You Can Pull All The Cards But I Won't Back Down

Eat Tootsie Rolls
Play Tetris
Take Standardized Tests
Predict Baseball Seasons

Those are four things that I do really well.  With the announcement of Ryan Braun getting the NL MVP award (yes, Matt Kemp was most certainly robbed, especially when you factor in the protection Ryan Braun had batting in front of Prince Fielder), the 2011 Baseball Season has finally come to a close.  Accompanying this is the close of the 3rd Annual Rick Russell Knows More About Baseball Than I Do contest.  And in case you were wondering, yours truly was once more victorious over all-comers.

This was closer than most, as I relied on my MVP picks to carry the day for me, but a 6 point victory over the next nearest competitor is still a win.  For those of you playing, please prepare a $1 bill with the following script:
"Rick Russell knows more about baseball than I do - 2011"
(Signature)

If I have not received these by Christmas Day, expect a phone call.  I have a wall to fill.

Word

What I Don't Know, I Catch On Real Quick

I have to admit, I've wasted titles twice in a row now.  Both of the previous two titles could have been better used on the subsequent post, as opposed to the ones that they currently head.

Either way, I just got back from a trip to Seattle this past weekend.  I've been fortunate to spend roughly 2 weeks in the Seattle/Northwestern Washington area in my life, and out of that time, it has rained only a day and a half.  For all this talk about being a rainy city, I'm throwing out my BS flag.  The Girlfriend and I flew in on Friday, and it was drizzling a bit that afternoon and early evening.  However, all Saturday and Sunday it was clear and sunny skies.  Monday morning had a slight drizzle before we boarded the plan back to SLC, but that was it.  For that, Seattle, I thank you.

Now you're asking yourself, why did I go to Seattle.  Because I can.  Well, that and The Girlfriend's friend went and moved there a couple months ago and has been asking The Girlfriend to make a visit ever since.  I came along because, well, I can, and because I had met the friend and her husband and found them both to be enjoyable.  To give things a more tangible impression, here's a picture of the four of us.  If you can tell me where that photo was taken, I will award you five tootsie rolls.  Note: none of the four people in the picture qualify for the tootsie roll reward.

These people are some fun people.  They found this thing called CityPass which got us into the major area attractions for a little less than half the retail price.  Science Center, Aquarium, Zoo, Space Needle, EMP, Harbor Tour.  Yep, did all of them for less than what we spent on hot chocolate the weekend. (Got to the point that we just decided to buy a gallon milk, a box of mix and just load canteens before we left for the day.  Have I told you that I hate being cold, as does The Girlfriend.  I brought two jackets and three sweaters for a three and half day trip.  And a hoodie.)

Everything was great except for the Ye Olde Curiosity shop after the Harbor Tour.  They're going to make a comment about it because it's right on the pier.  For future reference, you can skip this place.  It's a souvenir shop with a wall of not-so-curious things.  In their cabinet, they have an Ichiro baseball card.  Not even a rookie card, just and Ichiro card.  Now, you can make the argument that while the card itself is not curious, its inclusion certainly is, but you should not have to go to that level to qualify a Curiosity shop.  Boo on the Ye Olde Curiosity shop.  Boo.

Ok, now I need to preface this.  Growing up in coastal Florida, I was always near the water and the wild-life that it had.  However, I never saw a fish, or a stingray, or even a manatee and thought, "I want to touch that."  Nope.  I figured they were doing their thing, I'm going to just do mine.  And then when I found out about things like stinging coral or anenomees during scuba certification, well that just reinforced my bias.  So, when we stroll into the aquarium and they have this large exhibit where you can touch starfish or anenomees or urchins, I wanted no part in it.  The other three comrades thought this was an opportunity not to be missed, so they kept petting them and letting the tentacles attach to or close around their fingers.  Me?  I petted the immobile starfish that looked/felt like a football.  That's good enough for me.  Thanks.  Next exhibit please.  Oh, and a dry towel would be great as well.

I remember when the Experience Music Project (EMP) opened back in 2000 because I was in Seattle when it happened.  I was there for EFY (Why Seattle?  Florida didn't have one that year.  The closest was in Atlanta.  I figured if I had to fly anyway, might as well go as far as I can.) and arriving a day early, had the chance to read a newspaper that told me about it's opening.  I thought it was amazing and wanted to go ever since.  Hearing that it was on the CityPass, well that sealed it for me.  For a museum, it is unlike any other museum I have been to.  A lot of the exhibits are interactive or video-screen based, and I can only watch so many of those before I get bored.  Give me a cool piece and then an even better story behind it and I'm enthralled for hours.  It's a little embarrassing, but I can't help not read the plaques accompanying stuff that I generally don't care about.   I now know the back-story of Battlestar Galactica.  Not that I've ever seen an episode, or even want to, but because there was a large description of it on a wall.  Because of this, the Nirvana exhibit was great.  I like Nirvana, but I don't thing I've ever owned an album of theirs, and I'm almost certain I've never paid money for a song of theirs. (Notice how I left a loophole regarding napster-esque downloading.  Intentional.)  However, their exhibit was great.  I had no clue that Dave Grohl didn't join the band until 1990, or that Kurt would collect the pickups and other parts of the recently smashed guitars to reuse for repairs.  Now, I do.

Oh, and an inverted tree of guitars and other instruments is always cool.

We ended the trip by first heading out to Snoqualmie Falls.  Want to know the best part about these falls, aside from the view?  The lack of hiking required to see them.  Big fan right there.  Just park, stroll over a skybridge and there you are.  Very pitcturesque setting.  From there we trekked over to the Freemont Troll.  No, it did not have neon hair that stuck straight up.  No, it was not actually a goblin, despite the name.  And no, it slowly move across water while we fished.  It was however a large sculpture of a troll that resides under a bridge.  It's a city monument and is well respected and taken care of.  How well respected, you ask? They are currently doing work on the bridge, renovating it and bolstering it against the ever increasing load it bears.  Instead of blocking off everything under the bridge, they have left a path leading up the troll, as well as the troll itself, accessible.  Now, if you step one yard left of the troll, you are in a hard-hat required area.  However, feel free to climb up the troll without any protection, because the workers are all off to one side.  

All in all, I love hot chocolate, and thoroughly enjoyed the vacation.  Big thanks go out to The Girlfriend's friend and her husband for putting us up/ chauffeuring us around for the weekend.  And a bigger thanks go out to The Girlfriend for letting me tag along.

Word.

Drop Everything Now, Meet Me In the Pouring Rain

I'm writing essays.  A lot of them.

I hope that at least explains some of the 1 month+ absence from an update.  When you spend your spare time trying to put together paragraphs, it really decreases your drive to write more for some extra-curricular activity. I mean, if your job was to make birthday cakes, I don't know how excited you would be to make some cupcakes for a bake-sale.

However, I'm going to give a quick heads-up because if you haven't been watching baseball in the past month, your life has been at least 30% less amazing.  Between the playoff surges of the Rays and Cardinals (better than calling them collapses by the Red Sox and Braves, although collapses is far more accurate) in late September, to the opening rounds all going at least 4 games, to the Cardinals defying all baseball logic with their pitching staff and bullpen use to not only make it to the World Series, but have a lead on the Rangers (before last night), this years playoff's has been the best I have ever seen.  At the beginning of the series, I thought Cardinals in 6.  I'll stick with that.  Carpenter is on the hill tonight, and since he took yesterday off, Pujols will have a big night tonight. [Editor's note - Cardinals lost game 5 when the bullpen finally gave up a run.]

Where will I be during the game?  Odds are I'll be hunched under the sink.  I was thawing out a couple chicken breasts that had frozen together, using hot water to speed along the process.  After a little while they felt like I could separate them with a little force.  So I center the block of chicken over the divide separating the two sinks and pushed.  Next thing I know, I hear a loud pop and the sink shifts down about an inch.  That loud pop was two things.  The first was the remaining sliver of caulking on the front edge of the sink coming loose from the counter.  The second was the pipe that connects the drains between the two sinks, snapping in two.  Thankfully, I shut the water off as soon as the sink shifted, then heard the water dripping underneath, so I cleared everything out from under than and got a towel to dry it all up.  Today, I'll head over to Lowe's where they can tell me how to fix it.  Yes, they may have to spell it out for me in crayon, but everything should be fine by tonight.

In case you were wondering, the chicken was delicious.  Went over to the Girlfriend's place and marinated it in some Tuscan something or other and couple it with some grapes and string cheese.  It doesn't sound like much, but we had a lot of grapes.  Well, I had a lot of grapes.  The Girlfriend had a proper amount.

Speaking of the Girlfriend, this has also been the best baseball season she has ever seen.  It might be the first one as well, but still, it's a good start.  She's been a good sport about watching more televised sports in the past three months than maybe any year in her life (possibly her entire life combined, but that seems a bit hyperbolic).  She even nods appreciatively when I say things like "Why are they pitching to Pujols after he took them yard twice already?" or "Arthur Rhodes is still alive?  And pitching?  Really wish I was a left-hander."  I figure, if she's going to continue seeing me, she needs to be prepared for these types of comments and activities.

Things with her are going really well.  I really like her, and she kind of likes me, so it's the perfect balance.  We're heading off to Seattle in about a week and a half to visit one of her friends and her friend's husband.  I've met them before, and I'm a fan.  Plus, Seattle is a beautiful city, so I have no problem spending an extended weekend up there.  I am sad that there will not be a Baseball, football or even MLS game playing up there that weekend, but so be it.  I will soldier on.

Word.

It's Been Some Time Since We Last Spoke

Couple quick things while I still remember them:

1. Strawberry Dum-Dum pops taste just like that numbing stuff that dentists use right before they give you the shot. You know, they stick that pinkish-reddish goop on a q-tip and then delicately place it along your gumline so that the surface where they are going to stick the needle is desensitized? Yep, tastes just like a strawberry Dum-Dum pop. Unless you had the cherry goop, which tastes nothing like a cherry Dum-Dum pop. That one tastes like every other "cherry" medication out there.

2. I've decided my favorite time of year is the last half of spring, summer and the first part of fall. I like it warm for the most part, but today it was neither warm nor cold when I stepped out of the office for lunch. It was calm with a cool breeze. Perfect weather for anything outdoors. But then, I kept walking to my car and felt the sun shine down. I swear to you, I heard angels. It was like a warm wind, but not a wind at all. Just a gentle wash of warmth. Fantastic. On the downside, considering it is September, this is signifying that winter, my nemesis, is on its way. Still, going to enjoy this climate while its still enjoyable.

3. Go watch "Warrior". As expected, I loved it. Then again, I watch UFC fights and buy into dramatic movie characters. What wasn't nearly as expected was the girlfriend enjoying it. It was a later showing, and she's not shy about dozing off during a movie. She was on edge for the better part of the movie. The characters are all very well developed and it's almost impossible to avoid getting wrapped up in the dynamic relationships between the characters. You find yourself at times rooting for and against each of the three main characters, and none of it feels contrived. Just a solid movie from start to finish. It does have a fighting element, but it doesn't get deep enough into it to throw off those unfamiliar to the octagon (in the movie's case, a hexagon because UFC has trademarked the eight-sided ring). It's most certainly worth your $8.50.

4. Ribs are really good. I forget this from time to time, because in a steakhouse I almost always go for the steak. I mean, it's called a steakhouse and I hope there is a valid reason for that moniker. If there was a ribhouse, I feel I would have to order the ribs over the steak, but I'm yet to find out, and the closest alternative is a place called RibCity, where I had the pulled pork lunch plate. Anyway, went up to Park City and had the ribs (St. Louis spareribs. Baby back ribs annoy me with the low meat to bone ratio. Too much work, not enough payout) at Bandit Grill. Absolutely delicious. Only downside is that they didn't have a half-rack option. Thankfully, they do offer take home boxes and I've had ribs for dinner for the past three nights now. Odds are, tonight will make it four. In case you were wondering, they are fantastic. Just moved up a notch in my book.

5. Fall TV schedule is kicking off. Ask me if I checked the DVR to see if there was enough space to handle my course load of shows. Thankfully, there is plenty, and if needs be, I'll just hook up a hard drive to the thing and never worry about it. I mean, I watch a fair amount of shows. House, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Fringe, TUF, Jersey Shore, Top Shot, One Tree Hill, and those are just the ones I can name without pausing. Yes, it sounds like a lot, but it averages to like an hour a day. And other than an occasional Storage Wars or Pawn Stars (History Channel owns me) and, of course, sports, I don't watch a lot of TV. Thanks to the DVR and online streaming, I'm able to keep up with all of these. I know, it's impressive.

6. I miss the second TV. Watching college football is fantastic, but it was better when I had two games going at once. Now with one, I'm having to flip back and forth, and I always feel like I'm missing something. The better part of the week will be spent on figuring out how to make the picture-in-picture work on the TV. I know it's not the same, but it will have to do.

Word.

If You Wanna Go And Take A Ride Wit Me

As the White Sox play out the rest of the string, and the Diamondbacks lock up the NL West, I feel it's appropriate to discuss my past doings with all of you.

For reasons I'm still not 100% sure of, work got extremely busy from August 18th, until about Tuesday (Sep 6). Like, 3 to 4 fold more busy than the average day. Most people would get upset if their work days suddenly felt like three crammed into one, however, since my job is mostly commission based, I was more pleased than an Arkansan in a "Everything Made of Buffalo Bone" shop. (Let's not kid ourselves. Who wouldn't be ecstatic in that shop?) The downside is that it didn't leave a lot of time to slap something up here. For that, I make no apologies. I had to choose to between making money, and informing the two people (Ok, mostly just my sister, a couple times a day) that read this about my activities. When typing this out leads to cashing checks, maybe I'll shift my focus. Do not hold your breath, as I know I don't have the time to commit to such an endeavor, and I question whether I have the literary chops to develop something that interesting. How many sites do you visit on a daily basis? How many of them are so you can read something? I have about 5. Couple blogs, ESPN, MSN and Grantland. I'm sure there is someway I could have a notification inform me of a new post, instead of having to check on the daily, but I like checking things, and they are kind enough to link blogs to other friends so that I don't have to type in all of the other addresses. For that, I say thank you.

The other things that have kept me busy are some road trips. The weekend before labor day, I went down to St. George with a couple buddies and the girlfriend. We had a blast, played some golf and hiked the Narrows in Zion's. I should note that the girlfriend was the only girl there. Yes, she did come golfing with us. She became very good at driving the cart, as well as smiling and telling me that "Oh, it looked like a really good hit" when I would knock the ball into the trees/water/highway. She's kind like that. She's also forgiving because on the golf course, well, you tend to relax a little bit. Which can get awkward, given that when you relax on a golf course it is usually with a bunch of guys. I feel/hope this is universal, but same gender comments and conversation are different than mixed gender ones. In those potentially awkward moment, she would either feign having not heard it, or she would just smile and shake her head a little. We'd all laugh, except for whomever made the comment that time, and then keep on playing.

(This is the one photo taken during this entire weekend, just before we started the hike in Zion's. I'll let you figure out who is the girlfriend.)

The hike was terrific. It isn't a steep hike, but it is long, and you spend the entire time in a knee-deep stream. It took me a little while figuring out how to secure my footing on the submerged, rocky terrain, but after that you just keep going. The cool water keeps you from feeling too hot at any given point, so you never feel like it's a chore. However, once it's over and you're sitting on the tram back to the parking lot, you realize just how much work you put in. Either way, I highly recommend it, and if you have the time, stop by the Bistro (that's its name) in Hurricane on the way out. Delicious food there. They seemed to be seasonal, so they probably shut it down in the winter, which is when the national parks in that area shut down as well.

So I came home from that great weekend, put in my week of work, kaplan, and softball, and then this past Labor Day weekend, I went up to Idaho Falls. I've made two trips to Idaho, and one trip through it. This was the first time that I was not having to wear multiple layers or question whether I should put tiger balm on my toes to remind me they still exist. It was a little brisk, but nothing a pair of jeans and hoodie couldn't fix.

The girlfriend needed to go up there because her dad had just accepted a position in New York, and would be moving there for the next 5+years. By the time this posts, he'll already be there. She asked if I wanted to go. Another chance to take a pseudo vacation outside of Utah County? Yep. I'm going to do that.

We left Friday right after I got out of work. I didn't stop to eat before leaving, so by 8pm, I was hungry something fierce. Thankfully, we were entering the bustling metropolis that is... Malad. I'm pretty sure that Malad is in Idaho, but it might still be Utah. It was near the border, and the girlfriend let me know that it was the last quasi-town until Pocatello, another hour or so down the road. Pulled into some diner and had the biggest fried pork sandwich I've ever seen. It was too big for me to pick up, and I vastly preferred my food picked up as opposed to forked and knifed. (And yes, it is knifed, not knived. I had to look it up because it looked weird.) On the upside, it was really good with some gravy and mashed potatoes.

Got into Idaho Falls, stepped outside, and was really glad I had a hoodie in the car. The days never got cold, but the mornings and evenings were a different story. We made it to the girlfriend's mom's house around 10 pm, and ran outside to lay on their trampoline and look at all the stars. (bee-tee-dub, there are a bajillion stars up there that you forget about until you find yourself in some remote place and are able to pause and just look up. It is truly amazing.) She brought a blanket, but that wasn't good enough. I was literally shaking for a couple minutes as natural survival instincts kicked in and my body realized it needed to generate more heat to keep core temperatures within reasonable ranges. The next night we went to a drive in movie. Yes they still exist. Rumor is that there are only about 20 or drive ins still operating in the United States. Idaho Falls has two of them. The point of the matter is that this time, we brought three blankets. One was a denim blanket made from swatches cut out of jeans. I did not know this was common practice. It is. This thing was fantastically warm. We had a lovesac in the back of her sister's truck and with three blankets, we stayed warm while being visually assaulted by "Smurfs" followed by "Zookeeper". For the sake of all things good and holy, avoid both of these. Run, do not walk away from them. Slap anyone over the age of 8 who suggests either of them. If you see a fire, try and put it out by tossing every copy of them onto it. Either the pile with smother the flames, or the flames will consume the pile. Win-win.

The rest of the trip was highlighted by her grandfather's 92nd birthday, as well as a number of visits to/with her relatives. We spent most of the time with her sister and brother-in-law. Aside from letting us borrow said truck/lovesac/blankets, they invited us over a number of times to play with their kids and talk after the young'ns had retired. Great folks there. Couldn't thank them enough for their kindness and sincerity.

Oh, and we watched the BYU game with her dad and his wife. Tough game to watch, but thankfully the Cougs pulled off the victory. Should be an interesting matchup against Texas this weekend.

Came home Monday afternoon so I could have some time to prep for the Kaplan class I had Tuesday night. It was a great trip, and got to see a little more of the girlfriend's family. Great people up there.

Word.

Cheap Shades And A Tattoo And A Yoo-Hoo Bottle On The Floorboard

Well, if it's been a whole month between posts, you have to assume things got really busy for me. I mean, there were times I put new posts up during finals. Lucky for you, this morning is kind of slow, and I'm already square for my Kaplan class tonight, so I've found a little window of time to bang out a post.

Things have been going well my friends. Things have been going well. I have a lot of reasons for this, so it's time to just enumerate them and let you in on what has been icing my cakes recently.

1.) Mint.com. Can not fully express my love for this website. I've always been the type of person who lives within their means, but that typically meant spending nearly everything I made. This little beauty pulls all my accounts (banking, credit cards, paypal, loans, everything) into one spot and lets me know, "Hey, you're averaging this much income a month, and spending roughly this much on fast food, restaurants, golf, etc." From this, I've been able to structure things to start: A) Paying down my student loans, B ) Developing a legit plan for a savings account, C) Realizing where I can actually cut costs (started buying golf balls off eBay by the 100 pack, saving me roughly $0.60 a ball over new ones from the store. Aah, the advantages of not being great is that you don't really lose a lot of performance between using new balls vs used balls), D) Discovering what credit card might provide me with the best rewards package, given my spending habits. It's fantastic, free, and has a slick iPhone app. The app gives you a quick dashboard, lets you know of any alerts, and shows you any purchases or transfers you have made. For all of your accounts. Up until recently, I was using three different banks for all of my checking and savings accounts. I can not over emphasize how fantastic it was to see all of my accounts at once in one place. The only down side (and this is for protection) is that you're not able to make any transfers within Mint. It's just there to report and project, not to move and manipulate. So when I do have to make my monthly transfer to savings, or bill for rent, I have to go the bank directly, but that's not a big deal, and I appreciate the security. If someone hacks into my Mint account, they can see my balances, but they can't change them. Love this site, and at the low cost of free, can not love it more.

2.) Kaplan - Not the prepping part. That part is killing my Sunday and Monday nights. But now that I'm actually teaching a GMAT course, I'm getting paid at the teaching rate. And for whatever reason, it seems like they mail out their checks every Friday. I'm not complaining, because that means I'm getting a little extra kizzle (yep, sure did co-opt that from Courtney Gorden) seemingly every week. I do like extra money. It's not a lot, and probably wouldn't be enough to cover my basic living expenses, but when you only spend about 12 hours a week on it, you really can't expect it to. What you can expect is some pocket change to make life a little more enjoyable. I needed some new shorts and a pair of shoes. Thank you Kaplan for making those happen.

3.) The return of Jersey Shore. Oh man, is this show 100% pathetic, entertaining garbage. I love it. I really do. A lot of people have asked me why, and here's the current answer: Growing up, I never drank, and neither did any of the people I hung out with. They weren't members, but somehow I found a group of friends in high school that didn't drink. Needless to say, I never knew what people were like when they were drinking, so I tended to over-estimate how much their senses and judgment were impaired. Looking back at it, my projections of inebriated individuals matches up almost exactly with how the Jersey Shore-ites behave without alcohol. Only difference is that the Jersey Shore people stumble less. Let me re-phrase that - they stumble less sober than I would have imagined. Intoxicated they are like a toddler who just spent 5 minutes spinning with a bucket on his head. (Please do not ask how I know what this looks like.) So, yes, this show does thoroughly entertain me. However, the whole re-locating to Italy move is yet to add any real benefit yet. I'm hopeful, but not overly so.

4.) Playoff races. Diamondbacks up by 2.5 games. White Sox back by 3.5 games. It's getting

serious with only 40 or so games left. The dream is to have both of them make the playoffs, and possibly the World Series, but that's a dream.

5.) College football just over 2 weeks away. I love Baseball, in case any of you didn't know. I love it to the point that I get upset when they spend time talking about off-season NFL or NBA practices or scrimmages instead of more time on baseball. It infuriates me that NFL Live is year round while Baseball tonight is not, despite Baseball having a longer season. However, when they start talking about college football, I don't really mind as much. I plan on taking in at least two BYU games, and possibly more this season. And by take in, I mean watch in person. I plan on watching all of them, but most of them via television. Really makes me wish they still had UNLV on the schedule. A Vegas trip around a Cougars football game? Now that's ideal.

6.) Yoo-Hoo. I was talking with this really cute girl about camp outs and what was normally brought along for food. So of course, I mentioned ho-hos, hot dogs, swiss cake rolls, baked beans, and Yoo-Hoo. She nodded along until I got to the last one and then asked what it was. It wasn't that she never had it, but that she didn't know exactly what is was. Maybe this is a badge of honor for her parents, never having introduced her to the 0 nutritional value beverage that is Yoo-Hoo, but I was stunned. Of course, had to go find some. Compounding this issue was the fact that none the three nearest gas stations carried it in any form, bottle, can or even juice box. Now, maybe my memory is over compensating, but I'm willing to bet every gas station in Brevard County currently has at least one bottle of Yoo-Hoo in it's fridge. Next time you actually walk into the gas station, please check on this for me. I want to see if Yoo-Hoo is a local thing, or just absent in this locality. Either way, this led me to go to Walmart and buy a 12 pack of cans (I know, it's not as good as it is from the glass bottle, but it was that or the juice boxes, and juice boxes are so tiny) and introduce her to the goodness that is Yoo-Hoo. She was a good sport and drank a can, even though I could tell she would never ask for another. In her words, "It's like hot chocolate, but cold". In my words, "It's like awesome, but more awesome." I then drank the other 11 over the space of four days.

Word.

One Is One Too Many, One More Is Never Enough

Between attending the All-Star game on Tuesday, having Mike remind me of the video game number Barry Bonds put up between 2001 and 2004, and reading an article on Grantland.com, I got to thinking about the history of baseball. For me that includes grainy photos and videos of the all-time greats, as well as memories of traipsing through the halls of Cooperstown. But eventually, I wind up thinking about the great records that may or may not ever be broken. And I thought to myself, what record is never going to be broken? The obvious answer is Cy Young's career pitching W-L line. 511-316. I'm in the camp of "We might never see another 300 game winner ever again", so to think that someone would win 500 games, or lose 300 games, is so absurd, it's not even going to make this list.

I forget where the line is drawn separating the Modern Era of Baseball from the Pre-Modern Era, and I don't want to look it up right now, so I'm going to say 1941 starts the modern era. It was kind of a banner year. Ted Williams hit .406 and DiMaggio had his 56-game streak. (Guess who won the MVP that year? Joe D did. This, despite the fact that Williams led the league in Average, Slugging, On base, Home runs, runs, and walks [147 walks in 143 games]. New York bias.)

Seems like a good place in the sand to draw the line. I wanted to compile a list of the records established in the Modern Era that will never get broken, in order of most likely to be broken to least likely to ever be broken. (Side note: I started writing this on 7/14. On 7/15, ESPN ran a poll asking which record was least likely to get broken, since 1941. So, I guess I picked the right year.)

This will be one of the first, if not the first, posts that I will have to do the writing in parts, as I likely won't find all the ones worth listing in the first perusal, nor do I know them all off the top of my head. I know a lot of them that I don't think will ever get broken (Nolan Ryan's single season strikeout record, Ripken's consecutive game streak [Current active leader: Matt Kemp with 298. Not kidding.], and Barry Bond's intentional walks in a season are the most prominent ones), but some I'll have to research. I don't know how many bases Rickey Henderson stole in his prime, or how many wins Jamie Moyer garnered without ever throwing harder than 85.

In this case though, I don't mind the research. So, bear with me on this one. I'm only putting up 8. Why 8? Because I can't think of a ninth worth talking about.

8.) DiMaggio's 56 game hit streak. This one is going to be tough, but I feel that this is the classic monkeys with typewriters producing Shakespeare puzzle. Given that this one is about 70% skill and 30% luck, I'm fairly certain I'll see this one matched in my life time. And out of all the records listed, this is the one I want to have challenged. Nothing against The Yankee Clipper, but a 56 game hit streak would rivet the nation. People would start talking about baseball around work when they never had before. Your mothers and grandmothers would know about it. If you think I'm kidding, remember when McGwire and Sosa were chasing Roger Maris? Everyone was talking about it. Now, imagine that happening for a solid month? Everyday people asking the same question: Did he get a hit? For the record, I support any and all activities that get more people talking about baseball in a positive light.

7.) Nolan Ryan's single season strikeouts - 383. This one isn't as unbreakable as I first thought. Case in point, Randy Johnson had 372 in 2001. And he pitched 100 less innings, facing about 400 less hitters (The Big Unit was striking out people out more often then 1 out of every three he faced). But the reason why this is still on the list is because if Randy Johnson in his prime couldn't do it, who could? Everything is against pitchers today from breaking this record. The five man rotation, innings counts, bullpen specialization and utilization, PED's and the nutritional advances created in their wake. And here's the one I would like to mention - more pitchers throwing harder. This is counter-intuitive, but it makes sense. When Ryan was pitching, he was probably the only guy in the league rushing it up there at 100+. The most dangerous weapon in any pitcher's arsenal is the ability to change speeds and keep hitters off balance. Hitter back then were used to seeing fastballs in the upper 80s to low 90s. That's more or less what everyone could throw. So they develop a rhythm for that speed. Then, one day a week, Ryan takes the mound and is throwing 10 mph harder than what you're expecting. That's huge. It's would be akin to the first time someone developed a curve ball.

In today's game, every team has a starter that can touch mid to high 90s. They all don't have a Verlander who touches 99 in the 9th inning of a no-hitter, but they do have guys that are still throwing 95 in the 7th inning of a close game. There isn't a gap anymore. It's still hard to hit that speed, but you get a lot more practice when it's always that speed. No one is surprised by 99 mph anymore. in 1973, that was surprising. And that's why this one makes the list.

6.) Rickey Henderson's single season steals record - 130. Last year the league leader had 68. Who was that leader? Juan Pierre. Speed is still highly valued in baseball, just not on the basepaths. Rickey can thank Sabermetrics for all but assuring his record remains unassailed for years to come. The numbers tell us that steals are rarely worth the risk. There are a number of old school managers out there that still believe strongly in the advantages of getting the extra base, but they are few and far between, and will get roundly criticized when they run their team out of an inning.

5.) Barry Bonds walks and intentional walks in a season - 232 and 120. The second highest totals are both of those categories, by guys not named 'Bonds', are 60 less than his marks. He also holds the second and third highest single season totals, in both categories. These marks were record in his ridiculous season of 2004. He had an OPS of 1.422 and was hitting a home run every ninth at bat. But we're talking his walks here, and he got them by the boat load. During a weekend series against the Dodgers, he was walked 7 consecutive times. Twice he was walked all four times he came to plate, all four times intentionally. He was walked intentionally when the bases were loaded. Teams were more than willing to concede one run, than throw something in the strike zone. If you ever want to look at a dominating stat line for a hitter, his 2004 is hard to beat. It's only parallel is Bonds' own 2001 season, when he hit 73 jacks (or one per 6.5 at bats) and lead the league in BA, OBP, and Slugging. How he didn't get RBI's and take the triple crown, I'll never know. But for a four year stretch, he was simply over-sized head and shoulders above the league. Could you imagine if he still has the speed of his younger days when he was stealing 40 bases and was a Gold Glove left fielder? I just got goosebumps.

4.) Kerry Wood and Roger Clemens 9-inning game strikeouts - 20. You have to qualify the statement with "9-inning" otherwise the record goes to Tom Cheney who struck out 21 over 16 innings back in 1962. I didn't have a clue either. We've all grown. Here's why this one might not ever be broken. Last year, the Seattle Mariners were the worst hitting club ever assembled in the past 35 years. That's not hyperbole, it's statistical fact. And not even they were victims of a 20 strikeout or more game. If you want to make this record stand out even more, it means that if you don't have 6 strikeouts by the end of the fourth inning, you're not going to make it. You almost need to have some errors in the field so that the only outs come by way of strikeout. In fact, that was the only way I was able to get more than 20 in a video game. I had to actively move my fielders away from pop-ups, and have them not throw the ball on grounders. But that's a video game, and I also hit over 250 homers in a season.

3.) Atlanta Braves Consecutive Division titles - 14. I do need to put a small asterisk, as this was over a 15 year stretch, but since division titles were not awarded in the strike shortened season of 1994, we can omit that year altogether. 1991-2005, the Braves were the champs of their division. Every. Single. Year. The first three were in the bigger NL West, before realignment created three divisions in each league, and slotted the Braves in the NL East. Nothing mattered, they dominated, year in and year out. Behind ace pitching (between Smoltz, Glavine and Maddux, the Braves were awarded 6 Cy Young awards in this span), and surprising hitting, they just kept winning. They did get lucky a couple years, and did catch some breaks, but more often then not, they simply were better than the other teams in their division, and took care of their business.

What's hard to believe is how recent this was set. We have had 9 different World Series Champions in the last ten years. 14 different teams have reached the World Series in that time span. Needless to say, there is a substantial amount of parity in today's game. And yet, just 6 years ago, the Braves were half way through the last year of their dynasty. During the 90's, they represented the NL in 5 of the 9 World Series. You have to go back to the 50's Yankees of DiMaggio and Mantle to find any team that showed up to more than 50% of the decade's World Series (8 of 10), with only other team being Babe Ruth's Yankees of the 20's (6 of 10). It's just so difficult to imagine one team being on top of their division for so long. No team has even a five year streak going. Come to think of it, I don't think there's a team with more than 3 right now. So to have a streak lasting 15 years, my goodness.

2.) Bob Gibson's single season ERA - 1.12. This one has to be on the list because of when it was set, but it shouldn't be on the list for that same reason. The mound was higher, stadiums were bigger, and the ball wasn't wound nearly as tight as it is now. All of these things, coupled with Gibson being, frankly, awesome, combined to give us this ridiculous stat line. To give you a perspective, a really good pitcher will throw about 225 innings a year, give or take a dozen. That's about 32 starts going 7 innings per start on average. To beat Gibson's mark, he would only be able to allow 28 earned runs. Less than one per start. Pitchers have beaten that mark over a month or two, but all it takes is one bad start, and you're done. You give up six runs in a game, and forget about it. And in today's game, chances are you're going to give up six runs in one of those 32 starts.

1.) Cal Ripken Jr's consecutive games played streak - 2632. I don't know how high to put this one. Mostly, I don't know if I can put anything above it. It combines two elements that in today's game are contradictory: being really good, and being consistently healthy. You can't have one without the other. Case in point, look at the number of players who were absent for the All-Star game, despite being named to the team. They all took the game off to nurse some injuries. If you're going to be good enough to make the lineup, you have to play hard. And if you play hard, you're going to get hurt. There's no two ways about it. So, the odds that another player is going to come along and string together 16+ seasons of above average production, without missing a game, especially in this era where players are more likely to rest minor injuries than not, are minuscule. I don't have a lot of money, but I would bet all of it that this record will not fall. Certainly not in my life time. Unless they allow robots to play. Then all bets are off.

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