Wow, a whole month huh? After I had turned out three in consecutive weeks. I'm sorry. I feel like I got your hopes up for some sort of regular turnaround time, and then completely destroyed it. Truthfully, I hoped to be able to turn one out a week, but I kid you not, this med school stuff ain't no joke.
But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here because Mike and I made another wager. We make a lot of them. Surprisingly, the one thing we haven't wagered on is girls. I'd love to say it's because we're gentleman and that doing so would be uncouth, but odds are its because we never could think about how to quantify things.
The most recent bet, and one that makes me a little giddy at the prospect of winning, concerns Dustin Pedroia and Robinson Cano. They are the second baseman for the Red Sox and Yankees, respectively. Looking up their stats, aside from this year where Cano has been performing well above his career averages and Pedroia has been on the DL for extended periods of time, Pedroia has been better. By almost every metric. So what's the bet? Who will be better during the 2011 and 2012 seasons? He's got Cano, of course, and I've got Pedroia.
That's the boring stuff. Here's the good stuff. If I'm right, Mike has to refer to Pedroia for an entire year solely as the "2008 AL MVP". He currently refers to him in language that is...colorful. Not tasteless, but I would think twice about using it over the pulpit. I probably would still use it, but that's why I'm not the Elder's Quorum President (which, coincidentally, is the reason I would use it over the pulpit). Additionally, he will have to refer to Cano solely as "Buster Olney's hump buddy". I'm already trying to see if there is a way I can get my hotmail account to send out a message every morning asking him about how Cano and Pedroia did, just so he has to respond using their new names.
Hopefully, I can talk him into making a slapbet. If you're not familiar with this term, go watch How I Met Your Mother, Season 2, Episode "Slapbet". It is worth your 22 minutes. Even if you've never seen an episode of this show, you will find yourself on the floor laughing. Admit it. Just reading the word 'Slapbet', an intrigued smile crept across your face. Check the mirror.
There it is. It is just as good, possibly better, than you imagine it to be.
I wish I had more to say, but I've been hitting the books hard for the past week and will likely continue to do so until after finals on the 17th. You have no reason to expect a post between now and then. However, there'll probably be one during the week after finals. I'm sure something will be worth writing about.
Lastly, going to Florida for a week after finals and then Utah for a week right before coming back for the next semester. Let me know if you'll be in either location.
Word.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
A Moment, A Love, A Dream Aloud
Three things I want to do sometime in my life:
1) Throw food, full bore, at the TV over something. I'm not one to get angry. For all the passion I live with, I don't really get angry. Can you think of a time when I was really angry? It's a short list. But still, every time I see someone do this on TV or in a movie, I think "That's awesome. I wish I could do that." Oh, and then have someone and clean that mess up.
It's also something that I feel have to do real soon. When I leave this island, I'm going back to my nice TV. I wipe that thing down with special wipes. Kind of like the Armor All ones for your dash, but built for electronics. The only things I will ever throw at that baby are taunts and cheers, depending on how my team is doing.
2) Have something decided by a huge wheel. Like Wheel of Fortune, Price is Right or Bozo's Grand Prize Game At Home Player big. I want to spin something that requires a full body motion, and have it mean something more than whether I'm going to get a magnetic baseball team schedule, or a bumper sticker. This goes along with my idea to get one of those lottery ball air shooter things to help me determine which random movie I'm going to watch that night. (Think of it, instead of endlessly scanning over the boxes, you just create a ping pong ball that has the movie's cover art on it. You just turn the sucker on, and pull the release. Whatever pops up, you watch. Buy a new movie, make a new ball. Get rid of movie, throw out the ball. Thinking about it, all you would really need is a hair dryer, a 5 gallon water jug, a good amount of ping pong balls, a couple strong rubber bands, and a utility knife. Two full days, and this is done.)
Back to the wheel though, The most readily one that I could think of would be a "Where to eat?" wheel. The Price is Right wheel has 20 spots. I can name 20 restaurants off the top of my head that I frequent. (Yes, I definitely eat out at least 20 times a month. What of it?) Start to feel some hungus coming on, step up to the wheel and let it rip. It would be like the Urbanspoon app, but way cooler because it's a tangible wheel, with a five foot diameter, and the thing that makes the click sound.
I know what you're thinking. Couldn't you just spin the wheel until you got to one you wanted? Oh, you underestimate my resolve. First spin gets it. The only exceptions would come in if there was some sort of medical condition that would rule out a choice. say I'm going out on a date, and I know she's allergic to sticky fingers (I don't know why I would even bother dating someone with this condition, but for hypothetical's sake, go with it), I would know better than sticking with Wingers. (I would definitely take a date to Wingers. Heck, I would have my wedding luncheon there if the future wifey cleared it. It's a classy place. Some people even dress up for it.)
3) Get my own baseball card. Turns out, for the past two years Topps has been putting codes in their card sets. The first person to crack it got themselves inserted into the next year's set. Two things: Why didn't they do this from 1990-1995? I would have been in at least one set, if not three. The only thing that would have held me back was the cash flow to get the cards, but I guarantee you, if you told me that my card could wind up sandwiched between Frank Thomas and Alex Gonzalez (I wanted to put Ken Griffey, but they never put two all-stars one right after the other), I would become the youngest donor at the blood bank ever. I would have learned how to mow a yard at age 9 instead of 26.
Now that I could financially buy baseball cards by the box, I'm genuinely thinking about giving it a whirl when I get back to the states in 2011. Last year's code was cracked in 72 hours. I figure this year's will take four days, and when I step up next year's it would take probably a week. Yeah, I can do that. Completely worth it to get my own legit baseball card.
Word.
1) Throw food, full bore, at the TV over something. I'm not one to get angry. For all the passion I live with, I don't really get angry. Can you think of a time when I was really angry? It's a short list. But still, every time I see someone do this on TV or in a movie, I think "That's awesome. I wish I could do that." Oh, and then have someone and clean that mess up.
It's also something that I feel have to do real soon. When I leave this island, I'm going back to my nice TV. I wipe that thing down with special wipes. Kind of like the Armor All ones for your dash, but built for electronics. The only things I will ever throw at that baby are taunts and cheers, depending on how my team is doing.
2) Have something decided by a huge wheel. Like Wheel of Fortune, Price is Right or Bozo's Grand Prize Game At Home Player big. I want to spin something that requires a full body motion, and have it mean something more than whether I'm going to get a magnetic baseball team schedule, or a bumper sticker. This goes along with my idea to get one of those lottery ball air shooter things to help me determine which random movie I'm going to watch that night. (Think of it, instead of endlessly scanning over the boxes, you just create a ping pong ball that has the movie's cover art on it. You just turn the sucker on, and pull the release. Whatever pops up, you watch. Buy a new movie, make a new ball. Get rid of movie, throw out the ball. Thinking about it, all you would really need is a hair dryer, a 5 gallon water jug, a good amount of ping pong balls, a couple strong rubber bands, and a utility knife. Two full days, and this is done.)
Back to the wheel though, The most readily one that I could think of would be a "Where to eat?" wheel. The Price is Right wheel has 20 spots. I can name 20 restaurants off the top of my head that I frequent. (Yes, I definitely eat out at least 20 times a month. What of it?) Start to feel some hungus coming on, step up to the wheel and let it rip. It would be like the Urbanspoon app, but way cooler because it's a tangible wheel, with a five foot diameter, and the thing that makes the click sound.
I know what you're thinking. Couldn't you just spin the wheel until you got to one you wanted? Oh, you underestimate my resolve. First spin gets it. The only exceptions would come in if there was some sort of medical condition that would rule out a choice. say I'm going out on a date, and I know she's allergic to sticky fingers (I don't know why I would even bother dating someone with this condition, but for hypothetical's sake, go with it), I would know better than sticking with Wingers. (I would definitely take a date to Wingers. Heck, I would have my wedding luncheon there if the future wifey cleared it. It's a classy place. Some people even dress up for it.)
3) Get my own baseball card. Turns out, for the past two years Topps has been putting codes in their card sets. The first person to crack it got themselves inserted into the next year's set. Two things: Why didn't they do this from 1990-1995? I would have been in at least one set, if not three. The only thing that would have held me back was the cash flow to get the cards, but I guarantee you, if you told me that my card could wind up sandwiched between Frank Thomas and Alex Gonzalez (I wanted to put Ken Griffey, but they never put two all-stars one right after the other), I would become the youngest donor at the blood bank ever. I would have learned how to mow a yard at age 9 instead of 26.
Now that I could financially buy baseball cards by the box, I'm genuinely thinking about giving it a whirl when I get back to the states in 2011. Last year's code was cracked in 72 hours. I figure this year's will take four days, and when I step up next year's it would take probably a week. Yeah, I can do that. Completely worth it to get my own legit baseball card.
Word.
Friday, June 25, 2010
I'm Dressed All In Blue And I'm Remembering You
So I watched both 'Reality Bites' and 'High Fidelity' late this evening. Let me tell you, don't do this if you want to sleep later that evening. It is not conducive to anything other than deep, existential thoughts. And that brings us to this blog post.
For me, I got to thinking about past relationships. I've had my fair share and I like to think I've ran the gamut of relationships. Deep, shallow, short, long, good, bad. Some I regret starting, some I regret ending, but they're all part of my character now. They've all shaped me and how I handle future relationships. They've all given me stories and memories that remind me of all the good reasons to take romantic chances.
I can't tell you why, but I got to thinking about how the other halves of my relationships view our time together. I wonder if they think that I was good to them. Which memories do they still have, if any? I have to imagine that the married ones seldom, if ever reflect on when I dated them, but I like to believe that they have a couple. I know my parents still have stories, some of them not disastrous, of people they dated before they met each other.
The ones who are still single, I hope they think well of the time we shared. I like to think that they remember the fun times, but part of me wonders if they have bad stories about dating me. Id like to think that I was flawless, but I know there were some rough spots along my relationship road. I wonder if those outweigh the good times, or vice versa.
Again, do not watch 'High Fidelity' and 'Reality Bites' late at night, back to back. Do not do it. You will end up thinking about questions that have no answers.
Word.
For me, I got to thinking about past relationships. I've had my fair share and I like to think I've ran the gamut of relationships. Deep, shallow, short, long, good, bad. Some I regret starting, some I regret ending, but they're all part of my character now. They've all shaped me and how I handle future relationships. They've all given me stories and memories that remind me of all the good reasons to take romantic chances.
I can't tell you why, but I got to thinking about how the other halves of my relationships view our time together. I wonder if they think that I was good to them. Which memories do they still have, if any? I have to imagine that the married ones seldom, if ever reflect on when I dated them, but I like to believe that they have a couple. I know my parents still have stories, some of them not disastrous, of people they dated before they met each other.
The ones who are still single, I hope they think well of the time we shared. I like to think that they remember the fun times, but part of me wonders if they have bad stories about dating me. Id like to think that I was flawless, but I know there were some rough spots along my relationship road. I wonder if those outweigh the good times, or vice versa.
Again, do not watch 'High Fidelity' and 'Reality Bites' late at night, back to back. Do not do it. You will end up thinking about questions that have no answers.
Word.
Friday, June 18, 2010
I Was Listening To The Radio And Wondering What You're Dreaming When It Came To Mind That I Didn't Care
I'm still kind of reeling about how the US got robbed against Slovenia. Sure the defense decided to take the first half off, but that doesn't mean we should get penalized in the closing minutes in addition to allowing those two goals.
Yeah, I have World Cup Fever. It presents with a strong urge to actually play soccer, using the term 'pitch' to describe something other than a throw to the catcher, and rooting for countries that you can not locate on a map (Slovenia?? The announcer said it was next to Italy. Good enough for me). It's a 30 day bug, and usually self-resolves, but may recur in four year intervals.
Normally, I would watch every game, but do to time zone changes, and class, I have to miss most of them, and abstain from a couple others. As it turns out, Medical School was the right time for my parents to say "You know, when you get to (junior high/high school/college/medical school), you're going to have buckle down and study." I've been a world class coaster for the past 20 years of my academic career. Every now and then a class would challenge me and I would have to raise my game, but for the most part, the road was a downhill slip and slide. Just enjoy the ride and everything will be great fun.
Now, I'm studying for tests weeks and months out. I'm studying for a test that is a year out. A year. It blows my mind to think about it. There's just so much stuff that I need to have on recall that I genuinely have to start as soon as I receive it. I spend a good chunk of my day preparing outlines and flash cards reviewing bacteria, viruses, tissue pathologies, and physiological abnormalities. And none of it will pay off for at least three weeks. Ridiculous.
Which brings me back to the World Cup. More pointedly, diversions. I love them. They keep me sane and help me realize that there is more to life that just grinding it out. For those of you that don't have an iPhone/iPod touch, you can just check out now. Go over to Sporcle.com, play yourself some mentally stimulating games, and eat some apricots. For those that do, I have to express some love for a couple apps that have gotten me through many a late night or all day study session.
In order of how willing I am to name a child after it:
1) Angry Birds- Ok, maybe not a child, but I guarantee you, the next softball team I construct, we will be known as the angry birds. For $0.99, you get this fantastic game where you slingshot birds (with various special abilities) at pigs, in efforts to reclaim the eggs those pigs stole from you. It is amazing. If you trust me about anything other than food recommendations, trust me that this is 99c that you will be glad you spent.
2) Words with Friends- Rae-lo showed me this one and I've been hooked ever since. It plays on my hyper-competitive nature as well as my puzzle-solving-itis. It's scrabble against either known or random people over the internet. The best part is that if you don't have time to play a whole game in one sitting, you just leave and come back later. It works out great when I'm playing against friends out in Utah or California who live in a completely different time zone and therefore wake up later than me and stay up later than me. A big-ups to Rae-lo for this recommendation. If you have it and want to play, get at me (I've always wanted to say that) at RickMD239.
3) Catan- Dear sweet goodness, if you haven't played Settlers of Catan, go play right now. And if you have played it and don't like it, then return to your alien ship and fly home. Seriously. Best game ever created that isn't named 'Monopoly'. And they have it in app form. Only downside, can't play multiplayer like Words with Friends. I understand why because it's a game that needs be done in one sitting, but still would like to have the option. Also, a little pricey at $4.99, but definitely worth it if you like Settlers. After a couple of games, you'll come to hate Vincent almost as much as I already do.
4) Line-up- It's free, so you might think it sucks, but it's a fantastic little app. You clear out connecting, same-colored tiles in efforts to prevent the stacks from reaching the top. The best part is that a game usually is over within 2 minutes, so it's perfect for when you're waiting for someone or something and you're not sure how soon they'll be there. Like how snake was for the original Nokia phone. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, get out. Just get out right now. As far as I'm concerned, that is, was and always will be the greatest cell phone game ever. And it's not even close.) Completely worth getting, and has a high replay ability.
Oh, and the thing plays your music collection while you're playing games. Really would have blown pioneer minds that they could have played virtual kick the can while listening to Come, come ye saints (remix).
Word.
Yeah, I have World Cup Fever. It presents with a strong urge to actually play soccer, using the term 'pitch' to describe something other than a throw to the catcher, and rooting for countries that you can not locate on a map (Slovenia?? The announcer said it was next to Italy. Good enough for me). It's a 30 day bug, and usually self-resolves, but may recur in four year intervals.
Normally, I would watch every game, but do to time zone changes, and class, I have to miss most of them, and abstain from a couple others. As it turns out, Medical School was the right time for my parents to say "You know, when you get to (junior high/high school/college/medical school), you're going to have buckle down and study." I've been a world class coaster for the past 20 years of my academic career. Every now and then a class would challenge me and I would have to raise my game, but for the most part, the road was a downhill slip and slide. Just enjoy the ride and everything will be great fun.
Now, I'm studying for tests weeks and months out. I'm studying for a test that is a year out. A year. It blows my mind to think about it. There's just so much stuff that I need to have on recall that I genuinely have to start as soon as I receive it. I spend a good chunk of my day preparing outlines and flash cards reviewing bacteria, viruses, tissue pathologies, and physiological abnormalities. And none of it will pay off for at least three weeks. Ridiculous.
Which brings me back to the World Cup. More pointedly, diversions. I love them. They keep me sane and help me realize that there is more to life that just grinding it out. For those of you that don't have an iPhone/iPod touch, you can just check out now. Go over to Sporcle.com, play yourself some mentally stimulating games, and eat some apricots. For those that do, I have to express some love for a couple apps that have gotten me through many a late night or all day study session.
In order of how willing I am to name a child after it:
1) Angry Birds- Ok, maybe not a child, but I guarantee you, the next softball team I construct, we will be known as the angry birds. For $0.99, you get this fantastic game where you slingshot birds (with various special abilities) at pigs, in efforts to reclaim the eggs those pigs stole from you. It is amazing. If you trust me about anything other than food recommendations, trust me that this is 99c that you will be glad you spent.
2) Words with Friends- Rae-lo showed me this one and I've been hooked ever since. It plays on my hyper-competitive nature as well as my puzzle-solving-itis. It's scrabble against either known or random people over the internet. The best part is that if you don't have time to play a whole game in one sitting, you just leave and come back later. It works out great when I'm playing against friends out in Utah or California who live in a completely different time zone and therefore wake up later than me and stay up later than me. A big-ups to Rae-lo for this recommendation. If you have it and want to play, get at me (I've always wanted to say that) at RickMD239.
3) Catan- Dear sweet goodness, if you haven't played Settlers of Catan, go play right now. And if you have played it and don't like it, then return to your alien ship and fly home. Seriously. Best game ever created that isn't named 'Monopoly'. And they have it in app form. Only downside, can't play multiplayer like Words with Friends. I understand why because it's a game that needs be done in one sitting, but still would like to have the option. Also, a little pricey at $4.99, but definitely worth it if you like Settlers. After a couple of games, you'll come to hate Vincent almost as much as I already do.
4) Line-up- It's free, so you might think it sucks, but it's a fantastic little app. You clear out connecting, same-colored tiles in efforts to prevent the stacks from reaching the top. The best part is that a game usually is over within 2 minutes, so it's perfect for when you're waiting for someone or something and you're not sure how soon they'll be there. Like how snake was for the original Nokia phone. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, get out. Just get out right now. As far as I'm concerned, that is, was and always will be the greatest cell phone game ever. And it's not even close.) Completely worth getting, and has a high replay ability.
Oh, and the thing plays your music collection while you're playing games. Really would have blown pioneer minds that they could have played virtual kick the can while listening to Come, come ye saints (remix).
Word.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Rob The Jewelry Store And Tell Them 'Make Me A Grill'
Don't touch the kicker's plant leg.
Don't talk to someone working on a no-hitter.
Don't take pictures while Tiger's in his back swing. (But do feel free to take them during his back slide.)
There are some things that are unacceptable. Had a buddy throw a fantastic barbecue the other day. The grub was superb, people excellent, and a general feeling of 'awesome' permeated the affair. Despite this, I realized that this event is fraught with opportunities to be either a hero or a goat. However, since they are previously unwritten, you can't really get mad about people making the following mistakes. To remedy this, I've decided to outline a couple of rules that every guy should follow in regards to a barbecue invite. This is by no means an all-inclusive list, but simply a primer, and most of these rules applies to when a guy invites another guy. I've come to realize that girls get passes on just about everything.
1. Bring meat. In particular, bring at least enough for you, and preferably something extra to share. Unless the event is being catered or a company junket, make sure to stop by the deli before you show up. Just because the host has decided to open his house and fire up his grill does not mean he should be buying every guest a steak or rack of ribs. Even if you know the man can afford it, be a man yourself and come bearing animal flesh. Listen, if Warren Buffett invited me to a barbecue at his house, I'm walking in with a steak and package of bratwurst.
Why the extra you ask? Simple. Have you ever been to a function and thought, 'Man this is great, but there is just too much barbecue meat.' Me neither. You can never have enough. And if there's some left over, the host keeps it. Anything opened becomes property of the host. If you showed up late and they never opened your bacon wrapped filets, you can take those home, but if even one of the four pack was opened, it's stealing to put those back in your car. Bringing food to the barbecue is like bringing a sexy personality to a date. No one complains about the extra and the host takes it home at the end of the night.
2. You're arrival time should be dictated by how much of a friend the host is to you. Barbecue's take some prep work. Especially if you're using charcoal. But even gas grills require scraping, moving, testing, and washing. Now, while the host doesn't need help, he certainly would appreciate at least some company while he's going about the prep work. If your a really close friend, show up on time. The less close you are, the later you show up. However, there needs to be a cap...
3.Don't show up an hour late to a barbecue. You do realize this is man's house, not a restaurant? He wants the party to go for a while too, but if people keep showing up later and later, that means he has to either A) keep near the grill to cook the food for Johnny Late-comer, or B ) feel bad about not grilling for Jimmy Rude-sauce. If you are physically unable to come within an hour, bring food that does not require grilling. Fried chicken is a good main dish, or feel free to bring in any dessert. Remember, the host wants to hang out with people too. He doesn't want to spend the whole day by the grill.
4. Bring no more than one more dude than girl you bring. Put this with the 'Too much meat' issue. Never has there been a party where people left because there was too many girls there. If you find yourself thinking that, do two things immediately: 1) slap the begeezus out of yourself, 2) call me with your location.
When a guy is having a barbecue he wants to have fun, eat well, hang out with friends, and meet new friends. You should also be thinking, maybe this a chance for him (as well as yourself) to meet new ladies. On the list of perfect situations to meet new girls, I don't know how one could exclude barbecue. People are being fed and sheltered, so Maslov's lowest tier of needs is being satisfied. It's not crowded enabling conversations to easily and spontaneously start. And, everyone knows at least one other person, so everyone is socially comfortable. For those scoring at home: win-win-win-win.
This is why you as a guest should be aware of your impact on the gender balance. You may bring one additional guy friend without bringing a girl. However, if you want to bring two guy friends, you must get at least one other girl to come. You want to know what you hear all the time as people are leaving parties? 'There's too many dudes.' Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
5. As a guy, make sure that the best grub goes to girls. Trust me when I say that first impressions go a long way. I've spent the past 10 years of my life refining the first impressions I give. Not kidding. And the results have been nothing short of astounding. I started out with a girl approval-to-girl meeting ratio of about 1/6 (meaning for every six girls I met, one left thinking, 'he's an ok guy'). That's horrible. Now, I'm up around 6/7 (can't get them all). And why you ask? Simple. I offer them the best. If I'm at a barbecue, I want some good steak as much as the next guy. However, I don't really care if it comes to me a little overcooked or undercooked. I'll eat anything from rare to well done (though a man ordering a steak well done causes an angel to lose its wings) and enjoy myself. My impressions on the host and guests are typically food independent. Girls, however, bring everything together. If they're eating something nasty that reflects poorly on the entire company. Don't let that happen. Give the girls the best stuff. If the girls are happy, everyone's happy. If they're not, no one is.
6. Don't offer to help grill. Unless you have a show on the Food Network about grilling, let the host handle the cooking. The host planned this activity. If he didn't think he could do it sufficiently, he wouldn't have set it up. And, if by chance, he does need help, he'll ask. Offering another man help grilling is like offering him help driving. Why don't you just ask him if he need help opening his jars? It's about the same.
Avoid these things guys. Everybody wins.
Word.
Don't talk to someone working on a no-hitter.
Don't take pictures while Tiger's in his back swing. (But do feel free to take them during his back slide.)
There are some things that are unacceptable. Had a buddy throw a fantastic barbecue the other day. The grub was superb, people excellent, and a general feeling of 'awesome' permeated the affair. Despite this, I realized that this event is fraught with opportunities to be either a hero or a goat. However, since they are previously unwritten, you can't really get mad about people making the following mistakes. To remedy this, I've decided to outline a couple of rules that every guy should follow in regards to a barbecue invite. This is by no means an all-inclusive list, but simply a primer, and most of these rules applies to when a guy invites another guy. I've come to realize that girls get passes on just about everything.
1. Bring meat. In particular, bring at least enough for you, and preferably something extra to share. Unless the event is being catered or a company junket, make sure to stop by the deli before you show up. Just because the host has decided to open his house and fire up his grill does not mean he should be buying every guest a steak or rack of ribs. Even if you know the man can afford it, be a man yourself and come bearing animal flesh. Listen, if Warren Buffett invited me to a barbecue at his house, I'm walking in with a steak and package of bratwurst.
Why the extra you ask? Simple. Have you ever been to a function and thought, 'Man this is great, but there is just too much barbecue meat.' Me neither. You can never have enough. And if there's some left over, the host keeps it. Anything opened becomes property of the host. If you showed up late and they never opened your bacon wrapped filets, you can take those home, but if even one of the four pack was opened, it's stealing to put those back in your car. Bringing food to the barbecue is like bringing a sexy personality to a date. No one complains about the extra and the host takes it home at the end of the night.
2. You're arrival time should be dictated by how much of a friend the host is to you. Barbecue's take some prep work. Especially if you're using charcoal. But even gas grills require scraping, moving, testing, and washing. Now, while the host doesn't need help, he certainly would appreciate at least some company while he's going about the prep work. If your a really close friend, show up on time. The less close you are, the later you show up. However, there needs to be a cap...
3.Don't show up an hour late to a barbecue. You do realize this is man's house, not a restaurant? He wants the party to go for a while too, but if people keep showing up later and later, that means he has to either A) keep near the grill to cook the food for Johnny Late-comer, or B ) feel bad about not grilling for Jimmy Rude-sauce. If you are physically unable to come within an hour, bring food that does not require grilling. Fried chicken is a good main dish, or feel free to bring in any dessert. Remember, the host wants to hang out with people too. He doesn't want to spend the whole day by the grill.
4. Bring no more than one more dude than girl you bring. Put this with the 'Too much meat' issue. Never has there been a party where people left because there was too many girls there. If you find yourself thinking that, do two things immediately: 1) slap the begeezus out of yourself, 2) call me with your location.
When a guy is having a barbecue he wants to have fun, eat well, hang out with friends, and meet new friends. You should also be thinking, maybe this a chance for him (as well as yourself) to meet new ladies. On the list of perfect situations to meet new girls, I don't know how one could exclude barbecue. People are being fed and sheltered, so Maslov's lowest tier of needs is being satisfied. It's not crowded enabling conversations to easily and spontaneously start. And, everyone knows at least one other person, so everyone is socially comfortable. For those scoring at home: win-win-win-win.
This is why you as a guest should be aware of your impact on the gender balance. You may bring one additional guy friend without bringing a girl. However, if you want to bring two guy friends, you must get at least one other girl to come. You want to know what you hear all the time as people are leaving parties? 'There's too many dudes.' Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
5. As a guy, make sure that the best grub goes to girls. Trust me when I say that first impressions go a long way. I've spent the past 10 years of my life refining the first impressions I give. Not kidding. And the results have been nothing short of astounding. I started out with a girl approval-to-girl meeting ratio of about 1/6 (meaning for every six girls I met, one left thinking, 'he's an ok guy'). That's horrible. Now, I'm up around 6/7 (can't get them all). And why you ask? Simple. I offer them the best. If I'm at a barbecue, I want some good steak as much as the next guy. However, I don't really care if it comes to me a little overcooked or undercooked. I'll eat anything from rare to well done (though a man ordering a steak well done causes an angel to lose its wings) and enjoy myself. My impressions on the host and guests are typically food independent. Girls, however, bring everything together. If they're eating something nasty that reflects poorly on the entire company. Don't let that happen. Give the girls the best stuff. If the girls are happy, everyone's happy. If they're not, no one is.
6. Don't offer to help grill. Unless you have a show on the Food Network about grilling, let the host handle the cooking. The host planned this activity. If he didn't think he could do it sufficiently, he wouldn't have set it up. And, if by chance, he does need help, he'll ask. Offering another man help grilling is like offering him help driving. Why don't you just ask him if he need help opening his jars? It's about the same.
Avoid these things guys. Everybody wins.
Word.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Good Life, Let's Go On A Livin' Spree
Because it the first month of Baseball season and I was fretting over why my team is already 6 games back?
Because it was announced that '24' was ending and I wanted the world to go dark?
Because The Rise of Mickelson had started and I wasn't sure how to publicize it?
Because there was a shortage of 'fantasta-rifficness' in the world and my services were called upon?
Now, while the last one may be true, none of them are reason for the full month hiatus. Real reason- two weeks of prepping for midterms and finals coupled with leaving my laptop in my apartment when I went to back to the states. I decided to see if I could handle all of my daily internet based tasks solely via the iPod. And I can. It's fantastic. Now when I travel, instead of a laptop and huge charger cable, the iPod and it's tiny wall charger are sufficient. Very pleased.
Things that I'm also pleased about, my trip to NYC. Absolutely great. Big kudos to Mike for putting it all together. Saw the sights in a timely fashion, had a lot of great experiences, and was able to hang out with a lot of great people. An absolute blast, start to finish. No, seriously, from eyes open to eyes closed, non-stop laughing and enjoyment. Could not have gone better, and that even includes the forgoing of Bethpage. Well, maybe if the White Sox swept, instead of going 1-2, but asking for that would be unreasonable. And yes, I may have lost the end of my pinky finger due to frostbite at the Mets game, but it was worth it.
What stands out most of all, is the fun I had with the people who came. They were perfect. I came in knowing Mike better than he knows himself, a couple others by name, and some not at all, but I can say that I left with indelible memories regarding them all. (Wow, that came off a lot more touchy-feely than I wanted. I feel like I'm in a Single's Ward Fast and testimony meeting, praising my roommates. Yikes.) But honestly, much love to those eight who put up with me, and took me in as one of their own.
Also, a big thanks to Dan and his family for putting me up for a couple evenings in their lovely home. Couldn't have been treated better if I was in my own home. That's not hyperbole, either.
Couldn't have asked for more out of vacation.
Word.
Because it was announced that '24' was ending and I wanted the world to go dark?
Because The Rise of Mickelson had started and I wasn't sure how to publicize it?
Because there was a shortage of 'fantasta-rifficness' in the world and my services were called upon?
Now, while the last one may be true, none of them are reason for the full month hiatus. Real reason- two weeks of prepping for midterms and finals coupled with leaving my laptop in my apartment when I went to back to the states. I decided to see if I could handle all of my daily internet based tasks solely via the iPod. And I can. It's fantastic. Now when I travel, instead of a laptop and huge charger cable, the iPod and it's tiny wall charger are sufficient. Very pleased.
Things that I'm also pleased about, my trip to NYC. Absolutely great. Big kudos to Mike for putting it all together. Saw the sights in a timely fashion, had a lot of great experiences, and was able to hang out with a lot of great people. An absolute blast, start to finish. No, seriously, from eyes open to eyes closed, non-stop laughing and enjoyment. Could not have gone better, and that even includes the forgoing of Bethpage. Well, maybe if the White Sox swept, instead of going 1-2, but asking for that would be unreasonable. And yes, I may have lost the end of my pinky finger due to frostbite at the Mets game, but it was worth it.
What stands out most of all, is the fun I had with the people who came. They were perfect. I came in knowing Mike better than he knows himself, a couple others by name, and some not at all, but I can say that I left with indelible memories regarding them all. (Wow, that came off a lot more touchy-feely than I wanted. I feel like I'm in a Single's Ward Fast and testimony meeting, praising my roommates. Yikes.) But honestly, much love to those eight who put up with me, and took me in as one of their own.
Also, a big thanks to Dan and his family for putting me up for a couple evenings in their lovely home. Couldn't have been treated better if I was in my own home. That's not hyperbole, either.
Couldn't have asked for more out of vacation.
Word.
I've Got Another Confession My Friend, I'm No Fool
I have a friend named Jake. For starters, I should tell you he is one of the best people I have ever met. How great is he? Glad you asked. We all know how much I like being who I am. I mean, I really like being me. Really, really like it. However, if given the opportunity to become him, I just might take it.
I bring him up, because of a phrase he often used to describe things. He often would refer to something as 'A poor man's...' to describe how one thing was similar but inferior to another. And lately, I feel like there have been many instances where this phrase should be implied so everybody knows where things stand. So over the past couple days, I've compiled of a list of these comparisons.
Ryan Howard is a poor man's Albert Pujols (despite being paid like a rich man's)
Leona Lewis is a poor man's hybrid of Alicia Keys and Colbie Callait (only british)
Citi Field is at once a poor man's Citizen Bank Park and a rich man's Nationals Stadium
New Yankee Stadium is a rich woman's and a poor man's Old Yankee Stadiumd (how else do you explain the addition every amenity possible, restaurants galore, a level of cleanliness reserved for museums, and the removal of all the nostlagia, ambiance, and lore)
A good-bye hug is a poor man's good-bye kiss
A Woody Allen at the Carnegie Deli is a rich man's any other meat sandwich (I so want one right now)
The Courtyard is most certainly a poor man's Ritz-Carlton (Have you seen those rooms? Why would you leave?)
Monument Park is a poor man's Cooperstown
Every other outfielder save Matt Kemp, is a poor man's Jason Heyward
The name you want to give your daughter is a poor man's "Ken Griffey Jr's Swing" (The name I want to give my first daughter. Think the future Mrs. will green light that? Me too.)
Halo is a poor man's Contra
The NBA and NHL playoffs are a poor man's World Cup
Cream puffs, while fantastic, are a poor man's cannoli
An eCard is a poor man's real card
Ending a blog with anything else is a poor man's "Word."
Word.
I bring him up, because of a phrase he often used to describe things. He often would refer to something as 'A poor man's...' to describe how one thing was similar but inferior to another. And lately, I feel like there have been many instances where this phrase should be implied so everybody knows where things stand. So over the past couple days, I've compiled of a list of these comparisons.
Ryan Howard is a poor man's Albert Pujols (despite being paid like a rich man's)
Leona Lewis is a poor man's hybrid of Alicia Keys and Colbie Callait (only british)
Citi Field is at once a poor man's Citizen Bank Park and a rich man's Nationals Stadium
New Yankee Stadium is a rich woman's and a poor man's Old Yankee Stadiumd (how else do you explain the addition every amenity possible, restaurants galore, a level of cleanliness reserved for museums, and the removal of all the nostlagia, ambiance, and lore)
A good-bye hug is a poor man's good-bye kiss
A Woody Allen at the Carnegie Deli is a rich man's any other meat sandwich (I so want one right now)
The Courtyard is most certainly a poor man's Ritz-Carlton (Have you seen those rooms? Why would you leave?)
Monument Park is a poor man's Cooperstown
Every other outfielder save Matt Kemp, is a poor man's Jason Heyward
The name you want to give your daughter is a poor man's "Ken Griffey Jr's Swing" (The name I want to give my first daughter. Think the future Mrs. will green light that? Me too.)
Halo is a poor man's Contra
The NBA and NHL playoffs are a poor man's World Cup
Cream puffs, while fantastic, are a poor man's cannoli
An eCard is a poor man's real card
Ending a blog with anything else is a poor man's "Word."
Word.
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