) it's running Windows Vista, 3) they would have to completely re-install the OS just to fix it. So, I decided to look around and see if I could get a used Mac laptop for a comparable amount.

About a year after I bought my previous laptop I decided that there was no way I was ever going to buy another PC again. It's not that I don't like them. I actually have no problem with them. It's just that I feel the Mac product is better all the way around, save the price. I knew I couldn't afford a new one as they start at $1000, but I figured if I was willing to take a model that was a couple year old, I should find something in my budget. Spent a couple weeks, and after a couple failed attempts, landed one on ebay for just under $250 with an extra battery and a fancy carrying bag. Well, the bag came with it. I wouldn't have paid extra for it, but since they were sending it that way anyway, I'll guess I find a use for it. I do really like it. I like that it works the way it is supposed to work. I like how the OS is just as simple as I remembered it being. And, I like the aesthetics of a titanium cased laptop. For those interested, it's a PowerBook G4. I read the specs, and knew that it can't get snow leopard because of it's Intel processor, but the way it is now is more than good enough for me.

The other thing is that a week from now, I'll be back in Florida and getting ready to board a cruise to the Bahamas. Pretty stoked about it. 5 day, 4 nights, leaving out of Port Canaveral, which is about 20 minutes away from my parents' house. There's a dozen of us going. We all fly in Saturday and stay at my parents' house until Monday afternoon. When we were setting this up, Mike asked me if it would be Ok to have that many people stay at the house. I said it should be fine, but I asked my mom anyway. She said "Only 12?". I told Mike I wasn't going to get worried about space until we hit 20 people. Then I might worry. Sure, some people will have to sleep on a couch, but the vast majority will be in a bed. Most will be sharing a bed, as they are all Queen sized or larger. I, however, will not be sharing my bed. Sorry guys, I draw the line with my hospitality at sharing my bed with another guy. If we hit 20, I might think about it. But if everyone is positioned, and we still have couches available, I'm sleeping solo, thank you very much.

The cruise should be a lot of fun. We're planning on a lot of snorkeling, a lot of beach sitting, and a lot of eating. Maybe some other stuff, but that's all I'm sure of. However, afterward, I'm going to start watching what I eat a titch. Got on the scale the other day. Last January, 2010, I came back from med school and weighed in at 150. Granted, that was a bit low, given that I hadn't figured out what to eat in that foreign land, and hadn't settled into a study-eat-sleep schedule, but nevertheless, I was at 150 pounds. Jumped on the scale the other day: 180. Not even kidding. Most I've ever weighed. I realized this isn't anywhere near a problem. But, I figure if I don't take it off now, I might not ever. So after the cruise, the goal is to get back down to 160 by the end of 2011. It'll be about 8 months, so 2.5 pounds month.

Here's where I turn to the handful of people that read this. Is this a reasonable goal? I've never cared about my weight, so I've never set a goal to gain or lose it. The only time I've seen people do it is on "The Biggest Loser". I've seen people throw off nearly 20 lbs in a week. Sure, they originally tipped the scales at 450+, so I understand that for me to lose 20 in a week could only be explained by amputation. But is 2.5 lbs a month for 8 months reasonable? I feel that it is, but I'm not sure.

Don't ask me how I'm going to do it, because I'm not sure. I figure I'll start with going to the gym more often than once a month. (Side note: went 8 times in the past two weeks. Impressed myself with that run.) Then, once that plateaus, I'll have to examine what and how much I eat. Right now, I have this problem where every night, I become starved at like 9:30. Like, painfully hungry. Was on a date with a girl and we were driving back around 10 pm, and I was absolutely starving, but we had just eating dinner at like 7. I asked if she was hungry, and she said no, so I figured I would just bide my time until I could eat some food. Drove the rest of the way to her place trying not to wince as I passed by Krispy Kreme, McDonalds, Wendy's, and even the gas station, which I knew had delicious peach rings inside. After I took her home, I went straight back to McDonalds, had a spicy chicken sandwich and double stack from the drive through, and ate them both before I pulled into the driveway.

Every night, I feel like this, and if I don't eat then, I get painfully hungry around 10 am the next morning. The other day I tried riding through the night, and then eating a breakfast to see if that did the trick. Not really. Just pushed back the morning jonesing until 11 am. Longest hour of my life between that and when I take my lunch at noon. I have no explanation for any of this, I just know that it's true, and that I don't particularly like it.

And, man, are my White Sox looking grim these days. Just when I thought it was safe to pull my Gordon Beckham jersey out of the back of the closet...

Word.

You Know It's You That Calls Me Back Here Baby

2011-03-31T11:00:00.000-06:00

For the faithful, your patience is now to be rewarded. This is the time that I unfold unto you the mysteries of the 2011 Baseball season.

NL East

Philadelphia Phillies- Hard to pick against the 4 aces (Ok 2 aces and a pair of kings), however, with Utley to miss extended amounts of time, Rollins not what he was a couple years ago, Werth gone and Howard stuck in a decline, these guys are going to need to win a lot a of one run games. Add in that Lidge is going to miss the first month and the closer duties are falling to Jose Contreras, and this division is going to be extremely tight over the season. Still, I'll take great pitching and mediocre hitting over just about anything. 96 wins

Atlanta Braves - A lot riding on whether Chipper can be productive. Still have good arms around Hudson and Hanson, and even Jair Jurrjens is a decent back end of the rotation guy. They should be competitive, but they're going to fall short when Chipper has to walk away around the All star break. 92 wins.

Florida Marlins - This is the team that needs to decide quickly what it's future is going to be. They're in a a division that next year is going to become really strong with Philly, Atlanta and, gulp, Washington battling it out. I like Johnson and Nolasco, and Stanton can rake the ball. They have young talent, and need to decide whether to stick with this set, or keep building for later. Even though I have them third in the division, I feel they have the second best shot of winning the division. They have the best and most chances to catch lightning in a bottle for a season. However, you still have to catch it, and I don't think they will catch enough. 87 wins.

Washington Nationals - 2011 will just be a preview of what's to come. They added Werth, are taking their time with Strasburg and Harper, and preparing for a massive 2012. I love this team for next year. This year, not enough firepower with Werth being the only start making the opening day roster. 79 wins.

New York Mets - My goodness, how far they have fallen. Let me put it to you this way. Three years ago, Johan Santana was going in the first round of fantasy drafts. In my last draft, he didn't get picked. In a deeper draft I was in, with 14 teams, he went in the 300's. He isn't what he used to be, but who is going to drive in any runs for him? Just a train wreck from top to bottom here. I genuinely feel bad for David Wright at this point. 68 wins.

NL Central - Much like the AL Central, a truly weak division. When the Cardinals can lose their #2 pitcher and are still very much in contention, you're division is weak.

Cincinnati Reds - Nothing broke here, nothing to fix. I do look forward to seeing Aroldis Chapman more, because, well 105 mph heat with a 97 mph slider is just jaw-dropping. It's like watching Jimmer hoist up 28 foot bombs. Gets me out of my seat. Out of the two drafts I was in, he was the only RP I picked up out of choice, not just to fill a roster spot. 96 wins.

St. Louis Cardinals - Pujols. In a contract year. I don't know if he thinks along the lines of big dollars, but if he does, give him the triple crown right now. Carpenter is pitching well, but behind him there isn't much depth. Still, weak division, so they might just steal this one. 90 wins.

Milwaukee Brewers - Fielder is going to rock the ball in his contract year, and Greinke should be able to continue feasting on mediocre teams like he did in the AL Central. At least, once he gets off the DL from his pickup game of basketball. 88 wins.

Chicago Cubs - Not much to like here. Aramis Ramirez laid a turd last year. Alfonso Soriano is battling Jason Giambi for worst contract ever. Zambrano pitches well, when he's not going crazy. Sitll, 4th in their division. 80 wins.

Houston Astros - Even less to like here. 76 wins.

Pittsburgh Pirates - I think I would be willing to pay $1 a game to be a season ticket holder for them, but only if I could renew at that price every year for the next 100. 1 penny more than that, and I would pass. 64 wins.

NL West

San Francisco Giants - Another team with great pitching, but they also have good hitting. I think they'll take this division, but it will be a close one. Favorite part about my fantasy drafts: getting Buster Posey in both of my leagues. 93 wins

Colorado Rockies - Good pitching behind Jimenez and De La Rosa, and you have to feel good about having Tulo and CarGo in the lineup. Personally, big fan of Dexter Fowler. I like my CF speedy with solid batting averages. 91 wins.

Arizona Diamondbacks - Just another year in the desert for this team that seems to have no clue what it is trying to do for it's future. 83 wins.

San Diego Padres - Could turn things up, but probably won't. 77 wins.

Los Angeles Dodgers - Kershaw and Billingsley would make you think that this team has a decent chance, but they don't. No pop in the lineup, and a front office that is in complete disarray. 75 wins, and I'm being generous.

AL East - It ain't what it used to be. It used to be that this division was far away the best one in baseball. It just isn't so anymore.

Boston Red Sox - I went back and forth between the Yankees and them for the top spot, and might even switch it again before this posts, but for now, I'm taking Boston and here's why. Lester is pitching great. Beckett is still pitching well, but not what he used to be. Lackey is a 3 starter, and pitches like it. While I don't trust Papelbon, he still gets the job done. (PS I love that they picked up Bobby Jenks, but I only love it because it means my White Sox don't have him anymore. Was great in 2005-2006. Has slowly scared me more and more each year since.) They added Adrian Gonzalez, who will have a big year, but knowing that they more or less had to cut Beltre to get him, the added production from that move will not be that drastic. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Crawford signing may put them over the top, even though he's horribly overpaid. 97 wins.

New York Yankees - Had they landed Cliff Lee, they would be the favorite for the entire American League. Since they didn't land anyone, they land themselves here in the 2 spot. When you're season is hinging on AJ Burnett returning to form, and don't kid yourselves, it really is at this point, you're in trouble. CC is great, and I am believing more and more in Phil Hughes. The offense is still there, and Granderson might just have a great year if he continues hitting like he did after the all-star break. Still, too many question marks and a very shaky back end of the rotation and bullpen. Just like every year. 95 wins.

Toronto Blue Jays - Why them and not the Rays? Mostly because I think they can put it together, and the players they traded away won't be as detrimental as the ones the Rays lost. Don't think they'll contend, but they might look like it during the first month. 88 wins.

Tampa Bay Rays - Just lost too many pieces to be considered contenders again. And that stadium, my goodness. I do discount them because they play in a dump that never sells out. Not even for the World Series. 85 wins.

Baltimore Orioles - Lot of young talent and Showalter can work magic. Just don't think this is the year for it to happen 80 wins.

AL Central - Otherwise known as the weakest division in all of baseball

Chicago White Sox - Not just because I'm a homer for them, but because Danks, Buehrle, Jackson, Floyd and eventually Peavy make the best rotation in this division. We added Adam Dunn to provide the power we lost from Jermaine Dye (Who still hasn't signed with a team since we released him after the 2009 season) and Jim Thome. Hopefully, Quentin can finally rebound, and Konerko can come close to the career year he had last year. Either way, in this land of the bland, the one eyed man is king. 89 wins.

Minnesota Twins - The first time I saw Liriano pitch was back in 2006. I remember watching this big guy dominate batters. And then they would cut to Johan Santana in the bull pen. All I could think was, glad we won it all in 2005, cause we're screwed for the next decade. A trade of Santana and some injuries to Liriano erased that nightmare, but Liriano is back in top form, and with a resurgent Carl Pavano, the Twins are going to be nipping at Chicago's heels all season long. I just don't think Thome is going to have the year he had last year, and Morneau is one dink on the head from retirement. Mauer is still the best catcher in ball, but you need 8 other guys in the lineup. 86 wins.

Detroit Tigers - Verlander still has the prettiest pitching motion I've ever seen, and Cabrera figured out the weight thing, not quite the DUI thing, but one at a time for the guy. Problem is, there isn't a whole lot beyond those two on this club. A couple young guys that might break out, but nothing to bet on. 81 wins.

Kansas City Royals - One of the few teams where finishing fourth is going to be considered a great success. Such a young talented team, they're bound to do something this year. For their sake, I hope they're able to develop a young nucleus and keep them for a decade. I doubt it though. 78 wins.

Cleveland Indians - Name me three Indians right now. Jake Westbroook, Grady Sizemore and... exactly. 67 wins.

AL West - Or the "We used to be good" division

Texas Rangers - Even without Cliff Lee, these guys have to be the favorites. Nobody in the division got better, and no adding Vernon Wells's massive contract does not in any way make you better. Plus, they still have the young hitter, even Michael Young, but he might be a little disgruntled after all the trade talk. 90 wins.

Oakland Athletics - I don't have a lot of logical reasons for them to be here. I just couldn't pick the Angels. 82 wins.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - Not much to see here. However, of all the picks, I feel this one is easily the one most likely to be wrong, because there won't be much separating them from the Athletics. 81 wins.

Seattle Mariners - Ok, they're still bad, but they can't be as bad as they were last year. That was the worst team hitting since the DH. Still, they'll be last in the west. 70 wins.

To recap: (Playoff Teams)

NL East: Phillies, Braves, Marlins, Nationals, Mets

NL Central: Reds, Cardinals, Brewers, Cubs, Astros, Pirates

NL West: Giants, Rockies, Diamondbacks, Padres, Dodgers

AL East: Red Sox, Yankees, Blue Jays, Rays, Orioles

AL Central: White Sox, Twins, Tigers, Royals, Indians

AL West: Rangers, Athletics, Angels, Mariners

Phillies over Giants, Reds over Braves; Phillies over Reds

White Sox over Red Sox, Yankees over Rangers; Yankees over White Sox

Phillies over Yankees

AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez, Miguel Cabrera, Adrian Gonzalez

NL MVP: Pujols, Votto, Fielder

AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez, CC Sabathia, Jon Lester

NL Cy Young: Halladay, Cliff Lee, Lincecum

AL All Star Starters - Adrian Gonzalez, Robinson Cano, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Joe Mauer, Carl Crawford, Curtis Granderson, Ichiro, Felix Hernandez. (If there's a DH - Teixeira)

NL All Star Starters- Albert Pujols, Utley, Reyes, Beltre, Buter Posey, Werth, Victorino, Mike Stanton, Roy Halladay. (DH- Joey Votto)

There you have it. This is what you should have put down if you wanted to have a chance at winning my money. I look forward to collecting all of your pretty signed dollar bills.

Word.

Nothing Like The View From the Cheap Seats

2011-03-29T15:10:00.001-06:00

Contest deadline- March 31st Noon EST. Make sure to submit by then.

Word.

His Eyes Are Cold And Restless, His Wounds Have Almost Healed

2011-03-26T00:29:00.003-06:00

About two weeks ago, we were all taking in the Jimmer show. It was during the regular season, and the game was being carried by Versus. We came out victorious and were reveling in our success. Meanwhile, Versus switched to their normal programming of the Professional Bull Riding tour. Yes, there are professionals, and yes, they do have a tour. Well, at some point during this I say "That looks awesome". Mike hears this and tells me that he knows a guy down in Payson who rides bulls. He then tells me that they have an open night where anyone with $40 can ride a bull. I say "That sounds awesome". He asks if I would do it if he could raise the money. Of course I will.

I have a couple of friends. I don't know a single one of them that if asked "Would you pay $5 to see Rick get thrown by a bull?" would say no. They all would say either yes, or "Only $5?" I think he had the money raised in surplus within about 10 minutes and 3 mass texts.

So, this past Monday, we had an unofficial FHE at the Spanish Fork fairgrounds. I say unofficial for two reasons: 1) the official activity was swing dancing lessons with two other wards, and 2) the turn-out for this activity was about double what we normally get at FHE. I go to sign up and they look at me in my hoodie and tennis shoes and ask if I'm the first timer. Not "a" first timer, but "the" first timer. I say yes and ask if there are any other first timers. "We usually get one a night. But they never come back." Greeeaaat.

I go down to the pen and there are about 15 or so other guys shooting the breeze, prepping for their ride and picking out their bull. I show up and start talking with anyone who would listen. I had two questions that I needed answered. The first was how do I make sure I don't die. I felt that was an important question. The second was whether I could use someone's vest and helmet. Both were answered simply and I had things set up. I then spent about 40 minutes getting advice from a couple different guys about how to do well. They probably could have told me all of it in 15 minutes, but since every third word was some bull-riding jargon, I had to keep saying "I don't know what that word means. Please explain it to me." Soon though, I had my confidence and my gear and they had more or less assigned me a bull to ride.

One of the guys who helped me out a lot put the ropes on the bull and told me how to mount him. I was waiting my turn and my bull was next in line. Thing is, the bull that was first in line wasn't ready. So they asked if someone was ready, and next thing I know, all the handlers are moving towards my bull and I'm told I'm going right then. A little rushed, but not too worried because I had received enough of the same advice from a different sources that I felt comfortable in what I was going to do. I didn't think I was going to do great, I just felt comfortable that I would put on a decent show and live to tell about it.

So I'm on the bull, I've got the rope in my hand and I'm posturing the right way, when the guy outside the gate tells me to "Go with the bull when the gate opens". This threw me for a loop because I hadn't heard that before, and couldn't imagine any other option. When that gate opened I was going with the bull no matter what. He jumps I jump. He turns I turn. I'm going with him. (Turns out, what he meant was that some people don't lean in to the turn out of the gate. Like riding a motorcycle and you have to throw your body into the turns, same with the bull. Some people try to stay upright and they get tossed into the walls. Not good).

Next thing I know, I'm nodding my head and the gate opens. The bull takes a couple quick steps out of the gate and I lean with him. Then he sits down. Not even kidding. Took like three steps and went to the ground. I knew what to do if the bull went right or left, kicked with the front or the back, but no one told me what to do if he sat down. So I paused for a second and thought about getting off when I hear one of the bull fighters tell me to stay on. Just as I'm gearing back to staying on the bull stands up and jostles me off balance. A quick leap from him and I'm flying off. I crash on my right hip, and then hop up to my feet, scrambling for the nearest wall to climb. Above all else, everyone told me to run to a wall as soon as I left the bull.

I hear my cheering section going crazy for me and I think I gave them a wave. I honestly don't remember because the adrenaline was finally coursing through me at this time. I have this condition where the adrenaline doesn't really kick in for me until after the task is done. I keep things calm and collected all through whatever ordeal is happening, but then once it's over, I have to regroup. I felt like vomiting from the biochemical rush. I sat up on the fence and took a couple deep breaths until the feelings passed. The guys who I spoke with all told me I did a great job for a first time. I told them all thanks for all the help and after I realized I wouldn't have time for a second ride (Oh, did I tell you my friends paid for me to ride twice, regardless of the outcome of the first ride? Yeah. They're great friends), I headed back to my group. Right about then was when I started to feel my hip. It was sore like I haven't been before.

I could barely go from sitting to standing or vice versa. I walked with a pronounced limp for the rest of the night. Tuesday morning, I couldn't put any weight on it. I had to sit down to put my pants, socks and shoes on. It took me three times as long to get into and out of my car. And if I tried to push laterally, a sharp pain shot through my hip letting me know that it wasn't an option. I had to plan how I was going to roll into and out of bed. Wednesday was similar but not as bad. By Thursday the limp was gone, but I still could feel the pain if I stressed it sideways. Finally today I'm at the point where it only hurts if I push on it. I feel it a little getting in and out of the car, but nothing bad.

On Wednesday, Megan who is in nursing school texting me asking if I took any medication for the pain. I told her I hadn't taken anything. She asked if I liked pain. I told her "The hurt reminds me that I did something awesome."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZBgNjqxTIs

Word.

No One Man Should Have All That Power

2011-03-12T22:58:00.002-07:00

I do love this man:

I say that without embarrassment or reservation. He is amazing. When I first moved back to Utah, one of the first social things I did was go up to Salt Lake to watch BYU play Utah. I watched him hang 32 points in the first half, including a half-time buzzer beater from about two steps in front of the center line. Maybe you've seen it. Oh you haven't? Well here's the youtube link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XVMMGI2JcI&feature=related

You're welcome. (I realize there are multiple other videos, but the title and soundtrack of this one struck my fancy, so it got picked). Let me tell you a great story about him and about Wingers.

I love the Wingers. Nothing new there. Been to it at least a dozen or so times since moving back, and probably creeping up on the 50 mark in my lifetime. For the game on Friday night, a group of us wanted to go somewhere and watch it together. Our first choice just so happened to be the first choice for about half of Provo. Hour and a half wait when the game starts in 20 minutes? No thank you. Thankfully, we called over to Wingers and they said they could have all ten of us seated about 10 minutes into the game. Bless their souls.

So, we get there, and about half the mall is standing in their waiting area watching the game. People were standing outside the place watching through the window. We were sitting down within 4 minutes of game time. Amazingly, in those four minutes, The Jimmer had already poured in about 16 points. For those who don't follow college basketball, an average player score about 10 a game. A good player scores about 18 a game. A great player scores about 22 a game. Jimmer - 28.5 a game, average. Leading the nation by a wide margin. So, to see him go off for a quick 16 wasn't too shocking, but it certainly was delightful.

It should be noted that the Jimmer had tried to eclipse his own BYU single game record of 48 a couple times that season. He went off for a couple big first halves, but then either didn't the touches, or the minutes to get to the elusive 50 mark. Well, Friday night, he swished a three to get to 47 with about three minutes remaining on the clock. Next possession, he drives the lane, and gets fouled while putting up an off-balance shot.

It drops. 49 and a trip to the free throw line. (First and only free throw attempt of the game mind you. He just is not getting any foul calls any more, and it has lowered the number of times he takes it to the hoop. Effectively eliminated his slash and kick game.) He buries the free throw, and the entire place erupts. I've been in sports bars during big games. I've gone to the local eatery to watch the big UFC fight. Nothing compared to the noise and commotion I witnessed at a Wingers, over a Mountain West Conference semi-final game. Loudest non-stadium sporting event I've ever been a part of.

When coach Rose decided to pull The Jimmer with about 20 seconds or so left (he made another jumper to finish with 52), the entire restaurant gave The Jimmer a round of applause. Yes, we realized that the game was being played some 400 miles away, and that no matter how hard we clapped, he would never hear it. Doesn't matter.

Ask me if I stood while I clapped? You know I did. After a performance like that, I had to. It's like if I saw a pitcher throw a shutout, or someone hit for the cycle. You just have to let them know how positively pleased you are that they personified excellence. They don't know who you are and never will. They don't take in all the individual people's expressions of gratitude, but they do feel the cumulative effect, and I want to chip in what I can.

Can't wait for the brackets to come out. Truly giddy about our chance to make it to the Sweet Sixteen and, fingers crossed, beyond.

Word.

Turn Around, Look At What You See

2011-03-03T22:42:00.000-07:00

Here it is. #100. You've been waiting for it, and I've been.... too busy to put it together. When you work about 55-60 hours a week, things get a little busy. Now, how does one work that many hours? Glad you asked. I'm a little excited to brag about the fact that I'm gainfully employed, because well, I haven't been at a 40 hour a week position since that one month right after I graduated where I moved to Arizona and worked for Countrywide/Bank of America. Do you realize that since that time, I've lived in three different states, and two different countries? That's how long it's been since I worked a 40 hour week.

And let me tell you, it is an adjustment. I come home and am pretty tired. Ask me what time I went to bed last night. 10:30. Not even kidding. And slept like a baby until 7am. It was heaven. I don't get to do that often because I have to fit the other 15-20 hours of work in. I'm also going to be the MCAT teacher for Kaplan starting in a couple weeks. Right now I have a training program to go through that is pretty hard core. We have to prep the material as though we were teaching the class, and then teach the other instructors in training, as well as our instructor. For the record, I did score well, but that was nearly five years ago, and I've had to re-learn a good chunk of that material. Hence, the long hours of prep for a 4 hour training meeting.

But yeah. That's why it has been over two weeks since the last post. I wake up, go to work, come home, eat some dinner, and then if there isn't FHE/BYU basketball/Stake basketball, I'm probably studying the Kaplan material before watching a movie and going to bed. I know. Try to hide your jealousy. It's embarrassing me.

In the meantime, I dream of Baseball. Ok, maybe not always in the meantime. Maybe right in the middle of things. Maybe I did check to see when the White Sox played in Oakland, the only stadium west of the Rockies that I haven't been to yet (May 13-15. A weekend. I'm this close to buying tickets already. The Saturday game is also Mark Ellis Bat Day. Talk about my wheel house.). And maybe I did check and see what would be a good weekend to shoot over to Denver to watch the Rockies. What of it?

I do love me some Baseball, and now that Spring Training is in full swing, it's like the sun coming out of the ocean. At first, you can't even see it, but the horizon goes purple, letting you know that it's on its way. Then, you notice a point due East that takes on a red and then orange hue. By now, you can't even speak, for fear that you'll miss that magical moment where night unequivocally becomes day. Finally, the ball of fire emerges from the sea, and light scatters everywhere, making the world new again.

That's like Opening Day to me. It just makes every other part of life a little bit brighter, and little bit better. Colors are more vibrant. Girls are more attractive. Apple pie is more... well apple pie is always awesome, but it does become slightly more awesome. Baseball makes the world go round. That's a scientific fact.

And now, it once again is upon us. And once again, I have lain down the gauntlet, challenging all comers to test their wits and steel against mine. Much like Atreyu just before Fantasia fragments due to the nothing, I stare at you and say "Come after me Gmork!" I will vanquish all challengers to my throne. It's just what I do.

So get your game face on. Crunch your numbers. Your picks are due by noon Eastern time on March 31st. That's less than four weeks away. Think about what Beckett's concussion like symptoms will mean to the already shaky Boston staff. Think about how Adam Wainwright going in for Tommy John might effectively end the Cardinals hopes for the playoffs. Think about how losing Cliff Lee puts the Rangers division hopes in jeopardy.

And know that I've already spent time thinking about these things while you were sleeping.

Come after Gmork! I am Atreyu!

Word.

Tell Them Anything You Want To, Just Don't Tell Them All The Truth

2011-02-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

Call me insensitive, but when one of my friends takes a tumble, I laugh a little while helping them up. It should be noted I help them up, but it is always noted that I laugh a little. Now, if you're lucky enough to ever see me stumble around, then you know that I will actually laugh about the situation before I hit the ground.

Now that you understand that I laugh at pretty much anything that goes unexpected, you must realize how absolutely fantastic I thought the stake speed dating activity was this past Valentine's Day. I mean, I don't think it could have gone any better. At least for me it went great. I didn't make any sort of romantic connections, and didn't once think about asking for the other person's number. Maybe my heart is a little frozen, but after three minutes of light conversation, I don't feel in a position to ask for a phone number. Truth be told, I make it a point to wait as long as possible before asking for a girl's phone number. For instance, I knew Raechel for almost a year, stopped by her place dozens of times, and hung out with her about the same amount. Didn't take down her phone number until a bunch of us went down to Cali for Jake's wedding. I don't know why I do this, I just do.

That's not the point though. The point is that during the 'speed dates', I knew from word one that I would not be asking for the girl's phone number. Not that I didn't sit across from some interesting or attractive girls, but more that I've learned that any relationship intended to last beyond the first date, typically has more lead-up time to that first date than three minutes.

After the hour or so of musical chairs, I found out from some of the girls that some of the guys were not of this mindset. Some guys were at least honest enough to ask for them. But one guy pulled the what-type-of-phone-do-you-have?-Can-I-see-it-for-a-sec? maneuver. It's bush league all the way, but the gambit is designed to let the girl hand you her phone for seemingly harmless reasons, and then you call yourself from her phone. Thus getting her number, and giving yours in one simple, sneaky movement. Again, bush league. Amateur hour stuff. Never done it myself, never plan to.

The best part of this, was that this move was completely new to the victim. Bless her heart, but she was stunned first and foremost that this was an actual ploy. Then she was aghast that it actually happened to her. Me? I laughed. I still laugh. And I'll laugh when he calls this week asking for a date.

You've seen the laughing, now for the helping. After telling the girl about this dirty trick, I told her that if she needed an excuse to get out of his date invite, I would co-sign and take her out. There's your help. I'm not evil, I just really like to laugh and find things funny. Life's too serious without it.

Would I ever plan a speed dating activity after witnessing that event? Almost certainly not. Would I attend one if I knew that my female friends were going? Almost certainly yes. They always end up with the funniest stories. You can chalk that up because guys are generally more willing to push the envelope just to see if something will happen. And more often than not, that something that does happen, is a hilarious story for me. I'll help the girl hide from the idiot, dance with her if I see the fool approaching, and even agree to a pre-determined story to help her out of a dreadful night with the dope. But don't be surprised if I'm smiling or chuckling while I do it.

Word.

Ice Down That Igloo Cooler, Tank Of Gas That Oughta Do Her, I Can Feel A Good One Comin On

2011-02-08T14:10:00.002-07:00

Out of the gate, congrats go out to Mitch for winning the jar of salsa in last week's 1st Annual Super Bowl Prop Bet Contest. What makes it even more astonishing is that he won despite picking that Fergie's skirt/pants would go below her knees. He went 8 for 10, including that blunder. Impressive. That's how you take home the salsa.

Second, sometimes, you have to attend a super bowl party that has TV cameras show up. What? You didn't. Boring. They came because our buddy's commercial had the chance of airing. His was the Dorito's ad where the guy sucked the cheese residue off the other guy's finger. Neither of those guys are my buddy. My friend is the one that lost his pants in the last segment. And now he's a big deal, because his commercial led off the second commercial break of the super bowl. The TV crews interviewed him and then shot a bunch of B-roll of everyone there. It was pretty cool to see myself and my friends on the local news. And even cooler that it wasn't related to any criminal activity. Someone let my mom know I picked good friends. She'd be proud to know that.

Third, and easily most important, Pitchers and Catchers report in less than a week. I'm positively giddy because Baseball Tonight is airing right now. I genuinely believe that every time baseball tonight rolls, the temperature goes up 0.1 degrees wherever I am. You may think that doesn't matter, but I assure you, just as every game in the season counts, so does every bump up the thermostat. Plus, if you're throwing them away, I'm snatching them up faster than a hungry hungry hippo.

It also means the dawning of the 3rd annual 'Rick Russell knows more about Baseball than I do' competition. The wager will still be the same: you put up a single dollar bill upon which you write "Rick Russell knows more about Baseball than I do", joined by your signature, and I'll give $50 for whomever the winner is. I feel obligated to tell you that the house has taken home all the chips the past two years, and has no reason to believe that this year will be any different.

To give you schlubs a little better chances, I'm making it even simpler this year. In past years, I asked you predict the amount of wins for each team. Now, just determine their final position in each division. For each correctly positioned team, you get 5 points. Sweep a division, that's a 10 point bonus.

Playoffs are still involved as before. Correctly pick a playoff team: 5 points. Get their Wild Card or division champ designation right: 5 points. AL/NL champ: 10 points a piece. World Series winner: 20 points.

Individual awards still matter, so we're going to keep the All-star starter nominations, but, in further efforts to simplify, eliminate the triple crown categories and instead go with ranking the top three for each MVP/CY. Essentially, I'm just asking you to pick the best player at each position, and then the best three overall. I don't know how simpler I can make this without asking what color the laces are on the ball. (Red).

So please. Take the time this year. You've got 50 days until the first game. Put some thought into this, because I only have so much wall space to hang your tributes to my Baseball supremacy. And, maybe, just maybe, you can get lucky enough to sneak one past me.

Doubt it.

Word.

As For Me I'd Like To Thank My Lucky Stars That I'm Alive And Well

2011-02-03T11:08:00.003-07:00

I'm fixing to have some Panda Express with Mike, and I realized that I can't remember the last time I had Panda. Very excited about this development. Note: This will have very little organization. Sorry.

After spending a little over a month here in Utah, I'm really glad I made the decision to move out here, rather than stay in Florida. Yes, it is so cold that I have actually counted my fingers to make sure I still have ten. And yes, I do miss having playable golf courses 20 minutes away. But beyond that, every category indicates that I made the right decision. There are jobs here, there are friends here, there are girls here and there are sports here. And that may or may not be a prioritized list.

Most certainly though, the fact that there are job opportunities out here is at the top of the list. I am a man with expenses. I like things like a roof over my head, and food on my plate and an occasional fun dip or bag or tootsie rolls. High Maintenance? The highest. And you get what you pay for. I've been fortunate to field a couple of interviews so far, but nothing definite yet. Still waiting to hear back from one of the companies, so fingers are crossed. Personally, I expected to be hired by now (I know, shocker that I thought highly of my own abilities), but I kind of understand that some companies might be hesitant to take on a risk on me. I don't have the best work history, due in large part to pursuing medical school, and some people might think I can't handle their work load.

Pure rubbish. Either way, they make the decisions, I wait for them to do so. That is the game, and I must play.

On to things with less suck: Pitchers and Catchers report in 11 days! I know. Very exciting. Soon enough, I'll have to plan a trip down to Arizona for spring training, then BYU and UVU will open their seasons, then the Owlz and Bees, and then I'll make some pilgrimage to a pro ballpark. I can't think about it for too long, or I'll start pulling up calendars and schedules, checking to see when the optimal times are.

Also, I have landed a part-time teaching job with Kaplan. I'll be teaching their MCAT prep course starting this March. It's a two nights a week thing, so it's essentially some nice extra pay without interfering with my prospects for a full-time job or B-school. Speaking of B-school, got my GMAT scores back a little while ago, but I don't think I posted the results here. I did well. A 710 (92% percentile). Not as high as some of my practice scores, so I was a little disappointed, but not too much. It should be high enough to get me accepted, but after the med school fiasco, I have little faith in a test score's ability to offset anything.

What I am really excited for is the Super Bowl. Not the game really, but the party inherent to the game. Again, give me a reason to talk with people around a lot of food, and I'm going to take it 9 times out of 9. Throw in a sports event, and I'm all over it. So this is a great thing. To make it better, I'm thinking about having everyone come in and some friendly wagers. Not on anything as trivial as the winner of the game, point spread, or over/under, but on the important things like: What will Fergie wear during the half-time show? How long will Christina Aguilera's National Anthem be? How will the first touchdown be celebrated? You know. The stuff that really matters. I think I'm going to try and get a big poster board, list the wagers, and then print out head shots of the known guests and have then tape their picture on which sides of each line they want. Winner gets... a jar of salsa. Medium, not hot. I know, high stakes, but it is the super bowl. So, the handful of you people who both read this, and plan on showing up at my place for the super bowl, start pondering whether Ryan's commerical will be Dorito's 1st, 2nd, or 3rd of the night, or not shown at all. Weigh out whether Ben Roethlisberger's or Aaron Rodger's girlfriend will be shown on first. Try to figure out how many times the announcers will say "Brett Favre". There's a jar of dip on the line.

Word.

Never Let Your Praying Knees Get Lazy

2011-01-16T12:26:00.002-07:00

Gave a talk in church. Figured I'd get a little more of my spiritual on in this forum, so I'm just pasting it in here.

Do you have hope, or are you just hoping?

[Sacrament talk, 16-Jan-2011]

Growing up in Florida, I had the advantage of being able to play any sport at almost any time of the year. In fact, right now, the little league baseball season is starting up. Spring was always reserved for baseball, fall was for soccer, and summer was for avoiding heat stroke. Winter was a mythical season where, supposedly, trees lost their leaves, snow came from the heavens, and people wore scarves. None of those things ever made sense to me.

What did make sense, was playing outside, and playing sports. Didn’t matter what the game was, I wanted in. Take the ward activity this past Thursday. If my dazzling stick handling didn’t already tell you, that was my first time ever playing broom hockey. Bruises aside, it was a blast. Every time the ball came my way I hoped for two things, first, to hit the ball, and, second, to not fall down. Some times I got both. Sometimes only one of the two, and a couple times, the ball kept rolling on by as I rolled over on the ice. In my defense, Broom Hockey is not front page news in Florida. In fact, there’s only one ice rink in my county, and I think it closed down a couple years ago. What’s everyone else’s excuse?

Thankfully, the bruises were only skin deep. I’ve been fortunate throughout my life to never have anything worse than a couple of bruises here or there, in spite of my best efforts otherwise. My brother on the hand, he’s had more than his fair share of problems.

When we were young, we lived in a house that had a big grapefruit tree in the backyard. Just past that tree was the canal that we would go fishing or boating on. It wasn’t too wide, so we often would take the grapefruit that had fallen off the tree and had begun to rot, and try to throw them onto the vacant lots across the water. We weren’t big kids, so we really had to give it our all to make the throw.

One afternoon after school, my older sister and I were in the house watching TV when my mom asked us if we had seen our little brother. We hadn’t for a little while, so we starting looking around the house for him. It didn’t take long for us to realize something was wrong. My mom kept searching around the house, knowing that she would find him. Eventually, this hope led her to think about looking in the backyard. She ran out to the water’s edge to find my brother floating on his side. Seven months pregnant, she jumped into the canal while my seven year old sister called for an ambulance. Thankfully, my brother came around with no complications, and he, my mom, and future little sister, were all fine.

Now I bring these two stories up to illustrate the difference between the hope I had during broom hockey and the hope my mother had looking for my brother. The first hope was anything but a sure thing. I practically fell down my first step on the ice, so adding a swinging motion certainly wasn’t going to help my balance. The second type of hope was rooted in something much more substantial. My mother expected to find him, and surely she did.

The difference between these two hopes is the difference between how all too often the word hope is used today, and what the scriptures imply when they use the term. For example, when Aaron taught the Lamanite King, “If thou wilt repent of all thy sins, and will bow down before God, and call on his name in faith, believing that ye shall receive, then shalt thou receive the hope which thou desirest” (Alma 22:16), he wasn’t wishing for the King. He was telling the King that if you are repent and believe, you will get what you desire. Aaron removed all doubt from the equation. The hope in the scriptures is one devoid of doubt, and it is this way because of its foundation.

The common saying goes “hope springs eternal”. The only way for this to be true, is for hope to be based on something eternal. Brothers and sisters, this hope, true hope is always built upon the atonement of Jesus Christ. Pres Uchtdorf has said that “Hope is a gift of the Spirit. It is a hope that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power of His Resurrection, we shall be raised unto life eternal and this because of our faith in the Savior. This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and, as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives.”

In the same address, Pres. Uchtdorf delineates between things we hope for and things we hope in. He stated that we have hope for an eternal peace and everlasting progression in the life to come, so long as we are obedient to the commandments. He taught that we have hope in principles of the gospel that keep us pressing forward each day. Things like the goodness of our Heavenly Father, the assurance that prayers are heard and answered, and the blessings of the Holy Ghost are things that we have hope in. Despite their differences, both spring from a hope concerning the Savior.

It is His atonement that grants us the opportunity to receive the eternal peace promised to the faithful. It is through Him that we pray, and by His priesthood are our answers given. This hope, much like faith, is of things that can not be seen, but are nevertheless true. We can rely on it when times become hard, and when the road becomes dark.

“Thus,” as Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “real hope is much more than wishful musing. It stiffens, not slackens, the spiritual spine. It is composed, not giddy, eager without being naive, and pleasantly steady without being smug. Hope is realistic anticipation taking the form of determination—a determination not merely to survive but to ‘endure … well’ to the end.”

Moroni shows us how this anticipation can buoy us up even in dire circumstances. In Moroni chapter 7, he records the words of his father Mormon. Amidst a flight from the warring Lamanites, Moroni reviews his father’s teaching on hope, giving us a template on how a hope in the atonement can bless not just our lives, but the lives of those around us.

“Wherefore, I would speak unto you that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye shall rest with him in heaven.” (Moroni 7:3)

After watching his entire civilization pass away, Moroni was able to draw strength from his father’s hope and assurance in the power of the atonement. Much in the same way, we are able to look to our leader’s hope, and have our outlook brightened.

In October 2008, Pres. Uchtdorf shared a story concerning hope that teaches us that even in the dreariest situations, our hope can help us through.

“Toward the end of World War II, my father was drafted into the German army and sent to the western front, leaving my mother alone to care for our family. Though I was only three years old, I can still remember this time of fear and hunger. We lived in Czechoslovakia, and with every passing day, the war came nearer and the danger grew greater.

Finally, during the cold winter of 1944, my mother decided to flee to Germany, where her parents were living. She bundled us up and somehow managed to get us on one of the last refugee trains heading west. Traveling during that time was dangerous. Everywhere we went, the sound of explosions, the stressed faces, and ever-present hunger reminded us that we were in a war zone.

Along the way the train stopped occasionally to get supplies. One night during one of these stops, my mother hurried out of the train to search for some food for her four children. When she returned, to her great horror, the train and her children were gone!

She was weighed down with worry; desperate prayers filled her heart. She frantically searched the large and dark train station, urgently crisscrossing the numerous tracks while hoping against hope that the train had not already departed.

Perhaps I will never know all that went through my mother’s heart and mind on that black night as she searched through a grim railroad station for her lost children. That she was terrified, I have no doubt. I am certain it crossed her mind that if she did not find this train, she might never see her children again. I know with certainty: her faith overcame her fear, and her hope overcame her despair. She was not a woman who would sit and bemoan tragedy. She moved. She put her faith and hope into action.

And so she ran from track to track and from train to train until she finally found our train. It had been moved to a remote area of the station. There, at last, she found her children again.”

Brothers and sisters, by having a hope rooted in the atonement, we can have a bright hope for the future. We can with a surety hope that things will get better, in this world and the next. Hope in the gospel leads us to happiness, peace, and forgiveness. It was the prophet Moroni that taught, “Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God” (Ether 12:4)

That we all might strengthen our hope in the gospel, and see how that hope lightens our daily burdens is my humble prayer. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

[Sit Down]

Word.

I Guess I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing At All

2011-01-05T17:12:00.003-07:00

Recap of 2010 Resolutions:

Watch every episode of Jersey Shore and die laughing (Watched every episode, not all of them were great)
Consume my weight in granola bars every month (Some months yes, most no. Man can not live on Honey and Oat alone)
Eat at every restaurant on the island (If by every, you mean the handful that I frequented often, then sure)
Go to a gym (I did. And even ran. Twice. In a year. I'm a bit out of shape)
Acquire more random T-shirts (True, to the point I had to get rid of some to make luggage weight restrictions)
Be known as the king of something (Accomplished [King of Wii Fencing after I pioneered the "Windmill Attack"])
Review every class twice a week (Actually did this one. Pretty proud of myself about it actually)
Read the books I had on hand (Yes sir, except I haven't finished Pres Hinckley's Bio yet. It's very long and a bit dry)
Make better resolutions for next year...

All in all, I feel like a success looking back on the handful of goals I set out for myself. Some of you might bring up the fact that hardly any of those goals have any lasting impact or benefit. To those people I say...you're right. Beyond the reviewing and reading, they were all pointless. But they were still goals, and I still had to put in some effort to achieve each and every one of them. So we'll agree to disagree.

As for 2011, I see bright things in my future. Not so much the immediate future, but starting in a month or two, things are really going to start coming up Rick Russell. For this next month, it will be a deluge of essays and applications all over again for business school as well as preparing for the GMAT. If I'm not looking into jobs or going to the gym (more on that later) than there's a 90% chance I'm either sleeping or working on some sort of application. Nothing new, just another grind.

Now back to the gym. I've gone five times since Friday. That's more than the past 3 years combined (I can't know for sure, but I know I only went 3 times during the year and a half I was on the island, never for the year I was in Florida, I think I had already canceled my membership for the last semester I was at BYU, so it's certainly a safe assumption). Above all else, I realize just how far I've slipped. I hurt in all sorts of new muscles. Flexors on my shins scream at me. The levator scapulae are my sworn enemies after a couple laps swimming. And one set of chest flys provides enough radiant heat to render my jacket moot. Absurd. Nevertheless, I plan on riding this horse until it bucks me. Or until I have a job that forces me to change my workout schedule. I enjoy going at 7:15, when there is hardly anyone there to realize just how pitiful I am. Went the other day around 5:30... straight madhouse. There was a line just to be checked in. And I'm probably wrong, but I certainly felt like all of them were in better shape than I was. I prefer my failures private.

Other resolutions (yes I'm counting attending the gym more often as a resolution, and yes, I have already accomplished it) include:

Going on a date. It's been nearly a year and a half since I've been out on a one-on-one date. I have to imagine I'm rusty, and I know that I have little idea what is the social norm for someone in my current social stratum. Let's just hope dinner still works, because beyond that I would have no clue what to do.
Read the new books that I have. For Christmas, above all, I received clothes and books. I'm very pleased about this. It helps that I picked out all of said clothes and books, but that's not the point now is it.
Not get a speeding ticket. I figure it would be good to put down 12 consecutive months where I haven't had to sit through a defensive driving course. Check back in October to see if I succeeded. If I can get through September unscathed, I have a good chance.
Attend a Rockies game and one other team I haven't seen yet. The most likely other candidate, proximity-based, would be the Oakland Athletics. Any other team would have to be some stroke of luck and coincidence, like going to Milwaukee for the cheese festival and the Brewers happen to be in town. Either way, I've only got 11 teams left, and like Pokemon, I gotta catch 'em all.

So yeah, those are my goals for the next year. Additionally, I would like to secure a job within the next month, both as a mean of financial gain, and as a something in case B-school doesn't work out (which is a strong possibility given my rather light resume). Truth be told, if I found the right job, I have would have no problem postponing B-school for a year or even indefinitely. Right now, lot of possibilities are out there for me. I just hope some of them come through.

Word.

I Would Like To Think Our Paths Are Straight

2010-12-31T01:03:00.006-07:00

Maslov's hierarchy of needs lists achievement in the second to highest category, meaning that it the second thing that can be stripped away without any reparable damage being done. I'm skeptical on this. I like achieving goals and receiving awards (also in the 2nd to highest group). The only way I get things done is by challenging myself to do them, and then rewarding myself (usually with a 'take that' to the version of me that said I couldn't do it).

Because of this, I've decided to hand out a couple of awards concerning the Florida-to-Utah cross country trip I just finished. Some are good, some are bad, but all are deserving.

Most impressive state: Oklahoma. I know what your thinking. How on earth could Oklahoma be considered impressive. Here's how. For starters, the speed limit is 75 all the way through. It's like they realized that anyone driving in their state, is merely driving through their state and would like to do so as quickly as possible. Additionally, for the first time ever, an office let me off with a warning instead of writing a ticket. I was something along the lines of 9 for 9 before that (wow, that sounds like a lot of tickets. In my defense, I spread them out fairly evenly). Granted, I was only going about 82 in the 75, so I wasn't exactly a menace to the other drivers, but I was nevertheless stunned to be let go without having to pay any money or sit through yet another defensive driving course. New Mexico was in the running because of the their 75 mph speed limit, but the weather got rough as I was exiting there, and that really cost them.

Least impressive state: Arizona. Horrible weather across the entire state. The worst part was that I chose the path through Arizona because I though it would help me avoid horrible weather. Could not have been more wrong. Snow dumped all through the night and into the next afternoon. Major highways were closed. Traffic was slowed to a grind, if not completely stopped. And to top it all off, at one point, the car behind me caught some ice, over-corrected, went across the entire road and rolled onto it's side, just off the road. You want to know what bring your senses to full attention? Watching the car behind you suddenly wind up with it's wheels in the air.

Most valuable organ: Bladder. Came through like a champ, eliminating any extra stops.

Least valuable organ: Nerves. Specifically, the ones that remind me just how cold it was every time I had to fill up for gas. You might hear me complain about the cold for a while. I know I brought this on myself, but when you spend the past 365 days with the weather being under 75 degree for only 5 of those days, you lose your grip on how 15 degrees feels. Now, I'm just losing feeling in my grip.

Most desperate restaurant: 72 ouncer. There's a restaurant (I don't know it's name because they never advertised it) in Amarillo, TX, that has the classic eat-this-massive-steak-and-it's-free gimmick. You can't miss it because they start advertising along I-40 in Arkansas. Two state away, and they're tossing up billboards. Did I think about pulling in? Yes. Did I think about trying to tackle that beast? Not for long. I've eaten a 32 ouncer in one sitting. It's a lot of meat. I couldn't imagine eating two of them and then chasing it with an 8 oz slab. That is a gustatory feat I hope to never be able to accomplish.

Favorite part of the car (non-Ma Lady division): Seat warmer. Do they make couches that can do that? I'd buy one today.

Least favorite part of the car: Layer of filth. Oh my goodness. I just washed and waxed the thing before I left, and now it's a wreck. I'm a little embarrassed to introduce it to my friends. It's like I have one of those girlfriends who demands to put makeup on in the morning, only today my friends, who haven't met her yet, are coming over early. They can tell she has a nice body, but then they take a closer look and it's just a disaster. I still love her though, but it's not putting her best foot forward. (Side note- Don't really want one of those types of girlfriends, but I thought the analogy was fitting.)

Best support: The Gordens. They were more or less on the way, and when you haven't even met your friend's 2.5 year old son, nor his couple month old daughter, you better make a stop. So they let me stay at their house (It's beautiful, by the way) and hang out with them and their kids for a day. That experience taught me two things about having little kids: First, they make you feel alive. Watching them, you get to vicariously experience things for the first time. Everything is amazing. Everything is borderline magical. Water fountains are the coolest things in the world and the promise of a cookie can resolve any pain or discomfort.

The other thing I learned was that they make you feel exhausted. I spent one day. I kid you not, I thought it was three by the time I went to bed. It was fun while it was going on, but the second it stopped, I was looking for a pillow. Doing that everyday? Kudos to all the parents out there. I'm sure I could do it, but you definitely get a boost by it being your own child.

Had a blast with them, and they sent me on my way with some tootsie rolls. Really can't ask for much more than that.

Best technological advancement since last cross country trip: Smart Phone. Check emails in the middle of Texas? Of course. Research hotels while cruising through New Mexico? Done. Listen to Pandora when the only radio station is some financial news (Like anyone in Central Oklahoma was interested in how the stock market was doing?)? Easy Kapeezy. When I got back to the states, I wasn't sure if I wanted to get one. Now I'm very glad I did.

Word.

I'll Be Waiting Here, Santa That's My Only Wish This Year

2010-12-13T21:38:00.001-07:00

There are too many people asking me what I want for Christmas. Between all the celeb-utantes, athletes, starlets and congressman, my voice mailbox is stuffed with pleas requesting guidance as to what they should give me. So, I figured I'd make it easy and just publish the list. I thought about registering somewhere, but the only store here is ACE Hardware. Not to besmirch ACE, but not even they carry everything on my list.

So, to make things simpler for everyone, especially me so I don't have to tell everyone individually, here is the list of things that you could and should get me for Christmas:

1) Some ownership in Half.com and/or Betterworldbooks.com. I have what must be described as unhealthy addiction to the healthy activity of reading, and between those two websites have pushed my personal library to new levels. It's at the point where I have to leave over a dozen books behind on the rock, while taking about as many back home. I simply don't have the luggage room. Oh, and to get myself established in Utah, I already have a shipment of five books on their way. Yep, I buy them 5 at a time. You don't?

2) An express lane from Florida to Utah. It only needs to be up for about a week, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. It'll be like the secret path that only StoneCutters were allowed to drive on. It's a pretty long trip, and I'm willing to bet there will be snow on parts, so an express lane that is free of other cars and poor road conditions would be nice of you all. I figure since it's little bigger, two people can go in together on this.

3) A 5k time under 30 minutes. Right now, I'd be lucky to keep it under 40, but that's ridiculous considering my age and my self-image. I know that if I went running today, I wouldn't make a mile without stopping. But I also know that tomorrow I could go sub 8 minutes. (I know because I used to always run to D'Angelo's 'Untitled which runs a little over 7 minutes, and I would finish the mile a couple seconds into the next track. And usually on the second day of any sort of regiment, I could make that happen.) Now, I'm not the smartest, but I know that even a 9-min mile will get your 5k time under 30. I just need someone to remind me that when I'm out running one. Rex Lee Run, I'm looking at you.

4) A Baseball/softball championship. It's no secret my love for Baseball runs deeper than the Mariana Trench. Now that I'm coming back to the states, I look forward to city rec leagues, especially ones that don't have former AAA talent playing in them. Come spring, I'll be on at least one team. What I also plan on looking into is being involved one way or another with the local Little League program. I spent 8 seasons from 1st-8th grade playing in the local little league back home. I just assumed that's what everyone did growing up. Why wouldn't they? Turns out, there are thousands of boys in Utah who never play little league Baseball. Blew my mind. In fact, I don't know one person who grew up in Utah and actually played in little league ball. It hurts my soul to know this is going on. So, I'm going to see what type of time commitment they're looking for, and see if I can be of some service to them. I've been tracking this game for over 20 years. I have a lot to share.

5) Tootsie Rolls. Of course.

Word

Famous, Everybody Wanna Be Famous

2010-12-06T19:16:00.000-07:00

This wasn't my intended goal when I titled the blog "Can't Be Any Geek Off The Street", but needless to say, I'm very proud of it. Go to any major search engine and type in that phrase. It's going to be within the top 3 results. You don't even need the whole thing, just "Can't Be Any Geek" Of course, if you string any four unique words in a line, chances are there are only a couple of hits no matter what the words are, but I picked one of the iconic songs of the mid-nineties, which stole it from a somewhat popular movie. You would assume there would be more relevant references on the entire internet, but you would be wrong. This little blog of three years now has eclipsed both Warren G (Feat- Nate Dogg)'s legendary mid-90s track "Regulators", as well as the movie "Young Guns', where the quote originally came from.

Conversely, typing in my name gets you nowhere near the actual me. The closest I get is using google, and if you type in "Rick Russell Satellite Beach Diving 2000", it shows the results from Florida's 2A state diving meet where I finished 10th (Yeah, I used to be pretty dang good at that. Now, I'm probably just better than you and can impress people who aren't well versed in how to score a dive. It's weird how fine tuned skills atrophy when they're not used.) That's right. It takes more words to find any article about me, as opposed to one from me. And it's not even an article. It's one line, from a results sheet, of a high school event, 10 years ago.

The Internet. If you don't make a name for yourself, no one will do it for you.

Word.

Under The Sea

2010-11-26T11:17:00.004-07:00

So, this will be the shortest post ever, but I watched 'Taken' the other day, and all I could think was:

This is how 'The Little Mermaid' happens in real life. When one of my daughter's friends shows her 'The Little Mermaid', I'm showing her 'Taken'. Why? Because sometimes, Daddy does actually know better.

I Could Be Chasin' But My Time Would Be Wasted

2010-11-25T09:38:00.004-07:00

Yeah, midterms are in 10 days and finals a week after that, but it's Thanksgiving, and I've got to do laundry, so I figured why not put a list of the things I'm thankful for. Now, this is not the obvious list of things like family, friends, gospel, tootsie rolls, roof over my head and freedom. Not to say I don't appreciate those things, but this is the list of things that make me think 'Oh yeah, this is why my life is awesome' on an hourly basis.

Peach fruit snacks by Haribo. Or basically anything by Haribo. Grab yourself a bag. And then, go onto Amazon.com and realize that you can sign up to have a 5 lb bag delivered every month. Almost pulled the trigger twice already.

Sunglasses. I wasn't sold on them until I moved to Arizona 2+ years ago, but now...well, I almost had them Fedex-ed down to my island when I left them at home after a break. (Side note- I still don't like talking to people while wearing them. Most of my non-verbal clues are eye-related, and the sunglasses obscure that.)

Chris Farley. To know him is to love him, and to love him is to miss him.

Books. Maybe it's because I live in a place that does not have a walmart* $5 bin, or a Blockbuster 4 for 20 deal, but this past year I can firmly say that I spent more on books than DVD's. And that's not including text books, just pure reading for pleasure. My dilemma now is that when I move back to the States, I'll know that I can read books for free at the library, but I really like having them on a shelf. What's the tipping point where I say, that's too much money to own, I'll just read it from the library? I don't know. I mean, if it's a dollar or two, that's worth just to not worry about late fees, but beyond that...

CMT. There are about 10 radio stations here that are at least in part English. None of them are country stations. I'm not the type of guy who needs only country, but I need me some country. CMT, bless their hearts, roll non-stop videos for the bulk of the day. It's fantastic. I get home from class, watch a replay of SportsCenter and then turn the channel to CMT and let their smooth sounds carry me through my studies for a bit.

The Spring of 2006. Why? Simple. This guy:

He taught me that I should never try to grow out a mustache again. Ever. (Side note- that dude has two more NBA championship rings than Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, Steve Nash and Dwight Howard combined. He can clap with the best of them.)

Barney Stinson. I only met this guy within the past year, but I can tell you that he is fantastic.

Baseball.

Word.

Word. (Yes, I'm thankful for 'Word.')

It's Call It In the Air, Alright Yes Sir We Want The Ball

2010-11-13T19:27:00.002-07:00

I couldn't sleep the other night, so I got to thinking. One thing led to another, and I wound up on college football. Now I'm watching college football (UF vs South Carolina) which led me to another thought on the sport, but we'll get to that in a second.

First, I was thinking about how Boise State has no chance at the national championship game. I want to say they do, but they really don't. Which is a shame, because I think they're the best team in college football, and if you watch them play, you'll be hard-pressed to disagree. Regardless, they're not making the big game.

So I tried to figure out a way to give them a chance. Now, I can't be the first person to come up with this, because, well, it's too simple. But if I am, I want it to be known as the 'Russell plan' for determining the national championship. Here's how it works:

The first part is that the college landscape is carved into 10 conferences with 12 teams a piece (Conveniently, there is currently exactly 120 teams). Each conference is split into 2 divisions and holds a conference championship game. These champions then enter the playoff brackets. The six current AQ conferences, will receive first-round byes and will rotate the top six seeds every year. The other four conferences, some conglomeration of the Mountain West, WAC, Sun Belt, C-USA and MAC, will play in two elimination games, with the winners joining the AQ 6 to form an eight team bracket. Then it takes three wins to become the national champion.

This clearly adds a couple games to the schedule, so the regular season will be shortened to 11 games. So, for an AQ school to win the crystal football, they will have played 15 total games, just one more than if they came from a current AQ conference with a conference championship game. Or 10 games to make it the same amount as it currently is. Either works. You figure each team plays the other five teams in their division, and then 2 matchups across the division (with a possibility for one of them to be a protected rivalry matchup). This leaves 3-4 open dates for the team to schedule at will. Which is about as many as most teams have now.

The first round of playoffs (the non-AQ conferences) will play out in two bowl games the weekend before Christmas. Preferably bowl games that are already prestigious, but it's not that important. Quarterfinals the weekend after Christmas (with two of the games being current BCS bowls, given to the #1 and #2 seeds, and the other two of respectable prestige like the Cotton bowl). Semifinals the weekend after that (the other two BCS bowls) and the National championship the weekend after that, which would roughly be Jan 8 like it is now.

I know. It's too simple. But hey, it makes sense, and just might fly.

The thought I had while watching the South Carolina Gamecocks pick apart the Gators was that Urban Meyer is over-rated. Substantially over-rated. His win-loss record is outstanding and he does have a pair of national championships on the mantle. Impressive stuff. But most of those accomplishments have been because of the personnel he walked into. He showed up at Utah after Alex Smith was known to have a quality arm. Meyer never coached a team of his own recruits in SLC. He went to Florida in 2005, and was greeted by a team overflowing with talent and a veteran QB, again. To his credit, he did sign Tim Tebow. And that Tebow guy has to be considered one of the best college football players ever. Like, top 3 status. So, you do have to give Meyer some credit for bringing that guy onto the Gainesville campus. But how much of Tebow's character or ability do you think was a result of Meyer's coaching? I wasn't there in training camp, but I'm betting not a lot.

Now Tebow is gone, and for the first time, Meyer is without a veteran star on his team. And he's struggling. Well, struggling by Gator standards. After tonight, he'll have lost his third straight home game. That's struggling for just about any program. So yeah, I think Urban Meyer is over-rated. He can turn a talented team into a title contender, but he can't foster a championship program over multiple recruiting classes.

Maybe if this Brantley fellow turns things around next year, I'll have to re-evaluate, but as it stands, I'll say that more than anything, Meyer's success can be attributed to his ability to evaluate a team's talent, and then move to a team that has a lot of it.

Word.

Baby, Baby, Baby I'm Gonna Leave You, I Said Baby, You Know I'm Gonna Leave You

2010-11-08T13:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I've waited long enough I guess. I wanted to make sure I told my parents and classmates before I went completely public with this. Mike's known about the possibility of it for about a couple months.

After this semester, I'm leaving medical school.

While I'm not thrilled about it (and the incumbent financial issues), it's what I feel is best in the long run. There are several reasons why, but I'll give you the three biggest, in no particular order.

First, after spending this much time on the inside of the medical establishment, I've gotten a much better look at how things are. And I have to say, they don't look good. I still love the field, and the idea of it, but the passion to become it has faded as the reality of what it entails has set in. And with the way things are going politically, it appears to only get worse. Now, I'm not saying that the political moves were wrong, I'm just saying they're wrong for me in particular. Essentially, they make doctors glorified mechanics, but with worse hours. I don't think the demands, nor the compensation are going to get better any time soon, and I'd rather not live that way.

Secondly, I'm having to put everything I have into studying, and still struggling to be middle of the pack. I don't ever want to be known as "struggling to be middle of the pack", especially in my profession. That's just unacceptable to me. I believe I've got it in me to be the best, or at least among the best, and if my best efforts aren't landing me there, then maybe I should not be trying to get there. To go along with this, I decided to set a standards bar for my classes this term. If I gave it my all, and couldn't get A's, then it was time to look elsewhere. Not to be a knock to my classmates, but I don't think they're so much smarter than me that I can't achieve what they can. After two months of busting it, I can tell you I'm not going to be getting A's. I've run the numbers, and it's just not there.

Thirdly, I may be the last to recognize this, but maybe I never was supposed to become a doctor at all. I'm not saying I'm not capable, because, well, I am. But if I was supposed to become one, the path wouldn't have been as rough as it has been. When you score in the top 5% of the national entrance exam, but get turned down by 100% of the national schools (twice), something's not adding up. When you try to get experience by working as a paramedic or a CNA, and neither work out, maybe you're not supposed to be a health professional.

So, yeah. I've had to let this dream go. I've spent the past ten years wanting to be a doctor, pushing against and through every wall, and making it all the way to medical school, but enough is enough. It's just not for me. I'm for it, but it's just not for me.

In December, I'll pack up and fly home for good. I'll spend Christmas there, and start moving on. The plan is to go to Utah and land a job in the financial sector, with aspirations possibly towards an MBA, but we'll see when we get there. I do, or at least did, well with business matters and feel that I can both excel and provide for myself and family in that arena. To be perfectly honest, I'm not trying to focus too much on it because I still have to get through this semester. I'll finish out these classes, and leave as a student in good standing, academically and otherwise. While I will be sad to say goodbye to all the friends I've made out here, I've got to do what's best for me in the long run.

I sure hope this is it.

Word.

Cause I Want It All Or Nothing At All

2010-11-02T09:36:00.001-06:00

Reading my friends' blogs, it's always feast or famine. Either I get a new post, or I have to continue starving. Today, I got all sorts of excited. I was going from friend's blog to friend's blog and was stoked to continually see that people had put in updates over the past day. Usually they come spaced out about once or twice a week, so this was an exceptional treat to have so many all at once. Now, maybe I'm a little slow, but it wasn't until about the third picture of someone's child dressed up as a pirate or a giraffe or a ladybug that I realized why every friend that I have who has spawned was wanton to post something.

That old Halloween sneaking up again. For the most part, I enjoy holidays. Big fan of Christmas and Thanksgiving. What's not to love about days revolving around large meals and taking the entire day off to do nothing besides eat those meals, and talk about other great meals? You give me a reason to sit down in front of food, and I'm your best friend. Here on the rock I take the missionaries out to dinner about once a month, not necessarily because I feel like I'm doing a good deed, but mostly because it gives me a legit reason to sit down to a nice steak dinner. (Side note: Here, they don't take a dinner break. Not kidding. They just take their lunch around noon, and work until 9:30. Blew my mind. And now I know why I wasn't called to this part of the world.)

Which brings me to Halloween. I struggle with this holiday as an adult. It's not a big meal type of holiday, it's more of the appetizers and dip type of holiday. Not that that's a bad thing, but it does knock it down a peg in the holiday totem pole. The other issue I have with it is dressing up. If you know anything about me, it's that I rarely do anything half-way. It's my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. So, if I'm supposed to dress up on Halloween, I either want an outstanding outfit, or nothing at all. I'm not the guy who shows up wearing cleats and a polo shirt and says he's a rugby player. I don't wear a red shirt and grab a plastic pitch fork and say I'm the devil.

I join three other friends, buy suits and sweater vests, wigs and glasses, and memorize catch phrases so we can recreate the Channel 4 News Team from Anchorman (I was Brick Tamblin, and I think I ate your chocolate squirrel). I do grow out a beard, cake it and my hair with flour, and make three dozen cardboard medallions so I can go as Alfred Nobel (It was right after Obama won the Peace Prize after being in office for a couple months. I figured since the actual committee had decided to hand them out willy-nilly style, I would help them out). I swing from the heels my friends, and sometimes I connect.

However, if I can't come up with a solid idea, I don't dress up. At all. This Halloween was that situation. I only had one decent costume idea, and it was to go as a WWE wrestler. I mean, when you already have a championship belt, the costume doesn't take much more. But again, if I was going to do it, we were going all out, and yes, I'm purposefully using the phrase "all out" to describe a wrestling costume. I'm talking black boots, black knee pads and a black speedo. That's it. And if I had the speedo, I just might have done it (Your retinas just sighed, relieved that there won't be pictures of said outfit). But I don't. So instead, I just put on a nice shirt and jeans, and went out for the night.

And you know something, Halloween was just as much fun not dressed up as it was dressed up. I knew this in fourth grade when I figured out that as long as you wear a baseball cap and a glove, people will still give you the candy. You didn't have to put on a Spiderman leotard and layout a mascara spiderweb on your face. Just put two items together and watch the bag fill. (Side note: Reading from Jake and Holli about how Carder went to town eating his candy and it reminded me about how cruel/genius my parents were with this scenario. They'd let us eat as much as we could that night. Never went to the point of a refund, but many years felt that it would be a relief if I had. The next day, we were allowed to pick 30 pieces to keep. That's it. Toughest draft ever. The rest went into a huge bowl and was taken into my Dad's office. That one act single handedly staved off diabetes.)

Somehow I forgot that no one really cares whether you made a working Optimus Prime costume that actually transforms, or just put on a flannel shirt, messed up your hair and carried your loot bag on a stick. I'll never know how I forgot that, but I remember that lesson now. So next Halloween, you can expect one of two things from me. You'll either get the best costume in the room, or no costume at all. Feast or famine.

Word.

Talking About What It Might Have Been, Thinking About What It Used To Be

2010-10-27T10:25:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I started writing a bucket list the other day. I got about ten items deep, and thought, 'this is boring for me to read, and I'm the one who is actually going to do these things.' Now, instead of a bucket list, I'm going to make the list of things I don't think I'll ever do before I die. (Aborted bucket list included at the end)

Beyond the obvious ones (be convicted of anything requiring jail time), I feel like I have a decent list of things that I plan to never do. So, in no particular order, I plan to never:

Watch Avatar or Zoolander. Avatar because I hear it's all about how stunning the visuals are. That's not enough to draw me in for 2+ hours. The Zoolander abstinence started out as a promise to a friend's mom, but now I don't think I'll watch it for two big reasons: 1) everyone has already told me all the truly funny parts, and 2) why bother with it? Made it this far and my life's been pretty good. I don't think learning about the less than funny parts will make it any better.

Pass on dessert. I will however decline seconds on dessert. Sometimes. Rarely.

Watch 'Lost'. Ship sailed on that one a long time ago.

Buy another hat to wear. As a souvenir or for a team I will, but I have two that I like to wear. One's light, one's dark. I don't see a need for a third.

Purchase a set of cleats. I just bought a pair about year ago. Fact: My shoe size isn't going to change in the next 25-30 years. Fact: After that time, I don't think I'll be playing things that require cleats.

Get in a sun-tanning bed. I've talked about this. I'm 0 for 10 in positive experiences with these things.

Join Twitter. Too much pressure to be witty every hour on the hour, not to mention the entire twitter-language that I would have to learn. Plus, I do enough following with Facebook and other blogs.

Read 'Harry Potter'. See 'Lost', although I'm not sure which one would actually take more time.

Perform the Macarena or any other line dance aside from the Electric Slide. Can't let that one go.

Climb a mountain. No thanks. Requires a bit too much prep work, not enough return. Maybe hike to the Y, considering you can drive half the way.

It's so played out, it's ridiculous, but for kicks and giggles, and I'm going to put out a bucket list. The scariest part of all this is that if I actually put it down, the odds of me doing it move to about 92%.

Attend a game in every baseball stadium. Ideally, I'd go on the dream summer road trip of 30 stadiums in 30 days, but that window is closing fast.

Spend a week in Greece. I've never seen an ugly photo from this country, and the history there is bar-none.

Bungee jump. Would go tomorrow if anyone else wants to come. Just don't want to do it by myself.

Write a book. Easily, the hardest of all the things on this list, mostly because I would never think it was complete.

Learn the piano. If 7 year olds can play it, I think I should be able to figure it out. I'm not talking concert pianist level here, but I want to be able to knock out the majority of the hymns. That, and understand why I need three foot pedals. I know one makes the notes longer, but I can't figure out why I would need 2 more?

Throw out the first pitch at a professional baseball game. I will be bringing the heat, from the slab.

Visit Oregon, Michigan, Maine, North Dakota, South Dakota, Rhode Island and Alaska, otherwise known as the only states I'm yet to visit. Out of all of them, the lowest percentage shot has to be Oregon. The only sports team they have is the Trailblazers, and I don't really care about basketball. It's tucked in a corner, so I would almost have to make a trip solely to go there. Slim odds.

Word.

We Can Dance Until We Die, You And I, We'll Be Young Forever

2010-10-15T14:43:00.003-06:00

Have I said how much I love a good analogy? I love them so much, I often have to pause just so I don't speak completely in them. If pressed, I think I could go three days where at least one out of every three sentences was a metaphor, simile, or part of an anecdotal analogy. And the more rustic the better.

Jared also is a big fan of the metaphor. One time him and I went to eat at Tucanos. If you're unfamiliar with the place, or Brazilian grills in general, then go out at night and pick out a star. It will stop shining because of you. Essentially, they have people bringing you delicious meats on skewers, non-stop. My salivary glands are producing as well. Well, after gorging ourselves, we were walking around trying to remember a fitting metaphor. When we couldn't come up with one, we called his mom. It should be noted his mother was born and raised, and still currently resides in Arkansas. Jared asks her "If you just had a big meal and wanted to say you were full, you would say you're fuller than..." and without a moment's hesitation, she's finishes with "a tic." As though it was the only answer.

These are the lengths I'm willing to go to find a good analogy. So, I was making some brownies today (you ask 'why', I ask 'why not') and before putting the bowl in the sink, I took a long drag with my finger and licked the batter. Even caught a walnut (of course I put walnuts in my brownies). You want to know the first saying that came to mind while enjoying that sweet delight, 'Old bird-dog can still hunt'.

Which got me thinking. What are some of those critical things that I refuse to let go by the wayside? I mean, by all accounts, I have no business licking un-cooked batter. I know what's in it and I certainly know the hazards implied. Doesn't stop me. Doesn't even slow me. It's one of those primal kid-like reflexes that I have managed to retain. Of course, I went on to think of other things that maybe I should have stopped doing, but have no desire to. Here they are:

Lick cake/brownie/cookie batter from the bowl
Play that crane game in the walmart* entrance
Read comic strips like 'Zits' even though I'm probably closer to the parent's age, than the kid's
Eat ice cream out of a mini baseball helmet (or dippin dots. Marty brought them back from the future)
Buy a pack of baseball cards. Still do it at least once a year
Play with anything involving a remote control that isn't a TV
Cannonball into a pool (I think I'm actually getting worse)
Try out the baseball speed gun at ballgames
Consider 3-4 donuts and a glass of milk a well-balanced breakfast (or lunch)
Turn the radio up when Amy Grant or Paula Abdul come on
Watch 'Boy Meets World' (just watched the one where Topenga moves to Pittsburgh. It got a little misty around here)
Use the term 'Dude'
Walk down the 'Hot Wheel' aisle, and imagine massive track sets designed to launch the car
Wear black every August 12 (If you don't know why, type 'MLB August 12, 1994' into Google)

In my defense, this list is much shorter than the one I probably could have made two years ago.

Word.

I Dreamt I Was Dreaming I Was Wired To A Clock

2010-10-09T14:01:00.002-06:00

10-2, 10-2, 10-2, and 10-2. Those are the regular season records for BYU during the last four seasons. And I'm genuinely afraid we might match those combined eight losses, just this season. We're already at 4, and with TCU and Utah still to play (on the road for both, might I add), that makes 6. Scary isn't it?

What's more scary is that any loss beyond those two disqualifies us for a bowl game. We've made a bowl game every year since 2004, the last of the Gary Crowton years. By the way, since the mission essentially blacked out the 2002 and 2003 seasons for me, I always felt like the BYU faithful turned on him awfully quick. For me, he went 12-1 his first season and everyone loved him. Everyone? Everyone. There were the stories about how he was really gearing the guys up, how he was making the team more unified than ever, how he had the complete respect and trust of all the players. Things looked great. And then next thing I knew he went 5-6 (Who schedules 11 games) and everyone (everyone? Yes, everyone) can't wait to can this guy. Even my friends who had missed the same seasons I had, suddenly thought this guy was at best, on par with a three-year-old. It never made a lot of sense to me. Looking at it historically, I understand why he was canned. You take a program that historically at least makes bowl games and often wins their division, but instead you miss bowl games three out of four years, with the only bowl game being your first year? Yeah, they'll be calling for your head. I understand that. I just never understood why there was so much venom behind it.

What scares me is, what if Jake Heaps isn't the 'next McMahon', and what if Riley Nelson isn't the same after his injury heals? Could the fanbase turn on Bronco? Could all the things that now make people talk about him in Parsegian-esque reverence, become viewed as foibles and weaknesses? I like Bronco. I think he's a fine coach that is facing a tough season from injuries and unforeseen complications (Unga, I'm shaking my head in your direction). The firing of the D-coordinator after last week's loss, while not unjustified, could certainly be viewed as Bronco trying to show that he'll do anything to stay above the fray. The departed claims to be a scapegoat, and I'll co-sign that. He as cut loose after a fourth straight loss. But why not the Offensive coordinator? The Cougs are currently 114th in scoring. There are only 120 teams. While their defense is not spectacular, it is noticeably better (88th). I don't have any solid theories on this, but it does seem interesting.

Either way, I'll be watching the game today. I'll track down some online feed and stream it onto my tiny rock. And if they win, I'll do it again next week. But the second they become bowl-ineligible, that's when I switch to radio only. Except, of course, against Utah. I clear my schedule for two games each year. BYU-Utah and Miami-FSU. And tonight is Miami-FSU. So if you need me tonight, make sure to call me before 8pm. Or be prepared to wait until 11:30.

Word.

And This Is The Moment That I Live For I Can Smell The Ocean Air

2010-10-06T11:39:00.003-06:00

There are only so many truly great days a year. Most of them are known a long ways off. I know that every Christmas is going to be fantastic. Any day associated with bite-sized desserts being consumed all day long, relaxing around the house and catching up with family and friends is going to be a very good day. And you can't say enough about a tootsie roll bank.

But today is one that just kind of happened. Among my passions, baseball is far away the chiefest (I guess that really is a word). If you don't know this by now, then I'm genuinely surprised you know how to read. This season was an up and down affair for my beloved White Sox. We started out slow, caught fire right around the all-star break, and then fizzled out as our bats and bullpen failed us. We still had hope with three weeks left, but then we decided to lose 9 straight. Can't really bounce back from that. On the brightside, if you would have told me in April that we would finish with 88 wins, I would have taken it. I also would have assumed that would have been enough to win the AL Central, but this year it wasn't.

Which brings us to one of the reasons why this is a most splendid day. Today starts baseball playoffs. The best of the best, where every game counts. I love it. Every year I look forward to October, primarily for this reason, and this year seems to be excellent. So many great storyline for this year. The Yankees, not only trying to repeat, but to get one for their belated GM Steinbrenner and 'the voice of God' Bob Sheperd, who both passed away earlier this season. The Rays, trying to show that you don't need a 9 figure payroll to win it all. The Rangers, the only team left without a playoff series victory, trying to make a name for themselves. The Twins, pressing forward without former MVP Morneau, proving to their fans that their tax dollars are not being wasted on the new stadium. The Giants, making their first trip back to post-season play since 2003. The Reds, with an even longer stretch of futility, but sporting the most valuable player in Joey Votto and the most electrifying in Aroldis Chapman (105.1 mph? That's insane). The Phillies, fighting to remain among the elite.

But all of those pale in comparison to the Braves. Bobby Cox's boys gave him a gift by grabbing the last playoff spot on the last day of his last season. Now he gets one last shot at the big tamale. His team is spearheaded by youngsters and rookies, and might just have enough momentum to go deep into the month. I'm usually not one to encourage rooting for the Braves because I feel they're partnership with TBS created an unnaturally large fan base. But this year, if you don't already have a horse in this race, feel free to back the Atlanta nine.

Beyond the playoffs though, today starts one of my other passions. The dawning of a new season of MTV Challenges. This year's is a new variant: Cutthroat. Sounds pretty impressive. Personally, they could have named it the mud and I would still watch it tenaciously. And if you aren't watching these shows, then you truly are missing out on one of life's great joys. Hard-core athletic competition, high drama all the time, and beautiful people everywhere. What's not to like? And they're bringing back Chet, the Mormon. He's marginally stronger than the strongest girls, but that doesn't mean I'm pulling for him. I don't think he'll win, unless his team is stacked, but here's to hoping.

Lastly, today is amazing because it's my good friend Raechel's birthday. Congrats. Sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you.

Word.

My Life Gets Kind Of Boring Need Something That I Can Confess

2010-09-04T09:29:00.004-06:00

Go a week without seeing the sun.
Think I should let my hair grow out.
Buy a Celine Dion album.
Turn down a dessert.

Those are a few things on my list of: Things I'll never do again. It's not necessarily a Murtaugh list, because I'm not banning them due to old age. I'm banning them because they're just horrible ideas. And now, you can add "Go to a tanning salon" to this list. I visited one of these establishments while I was in Utah. The reasons were obvious. Despite living in the Caribbean, no one short of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow or the Michelin Man were rivaling me in pasty-whiteness. And it wasn't even like I had a farmers tan. I was ghostly from head to toe. On top of this, I knew there was a boating excursion on the weekend, so I figured I should at least put forth an effort to look like I lived in a place where a beach was no farther than 15 minutes away at any point.

So I went to the tanning salon one afternoon. I had been before and remembered that at least once I got a mild sunburn so this time I was just going to do whatever the girl behind the counter said first-timers did. Why I believed that this girl who had been working for only a couple weeks, and really only had to know the subtle differences between the four different types of beds (Who knew they were 4 types? Why is suntan bed research getting funded?) and possibly the lotions prominently displayed, would know the precise service to maximize my results, I'll never know. But I figured whatever her experience was, it was more than mine. So she tells me that for the best returns, the first timers take 7 minutes in the "Ultra" bed. Now, I liked the idea of the Ultra bed because it reminded me of Fleer Ultra baseball cards, which were the coolest when they first came out. I told the girl that that sounds like a plan. She asked if I knew how to use the bed.

Now, I should tell you that the last time I used a tanning bed was a couple years ago. back then, they were simple. You laid down and closed the lid. That's it. This thing felt more like a video game. I had speakers playing radio stations, and could even have plugged in an iPod if I brought it. I had buttons controlling fan speeds. There were different bulbs just for my face, a voice command telling me about the bed, and the plastic was extra wide and ergonomically contoured. I felt like this was the bed that Judy Jetson will likely use to maintain her color. It did everything but ask me if I had been working out lately. (No, I hadn't. However, I have started. No lie.)

I rode out the seven minutes, having cool breezes keeping my brow only slightly damp, while Kenny Chesney told me about the boys of fall. It wasn't bad at all. I still hate those stupid eye things because they feel ridiculous and uncomfortable, but beyond that, a pleasurable experience. Then the next day came. And the sunburn was there. For unknown reasons, only on my left side, but from torso to thigh, I was pink. Not pleased. Thankfully, it wasn't so bad that I was non-functional. But it was a nuisance I had to deal with for the next couple days. Growing up in Florida, getting sunburned was almost a summer tradition. But over the years, I like to think I've gotten smarter and have begun installing impediments. And then I go and do something like this.

Never again. Never.

Word.

What I've Got's Full Stock Of Thoughts And Dreams That Scatter

2010-08-30T16:06:00.003-06:00

You want to know what store is amazing? The Apple Store. Not even kidding with you. I spent about an hour or so there today, and it was quite the experience. Outside of Black Friday sales, I have never witnessed the scene I saw walking into the Salt Lake City Apple Store, on a random Monday, at 2pm. For starters, the place is visually impressive. Even though there were dozens of computers and devices on display, with most of them being used, the layout was not oppressive and the crowds were not a hindrance. And despite the fact that nearly everybody in the store was talking at the same time, I could still hear Hall and Oates's classic 'You Make My Dreams Come True' over the speaker system. I can not speak highly enough about this. The staff were plentiful and seemed to be razor sharp. To the point that I honestly believe that none of them really learned on the job. I had the chance to watch at least a dozen people come in with problems, concerns and questions, and at point was any staff member flustered or confounded. Everything was smooth and with a smile. I almost bought an iPad just to reward them on being so great. (Well, that, and the fact that iPad is amazingly cool, but I just can't justify the cost right now).

Now why was I there you ask? It turns out, an iPod is a lot like the wicked witch of the west. You get some water on it, and it's done for. And mine got a lot of water on it. So I spent the morning driving from store to store, each one referring me up the chain until I found myself heading to the Apple Store at the Gateway in Salt Lake. I show up, wait about 45 minutes for an appointment (yes, they have you make an appointment, and I got lucky because one opened up about 10 minutes after I got there. After that one, I was looking at waiting about 2 hours for the next one. So yeah, if you're going there for reasons other than taking in the ambiance, make an appoinment ahead of time. Or clear your afternoon) and after talking with the guy for ten minutes, I'm walking out the door with a fresh replacement. Fantastic. Only in America can you walk into the store with a defective, high-end electronic device, and walk out with a completely new working model the same hour. If I was back on St. Maarten (or whatever is left of it after the hurricane), this would have taken three weeks at least, and about $100 in shipping fees. Here? $20 in gas. Can't beat it.

I do love America.

Word.

Screams From The Haters Got A Nice Ring To It, I Guess Every Superhero Need His Theme Music

2010-08-23T10:10:00.000-06:00

America. Oh I love it. Can't get enough of it. When I'm on the rock, I go to Ace Hardware just because it smells like America (freedom mixed with opportunity if you wanted to know). I think McDonald's is something spectacular because I can close my eyes and believe that I'm eating my McNuggets in a place where I don't have to worry whether my change will be in dollars or guilders, or if the power will go out mid-bite, or if I have enough bottled water to brush my teeth and shave. (By the way, shaving with bottled water, ridiculous. I was all lathered up and then the sink runs dry. It was the worst shave ever, until yesterday when I used a single blade disposable. Straight criminal really. 36 hours later, still feeling the burn.)

However, one of the downsides is that there are actual police who actually do their job. And part of their job entails giving me a speeding ticket once a year. I swear to you, it's like clockwork. Every fall since I was 17, barring the mission, I've gotten a speeding ticket. Sometimes two in a fall, but without fail, at least one. I'm in the states for a week and half this fall, driving my car for a little less then a week. Get nailed doing 36 in 25. And that's exactly what it was. Normally when they write you up for 36, you were doing like 44. Nope. I was doing 36. I had just made the corner and was accelerating while sharing a story, and boom I see a cop coming the other way. Look down, just north of the 35 tick mark. Yes, I was breaking the law, but seriously? 36 in a 25? I chalk that up to fate and destiny. This is what happens when you have legit police that actually do their job.

On better notes, there are quality donuts on like every street corner. I feel that if Noah was force to bring one food item on the ark, he would bring bacon, but if he had two he would bring nacho cheese. Donuts would be a close third. They would be followed by tootsie rolls, caramels, and Wingers Sticky Fingers.

Speaking of Sticky Fingers, I'm like 48 hours away from having a belly full of them. And a plate of them in the fridge. And another order grilling in the kitchen. Yep. All over it. You want in on some of this action, bring your A eating game, and holler at me when I get up to Utah on Wednesday evening. Normally I wouldn't post a phone number on the internet, but this number is only active for 4 weeks a year, so who cares. 321-222-8799.

Word.

I Could Use A Dream Or A Genie Or A Wish To Go Back To A Place Much Simpler Than This

2010-08-02T14:40:00.003-06:00

Wow, a whole month huh? After I had turned out three in consecutive weeks. I'm sorry. I feel like I got your hopes up for some sort of regular turnaround time, and then completely destroyed it. Truthfully, I hoped to be able to turn one out a week, but I kid you not, this med school stuff ain't no joke.

But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here because Mike and I made another wager. We make a lot of them. Surprisingly, the one thing we haven't wagered on is girls. I'd love to say it's because we're gentleman and that doing so would be uncouth, but odds are its because we never could think about how to quantify things.

The most recent bet, and one that makes me a little giddy at the prospect of winning, concerns Dustin Pedroia and Robinson Cano. They are the second baseman for the Red Sox and Yankees, respectively. Looking up their stats, aside from this year where Cano has been performing well above his career averages and Pedroia has been on the DL for extended periods of time, Pedroia has been better. By almost every metric. So what's the bet? Who will be better during the 2011 and 2012 seasons? He's got Cano, of course, and I've got Pedroia.

That's the boring stuff. Here's the good stuff. If I'm right, Mike has to refer to Pedroia for an entire year solely as the "2008 AL MVP". He currently refers to him in language that is...colorful. Not tasteless, but I would think twice about using it over the pulpit. I probably would still use it, but that's why I'm not the Elder's Quorum President (which, coincidentally, is the reason I would use it over the pulpit). Additionally, he will have to refer to Cano solely as "Buster Olney's hump buddy". I'm already trying to see if there is a way I can get my hotmail account to send out a message every morning asking him about how Cano and Pedroia did, just so he has to respond using their new names.

Hopefully, I can talk him into making a slapbet. If you're not familiar with this term, go watch How I Met Your Mother, Season 2, Episode "Slapbet". It is worth your 22 minutes. Even if you've never seen an episode of this show, you will find yourself on the floor laughing. Admit it. Just reading the word 'Slapbet', an intrigued smile crept across your face. Check the mirror.

There it is. It is just as good, possibly better, than you imagine it to be.

I wish I had more to say, but I've been hitting the books hard for the past week and will likely continue to do so until after finals on the 17th. You have no reason to expect a post between now and then. However, there'll probably be one during the week after finals. I'm sure something will be worth writing about.

Lastly, going to Florida for a week after finals and then Utah for a week right before coming back for the next semester. Let me know if you'll be in either location.

Word.

A Moment, A Love, A Dream Aloud

2010-07-01T21:04:00.000-06:00

Three things I want to do sometime in my life:
1) Throw food, full bore, at the TV over something. I'm not one to get angry. For all the passion I live with, I don't really get angry. Can you think of a time when I was really angry? It's a short list. But still, every time I see someone do this on TV or in a movie, I think "That's awesome. I wish I could do that." Oh, and then have someone and clean that mess up.
It's also something that I feel have to do real soon. When I leave this island, I'm going back to my nice TV. I wipe that thing down with special wipes. Kind of like the Armor All ones for your dash, but built for electronics. The only things I will ever throw at that baby are taunts and cheers, depending on how my team is doing.

2) Have something decided by a huge wheel. Like Wheel of Fortune, Price is Right or Bozo's Grand Prize Game At Home Player big. I want to spin something that requires a full body motion, and have it mean something more than whether I'm going to get a magnetic baseball team schedule, or a bumper sticker. This goes along with my idea to get one of those lottery ball air shooter things to help me determine which random movie I'm going to watch that night. (Think of it, instead of endlessly scanning over the boxes, you just create a ping pong ball that has the movie's cover art on it. You just turn the sucker on, and pull the release. Whatever pops up, you watch. Buy a new movie, make a new ball. Get rid of movie, throw out the ball. Thinking about it, all you would really need is a hair dryer, a 5 gallon water jug, a good amount of ping pong balls, a couple strong rubber bands, and a utility knife. Two full days, and this is done.)
Back to the wheel though, The most readily one that I could think of would be a "Where to eat?" wheel. The Price is Right wheel has 20 spots. I can name 20 restaurants off the top of my head that I frequent. (Yes, I definitely eat out at least 20 times a month. What of it?) Start to feel some hungus coming on, step up to the wheel and let it rip. It would be like the Urbanspoon app, but way cooler because it's a tangible wheel, with a five foot diameter, and the thing that makes the click sound.
I know what you're thinking. Couldn't you just spin the wheel until you got to one you wanted? Oh, you underestimate my resolve. First spin gets it. The only exceptions would come in if there was some sort of medical condition that would rule out a choice. say I'm going out on a date, and I know she's allergic to sticky fingers (I don't know why I would even bother dating someone with this condition, but for hypothetical's sake, go with it), I would know better than sticking with Wingers. (I would definitely take a date to Wingers. Heck, I would have my wedding luncheon there if the future wifey cleared it. It's a classy place. Some people even dress up for it.)

3) Get my own baseball card. Turns out, for the past two years Topps has been putting codes in their card sets. The first person to crack it got themselves inserted into the next year's set. Two things: Why didn't they do this from 1990-1995? I would have been in at least one set, if not three. The only thing that would have held me back was the cash flow to get the cards, but I guarantee you, if you told me that my card could wind up sandwiched between Frank Thomas and Alex Gonzalez (I wanted to put Ken Griffey, but they never put two all-stars one right after the other), I would become the youngest donor at the blood bank ever. I would have learned how to mow a yard at age 9 instead of 26.
Now that I could financially buy baseball cards by the box, I'm genuinely thinking about giving it a whirl when I get back to the states in 2011. Last year's code was cracked in 72 hours. I figure this year's will take four days, and when I step up next year's it would take probably a week. Yeah, I can do that. Completely worth it to get my own legit baseball card.

Word.

I'm Dressed All In Blue And I'm Remembering You

2010-06-25T00:00:00.001-06:00

So I watched both 'Reality Bites' and 'High Fidelity' late this evening. Let me tell you, don't do this if you want to sleep later that evening. It is not conducive to anything other than deep, existential thoughts. And that brings us to this blog post.

For me, I got to thinking about past relationships. I've had my fair share and I like to think I've ran the gamut of relationships. Deep, shallow, short, long, good, bad. Some I regret starting, some I regret ending, but they're all part of my character now. They've all shaped me and how I handle future relationships. They've all given me stories and memories that remind me of all the good reasons to take romantic chances.

I can't tell you why, but I got to thinking about how the other halves of my relationships view our time together. I wonder if they think that I was good to them. Which memories do they still have, if any? I have to imagine that the married ones seldom, if ever reflect on when I dated them, but I like to believe that they have a couple. I know my parents still have stories, some of them not disastrous, of people they dated before they met each other.

The ones who are still single, I hope they think well of the time we shared. I like to think that they remember the fun times, but part of me wonders if they have bad stories about dating me. Id like to think that I was flawless, but I know there were some rough spots along my relationship road. I wonder if those outweigh the good times, or vice versa.

Again, do not watch 'High Fidelity' and 'Reality Bites' late at night, back to back. Do not do it. You will end up thinking about questions that have no answers.

Word.

I Was Listening To The Radio And Wondering What You're Dreaming When It Came To Mind That I Didn't Care

2010-06-18T11:31:00.004-06:00

I'm still kind of reeling about how the US got robbed against Slovenia. Sure the defense decided to take the first half off, but that doesn't mean we should get penalized in the closing minutes in addition to allowing those two goals.

Yeah, I have World Cup Fever. It presents with a strong urge to actually play soccer, using the term 'pitch' to describe something other than a throw to the catcher, and rooting for countries that you can not locate on a map (Slovenia?? The announcer said it was next to Italy. Good enough for me). It's a 30 day bug, and usually self-resolves, but may recur in four year intervals.

Normally, I would watch every game, but do to time zone changes, and class, I have to miss most of them, and abstain from a couple others. As it turns out, Medical School was the right time for my parents to say "You know, when you get to (junior high/high school/college/medical school), you're going to have buckle down and study." I've been a world class coaster for the past 20 years of my academic career. Every now and then a class would challenge me and I would have to raise my game, but for the most part, the road was a downhill slip and slide. Just enjoy the ride and everything will be great fun.

Now, I'm studying for tests weeks and months out. I'm studying for a test that is a year out. A year. It blows my mind to think about it. There's just so much stuff that I need to have on recall that I genuinely have to start as soon as I receive it. I spend a good chunk of my day preparing outlines and flash cards reviewing bacteria, viruses, tissue pathologies, and physiological abnormalities. And none of it will pay off for at least three weeks. Ridiculous.

Which brings me back to the World Cup. More pointedly, diversions. I love them. They keep me sane and help me realize that there is more to life that just grinding it out. For those of you that don't have an iPhone/iPod touch, you can just check out now. Go over to Sporcle.com, play yourself some mentally stimulating games, and eat some apricots. For those that do, I have to express some love for a couple apps that have gotten me through many a late night or all day study session.

In order of how willing I am to name a child after it:

1) Angry Birds- Ok, maybe not a child, but I guarantee you, the next softball team I construct, we will be known as the angry birds. For $0.99, you get this fantastic game where you slingshot birds (with various special abilities) at pigs, in efforts to reclaim the eggs those pigs stole from you. It is amazing. If you trust me about anything other than food recommendations, trust me that this is 99c that you will be glad you spent.

2) Words with Friends- Rae-lo showed me this one and I've been hooked ever since. It plays on my hyper-competitive nature as well as my puzzle-solving-itis. It's scrabble against either known or random people over the internet. The best part is that if you don't have time to play a whole game in one sitting, you just leave and come back later. It works out great when I'm playing against friends out in Utah or California who live in a completely different time zone and therefore wake up later than me and stay up later than me. A big-ups to Rae-lo for this recommendation. If you have it and want to play, get at me (I've always wanted to say that) at RickMD239.

3) Catan- Dear sweet goodness, if you haven't played Settlers of Catan, go play right now. And if you have played it and don't like it, then return to your alien ship and fly home. Seriously. Best game ever created that isn't named 'Monopoly'. And they have it in app form. Only downside, can't play multiplayer like Words with Friends. I understand why because it's a game that needs be done in one sitting, but still would like to have the option. Also, a little pricey at $4.99, but definitely worth it if you like Settlers. After a couple of games, you'll come to hate Vincent almost as much as I already do.

4) Line-up- It's free, so you might think it sucks, but it's a fantastic little app. You clear out connecting, same-colored tiles in efforts to prevent the stacks from reaching the top. The best part is that a game usually is over within 2 minutes, so it's perfect for when you're waiting for someone or something and you're not sure how soon they'll be there. Like how snake was for the original Nokia phone. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, get out. Just get out right now. As far as I'm concerned, that is, was and always will be the greatest cell phone game ever. And it's not even close.) Completely worth getting, and has a high replay ability.

Oh, and the thing plays your music collection while you're playing games. Really would have blown pioneer minds that they could have played virtual kick the can while listening to Come, come ye saints (remix).

Word.

Rob The Jewelry Store And Tell Them 'Make Me A Grill'

2010-05-17T08:06:00.005-06:00

Don't touch the kicker's plant leg.
Don't talk to someone working on a no-hitter.
Don't take pictures while Tiger's in his back swing. (But do feel free to take them during his back slide.)

There are some things that are unacceptable. Had a buddy throw a fantastic barbecue the other day. The grub was superb, people excellent, and a general feeling of 'awesome' permeated the affair. Despite this, I realized that this event is fraught with opportunities to be either a hero or a goat. However, since they are previously unwritten, you can't really get mad about people making the following mistakes. To remedy this, I've decided to outline a couple of rules that every guy should follow in regards to a barbecue invite. This is by no means an all-inclusive list, but simply a primer, and most of these rules applies to when a guy invites another guy. I've come to realize that girls get passes on just about everything.

1. Bring meat. In particular, bring at least enough for you, and preferably something extra to share. Unless the event is being catered or a company junket, make sure to stop by the deli before you show up. Just because the host has decided to open his house and fire up his grill does not mean he should be buying every guest a steak or rack of ribs. Even if you know the man can afford it, be a man yourself and come bearing animal flesh. Listen, if Warren Buffett invited me to a barbecue at his house, I'm walking in with a steak and package of bratwurst.

Why the extra you ask? Simple. Have you ever been to a function and thought, 'Man this is great, but there is just too much barbecue meat.' Me neither. You can never have enough. And if there's some left over, the host keeps it. Anything opened becomes property of the host. If you showed up late and they never opened your bacon wrapped filets, you can take those home, but if even one of the four pack was opened, it's stealing to put those back in your car. Bringing food to the barbecue is like bringing a sexy personality to a date. No one complains about the extra and the host takes it home at the end of the night.

2. You're arrival time should be dictated by how much of a friend the host is to you. Barbecue's take some prep work. Especially if you're using charcoal. But even gas grills require scraping, moving, testing, and washing. Now, while the host doesn't need help, he certainly would appreciate at least some company while he's going about the prep work. If your a really close friend, show up on time. The less close you are, the later you show up. However, there needs to be a cap...

3.Don't show up an hour late to a barbecue. You do realize this is man's house, not a restaurant? He wants the party to go for a while too, but if people keep showing up later and later, that means he has to either A) keep near the grill to cook the food for Johnny Late-comer, or B ) feel bad about not grilling for Jimmy Rude-sauce. If you are physically unable to come within an hour, bring food that does not require grilling. Fried chicken is a good main dish, or feel free to bring in any dessert. Remember, the host wants to hang out with people too. He doesn't want to spend the whole day by the grill.

4. Bring no more than one more dude than girl you bring. Put this with the 'Too much meat' issue. Never has there been a party where people left because there was too many girls there. If you find yourself thinking that, do two things immediately: 1) slap the begeezus out of yourself, 2) call me with your location.

When a guy is having a barbecue he wants to have fun, eat well, hang out with friends, and meet new friends. You should also be thinking, maybe this a chance for him (as well as yourself) to meet new ladies. On the list of perfect situations to meet new girls, I don't know how one could exclude barbecue. People are being fed and sheltered, so Maslov's lowest tier of needs is being satisfied. It's not crowded enabling conversations to easily and spontaneously start. And, everyone knows at least one other person, so everyone is socially comfortable. For those scoring at home: win-win-win-win.

This is why you as a guest should be aware of your impact on the gender balance. You may bring one additional guy friend without bringing a girl. However, if you want to bring two guy friends, you must get at least one other girl to come. You want to know what you hear all the time as people are leaving parties? 'There's too many dudes.' Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

5. As a guy, make sure that the best grub goes to girls. Trust me when I say that first impressions go a long way. I've spent the past 10 years of my life refining the first impressions I give. Not kidding. And the results have been nothing short of astounding. I started out with a girl approval-to-girl meeting ratio of about 1/6 (meaning for every six girls I met, one left thinking, 'he's an ok guy'). That's horrible. Now, I'm up around 6/7 (can't get them all). And why you ask? Simple. I offer them the best. If I'm at a barbecue, I want some good steak as much as the next guy. However, I don't really care if it comes to me a little overcooked or undercooked. I'll eat anything from rare to well done (though a man ordering a steak well done causes an angel to lose its wings) and enjoy myself. My impressions on the host and guests are typically food independent. Girls, however, bring everything together. If they're eating something nasty that reflects poorly on the entire company. Don't let that happen. Give the girls the best stuff. If the girls are happy, everyone's happy. If they're not, no one is.

6. Don't offer to help grill. Unless you have a show on the Food Network about grilling, let the host handle the cooking. The host planned this activity. If he didn't think he could do it sufficiently, he wouldn't have set it up. And, if by chance, he does need help, he'll ask. Offering another man help grilling is like offering him help driving. Why don't you just ask him if he need help opening his jars? It's about the same.

Avoid these things guys. Everybody wins.

Word.

The Good Life, Let's Go On A Livin' Spree

2010-05-04T17:51:00.000-06:00

Because it the first month of Baseball season and I was fretting over why my team is already 6 games back?
Because it was announced that '24' was ending and I wanted the world to go dark?
Because The Rise of Mickelson had started and I wasn't sure how to publicize it?
Because there was a shortage of 'fantasta-rifficness' in the world and my services were called upon?

Now, while the last one may be true, none of them are reason for the full month hiatus. Real reason- two weeks of prepping for midterms and finals coupled with leaving my laptop in my apartment when I went to back to the states. I decided to see if I could handle all of my daily internet based tasks solely via the iPod. And I can. It's fantastic. Now when I travel, instead of a laptop and huge charger cable, the iPod and it's tiny wall charger are sufficient. Very pleased.

Things that I'm also pleased about, my trip to NYC. Absolutely great. Big kudos to Mike for putting it all together. Saw the sights in a timely fashion, had a lot of great experiences, and was able to hang out with a lot of great people. An absolute blast, start to finish. No, seriously, from eyes open to eyes closed, non-stop laughing and enjoyment. Could not have gone better, and that even includes the forgoing of Bethpage. Well, maybe if the White Sox swept, instead of going 1-2, but asking for that would be unreasonable. And yes, I may have lost the end of my pinky finger due to frostbite at the Mets game, but it was worth it.

What stands out most of all, is the fun I had with the people who came. They were perfect. I came in knowing Mike better than he knows himself, a couple others by name, and some not at all, but I can say that I left with indelible memories regarding them all. (Wow, that came off a lot more touchy-feely than I wanted. I feel like I'm in a Single's Ward Fast and testimony meeting, praising my roommates. Yikes.) But honestly, much love to those eight who put up with me, and took me in as one of their own.

Also, a big thanks to Dan and his family for putting me up for a couple evenings in their lovely home. Couldn't have been treated better if I was in my own home. That's not hyperbole, either.

Couldn't have asked for more out of vacation.

Word.

I've Got Another Confession My Friend, I'm No Fool

2010-05-04T16:49:00.004-06:00

I have a friend named Jake. For starters, I should tell you he is one of the best people I have ever met. How great is he? Glad you asked. We all know how much I like being who I am. I mean, I really like being me. Really, really like it. However, if given the opportunity to become him, I just might take it.

I bring him up, because of a phrase he often used to describe things. He often would refer to something as 'A poor man's...' to describe how one thing was similar but inferior to another. And lately, I feel like there have been many instances where this phrase should be implied so everybody knows where things stand. So over the past couple days, I've compiled of a list of these comparisons.

Ryan Howard is a poor man's Albert Pujols (despite being paid like a rich man's)
Leona Lewis is a poor man's hybrid of Alicia Keys and Colbie Callait (only british)
Citi Field is at once a poor man's Citizen Bank Park and a rich man's Nationals Stadium
New Yankee Stadium is a rich woman's and a poor man's Old Yankee Stadiumd (how else do you explain the addition every amenity possible, restaurants galore, a level of cleanliness reserved for museums, and the removal of all the nostlagia, ambiance, and lore)
A good-bye hug is a poor man's good-bye kiss
A Woody Allen at the Carnegie Deli is a rich man's any other meat sandwich (I so want one right now)
The Courtyard is most certainly a poor man's Ritz-Carlton (Have you seen those rooms? Why would you leave?)
Monument Park is a poor man's Cooperstown
Every other outfielder save Matt Kemp, is a poor man's Jason Heyward
The name you want to give your daughter is a poor man's "Ken Griffey Jr's Swing" (The name I want to give my first daughter. Think the future Mrs. will green light that? Me too.)
Halo is a poor man's Contra
The NBA and NHL playoffs are a poor man's World Cup
Cream puffs, while fantastic, are a poor man's cannoli
An eCard is a poor man's real card
Ending a blog with anything else is a poor man's "Word."

Word.

Everytime I Step Up In The Building Everybody Hands Go Up

2010-04-04T14:33:00.000-06:00

Here it is. The long awaited for baseball prediction showcase. I can feel the hot breath of the throngs behind me, dying to supplant my greatness. Not this years my friends. Not this year.

AL East

1. Yankees- It's just absurd how well this team is built. When Brett Gardner is the only name on the diamond who isn't a big name, you're doing fine. They're only possible weakness is the bullpen, and that has been shored up now that Joba is finally in the bullpen where he belongs. (Side note: nice job wasting innings on trying him out as a starter. There goes two years of his career.) Either way, this team is the favorite. For everything. And it's not really that close.- 98 wins

2. Rays- Just a stacked young team here, and this year, we're not talking about whether or not players will reach their projections because everyone has done so. They could compete with the Yankees, but they need one more elite arm to show up. But I just don't see that happening.- 94 wins

3. Red Sox- How the mighty have fallen. Yes they have a good rotation behind Beckett, Lester and Lackey, but that offense is anemic. The only bopper on the team is the corpse of David Ortiz. When you're offense is going to be keyed on Dustin Pedroia, I just don't know if your team can plate enough runs to keep up with the other powers of the AL East.- 87 wins

4. Blue Jays- Strong offense, ok pitching staff now that Halladay is gone. This is a team that is praying their young arms develop today. And maybe they will. I don't think so.- 78 wins

5. Orioles- Not much to see here. Move along.- 71 wins

AL Central

1. White Sox- In a division of straight mediocrity (and believe me, it is top to bottom mediocre), I'm just going with the personal favorite. They do have the best rotation among the division, but their offense lost a lot of production with the departures of Thome and Dye. Still, I do feel we have the best chance to come out of this sector.- 87 wins

2. Twins- Almost the opposite of the White Sox, solid offense, questionable pitching. And that's why I took the White Sox. Good pitching over good hitting. Mauer though, quite the beast and has to be in the top two when it comes to MVP predictions.- 84 wins

3. Tigers- They are the most dangerous if they could put everything together offensively. Love their pitching staff behind Verlander and Porcello. The offense could be outstanding, but they haven't shown it yet.- 80 wins

4. Indians- The only thing I liked about the previews this year was that people no longer blindly say the Indians are going to be good this year. They're not. Not this year, not for a couple years. There is nothing I like about this team. If you drafted any Indian other than Grady Sizemore, you messed up in your fantasy league.- 77 wins

5. Royals- You kind of feel bad for Greinke, until you realize that he's going to get paid like banking CEO in a couple years as long as he can keep that lightning in a bottle. (People don't realize the guy had a 34-45 record before last year). Beyond that, yikes.- 69 wins

AL West

1. Mariners- Love every move they made. Acquiring Figgins from the division rival, and Lee for a couple prospects, fantastic moves. Yes, I know that Lee will likely be out, or relatively out for the month of April, but they'll be fine.- 91 wins

2. Angels- You can't lose your #1 starter and your most important offensive player and expect to stay on top of your division. Just can't put them back on top.- 88 wins

3. A's- Sure. Why not here?- 82 wins

4. Rangers- See above.- 79 wins

NL East

1. Phillies- I'm done with the Mets. I picked them for years, and they've never come through for me. I don't fully understand why they made the Halladay for Lee swap, but you know that guy's going to be dominant in the NL. I've got him for 22 wins. Not kidding 22.- 96 wins

2. Marlins- I like their young arms. Johnson and Nolasco look to be strong and the offense is strong. Not enough to take down the Phillies, but still really good for the NL.- 89 wins

3. Braves- I'll drink the Jason Heyward kool-aid. He's so impressive. I was hacked off I didn't get him in my fantasy draft.- 84 wins

4. Mets- A healthy Santana should be quite impressive, but this a team with a bunch of problems. You would think they would be stacked looking at the names, but they're like the Yankees of 5 years ago. A lot of names, but not putting up the results.- 81 wins

5. Nationals- The Strasburg era can not start early enough for DC fans. They don't have much else to look forward to.- 70 wins

NL Central

1. Cardinals- The only team that can challenge the Phillies. They got a huge break when Philadelphia's big move was a lateral move. Then the resigning of Holliday (yes they overpaid, but if it gets them a ring, it'll be their Boston-JD Drew signing) and the best one-two in the national league- San Francisco is a close second- puts them right in contention. Oh and they have this guy named Pujols. He's kind of good.- 92 wins

2. Brewers- This division is the worst in baseball. Yes, worse than the AL Central. The Brew-crew have Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun... and that's it. And yes, their the second best team in the division.- 82 wins

3. Cubs- This is getting ugly. Name me three cubs not named Aramis Ramirez. I'll wait. Now how many of them would you want on you team? Zambrano? Yikes.- 80 wins

4. Reds- Only this high because they have talented young arms that might be something special in the middle-end season.- 78 wins

5. Astros- Oswalt's looking at retirement, Berkman is plateauing, and there's not much else here to talk about. Just a mess of a lineup. Another team where if you have more than one guy on your team, you're likely both a homer and a cellar-dweller.- 75 wins

6. Pirates- I feel like there have to be triple A squads that could beat them consistently. When you rotation consists of Zach Duke, Ross Ohlendorf, Paul Maholm, Rick Russell, and the unfulfilled promise of Seth Green's movie career, you don't have much.- 68 wins

NL West

1. Dodgers- Good offense, solid pitching, and fixed their weaknesses in the bullpen. They should win this, but the Rockies are looking better this year. Still, I just can't ever root against Manny Ramirez. I want him in my life for as long as possible.- 88 wins

2. Rockies- A team that keeps getting better, but not quite there yet.- 85 wins

3. Diamondbacks- They look a lot like Rays did three years ago. A couple good starters, a young strong offense behind them. They could make some noise in a year or two, if they improve the starting pitching a little.- 81 wins

4. Giants- Lincecum and Cain. Not much behind them. They can look forward to a lot of 3-2 losses this year. I'm thinking like 88 of them.- 74 wins

5. Padres- The over under on months Adrian Gonzalez stays with the team is at 2. I'll take the under.- 72 wins.

That gives us for playoff teams

AL- Yankees, White Sox, Mariners, and Rays (Wild Card)
NL- Phillies, Cardinals, Dodgers and Marlins (Wild Card)

First round:
Yankees over White Sox in 4
Mariners over Rays in 4
Phillies over Dodgers in 3
Cardinals over Marlins in 3

LCS round
Yankees over Mariners in 7 (Sabathia & Burnett v King Felix and Lee...awesome)
Cardinals over Phillies in 6 (The Phillies still don't have an ace 2-starter. The Cardinals do)

World Series
Yankees over Cardinals in 5

And the individual awards

MVP's: Pujols and Mauer (Name anyone who does more for their team than these guys for their respective clubs.)

CY Youngs: Halladay and Felix Hernandez

Allstar starters (By numerical position)

AL
Felix Hernandez
Joe Mauer
Mark Teixeira
Dustin Pedroia
A-Rod
Jeter
Crawford
Granderson
Ichiro

NL
Halladay
Yadier Molina
Pujols
Utley
Wright
Hanley Ramirez
Braun
Justin Upton
Jason Heyward

Triple Crown Categories

HR
Pujols, Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder
A-Rod, Longoria, Carlos Pena

RBI
Pujols, Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder
A-Rod, Longoria, Adam Lind

Avg
Pujols, Helton, Hanley Ramirez
Mauer, Ichiro, Bartlett

W
Halladay, Carpenter, Lincecum
Verlander, Sabathia, King Felix

ERA
Halladay, Lincecum, Wainwright
King Felix, Cliff Lee, Jon Lester

K
Lincecum, Vazquez, Halladay
Verlander, Lester, King Felix

There you have it. Come and get me.

Word

O Cecilia, You're Breaking My Heart

2010-03-24T20:32:00.002-06:00

I love Baseball. I know, I should have asked you all to sit down before I gave away the big plot twist, but truthfully, if I were to start every conversation with those three words, I just don't know if it would properly state the affection I have for it. Everything about it is perfect to me, and it only gets better every day. It is the air I breathe and the food I eat...

And this Saturday, it told me that I needed to work harder if it was going to hang around me.

During the past year, I have idled my time away with other pursuits. Most of them were promising, but none held a candle to Baseball. About two months ago, I discovered this island had a softball league. And not just any softball league, but one of the most serious ones I've ever seen. We're talking uniforms that the pro's wear, customized with names on the back and non-sequential numbers sewn in. Well, we did not have any corporate sponsors, so I was tasked to put together team uniforms on a shoestring budget. They look great, but no one is going to confuse ours with the Yankees'.

We've played about seven games so far, and I haven't re-checked the results, but I'm fairly certain we're 0-7. None of them were close. Despite the team thumpings, I had always managed my own. Couple hits, stolen base here or there, couple routine plays and making sure playing time for everyone is well balanced. Nothing dazzling, but I knew that Baseball was coming home with me every night.

This weekend, I went home alone.

Truly tragic. My complete confidence was jarred. I was like a 14 year old boy asking a girl to dance for the first time. In the space of twenty minutes, I dropped a pop-fly, and struck out. Yikes. I've admitted many things here that I'm not too proud of. This is by far the most humiliating.

I struck out in modified pitch softball. It's not fast pitch, but it's not the big looping slow pitch. It's as fast as it takes to keep the pitch on a line from mound to plate, but not much faster. And I whiffed for strike three. We have guys on the team who had never played baseball before this league started, and I was the first (and currently only) one to strike out.

The crowd, which normally gives us a playful ribbing, went deadly silent. It was as though they were all afraid to say anything, or I would possibly snap and attack someone with the bat. And to follow it up by dropping a fly ball in left field the next half inning (which would have been the third out, but turned a 2-run inning into a 9-run inning), and now I feel as though Baseball and me are going through our second fight ever. For the record, the first was Baseball's fault. It went on strike during the playoffs and World Series back in '94. Thankfully, I proved that I could hold out longer and it came back to me for the beginning of the 95 season.

I hope this spat doesn't last long. Baseball's all I've got to get me through the days and weeks. If I lose that, I just don't know what I'll turn to. Maybe I should get the team together and practice, but how do you get a team together to practice that has already forfeited two of their games?

Word.

Last Name Ever, First Name Greatest, Like A Sprained Ankle, I Ain't Nothing To Play With

2010-03-04T14:04:00.005-07:00

I've held back from posting about this for a while now. Mostly so people believe that I'm always studying, partly because I didn't want to take the time, and minutely because just it's mentioning raises my heart rate and I'm not in sufficient shape to be doing that often. But I can't hold it back any more.

My White Sox play their first spring training game in less than an hour.

Yes, it's spring training and the games mean as much as my softball league, but the point is, they're back. Baseball is back. Baseball coverage is back. Baseball fantasy is back. Baseball conversations are back. Baseball shaped hot dogs are back (signed by the '86 Mets). It's back.

I've come to the point now where it's the only sport I actively follow. It's the only sport where if you tell me a starter, I can tell you his current team, position and a general statement on the quality of him. You give me the third star on pretty much any NBA team outside of the Lakers or Jazz, and I've got at best a 30% chance of getting the team. Football is a little easier because trades are far less frequent, but I would never think about ranking players outside of the top five in the major positions. I simply don't care anymore.

I would get home from church with plenty of time before the first NFL game started. I never turned the TV on for it. Not once. I never even flipped down to the channel it was on. The first game I watched was the Arizona-Green Bay playoff game. And I came in around half time. The Super Bowl was the only game I watched start to finish. I didn't think the day would come when I was a one sport follower, but I am. I'm with Baseball. (And yes, I now capitalize it as though it were a person or deity)

As such, it's time to to announce the 2nd annual 'Rick Russell knows more about Baseball than you do' tournament. The stakes will be the same. I'll give $50 to whomever can beat me. However, when you do lose, you have to send in a $1 bill inscribed 'Rick Russell knows more about baseball than I do - 2010'. Yes, I'm putting myself roughly a 50-1 favorite against the world. (Or the percentage of the world that reads this, which I can only assume is close enough to be statistically similar to the global population) If by some infinitesimal chance more than one person PED's their way in front of me, $40 to the high scorer, and $10 to the second highest.

Going to tweak it a little. Of course, team wins, playoff results as well as Cy Young and MVP will stay in play, but we're pulling Rookie of the Year. Despite the excellent movie by the same name, it's just not a good indicator of personal knowledge.

In it's place, We're going with the top three leaders in each of the triple crown categories for each league. In English, that means the HR, RBI, AVG and the Ks, W, ERA leaders of both the NL and AL. Each correct placement will be worth 2 points. You don't have to get the players in the right order, just that they finished in the top three. So if you think Omar Vizquel has been juicing all winter and is going to finish 2nd in HR this year, but actually finishes in 1st with 48 jacks, you still get the 2 points. Get it? Good.

Also, this time, we're starting with 300 points. That way everyone should finish in the positives, making the victory that much easier to show.

To recap:

Start with 300
Take the difference of actual team wins from predicted team wins, and subtract
Add 5 points for each playoff team
Add 5 points for each correct playoff designation
Add 15 points for picking a World Series team
Add 20 points for picking the World Series winner
Add 5 points for each Cy Young or MVP winner
Add 1 point for each All-Star Starter
Add 2 points for each top 3 finisher in the triple crown statistics.
Highest score wins.

All entries are due before the first official game of the regular season, Sunday, April 4, at 3:05pm ET. Mine will go up on this site at that time. Send your entries to RickRussell239@gmail.com. I'll give you all my mailing address at the end of the season.

And go White Sox.

Word.

Cause I Got A Feeling, This Could Be One Of Those Memories

2010-02-16T15:06:00.002-07:00

So how have your past 36 hours been? I assure you, mine have been more dramatic. I don't say that often, and I less often can actually back it up. But right now, I can. I'm 99% sure I can.
Yesterday morning was midterm exams, and this time I had put in some serious study time to put out the small fires that were lit last midterms. I went in, did my thing and left feeling like I scored between an 85 and 90 on all three (this is pretty good considering the class averages are typically low to mid 70s). Went home, ate some lunch and got a message saying that the scores from one of the tests had been posted. I checked the grade, and it wasn't what I was expecting. It was a 48.

That's not your dyslexia cropping up, it really is a 48. Now, I've over projected my test results before, and they've come back 5-10 points lower than I expected. It's disappointing, surely. However, scoring 40 points below what you expected. It was like getting hit in the chest with a bag of manure. It makes you start to question everything you think about yourself. My buddy Dan and I were going to grab some pizza a couple minutes after I checked the score and I spent the whole walk over thinking about how on earth this could have happened. I mean, I thought I knew the material. I had put in the time.

At one point, I began questioning whether or not I was truly smart. I mean, sure some people might say that, but maybe it's because I'm ugly and they want something nice to say. That got me thinking about whether or not I was moderately attractive. So, because of that 48, I began to think, maybe I'm an aesthetically sub-par, less than intelligent fellow.

We have lunch and I'm going into to defcon 5. I'm asking random people if they know someone who works as a private tutor. I'm downloading the notes that will be covered in three weeks. An email is sent asking the professor to meet with me and go over the test, question by question so I don't make the same mistakes on the final. I was borderline panicking.

It's not like I haven't failed tests, because I certainly have. I hung a 32 in Accounting 210 at BYU. But the difference is, when I handed in the accounting test, I knew I was going to be lucky to get a 50. A 32 was acceptable, and wound up curving up to a 'B-' (Overall hardest class I have ever taken. Credit-for-credit however would have to go to the Organic Chemistry lab. 2 credits of demonic torment there). But when you expect a 90 or so, and wind up getting half of that, you feel your axis shift.

So the rest of the day had a dark tint as I was trying to figure out how on earth I could turn this around. My friends were meeting up to go swimming and fishing off of one of their docks. I went over and more or less forgot about it for a couple hours. (Didn't catch any fish, but saw these two kids bring in two or three by using a spear gun. I really want a spear gun now.) Came home to find another message saying another test score had been posted. This one was right about where I expected it to be.

However, it surprised me that it was posted so late. It wasn't up at 4:45, but by 7:30 it was up. So after checking that one, I figured well, might as well see if the professor responded to my email. I pull up the course page, hit the refresh button, and my grade jumped to an 88.

I've never hit control-P so fast in my life.

I was not letting that go. I hit refresh a couple more times to see if this was some sort of joke, but no, it was legit. Then I found an email saying that there was a some sort of mix up with the initial posting of the grades, but has been corrected. In one swoop, I was smart and attractive again. Had a fantastic dinner where I ate more sushi than I probably should have, and slept like a baby.

This morning was class as usual, and after that I went to get a hair cut. My sister's getting married in a month, and I knew I couldn't make it that long. So, I decided to get it cut now, this way, if it turns out bad, it will grow into something presentable between now and then. And I'm glad I did. In case you were wondering, the '#4' setting for clippers here is somehow not the same as it is in the states. The #4 here is more like the #2 back in the states. She warned me that it was going to be close, but I didn't realize how close until she cut a swath by my ear. And then there was no turning back. Now I have a decent buzz cut that will look normal in two weeks, which is one week before the wedding. Real glad I thought ahead on this one.

Right after the hair cut, Dan, Ray and I went to the beach to relax/celebrate after midterms. It was a perfect day. Slightly overcast, with a gentle breeze while the waves playfully lapped up the coastline. Took a short nap after settling into some chairs, turned over for a little and then just chilled for a while. After a couple hours being there, people started to leave.

Then, we look straight out and see a woman swimming toward two kids. I've seen enough people swim to know when they are swimming to have fun, and when they are swimming for a purpose. She was in the second group. The part of the beach we were at had a huge shore break, which makes it nice to watch, but makes it very susceptible to a rip tide. And these two little kids were certainly stuck in it. I got up and watched the lady for a minute, trying to see if she would be able to help. It became quickly evident she would not.

And then the lifeguard training from years back kicked in. I went in with two other guys. One of them went to lady, and the other one and I caught up to the kids. I don't know for sure what happened to the guy who was with me, but he seemed to disappear quickly. Now I'm swimming to shore with the two kids on my arm. I timed the waves and caught some footing under the water. The wave ebbed and I withstood most of it, but not all of it. Warning the kids that there was going to be one more wave, I got ready for one more great push. We all rode that wave far enough where I could firmly set my feet, and holding the two kids at my waist, endured the backwash. I walked out holding them for a couple steps when two other guys showed up and I handed each of them a kid.

I wasn't sure if the lady was back yet. I turned around and saw that the guy who was helping her was getting the job done, so I relaxed a little and waited until she was back on her feet and walking up the beach.

I can tell you this. I am out of shape. After just five minutes (maybe) of strenuous effort, I was tuckered for the next 15. Ridiculous. Does this mean I'm going to start exercising? You must not know me. At best, maybe I'll start running once a week. Maybe.

Oh and I got an 82 on the third test. A little lower, but still above the class average and more than enough to keep things going smoothly.

All of that happened between 6:45am on Monday morning, and 6:45 pm Tuesday afternoon.
How was your past 36 hours?

Word.

I Give It To Em Straight, You Cut It With Baking Soda

2010-02-13T13:21:00.003-07:00

After six months in med school, I finally caved this afternoon. I knew it would happen eventually, but am more surprised that it took this long to get here.

For lunch I had a tuna sandwich and a green Monster. The tuna sandwich is not that interesting (even though I think it's the first time I ever ordered one), as much as the green Monster. It's the first energy drink I've consumed in about two years. I'm am wired right now. Like, eyes shaking inside of sockets wired. Like, seeing Ray holding his hand up while thinking and giving him an unprovoked high five. It's interesting. Let's see how long this train runs.

According To Me, You're Stupid, You're Useless

2010-02-07T15:50:00.000-07:00

You should know, this will be long.

6 Things that irk me, for reasons that may seem stretched.

1. 'The Little Mermaid'

I don't know if I've gone over the evils of this movie in this space before, but I will tell you this, there is a 0 percent chance I'm allowing this movie into my home. 0. And if I have daughters, it drops to -25. That's right. I might actively ask other parents not to show this movie to them. I don't want them seeing it. It can only bring bad things.

Let's recap the plot line just so you understand my extreme viewpoint.
We start off with a happy family. The girls are all loved, cherished, protected and provided for by their father, who does all this while being King of the oceans. He even allows Ariel to indulge in a hobby of collecting foreign things, things he knows may be problematic. However, not wanting to intrude on her independence or impede her own maturation, he permits it. Fast forward to P-day (P for petulant), and Ariel gets an idea that she wants to go on land. She asks her father for permission, and he wisely instructs her that it would be a bad idea. And I agree. A 16 year old girl (I'm ball-parking and might be a little high), leaving home for a completely foreign land sounds more than risky.

Here's why I hate this movie. Instead of going back and thinking about why her father could have disagreed with her, she runs to the local drug dealer to get what she thinks is right. She has her frolic up on land, falls in love, and then it all starts hitting the fan when the drug dealer demands payment. And who rescues her from what can easily be analogous to jail? That's right. Her dad co-signs, sacrificing everything like a good dad does to protect his daughter.
But it's not over. Now the inmates run the prison with Ursula becoming the ruler of the seas.
Again, Ariel does clean up her own messes. Eric, the loving boyfriend, pulls off herculean efforts to set the world back in order.

And Ariel does nothing during this entire sequence. I repeat. Nothing.
And then her dad gives her what she wanted in the first place. Like nothing happened. No punishment, no conversation, nothing. Just a point of the triton and voila. Happy smiles and a lovely boat wedding.

I don't want my girls growing up thinking that:

It's ok to disobey their parents
If you can't get something through normal channels, go to the black market
Every whim should be followed blindly
They won't need to fix their problems because that's what their dad or husband is for
No matter what happens, they will get what they want, and everything will be fine

So yeah. 0 percent.

2. Golf, swimming, and other things falsely called sports

If you don't have objective scoring, physicality and can not directly alter the other person's ability to succeed, you're not a sport. Sorry. If you take out objective scoring, you have performances. Remove physicality, you're playing a game. And if you can't physically impact the other person's efforts, then your just practicing with other people at the same time. I need all three for me to consider it a sport. I do love golf, but to say it's a sport is an embarrassment to real sports.

For those scoring at home, here is a starter list of sports: Football, soccer, basketball, baseball, water polo, cricket, rugby, tennis, hockey, and long distance running (because you can leave your lane and therefore, impede another runner's efforts).

The two that are so close, but I have to leave off: Boxing (if it was fight till someone gets knocked out, it would get it, but since it can go to judges, have to keep it out), and MMA (same reason).

Not sports: Swimming, short distance running, field events, gymnastics, skiing, golf, horse racing (although it would qualify as a sport for the horse), bowling and billiards.

3. Pencils

We have the pen. We even made erasable pens for those people who can't handle making a single line through an item. Why are we still using these things? Besides the texture, the noise it makes when the graphite scrapes loose...just gets to me. No thanks.

4. Door handles that only operate by being pushed down

This one gets to me because I like to hang things off the doorknob. If the handle only opens down, when I open the door, everything I hung on it slides onto the floor. No good. Because of this habit, I always try the up direction on door handles first. I find it disappointing when it doesn't work.

5. The importance placed on regular season basketball (college and NBA)

This one climbed onto the list after hearing about the possible move from 65 teams in the NCAA tournament to 96. If more than half of the teams are making the playoffs, that means you'll be accepting teams, on average, with losing records. As far as I'm concerned, no team should ever be allowed into any playoff system with a losing record. Isn't the point of a regular season to weed out the teams that wouldn't, and shouldn't, have a chance at winning a championship? Yes I realize that the cream will always rise to the top, but allowing teams who lost more than they won just seems ridiculous.

6. Literally

Easily, my pick for one of the most unnecessarily over-used, and improperly-used word. People are using it now to add emphasis, instead of to refer to things that actually occurred. You didn't literally crap your pants. You didn't literally die laughing. You didn't literally eat everything in the fridge. It didn't happen. Alternatively, I would find it awesome if people started using figuratively. I figuratively wanted to punch him. I figuratively went crazy. It's like a cool breeze on a summer day.

Not to end it on a down note,

6 Things that make me pleased, for reasons that may seem stretched.

1. 'Airborne'

If you haven't seen this movie, you haven't lived. Mitchell 'The Goose' Goosen, is the epitome of early 90s cool. He surfs, rollerblades, and even plays hockey like a champ. All the while, his hair is flowin', his lingo is stylin', and his shades are never out of reach. I feel like this movie is akin to 'Better Off Dead', where it's hilarious in part because it's a complete period piece, but also because they had just enough decent scenes to make it rewatchable.

2. Aggro Crag

If you're wondering if I spent about an hour scouring the web for a big piece of the glowing rock, you would be right. And if you know any past Nickelodeon Guts champion looking to part with their green chunk of the Crag, let me know. I'm more interested than Pauly D over a new hair gel.

3. Sawdust

Nothing not to like here. What pleases me the most, is know that if there's sawdust, it's because I made something. It's because I did something that can't be undone. It is the certificate to satisfy my high need for accomplishment.

And I like the smell.

4. Clocks

They simply fascinate me. Well, the full analog ones do. The digital ones aren't that complicated. A 5th grader can make a computer program that accurately simulates a clock. But the gears and the escapement wheel, now that is genius. Someday, I might try to build one. Odds on it working 5-2 against.

5. How far away campus is from my apartment

I live about a 6 minute walk from door to door from campus. It's the perfect distance if you ask me. Short enough that it's not a trek, but long enough that it gives me time to defrag the day's events as well as make plans for what I'm going to do once I reach whatever end point I'm going to. And, they tell me that walking is good for my health. Jury still out on that one.

6. Tootsie Rolls

No explanation needed. They're fantastic.

Word.

I Hope To See You Soon, Because You're Fond Of Me And I Am Fond Of You

2010-02-03T21:36:00.004-07:00

Please don't ask me to explain how this works, because to be honest, I don't know. I just booked my flight to home and back for after this semester. It was a little steep, even for a flight into and out of St Maarten. So I held off for a while. Then today, I realize that the White Sox are playing at Yankee stadium during the second weekend of my break. I work around this and realize that it is $10 cheaper to fly to Florida for a week, then New York for a little less than a week, and fly back to St. Maarten. Oh, and it was cheaper to book the legs separately, and they became direct flights instead of transfers. Not kidding.

Somehow, by flying twice as far, and taking less planes (ok, it's the same, but only because I got directs to NY and from NY to StM. That counts for something) I save $10. I'm not complaining in the least. I'm shocked really. Essentially, they paid for my soda. Well maybe they paid for my soda. Yankee Stadium is ridiculously expensive, so they might have only paid for my pretzel. I'm pretty stoked about the whole thing. Nothing like taking a vacation from your vacation.

This is totally a Russell family thing. We like going to places for no more than a week at a time. So, if we have a break, vacation, or something similar for more than a couple weeks, there's a good chance we're going to more than one place. We simply like to see as many different things as we can. For example, two years ago, my parents went to Germany for a business/vacation trip. I was in my last semester of business classes which I knew would not be factored into my science GPA, nor would I get less than B's, so I took a week off and went out as well. Why not. However, after a couple days of seeing some of the sights, we realize that we're kind of close to Amsterdam. Next day, there we go. Then we figure, since we're here, let's go see Belgium. So we do. That's just kind of how we are.

My parents often spend a month or two in Park City. They like to get away from the Florida summers, and enjoy the serenity of the mountains. But only for so long. Then the walls start closing in, days start dragging along, and before you know it, cruises are booked. To Alaska. Again. Why not.

I've caught hold of this and love it. Christmas breaks are always a week in Florida and a week in Utah. This break it's a week in Florida and a week in New York. Next one, I might end up spending a week or so on your couch, so please keep it clean for me. Why not.

Word.

PS. For the record, this is the second time I've flown to New York to watch a baseball game. And pitchers and catchers report in less than two weeks. I miss baseball like the world misses Calvin and Hobbes.

I Could Have Another You In A Minute, Matter Fact He'll Be Here In A Minute

2010-01-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

My parents have a history of occasionally buying things that some might consider to be white trash-y. For example, hanging on the garage wall is a nice mountain bike...with a lawnmower engine bolted onto the back wheel and a throttle wired to the handlebars. (There used to be two of these 'vehicles'. Still not sure what happened to the first, and don't really care to ask.) If you opened the fridge, you would find several cans of soda...in a 'can caddy' where they roll in a snake fashion so there is always one at the front of the shelf. (And don't be the person who takes the last can without refilling. I assure you, this will not end well for you.)

Through questionable purchases like these, they also uncovered a fantastic device. So fantastic, it's less of a mystery that we have one, than it is that we only have one.
I see no downside to this device. That's not true, I guess if you would remove it if you wanted to have one bathroom that was solely for impressing people. It hangs right where it's needed most and gives you a quick indicator of how things are. Two rolls in the caddy, we're fine. One roll in the caddy, if you remember when you're at the store, pick some up. An empty caddy, you're heading to walmart* once you wash your hands. Even if you just came home from there, you're going back out. (And yes, walmart*, not costco. Some things are worth the splurge. This is at the top of that list.)

The key to this whole system, is that the empty basket means you just put a new roll into the game. You're just out of back-ups. From years of this, I've developed a personal dogma regarding important items: Always have back-ups. Obviously, you can surmise my spending habits on the aforementioned necessity. Everything in my bathroom, I have at least a duplicate of it. This bleeds over to other things. For example, I buy printer cartridges three at a time. Pens by the box. OJ at least two cartons at a time. Casual shoes get purchased two pair at a time so when I get tired of one pair, I can switch back and forth. I own four iPods and often bring two when I go on a trip because you never know when one's going to crap out on you. Same with headphones.

Nothing makes my life easier than knowing that every essential item in my life has at least one substitute waiting to come off the bench. (And essential is definitely subjective. I own two Frank Thomas signed baseballs and used to have three baseball gloves. Yes, they're definitely essential.) It affords me the luxury of avoiding all depletion-related stress events.

Really, the biggest thing for which I don't practice redundancy is girlfriends. And I'm about 99.9% sure that I'm better off for it. For everything else, I strive to always have 'One in the basket'. My favorite example of someone other than me living this principle has to be Mike.

Mike owns a five-disc DVD player. He's had it for a couple years now. I can't remember how many, but I did live with him when it happened, so it's been a while. Soon thereafter, we began watching 'Arrested Development', a top five all-time show (Others on the list: 'Boy Meets World', 'Seinfeld', 'Scrubs', and 'Real World/Road Rules Challenges'). With only two and a half seasons, we made it through the entire series in a little more than a month. The thing is, we never pulled all the discs out. If you open up his DVD tray right now, I can guarantee you that there will be at least one 'Arrested Development' disc in there. Guarantee. Would bet any money, at any odds on this. Ideally, I would want someone to call me, and while talking to me actually walk into his house and ask him to open his DVD player. I don't know how hard I would laugh during this whole scenario, but I do feel that I would need to clear the room of hard objects that I might inadvertently thrash into.

You see, it's always there in case there's nothing else on, or it's late and he just wants to watch something good before bed, or he just finished a movie and don't want to get up and put something else on. He always has 'One in the basket'. (In fact, 'One in the tray' was the third option for the title of this idea. Originally, I called it 'One in the clip', but then felt it didn't work for me personally. I don't even own a gun, much less many guns to necessitate a gun rack.)

I guess, I'm just glad that my life runs markedly smoother because my parents, through their socially questionable purchases, have inspired in me the practice of keeping supplies on hand.

Kudos to them.

Word.

It's Something Unpredictable But In The End It's Right

2010-01-16T09:09:00.004-07:00

2010 Resolutions:

Watch every episode of 'The Jersey Shore' and die laughing (check so far!)
Consume my weight every month in granola bars
Eat at every restaurant on this island at least once
Go to a gym (Not use any of the equipment, of course. More of a recon mission)
Acquire more t-shirts from random clubs or events
Be known as the King of something (something cool would be preferred, but beggars can't be choosers)

Not a bad list, I would say. You might assume I might not be able to do the second one, thinking that this island has a short supply of them. But you couldn't be more wrong. The Costco-esque store here carries at least three different brands, guaranteeing me enough variety to accomplish the task. Aside from those, I spent the past week or so trying to develop New Year's Resolutions. I honestly did. Here's what I've got:

Make sure to review every class at least twice a week
Read the books I have before the end of this semester
Make better resolutions for next New Year

That's it. And one or more of them might have been made up as I was typing the other(s). Looking back on the past year there have been many things that were great, and some less than great, but I have to say, I don't think I would have changed any decision, even knowing the consequences. This might be the first non-mission year that I can say that without reservation. I don't know if I should feel proud that it is, or sad that the other were not. (Let's not kid ourselves, we both know I'm proud of the current accomplishment. Anything positive, I'm all about.)

Hence, this year, I would say the sky's the limit, but we all know that's false. Let's recap why:

I live on an island smaller than most cities.
I have a coursework load that if ever took serious would consume all of my time.
Although I could have a social life, it wouldn't lead to me finding someone.

So, that does put some parameters on my expectations for this year. Do not worry though. I plan on doing pseudo amazing things. I have no clue what those might be right now, but then again, last January I had no clue I would be going to med school on an island right now. I kind of like living with no clue. It keeps things interesting for me.
Word.

Every Time I Hear That Song

2010-01-08T13:59:00.004-07:00

Two years. I've been running this thing for two years. In that time I've thrown up 63 posts, including this one, and had over 3000 page loads. I wish I knew how many words I've written, but that would take a bit of work to add them all up. Can we just say it's a been a lot. A whole lot. Maybe 15% more than it should have been.

I've held contests, ranked movie stars, made playlists, and discussed the finer points of reality tv shows (oh and I love Jersey Show. No one was happier than me that the Championship game was lackluster because it enabled me to watch the new episode of Jersey Shore. Just train wreck after train wreck after train wreck. I will say this though, I am shocked at the low amount of sex occurring on this show, or at least being shown on this show. Think about it. Excluding Ronnie and Sammie [so boring to watch together, but love to see them fight], no one really has gotten significant action. The Situation has gotten close, but that's about it. Amazing). There have been tributes to former sports stars, past prophets and various food items. Theories have been conjectured, contorted and proved contrary to the truth. But it's all been a blast. And for the handful of you who have been with me from the beginning, thank you for enjoying the ride. The bulk who have picked it up mid-trip have been a great addition, and I hopefully, maybe some other people will start reading/enjoying/commenting on the nuggets thrown out here.

So here's what I'm doing on this one. I'm picking the top 6 (why six you ask? Because top five lists are for cowards) along with some post-posting commentary. Only reading comments from everyone else brings me more joy than going back and reading my older posts, so I have to figure that if I enjoy it, surely others will enjoy it.

6.You're my only reason, you're my only truth- This is one of those that the title can throw you off because of it's romantic overtones. However, the romance is definitely there between me and the great game of baseball. I'm including it because it I feel the writing is succinct and pointed, but also because it takes me right back to the ballpark, the only place I feel completely comfortable in this world. When I finish re-reading it, I always feel like it's spring, despite what season or weather may be outside, and anything that makes me remember the smell of clay, leather and wood, has to be a good thing.

5. And she can transform Just a fun one to read and laugh about. Had to include it in the list. If you don't get a kick out of this one, then either you missed out on Saved By the Bell, or you need to take some prozac.

4. You've been stretched to the limit Easily the most poignant. It was just after President Hinckley passed. He was the prophet of our generation. I mean, I remember President Hunter, but only slightly. And I knew that there was a President Benson, but can't picture him in motion at all. When he passed, it was like realizing that Santa wasn't real. Everything you knew had just changed and you weren't quite sure how to take it. After some thought, this was how I felt about it all, and I'm glad I put it down somewhere.

3. I've been waiting Ask me how much fun I had with that one. Certainly the easiest one to put up because I already had all the material ready for it. Plus, it was such a dramatic moment, that you don't forget where you were, and it's interesting to see exactly what was on your mind minute to minute. It's the best glimpse into "how does Rick really think/act when he's at ease". And that's it. It was a two hour facebook conversation that was too good not to share.

2. It's amazing, I'm the reason One that could have been a two-parter, but for reasons unknown, was merged into one. What I love about it? First and foremost, the ranking of actors/actresses into four categories. Now, whenever I see a movie trailer, I immediately scan to see who the actors and judge accordingly. I can't tell you how much time and thought this saves me. Also, it puts me on record as being one of the first to state that Tiger will not eclipse Jack's record. I think this next season will be extremely foretelling of veracity of that claim. He could come back and light the tour on fire and win the next four in a row. But I think there is just as big a chance that he comes back and the demons get to him. A month or so ago, Mike asked me if I would root for him when he came back. I still don't know.

1. He doesn't look a thing like Jesus Of all the posts, this one is the one that makes me the most proud. It combines everything I like to read in other people's posts into one post. It has a good hook, a slice of humor, a tinge of personal insight, and a dose of relationship theorizing. Absolutely love it. It does depress me that what I feel was my best was written at the beginning, as thought I haven't progressed in this medium.

I plan on putting up a New Year's Resolution one next week, but we'll see if I can find that many areas to improve. You have to remember, I live in an area where there is no dating, minimal social life, and only one task to focus on. It's not like there's a plethora of new things to learn.
Word.

If You Ain't Been A Part Of It, At Least You Got To Witness

2010-01-03T18:07:00.005-07:00

I feel like I'm stomping on my posts. Normally, I would put a new one up every two weeks or so. But for whatever reason, This will be the fourth in the last week. Insane output. Then again, when you have two flights over 5 hours apiece, and with Wi-Fi on the plane, it isn't too hard to figure out where I found the time to knock them all out. You give me a computer and five uninterrupted hours, like a seven figure contract from the Yankees, a new post will magically appear.

You see, I have to always be doing something. It's a blessing and a curse. For example: I grew up living no further than 6 minutes from the beach at any time in my life after the age of 3. Ask me how many times I went to the beach to lay out? Ask me how many times I went to the beach without bringing a board of some sorts? Zero. When I go somewhere, I plan on doing something, and the more athletic/competitive the better. This will partially explain why I am almost always not tan, despite the fact that out of the 52 weeks in a year, I spend 48 weeks on a tropical island and at least two weeks in Florida. I can't stand just laying still for that long, without falling asleep. (And I'm not going to fall asleep at a beach again. I got lucky the one time it did happen. Walking away from that table while I'm ahead.)

So, when I come home for Christmas, and have nothing to study, and no job to work, I start thinking of things to do. Maybe it's just me, but I enjoy making projects for myself to do and seeing how they turn out. It keeps me busy and feeds my sense of accomplishment. As a side bonus, by keeping me busy doing something, it keeps me away from spending money on things I don't necessarily need. (Like the 20+ DVD's I bought over the break. That doesn't include the ones I got as gifts. This is what happens when the local Blockbuster closes and all their inventory is $5 or less. I buy movies simply to have them. The Soloist. Hackers. Reality Bites. Yeah, they're all on the shelf now. It's a little embarrassing sometimes.)

This time, however, I actually had been working on a plan for a couple weeks. To further commemorate my White Sox 2005 World Series Title, I have begun collecting baseballs from that series, signed by all 25 members of the team, and Ozzie. It has taken me a while to track down the 15 I already have. Some of the players will be excruciating to track down. Luckily, I have already been able to pick up most of the back-ups at reasonable prices and a couple of the stars at below average. This might take me years to complete, but it gives me focus on my leisure spending, which I need.

This leisure spending has given me a new problem. These 15 baseballs needed a home. I can't just line them up on the window sill. That would be an insult to the baseballs and to the team. So I built this during the first week I was back.

I know. Pretty fancy, huh. The glare is coming off the piece of plexiglass that I fit into the front of the case. It slides out so I can add new balls when I find them. Or straighten that one out on the third row. I bought a WS Champion patch off eBay and it'll be going in the center compartment behind the mini-trophy. A shrine truly fit to commemorate world domination.

Also, I 'finished' a project that I started about six months ago. In my life, I've attended a lot of sporting events. No really. Between collegiate and professional matches, pre-season, regular season and post-season, I've probably been to over 300 sporting events. And that's a low estimate. A while back I starting making a conscious effort to save the ticket stub. I would put it in my wallet, and whenever I was bored or feeling a little down, I could go to them and remember the good times. I would pull out the one from Yankee stadium, and remember watching Jeter and A-Rod take at-bats, or hear Rivera come out of the bullpen. I would look at the Twins game where Santana dazzled the opposition and the crowd. The Cubs spring training stub, where I got to see the great Leon Johnson before he made it big. (What do you miss most about him?)

Unfortunately, the stack began to be thicker then the rest of the wallet, so I had to take them all out. (As luck would have it, I lost that wallet not even a month after I pulled them out. I would have been catatonic if I had lost them. I could have cared less about the wallet, but those are things I can't replace.) For a while I wondered what I could do with them.
Then I remembered my roommate from Arizona. Cool guy. Not into sports really at all, but the man was deep into the music scene. He had been to more concerts than he can remember. So what he did with his ticket stubs was ingenious. And I copied him.

It hangs over my bed now. It contains tickets from games as far back as 1998 and as current as last week. And I love it.
Word.

This Whole Situation Is Incredibly Typical, I Should Have Seen It All Along

2010-01-01T20:28:00.006-07:00

Flying back to Florida right now. Delta is treating me right. Wireless Internet and directv in the headrests. Not bad flying accommodations. Only two regrets: 1, That I didn't charge the battery all the way, and 2, That the tv doesn't carry fox so I can't watch the sugar bowl. Basically, I watch the scroll on espn waiting for updates. It's not too bad, but I still have no clue how Florida botched the extra point after the first touchdown.
Looking back on the trip and it can only be described as successful. Truth be told, I have been thinking about whether or not I could make living in Utah a permanent thing. Mostly, it was to gauge my thoughts on cold weather climates. I grew up in an always warm region, and never experienced the cold until college. A backlash was inevitable. That, and no one likes having to walk through snow.
However, living in the climate challenged St. Maarten, I learned I wanted some seasonality in my life. The question was how much could I handle. First couple days did not buttress Utah's case. The last couple days more than made up for it though. The biggest difference was simply the sky. I couldn't stand it when the snow was coming down or when the clouds seemed to be really low. Made everything seem dreary. I don't do dreary. Once the skies cleared, 30' didn't feel so bad. The ice wasn't out to get me. It was a different world.
I'm sold. Of course, that doesn't matter much because I won't have an opportunity to freely relocate for another four years. But after that, I might have to point my wagon to the west and set up shop in the Rockies. Yes, it will still be cold, and yes, I will complain every year about it, but it's better than senses dulling monotony.
Do I even need to expound on the relative dating situations? No. I don't.
Since we're on the subject though, let's talk about dating. More specifically, let's talk about m
Mike's current issues with dating. Why Mike, you ask? Several reasons. First, because he has a situation and I don't have anything close to one. Second, I feel his plight is worth talking about. For the little tykes (Carder I'm looking at you) ear muffs. I'm not going to get crazy, but the term douchebag and it's various conjugations, will be heavily featured.
Why do so many girls knowingly date douchebags? Can anyone explain this? I understand the initial attraction of the rebel or dangerous guy. I get that. Heck, I try to use it in small doses. (Don't crucify me. We all know I can't sustain it beyond ten minutes, and it's pretty mild anyway.) What boggles the mind is why the girls stay with them, even after it is evident that the douchebaggery is never leaving. You want to know what you will never ever ever ever see? A guy sticking with a douchebaggy girl for more than three weeks. Won't see it. Ever. Ever. No, never.
Why? Good guys realize that a character trait that ingrained may attract your attention, but will never sustain your affection. And they cut bait. (It also should be noted that for girls, douchebaggery and craziness are synonyms. A guy will put up with some crazy at the beginning if he thinks it will quickly abate. If I doesn't, it's on to the next one.)
But that's the difference. Girls will stick with the dbag long after it's clear that it will never clear his system. And this is what leaves guys like Mike, and myself from time to time, in a fix. Too many good girls who think either that they can change the dbag, or worse, that they don't deserve any better. The second one, frankly, troubles my soul.
The first one irritates my reason like having peanut butter and jelly but no bread. It just makes zero sense.
And yet, it is a scene played out over and over in the courting community. As long as there are douche's and good guys in the same area, there always seems to be a quality girl making an absurd decision to go for the former even though she knows she should go for the latter. Ridiculous.
Word.
(Odds Mike reads this: 9 to 2 against. He would have to find it first.)

I Wish That I Could Fly Into Sky So Very High

2009-12-28T19:20:00.002-07:00

Watching star trek while experiencing turbulence definitely adds a new wrinkle to the film. However, there were two things in the movie that pleased me. First, they brought back the meaty arm slap as a means of saying hello between two guys. Love it. It just might have the ability to replace the fist bump. I like the fist bump, but feel that it has run its course. The meaty arm slap is fantastic.
Also, it soothes my soul to think that even thousands of years in the future, sabotage by the beastie boys will still be around and in moderate rotation. That is one of those songs that should endure millennia. Simply flawless.
It got me thinking though about what songs I would want preserved for posterity. Obviously Sabotage would front the list. Born to run would have to be on the list. (side note: had a professor come back from a Springsteen concert. Painfully, half the class had no idea who Springsteen was. My jaw fell so far, it almost hit the cadaver. Inexcusable. I blame their parents a little. Not much though.)
She loves you would be the entry from the beatles, just as satisfaction would represent the rolling stones. Say it ain't so, for me at least, is a song that divides people into two groups: those that like it, and my enemies.
I'll also grab superstition, and something recent like cry me a river (I don't think I have ever skipped that song. Ever. Plus, this past decade or so has been so pop heavy, I wasn't left with a lot of revolutionary songs.). Also, give me California love. Always gets everyone on the dance floor.
That's eight deep. Not enough for an album, but a good start. Any suggestions? Got to get at least to twelve to make a respectable set list.
Word.
PS. Posted at 10,000 feet. Believe it.

You're Frozen When Your Heart's Not Open

2009-12-27T17:34:00.002-07:00

Christmas has come and gone, and for all those wondering, yes, the tootsie roll bank made a triumphant return from it's year long hiatus. I do love those chocolate morsels. Like oreo cookies love milk.
Also, it means that the impending, possibly becoming "the annual", New Year's Eve trip out to Utah is upon us. For how much I hate the cold, and don't kid yourself, I really hate being cold, I'm thoroughly looking forward to this. And here's a short list why:
1. Wingers. Bar none, favorite restaurant. It did supplant Outback, although Outback still retains the "favorite restaurant where you feel slightly under-dressed wearing a T-shirt and jeans" title. I buy their sauce by the bottle, and put it on the McDonalds/Wendy's dollar chicken sandwiches. I'm telling you, you can't go back once you do this. No seriously. I tried eating one without the sauce and it was so bland I had to stop halfway through and get the sauce out of the fridge. I'm bringing it down to my rock for sure. The only question is how many bottles. International travel allows me to check two bags for free. There's a good chance that I might have one of them be solely Wingers' sauce.
2. The cold. Let me know when your head wraps around that. Ok, I'll clarify. I like coming in for only a handful days, getting a taste of it, enjoying what little things in it there are to enjoy, and then getting the heck out of it for the next 360 days. It's like watching "Roots" just to remind myself how good I have it. (Thank you Christopher Turk). Seeing the bad lets me know just how good I have it. For example: Ten day forecast for Provo has highs ranging from 27-37. For St. Maarten: 79-80. Fantastic.
3. Old friends. (Maybe I should have listed this one first, but retroactively we'll say that the list is not in favorite-order.) I do enjoy the people that I have met at Med School. I thoroughly enjoy most of them and look forward to meeting others. However, nothing replaces old friends. The memories, the inside jokes, the knowledge that you know them possibly better than they know themselves, and that they know you in the same way. Can't beat it.
4. New Year's Eve. Celebrating New Year's Eve in Florida has its perks, but it doesn't beat being around 100's of LDS people who are just out to have a fun time. If you haven't experienced it, I would recommend it.
So yeah, I'm pretty stoked about the trip. I'm about 73% of the stoke-age that I would be for Baseball's Opening Day, which, for something non-sports related, is ridiculously high. If you're going to be in Utah, drop me a line. I have a new cell-phone number which there is no chance of me posting it on this blog, but let me know and I'll get the number to you through some information outlet.
Bring a jacket. 27 is cold enough to make you forget your name.
Word.

There Were Days When The Sun Was So Cruel That All The Tears Turned To Dust

2009-12-10T21:15:00.005-07:00

I have a few personal axioms which have treated me very well. For example, early on I realized that cheese and/or bacon is always a good idea. No, think about it. Just about food served hot can be improved upon by adding cheese and/or bacon. I've done the testing for this. It's science. In fact the only way to make bacon better is to wrap it in another strip of bacon. And the only improvement of that is to melt cheese on top, and wrap another slice of bacon around it in the third direction. I call it Ambrosia, because it is food fit for deity.

Another one has been if it isn't announced or referenced on Sportscenter, I generally don't need to know about it. Sportscenter tells me who the newly elected president is. They let me know that the economy is having difficult times (unless you're Randy Wolf, the newest incarnation of Gil Meche. Definitely raising my sons to be lefties. There is no downside to this. None.). This is why I don't watch a lot, if any, news shows. I just don't need to. I get all my news spliced in between LeBron dunks and Pujols blasts.

However, I'm abandoning one. It has served me well, but it has been proven inaccurate. I never thought I would say this, but I kind of miss the cold. Now, don't misunderstand. I don't miss slipping on ice. I don't miss having my fingers and toes numb. I don't miss having the gum I leave in the car become 17 foil-wrapped pieces of blue slate. And I certainly don't miss watching my car spin out, glancing another car, a month and a half after I bought it.

I do miss the cold though. Mostly, I miss how it silently marked the passing of time. When the first snow came, I knew that Thanksgiving was coming and then the semester would soon be over. It also told me that I should really think about studying. It also was a subtle reminder that Christmas was around the corner and I should start thinking about gifts for the family.

Growing up in Florida, cold meant putting on a sweater. It meant I couldn't wear shorts anymore, and that maybe I should put on one of my two long-sleeve shirts. But at least it was a change. It broke up the 8 months of heat and reminded us that global warming hasn't taken full effect yet.

On this rock, it's mid-December, and still 80+ outside. It's very unsettling. My calendar tells me Christmas is two weeks out, but the sweat on my brow makes me think it's six months away. It's absurd, and I can't take it anymore. This four month hitch has swayed me more in favor of living in a colder climate than any other experience I've ever had.

So, this New Year's, like last New Year's, I'm trekking back up to Utah for the festivities. This is
starting to become an annual tradition that I'm perfectly fine with. I'll have to dig my coat out of storage and remember to pack a beanie, but I'm going North and I'm going freezing.

And I'll try my best not to slip.

Word.

Clowns To The Left Of Me, Jokers On The Right

2009-12-01T19:11:00.003-07:00

I need to say this because it needs to be said first. I'm not going to elaborate on it, because I would just rather let it go then rehash it. About a week or so ago, The Girlfriend and I broke up.
It wasn't easy, but we're both handling it well and moving forward. I realize some people may want to know more, but tough, they're not getting it.
(Abrupt Topic Change)
A family in the branch, one of the few, are leaving the island for good later this week. It's sad to see them go, but I understand, and am mostly sad because they get to return to a place where convenience is celebrated. A couple days ago, they gave me a large bag of candy. I can only assume that the contents are Halloween leftovers, but candy is candy, and it's only been a month max. Candy, especially hard candy, holds for months, and probably could hold for years, but I tend to eat it before it reaches that point.
The best part was the inordinately high jaw-breaker to other candy ratio. It had to be slightly better than 1 to 1. Thing about that. For every piece of Double Bubble, you also have a jaw breaker. Every caramel-apple-on-a-stick thing, another jawbreaker (You can tell I don't know how to write that word because I've already tried it three different ways and feel completely neutral on all of them.). It's fantastic. Why you ask? Because next to Tootsie Rolls and Caramels, jawbreakers have to come next in the pantheon of candies. They're a fantastic item. I mean, if you like your candy to have a consistently sweet taste, and to have it crank out that flavor for at least 30 minutes, than you're a jawbreaker fan.
I grabbed one heading out the door to class the other day. It was purple, and I got really excited because you just don't see a lot of purple ones. It also seemed to be a little bigger than normal, so I was even more eager to let it roam around my mouth. I popped it in, and the sky gathered darkness. A jawbreaker it was not. It was gum. And not good gum by any definition. Did it have flavor you ask? No. None. Could I blow a decent bubble with it? Less tension than Manny Ramirez on a day off (Then again, I'm not completely sure if Manny knows he even has days off. I just think he knows that sometimes he goes to the ball park to hang out and other times they ask him to see the ball and hit the ball.). The quality was so low, it stuck to my fillings. And I have more than my share of those.
I could not dispose of it soon enough. I was duped. Thought I was walking into paradise, wound up in torture. Then, last night I had the same thing happen again. Now I need to preface this next part a little bit with some personal history.
It's no secret I love Boy Meets World. If there was a test on all Boy Meets World knowledge, I could walk in right now and score a minimum of a 94%. I'm like 3 standard deviations above the average knowledgeable on the life of Cornelius Matthews. But more than that, I have grown to love the various side characters, like Franky the Enforcer, or his brother Herman. Fantastic. One of the tragic tales is that of one Stuart Minkus. You might remember him from season one, and his brief spot in the graduation episode of season 5. He was the nerdy guy who, for a school project, planned out the rest of his life, down to the corporate maneuvers he would make and the SEC paperwork that would need to be filed in order to accomplish them. He also had planned to marry Topanga, before Cory was even really interested in her. Well, we all know how that turned out. Thankfully, he was young enough that he could bounce back.
For unknown reasons, he relocated from the Philadelphia area over to a quaint town in North Carolina called Tree Hill. He also changed his name (and why he went from one to the other, I'll never know, because he didn't exactly trade up) to Marvin McFadden, and had acquired the nickname 'Mouth' by high school. He was no longer a lanky, stereotypical nerd, but also wouldn't be considered a top flight socially desirable specimen. He was just an average guy.
He however, was cursed with women issues here as well. One of the first girl's he likes, winds up really liking one of his best friends. Another girl essentially uses him, and then cuts him loose after a night of passion. A third has him on a string for years, but is always selecting others for ill-advised reasons. However, one came along that was a great fit for him. She was good looking, smart, funny, and a great match for his personality. Things had been going great for them for the better part of two years. Now however, she's become a cocaine snorting model who is so self-absorbed that she's throwing every friendship and relationship to the side.
It pains me to see the every-guy get trampled like this. I thought he was safe, which in turn gave me hope for things for me. But the rug was pulled out again from under him, under me, under us all. Why?! Why?! Hasn't he suffered enough? Let him enjoy one relationship in peace.
Lee Norris, aka Stuart Minkus aka Marvin 'Mouth' McFadden... I feel for you. Keep your chin up. Things will get better.
Word.

And She Can Transform Like Optimus Prime

2009-11-13T08:00:00.002-07:00

I was watching Saved By The Bell the other day, and it got me thinking. How did Slater get his classic fro-mullet hybrid to become the wavy doo that he sports today? There is no way his hair just magically changed overnight, right? So one of them has to be fake, and the other real. Which of course, leads me to which is which? Also, if his real hair is the wavy style, at what point in the Saved By The Bell casting process did someone say, "Well, that hair looks fine, but you know what would be better... a mullet! No, wait, a mullet made of a mini afro! How can that not sell his uber-heterosexual, all-state in four sports character?"
The only rational argument I've been able to pull together is that Zack had wavy hair, and so for those people who still might have been using a black and white tv, they had an easy way to separate the three main males. Then I thought, maybe it was an early 90's thing. Maybe, but no. Name me one other character from that era, (or any for that matter) that also sported the fro-mullet? Nothing for you either, huh. Interesting.
Do you think Slater (I refuse to call him by his real name, solely on the premise that names don't get much A) cooler, or B) appropriate than Slater was for his character. If you're named Slater and built like he was, people clear paths just at the sound of your name.) looks back and regrets the cumulative days he spent in the hair salon getting a perm every week? (How frequent would he need to have this re-done? I understand it's called a perm, but how long before his roots grew out and over threw the curly ends? And talk about and ugly transition phase. He would almost have to shave it all off and let it completely regrow.)
Also, did I spend a whole post talking about Slater's hair? Yes. Yes I did.
Word.

These Streets Will Make You Feel Brand New, Big Lights Will Inspire You

2009-11-11T07:19:00.003-07:00

I spent every year of college betting against the Yankees. And every year, I lost that bet. This year, I bet on the Yankees, and now, barring an absurd turn of events, I have come out victorious. It was far too close than it should have been- Mets, Mariners, Rockies, I'm looking at you- but alas, the victory was secured in the Inaugural "Inaugural Rick Russell Knows More About Baseball Than I Do" competition. (It should be noted, there was an entry better then mine, but since he didn't feel the terms were fair, he was unwilling to turn over the dollar upon failure, and therefore negated his opportunity to receive the crisp Grant portrait. Sad news for him, lucky news for me.)
Even though the major awards haven't been announced yet, based on the point spread and likelihood of my opponent picking up those points, it's all over but the shouting. The only way for me to have defeat snatched out of the jaws of victory hinges on Chris Carpenter, Albert Pujols, Joba Chamberlain and Josh Hamilton. If three or more of them win their respective awards, I'll lose. Now, Pujols is a lock, and Carpenter has a good case, and I think Lincecum will take it, but those other two...no chance. None.
And even chalking up those point to Jared, I would still win by 3 points. I know. Far closer then anyone expected, but there you have it. This is what happens when you don't care about the NL. He gained 34 points, not including individual awards, in NL related categories. That's a whooping. Now I know how Randy Johnson feels when he has to step in the batter's box.
So to Jared, you kept in interesting, but alas, have fallen short. You'll be getting an email with the spreadsheet. Consider this a notice that I'm looking forward to your inscribed dollar bill.
Word.
PS-I now understand why Mike is a Yankees fan. It's great to cheer for the favorite, especially when they win. Regardless, White Sox till the casket drops.

I Will Buy You That Big House, Way Up In The West Hills

2009-10-09T07:44:00.000-06:00

You want to know one of the best parts about moving somewhere? Having a whole slew of new facebook friend requests. Yes, it's petty and unbelievably superficial, but that's what makes it awesome. Go ahead, and tell me you aren't immediately intrigued and excited when you see that '1 new friend request', or better yet, the '2 new friend requests' icon at the top right corner. You are. We all are. We all like to know that people find us interesting and that people would actually like to get to know us. Of course, saying that sending out a friend request implies both or either of those is a stretch, but I don't care. I like to stroke the ego and take the opportunities that come to do so.

However, it does bring me to some of my more hypocritical moments. If you are my facebook friend, which I'm sure you must be because I have no clue how else you would even find this blog, then you know that the only things in the "Boxes" tab I have are lexulous, scramble and wordtwist. That's right. Three scrabble-esque, how many words do you know, games. And yes, I'm pretty good at all three. I still don't know how I lost that one game of lexulous, and truth be told, I think the other guy cheated (Sitterud beat me. Tell me he's not above using some website to come up with the best word possible from his tray. Go ahead. Don't mind my laughing. Continue.).

The point is, my profile beyond the interests tab, is about as blank as it can be. But I will tell you this. Whenever I get a new friend, the first thing I do is check out if they have bumper stickers and/or flair. I simply can't get enough of them. They kill me. And I have to look through all of them. Friend request from someone with 85 stickers and 75 pieces of flair at 12:45am? Guess I'm busy until 1:10 looking through them all. So what if I have a midterm tomorrow morning? I've got new stickers to look at! I'm busy here!

But you'll never see me put either of those up on my account. Ever. Mostly because I will likely add every single one that they have onto my profile. I would make an add-on that would simply stream the new ones onto my profile as soon as they were available. I would have them sent to my email and cell phone so I could see them as soon as they were hatched. And it would be an all-consuming activity for me. I simply can't afford it. It's the same reason I'm abstaining from reading the Harry Potter series. I know they're good. I simply don't want to sign off on a month or so of my life to knock the collection out. It might even be worth it, but I can't justify knowingly spending a month on a kid wizard.

Plus, it opens the door for the Twilight four-peat. I'll have none of that. Not now, not ever. I watched that first movie, and all I could think was, "Wow, this is some poor acting", "This seems horribly low budget" and "I'm so glad I'm never reading this". (It turns out that while the first and the last are subjective, the middle one is completely objective. The entire cost for the first film was about $37M, not including the sketchy marketing figures. To put that in perspective, 'The Devil Wears Prada' was $35M and 'Sweet Home Alabama" was $38M. And neither of those movies had special effects, and both had A-list actors and came off much more well done.)

So even though it is more than a tad bit hypocritical, I love the opportunity to see other people's favorite bumper stickers, but refuse to collect all of mine for others to enjoy. I just can't afford right now to start going down that road. There are too many time-dependent activities in my life that are marginally, if not substantially more important (e.g. med school). I'm sorry, but I just can't do it right now. Maybe in four years. Maybe.

Word.

I'm Gonna Muster Every Ounce Of Confidence I Have And Cannonball Into The Water

2009-10-02T07:59:00.000-06:00

It's taken me about a month, but I've determined that a large part of being successful at medical school is realizing what not to learn, in addition to what you should learn. For example, right now, there is some guy showing us how to do a field test to check on cranial nerve damage. It's somewhat interesting, but mostly irrelevant at this juncture. We have studied the cranial nerves, and do need to know their purpose, however, we don't need to know how to verify functionality. Hence, I've taken the time to run this post up, especially considering it has been almost a month since last updating.

A lot has happened in the past month. We've already taken one mid-term and are getting ready for the second one in about a week and a half. I've dissected more muscles and structures than a lot people could handle hearing about before lunch. (You never look at a face the same way again after peeling the skin off, yanking the brain out, and then cutting the skull into quarters like and apple. Same with arms. I don't see forearms, I see a group of muscles and how they interact to flex the fingers.) I've learned that the church can function relatively normally, even when there are only active 30 members. I've dealt with not having vehicular transportation at my fingertips. And I've missed The Girlfriend dearly.

Beyond that, life has been great. I'm enjoying my time here (as much as you can while studying ridiculous amounts). Right now, I'm getting ready to sign a lease for the upcoming year. I found a place that is really safe, nice and new, and only a six minute walk away. Pretty ideal. However, I was talking with an agent and they said they had one for $300 less a month in an area called Point Pirouette. This area is beautiful as it is surrounded by the lagoon on three sides and a the golf course on the other. But it's that golf course that is a problem. Around here, that is the most dangerous place to be at night. In orientation meetings, we were told that the first, second and seventh rules about going to school here were to avoid the golf course at night.

So living there would be a big problem if I had to walk through there. However, it is only about a 100 yards by water between the tip of the area and the school. I was genuinely debating whether it would be worth it to get a canoe and row back and forth between class, or spending a little extra for a motor. You figure saving $300 a month should offset those costs quickly. And worse comes to worse, I can swim that distance in a matter of minutes. Sure, I would need to bring a change of clothes as well as my books in a water proof container, but $300 a month?
It was very tempting, but I just didn't want to have to deal with that hassle. So I'll go to the nicer
place down the road.

Also, ask me how excited I am about the new RW/RR challenge "The Ruins" that premiered on Wednesday? Tremendously. My love for these shows is well documented, and this season does not seem likely to disappoint. I do have a dilemma with this one. I've been an Evan fan ever since he and Coral were dominating Fresh Meat. I still am, but part of me, the part I don't like to talk about at parties, secretly enjoys watching Wes try to wrest control from him and the others. And the fact that Kenny stole his fiancee (or is it fiance? What's the rule on this?) adds a whole new layer of awesome to everything. I'm very excited to watch this.

Well, that was all over the place.

Word.

I Need You Like A Penny Needs A Wishing Well

2009-09-06T19:17:00.000-06:00

In no particular order, here is a list of things that I have recently either found and love, or rediscovered and love:

1. Chocolate pudding cups. Wow. They're fantastic. Nothing cools you off after a long hot day like a couple chocolate pudding cups. Maybe it's a combination of the stroll down memory lane and the fantastic texture, all mixed with chocolotasticity, but it is fantastic. Easily the best purchase I made to start off the semester.

2. ESPN.com's fan passport. It's like a memory vault for every sporting event you've ever been to. You go in, find your MLB, NCAAF, NFL, whatever team, and then select the games you've been to, and it let's you jot a couple notes about it, and then rank the experience. Then it stores it for you so in case you ever need to pull it up (read journal, scrapbook, blackmail), it's there for you. Fantastic. I spent about 25 minutes making sure I had listed every baseball stadium I had been to, and every major sporting event I had attended. Some of the minor ones I left off, like I didn't list that I had gone to spring training games in the summer of 1993. But I definitely did. Many.

3. Skype. Ask me how much I pay to call all over the US as much as I want? $3. That's it. No joke. It's amazing. The hitch is that you have to be hooked up to the internet, but with wifi everywhere and a connection in my room, that's no problem at all. Need to ask the parents about travel arrangements? Done. Cougs just upset the #3 ranked team in the nation? Phone ringing off the hook. Issue with a credit card? Taken care of. From anywhere, to anywhere. $3. Beautiful.

4. Wearing a ball cap. Love it. I had gotten out of the habit of it for several reasons. I wouldn't wear it on days I had to work because I knew it would jack up my hair and I didn't want to re-do it. I didn't wear one on days where I had to act professional (ok, so that might be a stretch. More like on days that I had to interact with people and didn't want them to think I was an immature adolescent, and yes, this included trips to walmart), for much the same reason. And I rarely wore them on days when I was going to see The Girlfriend. I don't think that needs to be explained. However, here on my rock, other than class, there is no one I really need to impress. My classmates don't care anywhere near as much about fashion as people at BYU did (which I didn't really notice until I got here, but wow, Provo and Belmont in particular are ridiculously superficial. I fully believe that moving to Belmont ensured that I would graduate single.) so this Saturday I decided to go with my beloved Cal-State Fullerton cap. It felt like a slice of heaven, deep-fried and wrapped in bacon. Honestly, I think I'm going to make Saturday mandatory cap day and Sunday, after church, mandatory basketball shorts and T-shirt day. Done and done.

5. Boy Meets World. Cory, Topenga, Shawn, Eric, Feeny. I have seasons 4-7 on my laptop. It's like 100 episodes. Set for at least the semester. You want to bring a smile to my face, ask me about my deep and abiding love for Boy Meets World. Better yet, want to bring a bigger smile to my face, ask Mike about my deep and abiding love for Boy Meets World.

6. French Bread. It's what we use for the sacrament here. I know it doesn't change the ordinance, but it certainly is a little more incentive to get there on time.

7. The Oven. For years, (yes years) I had mocked Mike for using an oven for all of his heating demands. He'd put chicken nuggets in there instead of using the far more efficient microwave. It would blow my mind because I would already be half done with my meal by the time the oven had pre-heated. Give me convenience over quality was my motto. Lately, I've come to see his point. The taste comparison...isn't even a comparison. Made some chicken nugget parmigiana (go ahead, act like you couldn't see me doing this. My only question is, has anyone else ever heard of it? If not, I'm so calling it a new creation), and decided to use the oven. I figured if I had to wait for the noodles to boil, why not see how things turn out if use the oven. How, you ask? Fantastically. That's how they turned out. Now I'm hooked. I don't even have a baking sheet. I'm literally just laying aluminum foil on the rack and placing the meat on the foil. Clean up is a breeze and it tastes great. I'm sold.

Word

The Mate Was A Mighty Sailing Man, The Skipper Brave And Sure

2009-09-05T09:46:00.000-06:00

For the first time in over a year, I find myself back in a lecture hall. But this is nothing like BYU. For starters, the class is substantially more... diverse than any class I had at the Y, and this school doesn't have an athletics program. But most notably, I'm only in class for 5.5 hours a day at the most. Some days it's only going to be 3.5. That's it. I can't remember ever having a semester where I averaged under 6 hours of class a day, and the only time I had less than four hours of class a day was when I set my schedule around the idea of every weekend being a three day weekend (which, for those of you still in school, I highly recommend. It's worth the time and trouble to look into the possibility of scheduling all your classes Monday through Thursday. It would be even more worth it if you could get a couple people together to do the same. That way you all have the same stellar three day weekend every weekend. Believe me when I tell you, there is no where you can't get to, enjoy, and get back from in three days.)

It does make for light days, but it also has led me to study for more hours than I care to account for. It's not too bad, but I can easily see why some of the 4th or 5th semesters are just counting down the weeks.

Then again, we do live on a tropical island. A tiny, tropical island, but a tropical island nonetheless. How tiny you ask? This tiny:

Just the blob, not the whole square, represents the to scale size of the island. Amazingly tiny compared to anything else. But I'll take it.

Word.

Try Restaurants I've Never Been To, Order New Things Off The Menu

2009-08-26T21:08:00.000-06:00

So, I drove all the way from the west coast of my island to the east. Guess how long it took? 45 minutes. With traffic that seemed about as heavy as the roads could handle. I could loop the whole thing in about 1:30 I think. And that's not even in more car. In my car, I could run around the compass in an hour.

Which brings me to the main point I wanted to address. I really miss my car. No, like really miss it. (Not as much as I miss The Girlfriend, but almost.) Everytime I look around here I try to gauge how long it would take to get there and I always figure it out as though I was driving. Well, I'm not going to be driving, especially not my car. Bamboo shunt pain. I have spent my life driving at all possible opportunities. Need to go to the corner to get milk? Driving. Need to move a roommate across the apartment complex? Trunk is open. Need to pay for gas after filling up? I'm pulling into the parking spots near the door. (Yes, I have really done that. More than once.)

Now, it's all pedestrain means for me. I might even buckle and buy a bicycle. I have not rode a bike since the mission, and have vowed never to again. But, when church is an hour walk away, that's not really an option. I don't walk an hour for anything. I think the last time I walked for an hour was on the mission. And then I hated walking because I knew there were a host of better options.

So yeah, I really miss my car. Like really.

Word.

Everytime I Do It Makes Me Laugh

2009-08-26T20:55:00.001-06:00

Ok so I have to run a photo dump for the past couple weeks. I really don't think a lot of them need a lot of explanation, but here we go. Also, they're pretty much in reverse chronological order. Sorry, but not flipping them. But to give you a recap of where they were taken, in Photo order, I belive it is Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Boston, Baltimore, DC, and Philly. And that, along with 90+ hours spent driving around in my car, has been my August. Not kidding.

Word.

You Know That I Could Use Somebody

2009-07-29T14:26:00.001-06:00

I'm a tenderfoot scout. It is as low on the totem pole as it sounds. I've gotten some ribbing over it occasionally, but it is what it is. In my defense, they didn't have merit badges in baseball or contra so it didn't really draw me in. I enjoyed going to scout camp every summer and have sash full of merit badges to prove it, but I never did the little things to move up to the upper ranks. Little things like cooking a meal over a firepit, or camping X consecutive nights. To be honest, I don't see how any of that can be difficult. If a group of twelve-year-old pyromaniacs can execute it perfectly, surely I can handle it.

Went camping the other night. I know, it may be hard to believe, but it happened. Barely. Almost spent the night in the car. We pulled into the campsite around 11:30pm, and began setting up the tent using my car's headlights for illumination. We roll it, and stake it out and my brother slides one of the support poles through the top. He gets to lift it, and I realize that it would probably be a nightmare to slide the other one through with the top already arched. So we pull the other bar out and watch as it falls apart into about six pieces. The elastic cord that holds them all together had snapped about of third of the way down. It took over 30 minutes to re-thread them all, at one point I had to use dental floss and medical tape to get it all done.

So to you all you self-righteous eagle scouts (if they even exist), eat it. This tenderfoot got it done. I actually took a picture.

To tell you the truth, lately I have had too many things going on to allow me a significant amount of time to give anyone a full update on things, or formulate any extemporaneous ideas. That camping story came about because my brother and I went to Atlanta to watch the Braves get to Tim Lincecum and then caught Rascal Flatts and Darius Rucker perform their own songs as well as some old school Hootie and the Blowfish tracks. Drove up one night, caught the game, camped, drove down the next day and caught the concert on the way. You ask why, I ask, as always, why not.

The kicker is that it is only going to get more hectic over the next 17 days. In that time period I will drive over 4000 miles, traverse across 12 states, watch ball games in 5 different parks and makes two independent trips to the west coast of Florida. Oh, and then how about I pack up for a two week trip to two different islands, and then head off to a third to start medical school. Believe me when I say that I had to cancel a date night with The Girlfriend just so I could spend one night with my parents to celebrate my brother's belated birthday and talk about how things will be while I'm at school. Tonight is my last unplanned night for the next... I don't know really.

Needless to say, there are still stories that should be shared because funny stuff happens. And everyone needs a good laugh.

So, I'm at church with the Girlfriend, and in walks the former girlfriend. She was visiting a mutual friend that was in town for the weekend. Between Sunday School and priesthood, mutual friend and former girlfriend were in the lobby just chatting with people. I started talking with the mutual friend and looked over to see my granddad talking with the former. Now, you have to realize that there is nothing odd about my granddad walking up to unknown girls sixty years his junior and starting conversation.

After a couple minutes, I started heading into priesthood. Granddad had been talking with someone else for a little bit, but he shanghai'd me. He leads me over and introduces me to the former, calling her by a completely incorrect name. I gently tapped him on the shoulder, told him her real name, and told him, "I already know her. I know her pretty well."

He doesn't say a thing. Just flashes the old man Oops grin, turns and walks away. Hilarious.

It also should be noted that The Girlfriend became admittedly territorial upon seeing the former walk in. It was great.

Word.

So I Reached Out To Kanye And Brought You All My Dreams

2009-06-16T20:42:00.000-06:00

An angel lost its wings this past Friday. At the same time, another angel got theirs. I had a dream and had done an excellent job making that dream a reality. You see, I wanted to live my life so that I never, ever, mowed a lawn. Ever. I made it through my teenage years and my mission having successfully dodged numerous "opportunities" to mow a lawn. I can't begin to tell you how close things got. At least once, I was mere steps away from grasping the handles and laying waste to all things over 2" tall, only to be reprieved.

Last Friday, it all came to an abrupt end. I was working on a rental home my dad owns, and had spent the better part of the morning scraping both sides of some 30 panes of glass with a razor blade. It sounds about as much fun as it is, but unfortunately, nothing else was left for me to do besides mowing the lawn. Reluctantly, I grasped the handle I had spent the last 26 years of my life avoiding. (For the record, I did know how to both start and use the mower. It did take me a while to realize how to use the clutch, but nevertheless, I got the job done.)

And like that an angel fell. However, the celestial balance was restored almost immediately.

Even though I had never mowed a lawn, I knew that there was a technique used to optimized efficiency and aesthetics. I also knew that I didn't know it. But Mike does. I sent him a text asking him what pattern(s) I should run. I get back a series of ha ha ha's and then a phone call explaining to frame the yard a couple times than go across the middle with a snake pattern.

And an angel is born. You see, Mike had a dream that I would one day mow a lawn. Actually, he has a dream that I'll spend my life doing every manual labor job imaginable. Granted, in his dream I'm successful and still able to hold season tickets to the local baseball team, but manual labor it is. Let's just say, he might win small battles, but the war is mine.

Also, to bring finality to things, Florida State said no, so I'll be heading down to St. Martin's in the caribbean for medical school. I know, it will be rough spending the next two years or so in a tropical paradise, but I will have to manage. The school is called American University of the Caribbean, or AUC. It's on a rock 36 square miles big. That's like Provo and Orem. Maybe some Lindon thrown in. I'm pretty psyched about it to be honest. It's almost like a second mission, only I don't have to wear a tie, can call home when I want, and don't have to worry about a companion. Ok, so maybe it's nothing like a mission. Forget you. I think it is.

Word.

Did You Forget About Me Mr Duplicity

2009-06-05T09:12:00.000-06:00

"Paging Avril Lavigne. Paging Avril Lavigne. Please pick up the white courtesy phone for your message from jilted teenage girls."

So I was watching a show called Video Yearbook. It's on Fuse and it's fantastic. They show some of the most prominent music video's from a year, and the viewer cringes/applauds/dances along to what they used to love and illegally download. For example, 2004 included "I love the way you move" by Outkast. What happened to them? They had a slew of hits, and faded away after they made that movie Idlewild. Did anyone watch this? No seriously, I don't know anyone who at any point watched it. And yet, it clearly marks the death of one of the biggest bands from 2000-2004.

The 2004 show also included "So much for my happy ending" by the aforementioned Ms Lavigne (or Mrs Whibley, if you're on personal terms with her. At least according to IMDB. Want to see an impressive bio? Check out Avirl's on IMDB. Favorite part "One of her songs...is about an ex-boyfriend", implying that only one is about an ex-boyfriend.). She also had a solid career, but then dropped off the earth, save the out of character single "Girlfriend" which turned out to be the most downloaded song of 2007. (Really? Yeah, really. In the world. Not kidding. What type of aural garbage was being pumped out in 2007 that would allow "Girlfriend" to be the most downloaded song? Amazing, in a shameful way.) What I'm wondering, though, is what happened to the angry Avril that got her poster put on the wall of every girl aged 14-20 who just lost a boyfriend? Every five to ten years it seems someone like her comes along. Before Avril was Alanis Morrissette, who won six grammy awards for writing angry songs about past relationships.

My question is, who's today? Is there someone filling that musical void? That is a money reservoir that needs to be tapped. The closest person to filling that would be the country artist Miranda Lambert, but even she doesn't fit the profile, nor fill the need. Of one thing I am certain, and that is that there is a generation of teenage girls getting their hearts broken and being forced to play 5-10 year old songs to fully express their anger about it all. Those songs are probably sufficient, but none of them deal with today's relationship nuances. None have to deal with texting, facebook, myspace, twitter, or even email. Really? No break up songs about being dumped via electronic means? Now that is a gap that needs to be closed. If I was a music producer, I would be on the street tomorrow looking for some girl around age 18 who had just a little bit of edge, and then have my cadre of writers prepare some songs with a hint of vitriol. It's a no-brainer.

Word

Look What You've Done To This Rock And Roll Clown

2009-05-27T11:32:00.000-06:00

So, I was given some static for not mentioning that Jared was on the trip. Here's why: I didn't have any pictures of him at the time. Now I do. So let's review the blessed time that Jared spent in St. Louis. For starters, we found the only Jimmy John's in the known world to close before eleven, forcing us to find a steak n' shake for Friday night. Funny story about that.

We sit down and a group gets seated next to us. They consist of about three guys, who the smart money would put as gay, and one elderly woman who reminded me of what Cruella Deville might look like when she hit her seventies. Anyway, we finish and were on our way out, and one of the guys asks Jared to play the crane game for the old lady. He politely turns it down. However, I over hear it, and turn to face them. Next thing I know, I'm getting dollar bills thrust into my hand to try and win stuffed animals in a crane game. I wish I could tell you I was successful, but alas, I was not. Four tries, zero victories.

The next day, we went to the Cardinals game. And it was awesome. Opposite of this photo. We gave the camera to a teenager who's gender was indeterminate. They took stared at the screen, and squeezed the trigger without any warning, freezing this frame forever. Thanks.

Thankfully, we had enough time to give the camera to someone who knew what they were doing, who took that picture. You'll notice it's essentially the same as the one above it, without all the suck.

That night, I questioned whether Jared was my friend or not. It was a dreary evening. The type that makes you wonder if the sun will ever rise again. We strolled into a bowling alley straight out of the sixties. (Really cool place to bowl. Would highly recommend it to all in the area.) I should let you know that I'm not a fan of the 60's in general. This should have been a sign that things were not going to go well.

Also, it needs to be noted that prior to this evening, I had dominated the head-to-head competition with The Girlfriend. Something like 9-1. Not even close. Needless to say, I was not concerned about beating her again. We bowled the first game, and by the fifth frame, I knew that A) I was playing horribly, and B) I was going to lose to The Girlfriend. Of course, that only means we're bowling a second game so I can regain my throne. Here's where things get bad.

I started off weak, but caught back up in the late frames. I finished the tenth frame and sat down comfortably with a 20 pin lead. The Girlfriend was up next. Jared leans over to me and says that all she needs is strike-strike-one to beat me. Now, my friends love me, and I love them. However, they really love to see me lose. A lot. Like, Jared was high fiving The Girlfriend after every strike and spare. I participated in no such celebrations.

Hence it came as no surprise, and I had done the same math on my own, that Jared figured out exactly what was needed to beat me. The Girlfriend had bowled decent, but was flirting with the 100 mark, so clearly thinking that she would get more than 20 in the tenth was a bit extreme. I figured 20 was the best she would do and we would walk away in a tie. She rolls the first ball, and its a strike. No big deal. I'm a little nervous, but even blind squirrels find nuts every now and then. The second ball gets rolled, and again all ten drop. Now I'm bewildered. I know that she has rolled a gutter ball before, but why would she do anything other than just safely roll it down the middle. Accepting a good loss, I already had my shoes off when she let the third ball go. What does she do? Does she go down the middle and pick up six or seven? No. Of course not. She picks off the ten pin and the ten pin only. Strike-Strike-One. To win by one. Simply beside myself. The other four going nuts. Again, all my friends love to see me lose. This sick turn of fortune over shadowed Jared's 170 or so, and everyone remembered the XX1 that was recorded. So much so that I was texted it. Twice. I wanted no part of anything that had to do with that episode.

Coolest statue I've ever seen. If they had miniatures, I would have one already. Even the horse was fat. Loved it.

Word.

But You've Got To Learn To Reach Out There And Grab It

2009-05-26T09:42:00.000-06:00

Just got back from a great trip to St. Louis. Quite a whirlwind thanks to an assortment of activities and dining locations. Big kudos to Brett and Brittney for not only chaffeuring us around the town, but showing us the places otherwise left unseen by casual vacations. I don't normally do this whole picture show thing. Mostly because I don't normally take pictures. However, Brittney has sent me a little over a dozen, and The Girlfriend has a host of them that I'll get from her later. Hence, I'll share those from my sister now, and the rest later.

So we went to the Arch, but there was quite a line. Needing to kill roughly an hour, we went to the museum of Missourian history attached to the Arch. Let's just say, don't change plans to attend this place. It was quaint and informational, but could have been infinitel better if they would just let you ride the Bison, or other assorted display animals. Where's the harm in that? I say none.

Something about the arch, for those of you that haven't been. If you have any claustraphobia, avoid this site. You ride up in a cylinder on its side that can't be more than four feet deep and six feet in diameter. With four other people. Up 60 stories. To a railway car with tiny windows. That sways in the wind. Stuffed with 80-100 people. Nightmare waiting to happen.

Luckily, neither of us were claustraphobic, so it was great. We then traipsed over to Soldier's Monument for Rib Fest. I know. A celebration of meat on a bone, how could I not attend. Easily, the best ribs I've ever had. Hands down. Fantastic. Should have figured out how to have them mailed to me.

Ok, let's be real. Like I would plan a vacation during the summer of fall to some city that didn't have a ballclub, or that I would go there and not attend a game. Really? Do you not know me? I planned St. Louis for two reasons. One- My sister lived there, and I've never visited her since she moved there. Two- The Cardinals were in town that weekend. No brainer really. Nice to see the Royals get beat.

Best, maybe second best to the game, part of the trip was the various dining locations Brittney and Brett took us to. I have this thing. When I travel, I refuse to go to chain restaurants unless I have to for safety or sanitary reasons. Why go to some new place if you're not going to try the local cuisine? Seems like a bit of a waste to me. Knowing this, we never went to a place that had more than a handful locations, and most of those were still in town. Perfect. Great food all over that town. Big ups to the local recommendations.

Word.

Inhale, Exhale, Heard Your Clientele Doing Well

2009-05-22T18:17:00.000-06:00

Next name that I'm crossing off the list of people I saw play: Albert Pujols. Tomorrow, if you're in the St. Louis metropolitan area and feel like spending some time at a premiere sporting event, you can join me, the girlfriend, the sister and Jared at the Cardinals-Royals game, cheering wildly for the home team.

Ok, I need to clarify a little. I have already seen The Machine play. But it was back in his rookie season of 2001. I was in San Francisco and by happenstance the Giants were playing them over the same weekend. So yeah, in one game, I saw McGwire, Bonds, and Pujols.

Now it is hard to say that I didn't see him in top form, considering he's been ridiculously, consistently good since he laced it up the first time, but now he is simply amazing. Why pitchers pitch to him I'll never know. In all honesty, I think I would let Santana pitch to him, and that's about it. Everyone else, just roll it four times. He will beat you. He's just that good. And so help me, if he test positive, it would just make me sick.

Which brings me to Manny. Easily, his positive result was the most painful to take. I hoped that we had turned the corner and the steroids era was either A) coming to a close, or B) fading back into the shady background. And either is fine by me. No really. I take them both as the same, and have no particular preference. As long as I don't have to hear about it, I'm fine with it. Let it die.

Word.

It's Amazing, I'm the Reason, Everybody's Fired Up This Evening

2009-05-12T10:09:00.000-06:00

So I have a more pressing point that I will spend the bulk of this post addressing, but first I feel obligated to posit the following theory:

Tiger is on the decline and will not eclipse Jack Nicklaus's record of 18 career majors.

Now, some might say this is premature. And it likely is, but I'm a man who is apt to go out limbs, prone to leap without looking, (For the sake of all things good and holy, go watch Star Trek. I'm by no means a trekkie, but that movie was absolutely phenomenal. It went perfectly right by staying away from the intricacies about how warp drives work or how time-space is woven, and stayed with simple characters following a simple plot. There's a good chance I'll catch a matinee sometime this week. You should too.) and so I have made some early calls. However, in the first couple months of this PGA season, I am yet to see anything resembling the Tiger of old. His shots are erratic. His focus is shaken, and his competitive drives seems diminished. I hope he re-tools his swing, but even that might not be enough. Remember, he went through essentially reconstructive knee surgery. This is not a hang nail. It's the knee that made Augusta lengthen the course. Countless athletes are forced to hang it up because they can't come back like they were.

Thankfully for Tiger, his B game is better than 95% of the tour's A+ game, so he doesn't need to come back full strength to win, but I don't think he'll come back enough to win another five majors. I simply don't believe it.

But here's what I wanted to spend some time on. I was watching tv with the girlfriend, and on came the trailer for "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past". She turned and said something to the effect of, "that looks like a good movie. We should go watch it." I looked to her and said that if she wanted to go see it, that that was great. I however, would not be sitting next to her. She was a little dismayed, so I had to tell her why. "I'm done with Matthew McConaughey romantic comedies. I've seen all he has to offer, and I am not particularly fond of it. I'm done with him."

And I am. I really am. I loved How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but all of his other efforts are weak at best. As far as I'm concerned, his talent well has ran dry. Obviously, to say I wouldn't go to the movies with the girlfriend wasn't for real, but she believed it, (and might be a little upset that I'm saying now that I would have actually gone to it with her. Conveniently, I was out of town for it's release weekend, so I never had to deal with the issue, but I clearly have given myself a new issue to deal with) and hence, went to see it with a friend. I don't think I'll watch it at all. Possibly ever.

This leads me to the following two lists: the actors who's movies I will never watch, and those who's I will always watch. The second one, regretfully for my wallet, is significantly longer. This is because actors who I don't like, tend to be poor actors, and quickly wind up unemployed. Regardless, I feel it good to put these lists out there as well as a couple of guys who are teetering on the edges of these lists. And for clarification, these are all time dependent, meaning I will only avoid/attend their movies released from now on.

The Matthew McConaughey Miserables:

Matthew McConaughey, Sylvester Stallone, Johnny Depp, Jordana Brewster (she is horrible, and not that hot when compared to other hollywood-ites. She would blow normal people away, but she has set herself apart from normals and has done so to her detriment), and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Those who just might fall in: Hugh Grant (show me something new), Eva Longoria (see Brewster above), Kevin Costner (his baseball movies are keeping him out), Jessica Biel, and Will Ferrell (To his credit, he always delivers what you expect him to, but that's it. He's going to have a couple of lines from each movie that people are going to quote for months, but that's mostly because of it's non-sensical nature. He seems like a less intelligent Vince Vaughn, which says something. He has one character, and I'm quickly getting tired of it.)

I simply don't enjoy the product these people put out.

The Harrison Ford All-Stars:

Harrison Ford (Although that last Indiana Jones really hurt him), Will Smith (he gets my $8.50 without question), Simon Pegg, Matt Damon, Tom Cruise (I don't care if he's crazy, he's great on the screen),Leo DiCaprio, Justin Long, Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts.

On the fringe: Shia LeBeouf (did he make an Even Stevens movie, because if so, that might his only blemish on an otherwise impressive resume), Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Reese Witherspoon and Christian Bale.

Sure, they may not be perfect, but they're pretty close. I do love them, and I support them with my finances.

Word.

Blame It On The Goose

2009-04-21T13:37:00.000-06:00

Watching Tommy Boy, and almost laughed off the couch during the opening scene where that fat kid who only has like five lines drills the sliding glass door. How awesome is this movie? I say a solid 9.8 out of ten. Still the funniest movie I've ever seen. I sure do miss Chris Farley. Nobody could fall through a coffee table like him.
So, two weeks into the season, and I'm already embarrassed I picked the Yankees to go beyond September. Looks like another season with fingers crossed over Phil Hughes's development.
Let the world rejoice with the resuming of Real World/ Road Rules: The Duel. It looks like another season of top notch competition and sluttery. My favorite part of this season, the fact that Bill Simmons dedicates about 20 minutes of his weekly podcast to discussing it. I was driving to Tallahassee and absolutely dying listening to it. Honestly, laughing so hard I was slapping the steering wheel and wiping away tears. Priceless.
Which I guess brings me to the most pivotal event of the past two weeks for me. I had an interview with FSU's medical school. I think it went really well, but won't find out until the end of this week at the earliest, and about a month from now at the latest. If I don't get accepted there, I have been accepted to the American University of the Caribbean School of Medicine, and will start there in the fall. It's a good school, and is on the island of St. Maartens, which I'm told is lovely. Hopefully though, I'll get into the FSU and not have to worry about going abroad for school.
Wow, this has been pretty incoherent and disjointed. Mostly, I'm slapping something up here because my girlfriend asked me to. She's awesome, so I'm willing to forgo my typical writing process in order to get this posted. Enjoy.
Word.

You Gon Sweat Your Outfit Out Trying To Dance Like Me

2009-03-16T00:01:00.000-06:00

It's been celebrated, anticipated, and for the past month feared, but at long last here it is. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 2009 Baseball Predictions. This also doubles as the house's entry in the "Rick Russell knows more about baseball than I do" contest. Print it out. Put it on your wall, and watch the prognostications become reality. I'll give the overviews first, and then the actual numbers all together at the end.
To the American League first, the East in particular.
How about them Rays! For the first time since Jeter put pinstripes on, he was watching October baseball on his couch. That's right, every year from 1995 the Yanks were in the playoffs until last year, when the Rays surprised everyone, including their momma's. So what do the Bronx Bombers do? Only what they do best. Go out and get the best talent on the market. Sabathia, Texeiria, and even Burnett. And, they'll still be spending less this year than they did for the 89 win stinker they put up. Now, why did they end up with that few wins? Simple. Kennedy and Hughes were nowhere near what they had been hyped to be. Not even close. I said last year that they should have shipped them both for Johan paid that man his money, and I still say they should have done it. They would have made the playoffs easily, and the way things shake out, probably be celebrating A-rod's first title. (Side bar, had they won, and then the A-fraud/Yuri Sucart scenario unfolded, what a nightmare would that have been?)
Needless to say, they will be a contender all season long this year. The Rays won't be sneaking up on people, but still will be strong as they've kept their entire rotation, added Jason Isringhausen (yes I know he's on the decline and has been for years, but it's a great veteran presence for a very young staff) and Pat Burrell. Boston has been caught asleep at the wheel if you ask me. They should have done what was necessary to get Tex, even if that means moving Youk to third and benching Lowell. The Blue Jays and the Orioles... best of luck in the most loaded division in baseball. In the end, I'm giving this to, and yes it pains me to type it, the Yankees, followed by the Rays, Red Sox, Blue Jays and Orioles.
Central Division
A round of applause for the division champions White Sox. Good, now they need to get back to work. Kenny Williams, I'm looking at you. The usually active Sox have been extremely quiet this offseason. With only one trade and one signing, everyone, once again, is in the dark as to what the GM has in mind. The only concern is that I have no idea what they can do at this point in the year. A lot of big names are off the board, and a couple of the notable free agents are trying to earn contracts in the World Baseball Classic (The Netherlands?? Twice over the Dominicans? Really? I would have bet that Mike would buy a Carl Pavano jersey before that happened) but nothing seems promising, hence the Bartolo Colon signing. I kid you not, I'm raising my boys to be big league pitchers. As long as you can consistently hit 92 on the gun, it doesn't matter what you look like or what you've done before, you'll always have a job.
That smell in the room, that's the turd the Tigers laid last season. They made the biggest move in the offseason and dealt the bulk of their prospective talent for Willis and Cabrera. And wound up with 74 wins in dead last. Yikes. Cleveland was saved by Cliff Lee's ridiculous season from being the butt of all Central jokes. I'm not expecting a repeat performance by him. The Twins had a great team, but lost the division in the 163 game of the season. Now they've upgraded at third by picking up Joe Crede, but beyond that, much of the same for the Twinkies. Good, not great.
I'm taking the White Sox, then the Indians, Twins, Tigers, and Royals, in a close division.
West
When you win your division by 21 games, it's hard to say that any improvement made by other teams can close the gap. The Angels did lose K-rod, but Fuentes is a solid replacement. They also picked up Abreu, who is an upgrade over Garret Anderson in right. In the end, I call that a wash, but will have to take off a couple wins because the anomaly that was K-rod's saves record will not be repeated. Oakland, in what can only be described as anti-moneyball moves, acquired Giambi, Holliday, and Orlando Cabrera, all substantial upgrades. Is it enough to close the gap? I say no. Seattle gets Junior back (and if you don't know who I mean when I say Junior, I'm sorry for you. You truly have been deprived of one of the most celestial things) which should help ease the pain of watching everyone else on this team not named King Felix or Ichiro. How'd that Erik Bedard deal work out for you? Not good, huh? Texas has the great story of Josh Hamilton, but that's all they have. You don't win a division with a story. You can lose one, but you can't win one.
Give me the Angels, then the A's, Rangers, and Mariners
National League
East
To call the Phillies a fluke is not accurate. They played well and were in the right position for the past two years. It reminds of me of when Nick Faldo won the Master's because Greg Norman choked away a six stroke lead with 14 to play. Yeah, Faldo played well, but what mattered more was that Norman simply fell apart. As did the Mets. Just. Fell. Apart. I had no vested interest in that team, but it did make me hurt a little to watch it just slip away again after the nightmare of 2007. So what do the Mets do? Fix their shoddy bullpen. Twice. K-rod and JJ Putz come over to give them the best bullpen in the league. The Phillies return just as strong and ready to do some damage again, I just wonder if they have enough left in the tank after last year. We haven't a repeat champion since the yankees in 1999-2000 and haven't had a team go to the series in back to back years since the yanks in 2000-2001. And I don't see the Phillies ending that streak. Atlanta added a couple veteran arms, which should help, but not enough to become a contender with NY and Philadelphia. The Marlins are going to be my, not this year, but look out next year squad, just as the Rays were last year. They've got young talent and it's really starting to turn around. If their pitching can match their offense, they will take this division. I just don't think it will... this year. The Nationals... they're awful. I've watched a couple spring training games, and am wondering if they're holding tryouts. I think I could make their Double-A team.
Mets, Phillies, Marlins, Braves, Nationals
Central
The Cubs are still the premier team in this division, even despite the loss of Leon Johnson. The rest of this division is going to be battling closely for second. Except for the Pirates. They're battling against contraction.
Cubs, Cards, Astros, Brewers, Reds, Pirates.
West
Ask me how much I love Manny Ramirez. Bottomlessly. Everything he does entertains and excites me. I'll say it now, he should be MLB TV's first reality star. Manny being Manny. That's watch it live while you DVR it good.
Dodgers, D-backs, Giants, Rockies, Padres.
It's not obvious I care more about the American League than the National League is it?
Playoffs
ALDS
Yanks-White Sox (Yanks in 5)
Angels- Rays (Wild Card) (Rays in 4)

NLDS
Cubs-Dodgers (Dodgers in 4)
Mets-Cards(Wild Card) (Mets in 3)

ALCS
Yanks over Rays in 6

NLCS
Mets over Dodgers in 5

World Series
Yanks over Mets in 6

Individual Awards

All-Star Starters (in order around the diamond)
AL
Sabathia, Mauer, Tex, Pedroia, Arod, Jeter, Sizemore, Ichiro and Vlad
NL
Hamels, Russell Martin, Fielder, Utley, Wright, Reyes, Soriano, Manny, and Cameron Maybin

Cy Young
AL- Sabathia
NL- Hamels

MVP
AL- Tex
NL- Manny

ROY
AL- Elvis Andrus
NL- Cameron Maybin

Number of wins for each team
Yankees 98
Rays 97
Red Sox 92
Blue Jays 83
Orioles 68

White Sox 89
Indians 82
Twins 81
Tigers 80
Royals 68

Angels 96
A's 88
Rangers 80
Mariners 64

Mets 93
Phillies 86
Marlins 82
Braves 79
Nationals 57

Cubs 95
Cardinals 88
Astros 85
Brewers 81
Reds 71
Pirates 61

Dodgers 88
D-Backs 83
Giants 73
Rockies 71
Padres 68

Get your dollars bills out and your pens ready. Word.

Here's A Long Evasive Story, Of Failed Hopes And Glories

2009-02-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

I'm dressed in a button up and tie, looking pretty good, if I say so myself. I look around what appears to be a grand foyer and notice a couple other people, all of whom also dressed professionally. Instantly, I know I'm not at work, but at school. Make that at a school. It's not BYU because I have been in every building in that campus and this doesn't resemble any of them. However, I'm not concerned with this seeming lapse of awareness.
A similarly dressed guy, roughly my age, is sitting next to me. He seems pleased with himself over something, and oddly, I feel the same sense of accomplishment. I make small talk, and eventually we both get up to leave, again, for no particular reason. Then comes the moment that I still remember as vividly as anything.
Me: So what brings you here?
Him: Medical school interviews. It's why we're all here.
Then, instead of rejoicing, I hang my head, and realize it's a dream. I start moving faster, frantically looking around for something to let me know that it was real, but I know all too well it's a dream. Suddenly, the sun fades a little, the walls become blurry. I start to say "This has to..." but then reality creeps in and I finish the sentence "be a dream" staring at my ceiling fan.
Easily, one of the most depressing ways to start off a morning.
When you realize your goal can only be found in dreams, it's an accomplishment to get out of bed that morning. That morning was about a week ago. I went back and forth over how to share this, or even to share this. In the end, it was 12:15am impulse that led me to the keyboard and resulted in this post. I wish there was some more poignant or rational reason, but there really isn't. And if you're reading this, that shouldn't be too much of a surprise to you.
Here's the point. I'm in the bottom of the ninth of my game against med school admissions, and I'm behind. No one knows better than me that technically, I could get called in for an interview in April, or even possibly May, but the realist in me says that if nothing happens by the end of the month, it's time to create new dreams. Ones that can be satisfied in the real world.
Pray for me.
Word.