These Streets Will Make You Feel Brand New, Big Lights Will Inspire You

I spent every year of college betting against the Yankees. And every year, I lost that bet. This year, I bet on the Yankees, and now, barring an absurd turn of events, I have come out victorious. It was far too close than it should have been- Mets, Mariners, Rockies, I'm looking at you- but alas, the victory was secured in the Inaugural "Inaugural Rick Russell Knows More About Baseball Than I Do" competition. (It should be noted, there was an entry better then mine, but since he didn't feel the terms were fair, he was unwilling to turn over the dollar upon failure, and therefore negated his opportunity to receive the crisp Grant portrait. Sad news for him, lucky news for me.)
Even though the major awards haven't been announced yet, based on the point spread and likelihood of my opponent picking up those points, it's all over but the shouting. The only way for me to have defeat snatched out of the jaws of victory hinges on Chris Carpenter, Albert Pujols, Joba Chamberlain and Josh Hamilton. If three or more of them win their respective awards, I'll lose. Now, Pujols is a lock, and Carpenter has a good case, and I think Lincecum will take it, but those other two...no chance. None.
And even chalking up those point to Jared, I would still win by 3 points. I know. Far closer then anyone expected, but there you have it. This is what happens when you don't care about the NL. He gained 34 points, not including individual awards, in NL related categories. That's a whooping. Now I know how Randy Johnson feels when he has to step in the batter's box.
So to Jared, you kept in interesting, but alas, have fallen short. You'll be getting an email with the spreadsheet. Consider this a notice that I'm looking forward to your inscribed dollar bill.
Word.
PS-I now understand why Mike is a Yankees fan. It's great to cheer for the favorite, especially when they win. Regardless, White Sox till the casket drops.