Through the Sleepless Nights and Every Endless Day

I couldn't sleep at all last night. Just when I thought I was going to slip away, I would snap back into alertness and have to restart the gradual down shift. No position was comfortable, the pillow wasn't the right consistency, nothing seemed to be working last night.

This was not, however, one of those I-can't-sleep-because-everything's-hitting-the-fan nights. this more like Christmas Eve. Maybe more like Christmas Eve when I was eleven, back before I knew 90% of what I was getting before the unwrapping. You see today is the home opener for the mighty cougars. I have been preparing for this day for the past month and finally it is here. If you were wondering if I spent the last couple days scouting out the UVSC team, you'd be correct. (For the record, I don't know how we lost to them a week ago. Just doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's why they play the games.)

Back are the evenings of two hot dogs, churro, milk duds and a large coke for dinner. Back are the nights of mild hypothermia, wondering if it's worth spending another 3.50 for my fourth cup of hot chocolate. Most importantly, back are the days of shouting at the players, coaches and umpires that displease me.

I've tried heckling at other sports. Soccer games are too fast paced for people to notice. Basketball is good, but not as predictable. Football works, but the crowds are too large for the players to really hear it. Hence, Baseball is the best of all the heckle-able sports. You sit close enough to read the time off their watches, but are allowed to scream at them really whenever you want.

I am ready.

This isn't the main reason for the posting, it's actually quite unrelated, but I would be remiss if I did not lead off with the most important item. If you asked me what I got for dinner at outback, I would have to tell you the steak, although we all know, it is the cheese fries that keeps bringing me back.

Mostly, I realized that I need four things really: Food, Baseball, Shelter and Recognition. Probably in that order. After today, the first three are met sufficiently. It's that fourth one that has fallen short. I can't be the only one of this mindset, but I feel better about myself when people remember my name, or at least remember that they once knew who I was. Conversely, when someone doesn't remember me, it perturbs me a little.

If you're reading this, you know I make impressions. They're not always good ones, but nevertheless, people typically remember meeting me. Go ahead. Remember back to your first impression of me. Yep, that happened. It sure did. I might not do that again, but for better or worse, I'll stand by what I did then. The point is, it's memorable. I'm a loud, prideful, funny guy who uses his intellect, or lack thereof to make the situation more enjoyable.

Needless to say, when I spend two evening with a girl (I was not her date, but was there on the date with her and her date both times), I expect at least for the girl to have a remembrance of me. When those two activities are 1) a monster truck rally, and 2) cooking a dinner and playing a board game, I find it near impossible for someone to forget me.

But it happened. Amazing. I'm still dumbfounded.

I see her strolling through campus, and make definite eye contact, and even begin to say hello, when she gives me the "Why are you looking at me? I don't know you and the fact that you're looking at me weirds me out a little" smile. I stopped saying hello and let my jaw dangle there for a while. This, coincidentally, is the same reaction I give when someone says they've never been to a baseball game, or that they never had pizza flavored Combo's. I'm stunned at their ignorance, and saddened by their situation.

Makes me wonder if maybe I don't make that big of an impression on people. Maybe I'm just a fly on the... oh heck no I'm not. I'm not even going to finish that sentence. That's preposterous. I'm amazing. I'm Rick Russell dang it! I do work! What is her deal, now that's a question worth asking. I will tell you this though, if it she shows up to the ball game tonight and still doesn't remember me, you really have to wonder if she has her own home lobotomy kit. I would say yes. Word.