You Gon Sweat Your Outfit Out Trying To Dance Like Me

It's been celebrated, anticipated, and for the past month feared, but at long last here it is. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 2009 Baseball Predictions. This also doubles as the house's entry in the "Rick Russell knows more about baseball than I do" contest. Print it out. Put it on your wall, and watch the prognostications become reality. I'll give the overviews first, and then the actual numbers all together at the end.
To the American League first, the East in particular.
How about them Rays! For the first time since Jeter put pinstripes on, he was watching October baseball on his couch. That's right, every year from 1995 the Yanks were in the playoffs until last year, when the Rays surprised everyone, including their momma's. So what do the Bronx Bombers do? Only what they do best. Go out and get the best talent on the market. Sabathia, Texeiria, and even Burnett. And, they'll still be spending less this year than they did for the 89 win stinker they put up. Now, why did they end up with that few wins? Simple. Kennedy and Hughes were nowhere near what they had been hyped to be. Not even close. I said last year that they should have shipped them both for Johan paid that man his money, and I still say they should have done it. They would have made the playoffs easily, and the way things shake out, probably be celebrating A-rod's first title. (Side bar, had they won, and then the A-fraud/Yuri Sucart scenario unfolded, what a nightmare would that have been?)
Needless to say, they will be a contender all season long this year. The Rays won't be sneaking up on people, but still will be strong as they've kept their entire rotation, added Jason Isringhausen (yes I know he's on the decline and has been for years, but it's a great veteran presence for a very young staff) and Pat Burrell. Boston has been caught asleep at the wheel if you ask me. They should have done what was necessary to get Tex, even if that means moving Youk to third and benching Lowell. The Blue Jays and the Orioles... best of luck in the most loaded division in baseball. In the end, I'm giving this to, and yes it pains me to type it, the Yankees, followed by the Rays, Red Sox, Blue Jays and Orioles.
Central Division
A round of applause for the division champions White Sox. Good, now they need to get back to work. Kenny Williams, I'm looking at you. The usually active Sox have been extremely quiet this offseason. With only one trade and one signing, everyone, once again, is in the dark as to what the GM has in mind. The only concern is that I have no idea what they can do at this point in the year. A lot of big names are off the board, and a couple of the notable free agents are trying to earn contracts in the World Baseball Classic (The Netherlands?? Twice over the Dominicans? Really? I would have bet that Mike would buy a Carl Pavano jersey before that happened) but nothing seems promising, hence the Bartolo Colon signing. I kid you not, I'm raising my boys to be big league pitchers. As long as you can consistently hit 92 on the gun, it doesn't matter what you look like or what you've done before, you'll always have a job.
That smell in the room, that's the turd the Tigers laid last season. They made the biggest move in the offseason and dealt the bulk of their prospective talent for Willis and Cabrera. And wound up with 74 wins in dead last. Yikes. Cleveland was saved by Cliff Lee's ridiculous season from being the butt of all Central jokes. I'm not expecting a repeat performance by him. The Twins had a great team, but lost the division in the 163 game of the season. Now they've upgraded at third by picking up Joe Crede, but beyond that, much of the same for the Twinkies. Good, not great.
I'm taking the White Sox, then the Indians, Twins, Tigers, and Royals, in a close division.
West
When you win your division by 21 games, it's hard to say that any improvement made by other teams can close the gap. The Angels did lose K-rod, but Fuentes is a solid replacement. They also picked up Abreu, who is an upgrade over Garret Anderson in right. In the end, I call that a wash, but will have to take off a couple wins because the anomaly that was K-rod's saves record will not be repeated. Oakland, in what can only be described as anti-moneyball moves, acquired Giambi, Holliday, and Orlando Cabrera, all substantial upgrades. Is it enough to close the gap? I say no. Seattle gets Junior back (and if you don't know who I mean when I say Junior, I'm sorry for you. You truly have been deprived of one of the most celestial things) which should help ease the pain of watching everyone else on this team not named King Felix or Ichiro. How'd that Erik Bedard deal work out for you? Not good, huh? Texas has the great story of Josh Hamilton, but that's all they have. You don't win a division with a story. You can lose one, but you can't win one.
Give me the Angels, then the A's, Rangers, and Mariners
National League
East
To call the Phillies a fluke is not accurate. They played well and were in the right position for the past two years. It reminds of me of when Nick Faldo won the Master's because Greg Norman choked away a six stroke lead with 14 to play. Yeah, Faldo played well, but what mattered more was that Norman simply fell apart. As did the Mets. Just. Fell. Apart. I had no vested interest in that team, but it did make me hurt a little to watch it just slip away again after the nightmare of 2007. So what do the Mets do? Fix their shoddy bullpen. Twice. K-rod and JJ Putz come over to give them the best bullpen in the league. The Phillies return just as strong and ready to do some damage again, I just wonder if they have enough left in the tank after last year. We haven't a repeat champion since the yankees in 1999-2000 and haven't had a team go to the series in back to back years since the yanks in 2000-2001. And I don't see the Phillies ending that streak. Atlanta added a couple veteran arms, which should help, but not enough to become a contender with NY and Philadelphia. The Marlins are going to be my, not this year, but look out next year squad, just as the Rays were last year. They've got young talent and it's really starting to turn around. If their pitching can match their offense, they will take this division. I just don't think it will... this year. The Nationals... they're awful. I've watched a couple spring training games, and am wondering if they're holding tryouts. I think I could make their Double-A team.
Mets, Phillies, Marlins, Braves, Nationals
Central
The Cubs are still the premier team in this division, even despite the loss of Leon Johnson. The rest of this division is going to be battling closely for second. Except for the Pirates. They're battling against contraction.
Cubs, Cards, Astros, Brewers, Reds, Pirates.
West
Ask me how much I love Manny Ramirez. Bottomlessly. Everything he does entertains and excites me. I'll say it now, he should be MLB TV's first reality star. Manny being Manny. That's watch it live while you DVR it good.
Dodgers, D-backs, Giants, Rockies, Padres.
It's not obvious I care more about the American League than the National League is it?
Playoffs
ALDS
Yanks-White Sox (Yanks in 5)
Angels- Rays (Wild Card) (Rays in 4)

NLDS
Cubs-Dodgers (Dodgers in 4)
Mets-Cards(Wild Card) (Mets in 3)

ALCS
Yanks over Rays in 6

NLCS
Mets over Dodgers in 5

World Series
Yanks over Mets in 6

Individual Awards

All-Star Starters (in order around the diamond)
AL
Sabathia, Mauer, Tex, Pedroia, Arod, Jeter, Sizemore, Ichiro and Vlad
NL
Hamels, Russell Martin, Fielder, Utley, Wright, Reyes, Soriano, Manny, and Cameron Maybin

Cy Young
AL- Sabathia
NL- Hamels

MVP
AL- Tex
NL- Manny

ROY
AL- Elvis Andrus
NL- Cameron Maybin

Number of wins for each team
Yankees 98
Rays 97
Red Sox 92
Blue Jays 83
Orioles 68

White Sox 89
Indians 82
Twins 81
Tigers 80
Royals 68

Angels 96
A's 88
Rangers 80
Mariners 64

Mets 93
Phillies 86
Marlins 82
Braves 79
Nationals 57

Cubs 95
Cardinals 88
Astros 85
Brewers 81
Reds 71
Pirates 61

Dodgers 88
D-Backs 83
Giants 73
Rockies 71
Padres 68

Get your dollars bills out and your pens ready. Word.

Here's A Long Evasive Story, Of Failed Hopes And Glories

I'm dressed in a button up and tie, looking pretty good, if I say so myself. I look around what appears to be a grand foyer and notice a couple other people, all of whom also dressed professionally. Instantly, I know I'm not at work, but at school. Make that at a school. It's not BYU because I have been in every building in that campus and this doesn't resemble any of them. However, I'm not concerned with this seeming lapse of awareness.
A similarly dressed guy, roughly my age, is sitting next to me. He seems pleased with himself over something, and oddly, I feel the same sense of accomplishment. I make small talk, and eventually we both get up to leave, again, for no particular reason. Then comes the moment that I still remember as vividly as anything.
Me: So what brings you here?
Him: Medical school interviews. It's why we're all here.
Then, instead of rejoicing, I hang my head, and realize it's a dream. I start moving faster, frantically looking around for something to let me know that it was real, but I know all too well it's a dream. Suddenly, the sun fades a little, the walls become blurry. I start to say "This has to..." but then reality creeps in and I finish the sentence "be a dream" staring at my ceiling fan.
Easily, one of the most depressing ways to start off a morning.
When you realize your goal can only be found in dreams, it's an accomplishment to get out of bed that morning. That morning was about a week ago. I went back and forth over how to share this, or even to share this. In the end, it was 12:15am impulse that led me to the keyboard and resulted in this post. I wish there was some more poignant or rational reason, but there really isn't. And if you're reading this, that shouldn't be too much of a surprise to you.
Here's the point. I'm in the bottom of the ninth of my game against med school admissions, and I'm behind. No one knows better than me that technically, I could get called in for an interview in April, or even possibly May, but the realist in me says that if nothing happens by the end of the month, it's time to create new dreams. Ones that can be satisfied in the real world.
Pray for me.
Word.

I Wake Up Every Evening With A Big Smile On My Face

I just got a DVR, and it is a fantastic invention. I had to get my own because the communal one continued to delete my shows, sometime mysteriously, sometimes not so mysteriously. Needless to say, there were a dozen or so shows I needed to get on the schedule, but ask me what I recorded first? That's right, a show recounting the top 9 shortstops of all time. I honestly think that I have recorded at least one show from MLBTV everyday on average since getting the DVR.
The point is, baseball is life. I live for the Chicago White Sox. I really do. Well, them, cheese, bacon, and girls. Not necessarily in that order. Last year I put up predictions about the year, and did marginally well. I say that, because I did well with the American League, and was horrible with the National League, likely because I didn't bother to do any research on it.
It's a new year, and with that come new hopes, dreams, and prognostications.
I welcome you to the 1st annual Rick Russell Knows More About Baseball Than You Do competition.
Do I know more about baseball than you? I guess the better question is do you know more than I do. I'm willing to wager $50 that I know more than everyone else does.
Now, I don't expect you to put $50 up against me, because I don't many, if any people are willing to. So here's the deal. I'm giving $50 to the winner of a contest I'm setting up. The guidelines will be coming shortly. If there are two people that beat me, than whoever beats me by the largest margin will get $40, and the second largest margin will get $10.
Here's what I'm asking for from you. One dollar. That's it. But not just any plain dollar. On this dollar bill you must write "Rick Russell knows more about baseball than I do" and then sign it. That's it. For one dollar, you have a shot at $50. This is open to anyone and everyone.
So if you think you have a shot of knowing more about baseball than me, bring it on.
The guidelines are as follows:

Everyone will start with 100 points. They will then predict the amount of wins for every team. At the end of the season, we'll compare the actual results and you'll subtract a point for every game you are off.
Also, predictions will be made for the playoffs. You'll pick four teams to make the playoffs, and for each one you get correct, you'll get five bonus points. You'll also predict which teams will win their division or wild card, and each correct choice will garner another five points. Picking a correct team in the World Series will net an additional 15 points. And picking the World Series winner will garner 20 bonus points.
Those are the team criteria, but to help you regain the points you'll lose over the season, I've also included a 5 point bonus for properly selecting the MVP, CY Young, or ROY winners. And there will be a 2 point bonus per All-Star Game starter correctly selected.
Highest score wins, and if you score less than me, I get your dollar.
Simple enough?
For a shortcut version on the scoring rubric, here it is:
100 pt start.
Subtract the difference between each teams actual wins and your predicted amounts.
Add 5 points for each playoff team
Add 5 points for each correct playoff designation
Add 15 points for picking a World Series team
Add 20 points for picking the World Series winner
Add 5 points for picking a ROY, MVP or Cy Young winner
Add 1 point for picking an All-Star Game starter.
All entries must be emailed to rickrussell239@gmail.com by 11:59 PM EST on March 15th.

Total it up, sign your dollar and mail it to me when you realize that I beat you.
I'll be updating results on bi-weekly basis until the all-star game, and then on a weekly basis after that.
So there you have it. The gauntlet has been laid down, the challenge presented. Will you step up? It's open to anyone who is willing to sign over the dollar bill as indicated. Email your entries to rickrussell239@gmail.com, but know that I won't read then until March 16th. This way, I won't be influenced by your picks, and since I'm not putting mine up until the 16th, you won't be swayed by mine.
Word

Cause It's All In My Head, I Think About It Over And Over Again

I'm all for second chances. Shoot, if half of the people I ever met didn't give me one, I wouldn't have any friends. Because of this, I'm much more prone to dole out extra lives. Plus, every now and then I get surprised about things.

Take for example the movie "The Skulls". It rolled out in 2000 and featured Joshua Jackson (Charlie Conway from the Mighty Ducks) and Paul Walker and was a constant target of ridicule during high school. However, AMC, in their infinite and absolute wisdom and authority, has dubbed it a "new classic". I gave it another viewing recently and have to say, it is much better than I remembered. The ridiculous gaps that I thought existed (i.e. where did the expansive luxurious courtyard come from in the middle of college campus) were easily and believably resolved. I would actually recommend watching it, if you caught it on tv. It's not worth seeking out, and certainly not worth purchasing for anything over $2, but it is worth seeing.

The downside to giving things another shot is that often you discover that you wasted time and effort on something that still sucks. Case in point here has to be the movie "Down to You", another 2000 film.

This came out on video, much as the skulls did, when I was working at blockbuster. I venture to say that just about any major motion picture that hit VHS format immediately preceding or during the summer of 2000, I have seen at least once. And this one was one of the many that left me wanting my time back. It's simply horrible, going nowhere, bringing nothing to the table. It is the definition of half-baked. How did it get green-lit you ask? Simple. It was 1999 and the producers were told we already have Freddie Prinze Jr and Julia Stiles signed on as the leads.
(Can you name a bigger celebrity, Prinze that is, in our life time that burned out so quickly? Really, he was on top of the world for years. The I know what you did last summer series, she's all that, boys and girls, and not to forget that he married Sarah Michelle Gellar, and then after this movie, he went on to do the scooby-do movies and a slew of voice overs. In three years he went from A-list movie lead to nobody. Amazing.)

By the way, it was, and is, on MTV. When did they start getting movies, and why did they follow the forever classic Rudy with this turd? It does leave the door open for them to choose absolutely any other movie they want.

This brings me to my list of things that I thought were horrible in high school and still wreak of failure. In no particular order, but they are the top five collectively:
1. Down to You. See above. And let that be the last you see of it.
2. My Best Friend's Wedding. I can not begin to describe how absolutely horrible this movie is. But, for the sake of the argument, the people making this movie knew it was so horrible that they worked in a song and a dance number into the middle of it that became the only memorable moment of the two hour torture.
3. Chumbwumba. They were the first band that the machine put out that I stopped and thought to myself, "This is bad. I know it is, but everyone else seems to enjoy it. Something is wrong."
4. The WNBA. How is this still operating, especially in today's economic situation?
5. The National League. Although they have won four out of the past 10 Fall Classics, they're still second rate to the American League. They just are.

Word.

I Don't Want To Learn What I'll Need To Forget

So I'm reading Shock by Robin Cook. I'm almost through with it and will likely wrap it up by Friday. But please don't buy this book. It will easily be the worst book I've ever finished. And it's not even close for second. I've read several books that were less than enjoyable, but that was mostly due to complex styles or me being uninterested in the subject. This book is the first one that I'm disliking because of such a poor job by the author.

The worst part is I find it insulting a little. You see, his biggest weakness is dialogue. He does a horrible job using conversation to move the story along. Reading it, you just don't feel any of the emotions that the characters should be, or allegedly are, experiencing. However, in a vain effort to disguise this flaw, Cook uses his expansive vocabulary.

I'm for using seldom used words. As long as they A) fit, B) serve a purpose, and C) doesn't interrupt the flow of conversation. Reading Cook, it's an endless stream of obscure words that I simply can not fathom would all occur within one conversation. They people are grad students, but I find it ridiculous to assume all their conversation would be refined and verbose. I'm pretty smart, and so are my friends. We certainly don't use solely words over eight letters.

The other thing that gets me about his writing is how poorly his plot unfolded. Forget the fact that the jumping point of the novel is that pair of women donate eggs to an infertility clinic and then when they want to learn more about what happened to eggs, they mined the obituaries for recently deceased people to steal their social security numbers in order to become employees at the clinic. (How plausible is that? How many people are willing to commit obvious felonies just to learn about a donation of which they have no interest in the end result? This was the best you had? What a waste.)

The clear focus of the story should be on what happens once they learn about the eggs. I can tell you that I'm through two thirds of the book, and they barely found out about the donation. This means that in half the time it took for us to get to the big turning point, we're going to have to wrap everything up. This is supposed to be a thriller, but instead, it's simply dull. It's not even going on the book shelf. I'm literally taking it back to the paperback store I bought it and redeeming it's trade-in value.

I didn't want to end this with a downer, and the post below this one is more entertaining, but I wanted to include this snippet.

The Cardinals great second baseman Rogers Hornsby was once asked what he did during the off season.

"I look out the window and wait for spring."

Me too. Word

Flip On The Telly, Wrestle With Jimmy

After watching the Scrubs season premiere, I began wondering whether or not a taxidermist would work on a human. And then what would be the oldest age where those services should be considered? I've got to put the bar at 50, of course this is assuming the cause of termination is not disfiguring.

Aside from that, the most exciting development on my television has been the unrolling of the MLB network. That's right, 24/7/365.25 of baseball. They replay old classic games, talk about comparisons across the ages, and make top ten lists of everything rawhide related. Ask me how much my productivity has gone down. Heaven forbid they roll the 2005 World Series. Even though I own the collector's edition box set, I would still sit through it if it came on the air.
Speaking of the 2005 White Sox, I'm kind of glad they haven't won it all since (note: this gladness is only in retrospect, and I gladly would trade the four intervening seasons for one more championship, but you have to follow me for a second. It'll make sense, I promise) then. Why you ask?

Financial reasons. Just to commemorate that splendid event, I have purchased the following memorabilia:
An official hat
An official program
A large blanket
An official world series baseball
A world series champions ring replica
A world series trophy replica
A picture from game one which I had matted and framed
A special edition DVD
and the aforementioned collector's box set.

Not kidding. If they won it all again, I would be forced to renew at least some of these items, and would likely add others. Truth be told, I have enough stuff from four years ago to last for the next ten. And I love each and every one, but I simply can't afford to replace them.

But we all know I would anyway. Like Rocky during the Apollo-Drago fight, I would shrink at the task before me and cave in to my weaknesses.

Most importantly for this post, let me know about what you think about the now embedded playlist you're hearing by now. I tried to design it like an album as opposed to a random collection. Ideally, it would wash over you (brace for this because it's going to get deep here) like the ocean waves off shore. You see the wave off shore always flow towards the shore, however, they rise and fall smoothly and effortlessly. That was the hope with the ordering and selection.
Enjoy.

Word.

It's Been Seven Hours and Fifteen Days

I will not argue over this. I simply get infuriated by seeing it. This, my friends, is the gesture for the only team outside of the state of Utah which is referred to simply as "The U", namely Miami University. The pilfering of it by the Utes is incomprehensible.

It's as ridiculous as if they realized that the Utes were a tribe of indians, and therefore decided to do the tomahawk chop on third downs. No. No. And no. The only team in college sports allowed to do the tomahawk chop is the Florida State Seminoles. That's it. They've been doing it since who knows when, and have all but trademarked it.

I simply don't understand why the west coast biased sports world has overlooked this hand-gesture abomination for so long. It's mind boggling. Miami has been the only team to do this for decades. If only they would realize that teams east of the Rockies are just as important, we wouldn't have this episode.

The Utes can lay claim to the index-and-pinky-finger-extended-vertically symbol, although if they ever played Texas, this would inevitably lead to confusion. That's theirs, and I'll be sure to chide any hurricane seen performing it improperly. But please, let the once mighty 'Canes have the only thing tying them back to their glory days.

Word.