Friday, November 13, 2009

And She Can Transform Like Optimus Prime

I was watching Saved By The Bell the other day, and it got me thinking. How did Slater get his classic fro-mullet hybrid to become the wavy doo that he sports today? There is no way his hair just magically changed overnight, right? So one of them has to be fake, and the other real. Which of course, leads me to which is which? Also, if his real hair is the wavy style, at what point in the Saved By The Bell casting process did someone say, "Well, that hair looks fine, but you know what would be better... a mullet! No, wait, a mullet made of a mini afro! How can that not sell his uber-heterosexual, all-state in four sports character?"
The only rational argument I've been able to pull together is that Zack had wavy hair, and so for those people who still might have been using a black and white tv, they had an easy way to separate the three main males. Then I thought, maybe it was an early 90's thing. Maybe, but no. Name me one other character from that era, (or any for that matter) that also sported the fro-mullet? Nothing for you either, huh. Interesting.
Do you think Slater (I refuse to call him by his real name, solely on the premise that names don't get much A) cooler, or B) appropriate than Slater was for his character. If you're named Slater and built like he was, people clear paths just at the sound of your name.) looks back and regrets the cumulative days he spent in the hair salon getting a perm every week? (How frequent would he need to have this re-done? I understand it's called a perm, but how long before his roots grew out and over threw the curly ends? And talk about and ugly transition phase. He would almost have to shave it all off and let it completely regrow.)
Also, did I spend a whole post talking about Slater's hair? Yes. Yes I did.
Word.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

These Streets Will Make You Feel Brand New, Big Lights Will Inspire You

I spent every year of college betting against the Yankees. And every year, I lost that bet. This year, I bet on the Yankees, and now, barring an absurd turn of events, I have come out victorious. It was far too close than it should have been- Mets, Mariners, Rockies, I'm looking at you- but alas, the victory was secured in the Inaugural "Inaugural Rick Russell Knows More About Baseball Than I Do" competition. (It should be noted, there was an entry better then mine, but since he didn't feel the terms were fair, he was unwilling to turn over the dollar upon failure, and therefore negated his opportunity to receive the crisp Grant portrait. Sad news for him, lucky news for me.)
Even though the major awards haven't been announced yet, based on the point spread and likelihood of my opponent picking up those points, it's all over but the shouting. The only way for me to have defeat snatched out of the jaws of victory hinges on Chris Carpenter, Albert Pujols, Joba Chamberlain and Josh Hamilton. If three or more of them win their respective awards, I'll lose. Now, Pujols is a lock, and Carpenter has a good case, and I think Lincecum will take it, but those other two...no chance. None.
And even chalking up those point to Jared, I would still win by 3 points. I know. Far closer then anyone expected, but there you have it. This is what happens when you don't care about the NL. He gained 34 points, not including individual awards, in NL related categories. That's a whooping. Now I know how Randy Johnson feels when he has to step in the batter's box.
So to Jared, you kept in interesting, but alas, have fallen short. You'll be getting an email with the spreadsheet. Consider this a notice that I'm looking forward to your inscribed dollar bill.
Word.
PS-I now understand why Mike is a Yankees fan. It's great to cheer for the favorite, especially when they win. Regardless, White Sox till the casket drops.