I'll Be Waiting Here, Santa That's My Only Wish This Year

There are too many people asking me what I want for Christmas. Between all the celeb-utantes, athletes, starlets and congressman, my voice mailbox is stuffed with pleas requesting guidance as to what they should give me. So, I figured I'd make it easy and just publish the list. I thought about registering somewhere, but the only store here is ACE Hardware. Not to besmirch ACE, but not even they carry everything on my list.

So, to make things simpler for everyone, especially me so I don't have to tell everyone individually, here is the list of things that you could and should get me for Christmas:

1) Some ownership in Half.com and/or Betterworldbooks.com. I have what must be described as unhealthy addiction to the healthy activity of reading, and between those two websites have pushed my personal library to new levels. It's at the point where I have to leave over a dozen books behind on the rock, while taking about as many back home. I simply don't have the luggage room. Oh, and to get myself established in Utah, I already have a shipment of five books on their way. Yep, I buy them 5 at a time. You don't?

2) An express lane from Florida to Utah. It only needs to be up for about a week, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. It'll be like the secret path that only StoneCutters were allowed to drive on. It's a pretty long trip, and I'm willing to bet there will be snow on parts, so an express lane that is free of other cars and poor road conditions would be nice of you all. I figure since it's little bigger, two people can go in together on this.

3) A 5k time under 30 minutes. Right now, I'd be lucky to keep it under 40, but that's ridiculous considering my age and my self-image. I know that if I went running today, I wouldn't make a mile without stopping. But I also know that tomorrow I could go sub 8 minutes. (I know because I used to always run to D'Angelo's 'Untitled which runs a little over 7 minutes, and I would finish the mile a couple seconds into the next track. And usually on the second day of any sort of regiment, I could make that happen.) Now, I'm not the smartest, but I know that even a 9-min mile will get your 5k time under 30. I just need someone to remind me that when I'm out running one. Rex Lee Run, I'm looking at you.

4) A Baseball/softball championship. It's no secret my love for Baseball runs deeper than the Mariana Trench. Now that I'm coming back to the states, I look forward to city rec leagues, especially ones that don't have former AAA talent playing in them. Come spring, I'll be on at least one team. What I also plan on looking into is being involved one way or another with the local Little League program. I spent 8 seasons from 1st-8th grade playing in the local little league back home. I just assumed that's what everyone did growing up. Why wouldn't they? Turns out, there are thousands of boys in Utah who never play little league Baseball. Blew my mind. In fact, I don't know one person who grew up in Utah and actually played in little league ball. It hurts my soul to know this is going on. So, I'm going to see what type of time commitment they're looking for, and see if I can be of some service to them. I've been tracking this game for over 20 years. I have a lot to share.

5) Tootsie Rolls. Of course.

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