Cost of Livings High, And Going Up

I blame my Dad.  I really do.  For my looks, my mannerisms, and my vocal rhythms.  However, today I blame him for my activities last Saturday.  During my pre-teen and early teen years, every now and then my father would wake me up around 6:45 am and only say "We're leaving in ten minutes.  Be ready."  Thankfully, we were never heading to a speed-dating convention or a social gathering where looks or smell mattered, because 10 minutes to get ready meant 7 more minutes of sleep and three minutes of changing my clothes, finding a hat and brushing my teeth.  Shower?  Yeah, that wasn't happening.  I was gross, but I was young and not interested in dating, so I feel it can be overlooked.  I might be wrong about that.

Regardless, by 6:55 am we were in the car.  More often then not we would go to an auction.  Not like a Sotheby's auction of fine art or exotic real estate.  I mean an auction where they sold folding chairs by the dozen.  Where you both loose wrenches by the box.  Where you could buy an industrial safe and the forklift to carry it away.  That type of auction.  It combined my Dad's job - running a business - with his hobby - finding a good deal.  He would bring me along mostly to spend time with him, but I think to also show me that you can save money on any purchase, if you kept your eyes open.

Case in point: At one auction they had a lot of 8 sport-style walkman's.  Not discman's.  Walkman's.  This was about a year before the cassette completely died, so the writing was clearly on the wall.  The lot came up and no one was bidding on it.  My dad threw a $10 bill at it, and took it home.  That next Christmas, a number of cousins received these under their trees.  At least they had a built-in radio, so they weren't completely useless.  We had a half full box of these walkman's sitting in my dad's office for at least 3 years.  To this day, I'm not sure what happened to the remainder of them.  It doesn't really matter because he paid $10 for Christmas gifts to like 4 or 5 cousins.  That's a bargain.  He could have used the rest for skeet, or donated them to the Smithsonian's collection of antiquated technologies, and it would have still been a steal.

This all leads me to Saturday.  Saturday morning, I informed the Betrothed (yep, she's no longer the Girlfriend, she has been promoted, and I simply don't like saying the word 'Fiance', so it's Bethrothed) that we were going to meet some of Provo's finest.  We were heading to a storage auction.  Remember how I said that I would only spend three minutes getting ready?  I feel like that was 2 minutes more than anyone else who showed up to those events.  This morning was no different.  If you weren't wearing at least 2 pieces of denim, or one piece of camo, you were over dressed.  If you didn't urinate beside your car, you were fancy.  If you showed up in anything other than a suburban or truck, you were putting on airs.  I brought the Betrothed.  I had also showered and I think shaved.  We were like two ice cubes in a sand pit.

They had three units going for sale.  Being that I had spent months going to these things in Florida, I developed a game called "How much will it go for?"  Additionally, I would play "How much am I willing to pay for it?", but the first number always exceeded the second number.  The first unit was empty except 2 20" rims and some old car batteries. I said I'd throw $20 at it.  Someone else got it for $20.  The next one had a table and some chairs, a mannikin and an old TV.  I said it would go for $150, but I wouldn't pay more than $125.  Sure enough, went for $150.  The last one looked like a garage vomited into a storage locker.  Two fridges, some assorted furniture and miscellaneous items.  I thought it would go for $450.  Dude jumped the bid from $50 to $400 and everyone else backed off.  And that was the end of it.  I was thoroughly entertained the whole time.  The Betrothed laughed herself to tears (no, literally tears came out of her eyes) at the guy who bought the last one.  Between his track pants with the vented legs, in case he worked up a sweat, or the sweatshirt barely covering his tremendous girth, or the U of U beanie with fake, white, spikey hair coming out of the top, this guy was a class act.  Just a sight to behold.

That was the morning.  Later that evening the Betrothed's ward had a Christmas party and auction to raise funds for a sub-for-Santa-esque program.  Good food and a show?  Don't mind if I do.  One of the items up for bids was a wedding/birthday cake from one of the Stake Relief Society leaders.  I'm pretty sure I was the only engaged person in the room, so I bid on it.  A couple other people bid, but when I went to $40, it was just me and the second counselor in the bishopric.  He went to $45, so I went to $50.  He then went to $60, and I thought, "it's for a good cause" and went to $75, thinking that would end things.  He then bid $90.  I backed off.  Now, at the time, I didn't realize that wedding cakes go for like $300.  I thought they went for like $100-$150.  Had I know that, I probably would have kept going.  But instead, I stopped and he won it at $90.  His wife turned back to us from across the room and mouthed "We're buying it for your wedding."  Turns out, that was their plan from the start.  And I ran the guy up another $30.  Thanks.

We called the baker, who the Betrothed has known for a while and she informed us to just pick out whatever cake we wanted.  Just send her a picture and she'll make it.  The Betrothed asked what I wanted the cake to be like.  I said "Tasty".  I stand by that.  Make it look like whatever you want, but make sure I enjoy eating it.  I'm sure we'll have a tasting of some sort down the road.  The big day is still more than 3 months off, so we have a lot of stuff to line up between now and then. But things are starting to get busy.

Word.

If You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Ring On It

So, Monday night, I asked a very important question to a very special girl.  To let her know I was serious, I gave her something shiny:

She said yes, and there you have it.  

Word.

You Can Pull All The Cards But I Won't Back Down

Eat Tootsie Rolls
Play Tetris
Take Standardized Tests
Predict Baseball Seasons

Those are four things that I do really well.  With the announcement of Ryan Braun getting the NL MVP award (yes, Matt Kemp was most certainly robbed, especially when you factor in the protection Ryan Braun had batting in front of Prince Fielder), the 2011 Baseball Season has finally come to a close.  Accompanying this is the close of the 3rd Annual Rick Russell Knows More About Baseball Than I Do contest.  And in case you were wondering, yours truly was once more victorious over all-comers.

This was closer than most, as I relied on my MVP picks to carry the day for me, but a 6 point victory over the next nearest competitor is still a win.  For those of you playing, please prepare a $1 bill with the following script:
"Rick Russell knows more about baseball than I do - 2011"
(Signature)

If I have not received these by Christmas Day, expect a phone call.  I have a wall to fill.

Word

What I Don't Know, I Catch On Real Quick

I have to admit, I've wasted titles twice in a row now.  Both of the previous two titles could have been better used on the subsequent post, as opposed to the ones that they currently head.

Either way, I just got back from a trip to Seattle this past weekend.  I've been fortunate to spend roughly 2 weeks in the Seattle/Northwestern Washington area in my life, and out of that time, it has rained only a day and a half.  For all this talk about being a rainy city, I'm throwing out my BS flag.  The Girlfriend and I flew in on Friday, and it was drizzling a bit that afternoon and early evening.  However, all Saturday and Sunday it was clear and sunny skies.  Monday morning had a slight drizzle before we boarded the plan back to SLC, but that was it.  For that, Seattle, I thank you.

Now you're asking yourself, why did I go to Seattle.  Because I can.  Well, that and The Girlfriend's friend went and moved there a couple months ago and has been asking The Girlfriend to make a visit ever since.  I came along because, well, I can, and because I had met the friend and her husband and found them both to be enjoyable.  To give things a more tangible impression, here's a picture of the four of us.  If you can tell me where that photo was taken, I will award you five tootsie rolls.  Note: none of the four people in the picture qualify for the tootsie roll reward.

These people are some fun people.  They found this thing called CityPass which got us into the major area attractions for a little less than half the retail price.  Science Center, Aquarium, Zoo, Space Needle, EMP, Harbor Tour.  Yep, did all of them for less than what we spent on hot chocolate the weekend. (Got to the point that we just decided to buy a gallon milk, a box of mix and just load canteens before we left for the day.  Have I told you that I hate being cold, as does The Girlfriend.  I brought two jackets and three sweaters for a three and half day trip.  And a hoodie.)

Everything was great except for the Ye Olde Curiosity shop after the Harbor Tour.  They're going to make a comment about it because it's right on the pier.  For future reference, you can skip this place.  It's a souvenir shop with a wall of not-so-curious things.  In their cabinet, they have an Ichiro baseball card.  Not even a rookie card, just and Ichiro card.  Now, you can make the argument that while the card itself is not curious, its inclusion certainly is, but you should not have to go to that level to qualify a Curiosity shop.  Boo on the Ye Olde Curiosity shop.  Boo.

Ok, now I need to preface this.  Growing up in coastal Florida, I was always near the water and the wild-life that it had.  However, I never saw a fish, or a stingray, or even a manatee and thought, "I want to touch that."  Nope.  I figured they were doing their thing, I'm going to just do mine.  And then when I found out about things like stinging coral or anenomees during scuba certification, well that just reinforced my bias.  So, when we stroll into the aquarium and they have this large exhibit where you can touch starfish or anenomees or urchins, I wanted no part in it.  The other three comrades thought this was an opportunity not to be missed, so they kept petting them and letting the tentacles attach to or close around their fingers.  Me?  I petted the immobile starfish that looked/felt like a football.  That's good enough for me.  Thanks.  Next exhibit please.  Oh, and a dry towel would be great as well.

I remember when the Experience Music Project (EMP) opened back in 2000 because I was in Seattle when it happened.  I was there for EFY (Why Seattle?  Florida didn't have one that year.  The closest was in Atlanta.  I figured if I had to fly anyway, might as well go as far as I can.) and arriving a day early, had the chance to read a newspaper that told me about it's opening.  I thought it was amazing and wanted to go ever since.  Hearing that it was on the CityPass, well that sealed it for me.  For a museum, it is unlike any other museum I have been to.  A lot of the exhibits are interactive or video-screen based, and I can only watch so many of those before I get bored.  Give me a cool piece and then an even better story behind it and I'm enthralled for hours.  It's a little embarrassing, but I can't help not read the plaques accompanying stuff that I generally don't care about.   I now know the back-story of Battlestar Galactica.  Not that I've ever seen an episode, or even want to, but because there was a large description of it on a wall.  Because of this, the Nirvana exhibit was great.  I like Nirvana, but I don't thing I've ever owned an album of theirs, and I'm almost certain I've never paid money for a song of theirs. (Notice how I left a loophole regarding napster-esque downloading.  Intentional.)  However, their exhibit was great.  I had no clue that Dave Grohl didn't join the band until 1990, or that Kurt would collect the pickups and other parts of the recently smashed guitars to reuse for repairs.  Now, I do.

Oh, and an inverted tree of guitars and other instruments is always cool.

We ended the trip by first heading out to Snoqualmie Falls.  Want to know the best part about these falls, aside from the view?  The lack of hiking required to see them.  Big fan right there.  Just park, stroll over a skybridge and there you are.  Very pitcturesque setting.  From there we trekked over to the Freemont Troll.  No, it did not have neon hair that stuck straight up.  No, it was not actually a goblin, despite the name.  And no, it slowly move across water while we fished.  It was however a large sculpture of a troll that resides under a bridge.  It's a city monument and is well respected and taken care of.  How well respected, you ask? They are currently doing work on the bridge, renovating it and bolstering it against the ever increasing load it bears.  Instead of blocking off everything under the bridge, they have left a path leading up the troll, as well as the troll itself, accessible.  Now, if you step one yard left of the troll, you are in a hard-hat required area.  However, feel free to climb up the troll without any protection, because the workers are all off to one side.  

All in all, I love hot chocolate, and thoroughly enjoyed the vacation.  Big thanks go out to The Girlfriend's friend and her husband for putting us up/ chauffeuring us around for the weekend.  And a bigger thanks go out to The Girlfriend for letting me tag along.

Word.

Drop Everything Now, Meet Me In the Pouring Rain

I'm writing essays.  A lot of them.

I hope that at least explains some of the 1 month+ absence from an update.  When you spend your spare time trying to put together paragraphs, it really decreases your drive to write more for some extra-curricular activity. I mean, if your job was to make birthday cakes, I don't know how excited you would be to make some cupcakes for a bake-sale.

However, I'm going to give a quick heads-up because if you haven't been watching baseball in the past month, your life has been at least 30% less amazing.  Between the playoff surges of the Rays and Cardinals (better than calling them collapses by the Red Sox and Braves, although collapses is far more accurate) in late September, to the opening rounds all going at least 4 games, to the Cardinals defying all baseball logic with their pitching staff and bullpen use to not only make it to the World Series, but have a lead on the Rangers (before last night), this years playoff's has been the best I have ever seen.  At the beginning of the series, I thought Cardinals in 6.  I'll stick with that.  Carpenter is on the hill tonight, and since he took yesterday off, Pujols will have a big night tonight. [Editor's note - Cardinals lost game 5 when the bullpen finally gave up a run.]

Where will I be during the game?  Odds are I'll be hunched under the sink.  I was thawing out a couple chicken breasts that had frozen together, using hot water to speed along the process.  After a little while they felt like I could separate them with a little force.  So I center the block of chicken over the divide separating the two sinks and pushed.  Next thing I know, I hear a loud pop and the sink shifts down about an inch.  That loud pop was two things.  The first was the remaining sliver of caulking on the front edge of the sink coming loose from the counter.  The second was the pipe that connects the drains between the two sinks, snapping in two.  Thankfully, I shut the water off as soon as the sink shifted, then heard the water dripping underneath, so I cleared everything out from under than and got a towel to dry it all up.  Today, I'll head over to Lowe's where they can tell me how to fix it.  Yes, they may have to spell it out for me in crayon, but everything should be fine by tonight.

In case you were wondering, the chicken was delicious.  Went over to the Girlfriend's place and marinated it in some Tuscan something or other and couple it with some grapes and string cheese.  It doesn't sound like much, but we had a lot of grapes.  Well, I had a lot of grapes.  The Girlfriend had a proper amount.

Speaking of the Girlfriend, this has also been the best baseball season she has ever seen.  It might be the first one as well, but still, it's a good start.  She's been a good sport about watching more televised sports in the past three months than maybe any year in her life (possibly her entire life combined, but that seems a bit hyperbolic).  She even nods appreciatively when I say things like "Why are they pitching to Pujols after he took them yard twice already?" or "Arthur Rhodes is still alive?  And pitching?  Really wish I was a left-hander."  I figure, if she's going to continue seeing me, she needs to be prepared for these types of comments and activities.

Things with her are going really well.  I really like her, and she kind of likes me, so it's the perfect balance.  We're heading off to Seattle in about a week and a half to visit one of her friends and her friend's husband.  I've met them before, and I'm a fan.  Plus, Seattle is a beautiful city, so I have no problem spending an extended weekend up there.  I am sad that there will not be a Baseball, football or even MLS game playing up there that weekend, but so be it.  I will soldier on.

Word.

It's Been Some Time Since We Last Spoke

Couple quick things while I still remember them:

1. Strawberry Dum-Dum pops taste just like that numbing stuff that dentists use right before they give you the shot. You know, they stick that pinkish-reddish goop on a q-tip and then delicately place it along your gumline so that the surface where they are going to stick the needle is desensitized? Yep, tastes just like a strawberry Dum-Dum pop. Unless you had the cherry goop, which tastes nothing like a cherry Dum-Dum pop. That one tastes like every other "cherry" medication out there.

2. I've decided my favorite time of year is the last half of spring, summer and the first part of fall. I like it warm for the most part, but today it was neither warm nor cold when I stepped out of the office for lunch. It was calm with a cool breeze. Perfect weather for anything outdoors. But then, I kept walking to my car and felt the sun shine down. I swear to you, I heard angels. It was like a warm wind, but not a wind at all. Just a gentle wash of warmth. Fantastic. On the downside, considering it is September, this is signifying that winter, my nemesis, is on its way. Still, going to enjoy this climate while its still enjoyable.

3. Go watch "Warrior". As expected, I loved it. Then again, I watch UFC fights and buy into dramatic movie characters. What wasn't nearly as expected was the girlfriend enjoying it. It was a later showing, and she's not shy about dozing off during a movie. She was on edge for the better part of the movie. The characters are all very well developed and it's almost impossible to avoid getting wrapped up in the dynamic relationships between the characters. You find yourself at times rooting for and against each of the three main characters, and none of it feels contrived. Just a solid movie from start to finish. It does have a fighting element, but it doesn't get deep enough into it to throw off those unfamiliar to the octagon (in the movie's case, a hexagon because UFC has trademarked the eight-sided ring). It's most certainly worth your $8.50.

4. Ribs are really good. I forget this from time to time, because in a steakhouse I almost always go for the steak. I mean, it's called a steakhouse and I hope there is a valid reason for that moniker. If there was a ribhouse, I feel I would have to order the ribs over the steak, but I'm yet to find out, and the closest alternative is a place called RibCity, where I had the pulled pork lunch plate. Anyway, went up to Park City and had the ribs (St. Louis spareribs. Baby back ribs annoy me with the low meat to bone ratio. Too much work, not enough payout) at Bandit Grill. Absolutely delicious. Only downside is that they didn't have a half-rack option. Thankfully, they do offer take home boxes and I've had ribs for dinner for the past three nights now. Odds are, tonight will make it four. In case you were wondering, they are fantastic. Just moved up a notch in my book.

5. Fall TV schedule is kicking off. Ask me if I checked the DVR to see if there was enough space to handle my course load of shows. Thankfully, there is plenty, and if needs be, I'll just hook up a hard drive to the thing and never worry about it. I mean, I watch a fair amount of shows. House, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Fringe, TUF, Jersey Shore, Top Shot, One Tree Hill, and those are just the ones I can name without pausing. Yes, it sounds like a lot, but it averages to like an hour a day. And other than an occasional Storage Wars or Pawn Stars (History Channel owns me) and, of course, sports, I don't watch a lot of TV. Thanks to the DVR and online streaming, I'm able to keep up with all of these. I know, it's impressive.

6. I miss the second TV. Watching college football is fantastic, but it was better when I had two games going at once. Now with one, I'm having to flip back and forth, and I always feel like I'm missing something. The better part of the week will be spent on figuring out how to make the picture-in-picture work on the TV. I know it's not the same, but it will have to do.

Word.

If You Wanna Go And Take A Ride Wit Me

As the White Sox play out the rest of the string, and the Diamondbacks lock up the NL West, I feel it's appropriate to discuss my past doings with all of you.

For reasons I'm still not 100% sure of, work got extremely busy from August 18th, until about Tuesday (Sep 6). Like, 3 to 4 fold more busy than the average day. Most people would get upset if their work days suddenly felt like three crammed into one, however, since my job is mostly commission based, I was more pleased than an Arkansan in a "Everything Made of Buffalo Bone" shop. (Let's not kid ourselves. Who wouldn't be ecstatic in that shop?) The downside is that it didn't leave a lot of time to slap something up here. For that, I make no apologies. I had to choose to between making money, and informing the two people (Ok, mostly just my sister, a couple times a day) that read this about my activities. When typing this out leads to cashing checks, maybe I'll shift my focus. Do not hold your breath, as I know I don't have the time to commit to such an endeavor, and I question whether I have the literary chops to develop something that interesting. How many sites do you visit on a daily basis? How many of them are so you can read something? I have about 5. Couple blogs, ESPN, MSN and Grantland. I'm sure there is someway I could have a notification inform me of a new post, instead of having to check on the daily, but I like checking things, and they are kind enough to link blogs to other friends so that I don't have to type in all of the other addresses. For that, I say thank you.

The other things that have kept me busy are some road trips. The weekend before labor day, I went down to St. George with a couple buddies and the girlfriend. We had a blast, played some golf and hiked the Narrows in Zion's. I should note that the girlfriend was the only girl there. Yes, she did come golfing with us. She became very good at driving the cart, as well as smiling and telling me that "Oh, it looked like a really good hit" when I would knock the ball into the trees/water/highway. She's kind like that. She's also forgiving because on the golf course, well, you tend to relax a little bit. Which can get awkward, given that when you relax on a golf course it is usually with a bunch of guys. I feel/hope this is universal, but same gender comments and conversation are different than mixed gender ones. In those potentially awkward moment, she would either feign having not heard it, or she would just smile and shake her head a little. We'd all laugh, except for whomever made the comment that time, and then keep on playing.

(This is the one photo taken during this entire weekend, just before we started the hike in Zion's. I'll let you figure out who is the girlfriend.)

The hike was terrific. It isn't a steep hike, but it is long, and you spend the entire time in a knee-deep stream. It took me a little while figuring out how to secure my footing on the submerged, rocky terrain, but after that you just keep going. The cool water keeps you from feeling too hot at any given point, so you never feel like it's a chore. However, once it's over and you're sitting on the tram back to the parking lot, you realize just how much work you put in. Either way, I highly recommend it, and if you have the time, stop by the Bistro (that's its name) in Hurricane on the way out. Delicious food there. They seemed to be seasonal, so they probably shut it down in the winter, which is when the national parks in that area shut down as well.

So I came home from that great weekend, put in my week of work, kaplan, and softball, and then this past Labor Day weekend, I went up to Idaho Falls. I've made two trips to Idaho, and one trip through it. This was the first time that I was not having to wear multiple layers or question whether I should put tiger balm on my toes to remind me they still exist. It was a little brisk, but nothing a pair of jeans and hoodie couldn't fix.

The girlfriend needed to go up there because her dad had just accepted a position in New York, and would be moving there for the next 5+years. By the time this posts, he'll already be there. She asked if I wanted to go. Another chance to take a pseudo vacation outside of Utah County? Yep. I'm going to do that.

We left Friday right after I got out of work. I didn't stop to eat before leaving, so by 8pm, I was hungry something fierce. Thankfully, we were entering the bustling metropolis that is... Malad. I'm pretty sure that Malad is in Idaho, but it might still be Utah. It was near the border, and the girlfriend let me know that it was the last quasi-town until Pocatello, another hour or so down the road. Pulled into some diner and had the biggest fried pork sandwich I've ever seen. It was too big for me to pick up, and I vastly preferred my food picked up as opposed to forked and knifed. (And yes, it is knifed, not knived. I had to look it up because it looked weird.) On the upside, it was really good with some gravy and mashed potatoes.

Got into Idaho Falls, stepped outside, and was really glad I had a hoodie in the car. The days never got cold, but the mornings and evenings were a different story. We made it to the girlfriend's mom's house around 10 pm, and ran outside to lay on their trampoline and look at all the stars. (bee-tee-dub, there are a bajillion stars up there that you forget about until you find yourself in some remote place and are able to pause and just look up. It is truly amazing.) She brought a blanket, but that wasn't good enough. I was literally shaking for a couple minutes as natural survival instincts kicked in and my body realized it needed to generate more heat to keep core temperatures within reasonable ranges. The next night we went to a drive in movie. Yes they still exist. Rumor is that there are only about 20 or drive ins still operating in the United States. Idaho Falls has two of them. The point of the matter is that this time, we brought three blankets. One was a denim blanket made from swatches cut out of jeans. I did not know this was common practice. It is. This thing was fantastically warm. We had a lovesac in the back of her sister's truck and with three blankets, we stayed warm while being visually assaulted by "Smurfs" followed by "Zookeeper". For the sake of all things good and holy, avoid both of these. Run, do not walk away from them. Slap anyone over the age of 8 who suggests either of them. If you see a fire, try and put it out by tossing every copy of them onto it. Either the pile with smother the flames, or the flames will consume the pile. Win-win.

The rest of the trip was highlighted by her grandfather's 92nd birthday, as well as a number of visits to/with her relatives. We spent most of the time with her sister and brother-in-law. Aside from letting us borrow said truck/lovesac/blankets, they invited us over a number of times to play with their kids and talk after the young'ns had retired. Great folks there. Couldn't thank them enough for their kindness and sincerity.

Oh, and we watched the BYU game with her dad and his wife. Tough game to watch, but thankfully the Cougs pulled off the victory. Should be an interesting matchup against Texas this weekend.

Came home Monday afternoon so I could have some time to prep for the Kaplan class I had Tuesday night. It was a great trip, and got to see a little more of the girlfriend's family. Great people up there.

Word.

Cheap Shades And A Tattoo And A Yoo-Hoo Bottle On The Floorboard

Well, if it's been a whole month between posts, you have to assume things got really busy for me. I mean, there were times I put new posts up during finals. Lucky for you, this morning is kind of slow, and I'm already square for my Kaplan class tonight, so I've found a little window of time to bang out a post.

Things have been going well my friends. Things have been going well. I have a lot of reasons for this, so it's time to just enumerate them and let you in on what has been icing my cakes recently.

1.) Mint.com. Can not fully express my love for this website. I've always been the type of person who lives within their means, but that typically meant spending nearly everything I made. This little beauty pulls all my accounts (banking, credit cards, paypal, loans, everything) into one spot and lets me know, "Hey, you're averaging this much income a month, and spending roughly this much on fast food, restaurants, golf, etc." From this, I've been able to structure things to start: A) Paying down my student loans, B ) Developing a legit plan for a savings account, C) Realizing where I can actually cut costs (started buying golf balls off eBay by the 100 pack, saving me roughly $0.60 a ball over new ones from the store. Aah, the advantages of not being great is that you don't really lose a lot of performance between using new balls vs used balls), D) Discovering what credit card might provide me with the best rewards package, given my spending habits. It's fantastic, free, and has a slick iPhone app. The app gives you a quick dashboard, lets you know of any alerts, and shows you any purchases or transfers you have made. For all of your accounts. Up until recently, I was using three different banks for all of my checking and savings accounts. I can not over emphasize how fantastic it was to see all of my accounts at once in one place. The only down side (and this is for protection) is that you're not able to make any transfers within Mint. It's just there to report and project, not to move and manipulate. So when I do have to make my monthly transfer to savings, or bill for rent, I have to go the bank directly, but that's not a big deal, and I appreciate the security. If someone hacks into my Mint account, they can see my balances, but they can't change them. Love this site, and at the low cost of free, can not love it more.

2.) Kaplan - Not the prepping part. That part is killing my Sunday and Monday nights. But now that I'm actually teaching a GMAT course, I'm getting paid at the teaching rate. And for whatever reason, it seems like they mail out their checks every Friday. I'm not complaining, because that means I'm getting a little extra kizzle (yep, sure did co-opt that from Courtney Gorden) seemingly every week. I do like extra money. It's not a lot, and probably wouldn't be enough to cover my basic living expenses, but when you only spend about 12 hours a week on it, you really can't expect it to. What you can expect is some pocket change to make life a little more enjoyable. I needed some new shorts and a pair of shoes. Thank you Kaplan for making those happen.

3.) The return of Jersey Shore. Oh man, is this show 100% pathetic, entertaining garbage. I love it. I really do. A lot of people have asked me why, and here's the current answer: Growing up, I never drank, and neither did any of the people I hung out with. They weren't members, but somehow I found a group of friends in high school that didn't drink. Needless to say, I never knew what people were like when they were drinking, so I tended to over-estimate how much their senses and judgment were impaired. Looking back at it, my projections of inebriated individuals matches up almost exactly with how the Jersey Shore-ites behave without alcohol. Only difference is that the Jersey Shore people stumble less. Let me re-phrase that - they stumble less sober than I would have imagined. Intoxicated they are like a toddler who just spent 5 minutes spinning with a bucket on his head. (Please do not ask how I know what this looks like.) So, yes, this show does thoroughly entertain me. However, the whole re-locating to Italy move is yet to add any real benefit yet. I'm hopeful, but not overly so.

4.) Playoff races. Diamondbacks up by 2.5 games. White Sox back by 3.5 games. It's getting

serious with only 40 or so games left. The dream is to have both of them make the playoffs, and possibly the World Series, but that's a dream.

5.) College football just over 2 weeks away. I love Baseball, in case any of you didn't know. I love it to the point that I get upset when they spend time talking about off-season NFL or NBA practices or scrimmages instead of more time on baseball. It infuriates me that NFL Live is year round while Baseball tonight is not, despite Baseball having a longer season. However, when they start talking about college football, I don't really mind as much. I plan on taking in at least two BYU games, and possibly more this season. And by take in, I mean watch in person. I plan on watching all of them, but most of them via television. Really makes me wish they still had UNLV on the schedule. A Vegas trip around a Cougars football game? Now that's ideal.

6.) Yoo-Hoo. I was talking with this really cute girl about camp outs and what was normally brought along for food. So of course, I mentioned ho-hos, hot dogs, swiss cake rolls, baked beans, and Yoo-Hoo. She nodded along until I got to the last one and then asked what it was. It wasn't that she never had it, but that she didn't know exactly what is was. Maybe this is a badge of honor for her parents, never having introduced her to the 0 nutritional value beverage that is Yoo-Hoo, but I was stunned. Of course, had to go find some. Compounding this issue was the fact that none the three nearest gas stations carried it in any form, bottle, can or even juice box. Now, maybe my memory is over compensating, but I'm willing to bet every gas station in Brevard County currently has at least one bottle of Yoo-Hoo in it's fridge. Next time you actually walk into the gas station, please check on this for me. I want to see if Yoo-Hoo is a local thing, or just absent in this locality. Either way, this led me to go to Walmart and buy a 12 pack of cans (I know, it's not as good as it is from the glass bottle, but it was that or the juice boxes, and juice boxes are so tiny) and introduce her to the goodness that is Yoo-Hoo. She was a good sport and drank a can, even though I could tell she would never ask for another. In her words, "It's like hot chocolate, but cold". In my words, "It's like awesome, but more awesome." I then drank the other 11 over the space of four days.

Word.

One Is One Too Many, One More Is Never Enough

Between attending the All-Star game on Tuesday, having Mike remind me of the video game number Barry Bonds put up between 2001 and 2004, and reading an article on Grantland.com, I got to thinking about the history of baseball. For me that includes grainy photos and videos of the all-time greats, as well as memories of traipsing through the halls of Cooperstown. But eventually, I wind up thinking about the great records that may or may not ever be broken. And I thought to myself, what record is never going to be broken? The obvious answer is Cy Young's career pitching W-L line. 511-316. I'm in the camp of "We might never see another 300 game winner ever again", so to think that someone would win 500 games, or lose 300 games, is so absurd, it's not even going to make this list.

I forget where the line is drawn separating the Modern Era of Baseball from the Pre-Modern Era, and I don't want to look it up right now, so I'm going to say 1941 starts the modern era. It was kind of a banner year. Ted Williams hit .406 and DiMaggio had his 56-game streak. (Guess who won the MVP that year? Joe D did. This, despite the fact that Williams led the league in Average, Slugging, On base, Home runs, runs, and walks [147 walks in 143 games]. New York bias.)

Seems like a good place in the sand to draw the line. I wanted to compile a list of the records established in the Modern Era that will never get broken, in order of most likely to be broken to least likely to ever be broken. (Side note: I started writing this on 7/14. On 7/15, ESPN ran a poll asking which record was least likely to get broken, since 1941. So, I guess I picked the right year.)

This will be one of the first, if not the first, posts that I will have to do the writing in parts, as I likely won't find all the ones worth listing in the first perusal, nor do I know them all off the top of my head. I know a lot of them that I don't think will ever get broken (Nolan Ryan's single season strikeout record, Ripken's consecutive game streak [Current active leader: Matt Kemp with 298. Not kidding.], and Barry Bond's intentional walks in a season are the most prominent ones), but some I'll have to research. I don't know how many bases Rickey Henderson stole in his prime, or how many wins Jamie Moyer garnered without ever throwing harder than 85.

In this case though, I don't mind the research. So, bear with me on this one. I'm only putting up 8. Why 8? Because I can't think of a ninth worth talking about.

8.) DiMaggio's 56 game hit streak. This one is going to be tough, but I feel that this is the classic monkeys with typewriters producing Shakespeare puzzle. Given that this one is about 70% skill and 30% luck, I'm fairly certain I'll see this one matched in my life time. And out of all the records listed, this is the one I want to have challenged. Nothing against The Yankee Clipper, but a 56 game hit streak would rivet the nation. People would start talking about baseball around work when they never had before. Your mothers and grandmothers would know about it. If you think I'm kidding, remember when McGwire and Sosa were chasing Roger Maris? Everyone was talking about it. Now, imagine that happening for a solid month? Everyday people asking the same question: Did he get a hit? For the record, I support any and all activities that get more people talking about baseball in a positive light.

7.) Nolan Ryan's single season strikeouts - 383. This one isn't as unbreakable as I first thought. Case in point, Randy Johnson had 372 in 2001. And he pitched 100 less innings, facing about 400 less hitters (The Big Unit was striking out people out more often then 1 out of every three he faced). But the reason why this is still on the list is because if Randy Johnson in his prime couldn't do it, who could? Everything is against pitchers today from breaking this record. The five man rotation, innings counts, bullpen specialization and utilization, PED's and the nutritional advances created in their wake. And here's the one I would like to mention - more pitchers throwing harder. This is counter-intuitive, but it makes sense. When Ryan was pitching, he was probably the only guy in the league rushing it up there at 100+. The most dangerous weapon in any pitcher's arsenal is the ability to change speeds and keep hitters off balance. Hitter back then were used to seeing fastballs in the upper 80s to low 90s. That's more or less what everyone could throw. So they develop a rhythm for that speed. Then, one day a week, Ryan takes the mound and is throwing 10 mph harder than what you're expecting. That's huge. It's would be akin to the first time someone developed a curve ball.

In today's game, every team has a starter that can touch mid to high 90s. They all don't have a Verlander who touches 99 in the 9th inning of a no-hitter, but they do have guys that are still throwing 95 in the 7th inning of a close game. There isn't a gap anymore. It's still hard to hit that speed, but you get a lot more practice when it's always that speed. No one is surprised by 99 mph anymore. in 1973, that was surprising. And that's why this one makes the list.

6.) Rickey Henderson's single season steals record - 130. Last year the league leader had 68. Who was that leader? Juan Pierre. Speed is still highly valued in baseball, just not on the basepaths. Rickey can thank Sabermetrics for all but assuring his record remains unassailed for years to come. The numbers tell us that steals are rarely worth the risk. There are a number of old school managers out there that still believe strongly in the advantages of getting the extra base, but they are few and far between, and will get roundly criticized when they run their team out of an inning.

5.) Barry Bonds walks and intentional walks in a season - 232 and 120. The second highest totals are both of those categories, by guys not named 'Bonds', are 60 less than his marks. He also holds the second and third highest single season totals, in both categories. These marks were record in his ridiculous season of 2004. He had an OPS of 1.422 and was hitting a home run every ninth at bat. But we're talking his walks here, and he got them by the boat load. During a weekend series against the Dodgers, he was walked 7 consecutive times. Twice he was walked all four times he came to plate, all four times intentionally. He was walked intentionally when the bases were loaded. Teams were more than willing to concede one run, than throw something in the strike zone. If you ever want to look at a dominating stat line for a hitter, his 2004 is hard to beat. It's only parallel is Bonds' own 2001 season, when he hit 73 jacks (or one per 6.5 at bats) and lead the league in BA, OBP, and Slugging. How he didn't get RBI's and take the triple crown, I'll never know. But for a four year stretch, he was simply over-sized head and shoulders above the league. Could you imagine if he still has the speed of his younger days when he was stealing 40 bases and was a Gold Glove left fielder? I just got goosebumps.

4.) Kerry Wood and Roger Clemens 9-inning game strikeouts - 20. You have to qualify the statement with "9-inning" otherwise the record goes to Tom Cheney who struck out 21 over 16 innings back in 1962. I didn't have a clue either. We've all grown. Here's why this one might not ever be broken. Last year, the Seattle Mariners were the worst hitting club ever assembled in the past 35 years. That's not hyperbole, it's statistical fact. And not even they were victims of a 20 strikeout or more game. If you want to make this record stand out even more, it means that if you don't have 6 strikeouts by the end of the fourth inning, you're not going to make it. You almost need to have some errors in the field so that the only outs come by way of strikeout. In fact, that was the only way I was able to get more than 20 in a video game. I had to actively move my fielders away from pop-ups, and have them not throw the ball on grounders. But that's a video game, and I also hit over 250 homers in a season.

3.) Atlanta Braves Consecutive Division titles - 14. I do need to put a small asterisk, as this was over a 15 year stretch, but since division titles were not awarded in the strike shortened season of 1994, we can omit that year altogether. 1991-2005, the Braves were the champs of their division. Every. Single. Year. The first three were in the bigger NL West, before realignment created three divisions in each league, and slotted the Braves in the NL East. Nothing mattered, they dominated, year in and year out. Behind ace pitching (between Smoltz, Glavine and Maddux, the Braves were awarded 6 Cy Young awards in this span), and surprising hitting, they just kept winning. They did get lucky a couple years, and did catch some breaks, but more often then not, they simply were better than the other teams in their division, and took care of their business.

What's hard to believe is how recent this was set. We have had 9 different World Series Champions in the last ten years. 14 different teams have reached the World Series in that time span. Needless to say, there is a substantial amount of parity in today's game. And yet, just 6 years ago, the Braves were half way through the last year of their dynasty. During the 90's, they represented the NL in 5 of the 9 World Series. You have to go back to the 50's Yankees of DiMaggio and Mantle to find any team that showed up to more than 50% of the decade's World Series (8 of 10), with only other team being Babe Ruth's Yankees of the 20's (6 of 10). It's just so difficult to imagine one team being on top of their division for so long. No team has even a five year streak going. Come to think of it, I don't think there's a team with more than 3 right now. So to have a streak lasting 15 years, my goodness.

2.) Bob Gibson's single season ERA - 1.12. This one has to be on the list because of when it was set, but it shouldn't be on the list for that same reason. The mound was higher, stadiums were bigger, and the ball wasn't wound nearly as tight as it is now. All of these things, coupled with Gibson being, frankly, awesome, combined to give us this ridiculous stat line. To give you a perspective, a really good pitcher will throw about 225 innings a year, give or take a dozen. That's about 32 starts going 7 innings per start on average. To beat Gibson's mark, he would only be able to allow 28 earned runs. Less than one per start. Pitchers have beaten that mark over a month or two, but all it takes is one bad start, and you're done. You give up six runs in a game, and forget about it. And in today's game, chances are you're going to give up six runs in one of those 32 starts.

1.) Cal Ripken Jr's consecutive games played streak - 2632. I don't know how high to put this one. Mostly, I don't know if I can put anything above it. It combines two elements that in today's game are contradictory: being really good, and being consistently healthy. You can't have one without the other. Case in point, look at the number of players who were absent for the All-Star game, despite being named to the team. They all took the game off to nurse some injuries. If you're going to be good enough to make the lineup, you have to play hard. And if you play hard, you're going to get hurt. There's no two ways about it. So, the odds that another player is going to come along and string together 16+ seasons of above average production, without missing a game, especially in this era where players are more likely to rest minor injuries than not, are minuscule. I don't have a lot of money, but I would bet all of it that this record will not fall. Certainly not in my life time. Unless they allow robots to play. Then all bets are off.

Word.

There's A Party On The Rooftop Top Of The World

Here they are, the 6 coolest things I've done this month:

1) Bought, sold and bought tickets to the MLB All-Star game. Yes, you read that correctly. The All-Star game is down in Phoenix this year. (Side note, I never spell Phoenix right on the first try. I always wait for the red squiggly line to tell me "Hey, numbskull, switch the o and the e. You should know this. You temporarily lived just down the road.") So, a bunch of buddies and I started looking into getting tickets for it. They were going for a minimum of $200 a piece on the secondary market. Then I looked into how much they were face value and noticed there was a large gap between the two. The only catch was you had to be a season ticket holder to get the face value prices.

Did I become a season ticket holder? Yes, yes I did. A half-season ticket holder to be specific. The numbers told me that if I sold out the rest of the season at 80% of the current market prices for the section I was looking out, I could go to the All-Star game for only about $150 a ticket, and sit in the lower bowl. However, I also saw that the tickets in my section for the All-star game were going at 2x face value. So I listed them. Taking out fees and what-not, if they sold, I would turn about $300 profit. I like $300 profit.

I told my dad about this, who told me that he would like to go to the game. I let him know that I listed my tickets and if they sold for 2x what I paid, I'm going to take it and figure out what to do later. My dad, the businessman, said, "Of course you would. $300 profit is great." So that's what happened. Thing is, my dad already booked us airfare to go down for the game. And the tickets sold. So now I have $300 profit, plus my original costs, but no tickets. Not to worry.

I first went to the Diamondbacks directly to see if there was a chance I could get another pair at face value. Not surprisingly, they're sold out, so it was back to the secondary market. I reviewed some prices and realized that there were a set of four that were undervalued by about $100 at the minimum. I know this because they are in the section next to the one I used to hold tickets for, and were listed at $100 less than what mine sold. I only needed 2 to get in to the game, but I figured, "Why not buy all four and capitalize that $100 or so arbitrage?"

So I did. And now I've got two tickets in hand, and have re-listed the other two at the appropriate pricing. That's meals and a souvenir from the trip right there.

Hence, I bought, sold and bought (and hoping to sell) tickets to the All-Star game.

2) Became published. It's not as glamorous as you might think, but I found a way to get my entire blog, comments and all, printed, bound and shipped for under $5. Under $4 if you want to get technical. It took some wizardry and a couple different websites, but now I have this entire blog from the first post in January 2008, to the one right before this one in June 2011 in paperback form. It's 152 pages of awesomeness sitting on my living room table. Be jealous.

3) Shot a video where I danced like Napoleon Dynamite while wearing a Darth Vader mask. I guess I should have started that with a spoiler alert, but oh well. Same buddies I talked about going down to the All-Star game with decided to spoof a number of movie scenes with Star Wars characters. They're the ones that made "Primeday", the "Friday" spoof. If you haven't seen it on youtube, I would recommend. Pro-tip, the director's wife sung the lyrics on it. She's operatically trained, so she actually had to step-down her vocal talents a couple notches to get it as eerily similar as it is.

I'm still not sure how I got nominated to do this, given I physically look nothing like him. He's like 6'3" 160 pounds of flesh and bone. I'm 5'10" and about 180 pounds with occasional muscles lying under my skin (At one point they said to me "You need to look a little more defeated. You're a bit too built so try and look weaker." I already had the mask on, or they would have seen me blush and giggle). Either way, they asked me to do it. Let me tell you this: the choreography makes no sense. You watch it and it looks interesting. Then you try and mimic it, and you notice 2 things. First, no way he did this all in one shot. A couple times he magically transports across the stage. Second, no way someone actually defined the necessary steps for this routine. Not possible. Both of these are troubles for me, because I like to be exact. Needless to say, do not be expecting a mirror image of the actual dance. It didn't happen. I got the main, memorable moves, but the transitions and fillers are nothing like the originals. I have no clue when this will hit the internet, or if it will. I hope they'll let me know, and then I'll post the link here.

4) Won $70 at a golf course. Yep. Sure did. Last Saturday, Mike, his dad, and his brother joined me for a round at Sleepy Ridge. For those of you wondering, yes, I do live on the course, and yes, I did drive over to the clubhouse. I did, however, walk the round.

Back to the main point. They had a game on the 4th hole, a par 3. Wager up to $100. If you hit the green, you win even money. If you miss it, you get a gift certificate to the pro shop of the amount of your initial wager. I knew that the 10-round pass was $140, so I wagered $70 and drilled a 7-iron 165 yards onto the front of the green. Thank you very much for the 50% discount off my pass. Two-putted to make par. I should mention that this came on the heels of a chip in from the fringe for a birdie on the 3rd hole. Anytime I can write down consecutive 3's on my scorecard, things are going well for me. And anytime I can save $70, things are going really well for me.

5) Getting a free back pack. Ok, this one hasn't happened yet, but the gears have been put in motion. For about a month, I had noticed that some of my shirts were getting these red stains on their shoulders. At first I thought it was these dryer balls that I tried. So I threw them out, but was shocked to see the problem recurring. After that, I wasn't sure what the problem was. Then, one day I was walking back from the gym and had my hands under my shoulder straps. I felt something sticky. Turns out that the red plastic that they had used to create a cushion has degraded and melted through the strap cloth and onto about 8 of my dress shirts.

Now, I've had this backpack for at least 7 years now. Maybe longer. Not real sure. Either way, I sent an email to JanSport letting them know that their product has an issue that might need to get looked into. The next morning they sent me an email saying they would be happy to replace the backpack, as well as re-imburse for the damaged shirts. I dug up receipts from three years ago, put everything together, and shipped it all off on Saturday. Needless to say, that company has impressed me. If you're in the market for a backpack, please go with JanSport. They'll treat you right and replace your backpack even if breaks down a decade or so after the purchase.

6) Wrote this blog post.

Word.

Cause I Got A Peaceful Easy Feeling, And I Know You Won't Let Me Down

I was reading an article on ESPN earlier today, and it centered on Ichiro. The author talked about how rooting for a Japanese player, even though he was Korean, helped him feel more assimilated into American culture thanks to the unifying thread of baseball. Well, he didn't say he felt more assimilated because he rejected the term altogether, but the article was about whether he was or wasn't, and whether he could be or couldn't.

Midway through the article, he mentioned the famous laser beam. On a groundball through the right side of the infield, Terrence Long tried to go first to third. This happens all the time, and Long was on the faster side of the speed continuum. This rookie from Japan, who had his first name on the back of his jersey (When your first name is "Ichiro", you can get away with stuff like that. As for Kurt Suzuki, he gets "Suzuki" across the shoulders), fields it cleanly and fires the purest throw you might ever see.

Oh. You say you've never seen it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUD7XRpTpGw

Now you have.

There are a handful of sports clips I can watch over and over again, and each time just sit there grinning like an idiot and half-chuckling because it is so amazing. This one is high on that list. I can not overstate how amazing that throw is. I wish the picture on the internet was clearer, because I remember watching this on Sportscenter for about a week straight, and that crystal clear image is the same one my mind super-imposes on this one. In fact, in my mind, the ball becomes this yellow comet that starts about 14 feet off the ground, and finishes about 4, despite traveling roughly 200 feet laterally.

In my rec-league softball games, people get impressed when I throw from the left side hole to first on a line. That video makes my feat seem childish. For that matter, that video makes me feel child-like. I just giggle at it thinking, "My goodness. How is that even possible?" I know that it is, but I just can't believe it.

It's like watching the Pujols home run off Brad Lidge (http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/ps/y2005/video.jsp?view=hou_stl, Scroll towards the bottom and you'll find the link for it. If I post the link straight, it doesn't turn out well.) from the 2005 NLCS. I can tell you exactly where I was when that happened. I can tell you who was in the room, what furniture was there, where I stood (definitely wasn't sitting for this) and where the others were standing in respect to me. I could probably even tell you the approximate number of inches each of us had our mouths open, grinning as we watched that ball rise and rise and rise. For the record, I still don't believe it has landed. Just like I believe that if the third baseman hadn't caught Ichiro's throw, it would have sailed over the wall and four rows deep into the stands, another 60-70 feet beyond.

These are the giggly moments. The ones where you forget you're an adult and that there are things like rent, or bills, or payments to be made. Where you let go of the sensibility that says, "Grown men don't giggle, or stare slack-jawed at a video they've seen a dozen+ times". Where you close your eyes, and could swear you went back in time to those moments.

Those are the two that always come to mind first for me. There are others, such as "The Jeter Flip" and "Ken Griffey Jr's Home Run Swing", but those two are the most impressive. Take a couple minutes, enjoy the clips, and feel a little younger again.

Word.

I'll Gladly Take Her Place If You'll Let Me, Make This My Last Request

I have this thing. You see, I like new technology. I really like it. However, I temper this with an unwilling desire to pay a high premium for something, simply because it's new. This is because I'm really not a materialistic guy. I have an iPhone sure. But it's the 3gs, and I just got it this week. I have a Mac laptop. But it's from 2007 I believe, and I got it about two months ago. It might be older than that, I'm not sure, and don't really care to check.

That's what I do. I wait until the newest model comes out, and then I buy the preceding model. Besides avoiding the high mark-up, I usually get it after all the bugs have been worked out. I didn't switch from Windows 3.1 to Win95 until Win98 came out and it was preloaded on everything. 3/1 was working fine for me. Saw no need to upgrade when all my programs were running just fine. In some ways, I miss that system because you could still easily go into DOS and edit files that way. There was no such thing as a hidden file or folder. Just something that you needed to know the right DOS command for. And I knew them.

This isn't the main point of this post, but it does lay some groundwork. I generally don't fret over the handful of possessions I have. None of the furniture is my room was purchased by me, or constructed in the past 2 years. I have a row of books, but all of them were purchased second hand for no more than $4 a piece. They could all disappear tomorrow, and mostly, I would wonder if whoever took them enjoyed reading them. There is, however, one possession that I do care for. In fact, I care a lot about it.

That's my car. I love my car. I say that without regard or hesitation. I don't tell her this often enough, but I hope I tell it to her enough that she never doubts my adoration. If there was a draft where I had to give up possessions one by one, The first thing I would give up would be the BYU baseball cup I got attending a game earlier this season. Then, the plastic bowl I use to hold my watches. Somewhere down the list you'd find my TV, and my clothes, and my computer, and my phone. At the very bottom of the list, you'd find my car. (I went back and forth between this and scriptures, but I went with the car because I could then drive it to some missionary apartment and ask for a free copy of the Book of Mormon, and possibly the Bible. They would have to throw it through the window because my clothes were higher up on the list, but still, I could easily get a new set of scriptures.)

Yesterday, I was coming back to my car from a delicious Winger's lunch. And I saw the most horrible thing I've seen in a while. Turns out, someone decided to scrape their car along the back fender of my car. I felt like I had been beaten with a mace. This was my baby, and she had been wounded. I can't be for certain, but I swear, I heard it whimper a little bit. I raced over to it, examining the extent of the damage, and told her things were going to be ok. I was here now, and this would get fixed. Looked around for a note from the offender, and found nothing. Cowards. Drove her back to work gingerly. Figured she had a rough enough day as is, didn't want to give her any other strains. My co-worker comes in and says "Hey, what happened to your car?" "I don't want to talk about it. It gets me too upset."

After work, I took her into the clinic known as O'Reilly's auto parts. Had the clinician take a look, and told me the bad news. Most of it would be able to be buffed out, considered most of it was plastic transferred on to her. Some parts though, some scratched into the paint and those could not be buffed out. It hurts to hear that your baby is likely going to carry a scar. I picked up the healing balm, and took her home. There, I lovingly worked the balm into her wound, trying my best to clear all the foreign debris. After about 45 minutes, I had an appointment I couldn't miss (I do loves me some softball), but after that, I came back home and did my best to fix what was left. Now, she still has some spots left that need a little touch up, but she's almost back to her good old self.

The moral of this story: I love my car. I really love her.

Word.

I Guess I'm Not As Strong As I Used To Be

Yeah, that last post was kind of a cop-out. Can we just let that slide? You expect more from me, and I expect more from me. So, to make it up to you, the half-dozen or so consistent readers hailing from all over the country, I decided to give you a little extra this week. Maybe I'm getting softer in my old age. Maybe I'm actually enjoying doing this after about 3.5 years or so. Maybe I like the warmth of a laptop on my lap while I'm watching a movie. I don't know. Odds are, it's all of them combined. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this, because I slammed it all out in the space of about 20 minutes and I'm going with it.

First thing I'd like to bring up: I hate my phone. When I got back from St. Maarten, one of the first things I needed to do was get a new cell phone (side note: I kind of miss not having a cell phone. Make no mistake, my phone lies unbothered for well over 85% of the day, so it's not that I'm getting overwhelmed by call or text volume. It's the exact opposite reason why I miss not having a cell phone. I miss not having to look at the phone, and realize there are no calls or texts. Cue the cheesy rift of "Lowered Expectations"). Turns out, they're kind of critical in today's society. If you don't believe me, go on a cruise and see how much different your life is for that week. Anyway, I did a little research, and decided to go with the Palm Pre Plus. Yep. Palm is A ) still around and B ) makes cell phones. I had read the reviews and realized that it was a nice balance of what I wanted: A slide, not flip, phone; tactile buttons; camera; and email. Additionally, it would only cost me about $50. The iPhone 4 was a possibility, but a possibility that had a $100-200 tag on it (I can't remember how much, but it was noticeably more than the Palm Pre). I saw a couple blackberry options, but honestly, I didn't like the idea of a blackberry. It seemed like too much machine for me. I like things simple. Above all, I like things simple.

I spend the better parts of my day thinking of complex scenarios and situations. Needlessly mind you, but that's what I do. I look around the room and think about things like "What if there was a fire and that exit is blocked?" Or "Is there a better way to lay out the furniture?" Or "Is it worth it to try and invest the little savings I have in a business venture, or just to let it slowly grow by interest?" And those are just the not sports or girls related ones. I'd share those, but really, they'd either bore, impress, confuse or upset you. Three of those I try to avoid. 25% chance? Not worth the risk.

Back to the phone. So I've had this one for about 5 months now. And I hate it. I'm already on a replacement because the power button, which is practically the only mechanical button outside the keyboard, stopped working. Kind of an important button. Additionally, about a month back it stopped receiving picture messages. An hour or so with customer services, and it worked again. Last week, back to not being able to receive pictures. Worst of all, the ability to search the internet is spotty, and that's kind. If I'm moving at all, forget about it. It's a step above having to be in wi-fi area, and that's it. Smart phone my tuckus.

Went to the ATT store because they have that fantastic promo to get the iPhone 3gs for just $50. I was hoping I could renew my agreement, pay the $50, turn in the crap phone I have and then be done with it. I realize that my phone bill would likely increase on the monthly basis, but for the added features, not to mention the fact that it works nearly all the time, worth it. Unfortunately, they won't let me sign into a new agreement until August. Of 2012. Great. I understand exactly why. Heck, I go over this same issue on a daily basis with the people I talk to at my job. No harm, no foul. Then the guy tells me that I could buy the phone off of KSL. When people in Utah say KSL, I instantly translate that into eBay. Not that I don't check KSL classifieds, but I check eBay first because, well I know it, and I trust it. Turns out, even a used iPhone 3gs with 8gb is going to run me about $200. Even if I sell my Palm Pre over the same medium, the net cost is about $100-125. And I'm still not sure what my monthly bill would move to. A lot of questions, not a lot of answers. If you have the answers, such as how much the monthly bill for an iPhone would be, that would be great.

Second thing: Been on the dating scene now for a couple months. I can tell you this: It's exactly the same as when I left it. Handful of courageous guys (some might use other adjectives, but I'll go with this one because I know the chutzpah it takes to do what they do) willing to walk up to any and every girl in the room, engage in brief but meaningful conversation, and request a phone number. Bunch of girls always in small groups of 2-4 talking amongst themselves while also noticing whom else is in the room. And the bulk of people just milling about as though there wasn't any social undercurrent trying to steer people together.

I used to be part of that first group. Believe me when I say, there is a not a scenario that I have not asked for a girl's number in. I'm not proud of them all, but I've done them all. In a class? Of course. At church? You betcha. Those are the easy ones. How about at a party where your friends are leaving and you just noticed her on your way out? Yessir. What about while at McDonalds and ordering food? Indeed. After going through a temple session? Sure did.

Now, oh man, I wait forever to ask for a girl's number. Truthfully, I like for there to be a solid reason other than "I want to ask you out", when I ask for their number. This is two-fold: 1) increase my odds of the second date (the first date is almost a given. It's the second date that is always up in the air. However, last girl I tried to ask out, definitely said no when I first asked her out. But that's certainly more than exception than the rule), 2) allows both of us to become comfortable around each other. This is more for their sake than mine. If you read this, you likely know me. If you know me, you know that I'm more or less comfortable all the time, especially in low body count situations.

I just don't have the stamina that these young bucks do, going into the fray time and again. Nor do I have the resilience of getting on the horse and bucked off on a weekly basis. Just don't got it in me anymore. Now-a-days, I pick my spots that I feel are higher percentages. Goodness knows, I'm not always right, but I play the odds. The downside is your volume goes down. Dramatically. Let me rephrase that. My volume goes down. Some guys seem to fall bass ackwards from one relationship into another, or from one girl to another (yes, there's a difference, a rather large difference). I'm not in that group.

What I'm saying is that the dating scene has not changed in the least. I have changed in the most. Not sure why, just know that I can't go back. This isn't good because I have to relearn how to maneuver. It's like I moved from shortstop to right field. Nothing against right field, but it gets far less activity, and demands less agility and resilience than playing shortstop. Still the same game, but completely different skills.

Third thing: I'm getting a Utah driver's license on Tuesday. My Florida one expires that day, and I can't renew it by mail. I figure that I won't be going to grad school in Florida, so there's no advantage to maintaining residence there. I might attend grad school in Utah, might as well get the in-state discount. Additionally, just because I have a Utah license, does not mean I have to register my car in Utah. No emissions or safety tests for me, thank you very much. I'll keep that $35 a year in my pocket.

I am sad to let the Florida license go though. It's been with me for so many thousands of miles. I'm not sure how many because the car I drove in college had a broken odomoter. I can tell you that I've driven my current car about 52,000 miles in the 3.5 years I've owned it. Oh, and it was parked in a warehouse for 1.5 of those years. I have to figure that I at least double that amount in the other car, and then added about 40k during high school. All in all, that license has seen me through about 200,000 miles. It is probably the oldest thing I still currently own. Except for my alarm clock. Had that thing since day 1 of the mission. Alas, all good things come to an end.

Fourth: I still really like tootsie rolls. I've been working on a bag this weekend. Got about 8 left. Don't ask for them. You won't get them.

Word.

I'm Turning Off A Real Live Drive And That's Right I'm Hitting Easy Street In Mud Tires

For those of you who don't know, it's more or less been raining here in Utah since I got back from Oakland. It has cost me countless softball games, golf rounds and sunny days. Not too pleased, but since I still can't control the weather, so be it.

I guess I should talk about the fact that I went to Oakland two weeks ago. They were still on my list of teams I haven't seen at their home, and the White Sox were in town that weekend, so I dragged my brother over there. Had it been any other team, no way I would have done it. Spent more time driving then actually enjoying the Bay Area. And, in case there ever is a contest for most boring interstate, my vote has to go to I-80. And I don't think it's that close. As soon as you leave Chicago, there is nothing worth seeing until you get to SLC. From there, you have absolutely nothing until Wendover (and calling Wendover something is very generous) and then even more nothingness until Reno. After Reno, you go through the mountain range, and then its a stream of cities leading up to Sacramento and then Oakland. But for the vast majority, you just want to self-medicate the trip. I kid you not, it might have been worth it to ride a train or bus, just so you wouldn't have to be awake through that nonsense.

Once there, things went well. Yes, my White Sox lost, but they played alright. Gavin Floyd was on the mound, and I knew from the first couple batters we were in for trouble. He couldn't keep the ball down at all, and you can only survive so long throwing up in the zone. They broke through for a crooked number early, and that was during the stretch where we decided to leave all of our bats in the dugout, so we could never catch back up. I wasn't happy, but it happens. No one wins them all. And right now, we're still losing more than we win. At least we're hitting the ball again, and winning more than once a week.

After the game, we realized that the San Jose Earthquakes, local MLS team, was playing that night, and that San Jose was only about an hour away from Oakland. Why not? Nothing else really going on in the Bay area, so we trekked down there and caught the game. Side note: Northern California has substantially different weather than Southern California. I had packed a pair of jeans because I knew jeans worked in all situations. What I should have packed was my snow board pants, a sweater, a jacket and a beanie. So cold. Got a hot chocolate, which helped a little, but not enough. Went to their merchandise trailer (yes trailer. The field was a college's field, and the stands looked like they were from some high school football field. It was ridiculous knowing one team played here, and another team in the same league played at Rio Tinto. Like having one twin look like Reese Witherspoon, and the other look like Rihanna after Chris Brown let the hands go on her) and asked if they had a beanie. The only thing they had close was a beanie-scarf. It's exactly what it sounds like. And I wore it. And it kept me warm. No complaints.

On the drive home, it started snowing outside of Sacramento. I'm told it snows in that region maybe once or twice a year. I guess this was that once a year. We ended up having to put chains on. Now, I've heard of this practice, and I know people have done it, but I've never even seen it happen, much less had to do it myself. Thankfully, my brother's car had chain in the trunk, and some guys were there willing to put them on for us for only $25. (Huge rip-off, but we didn't know how to do it, so we figured better safe than sorry. Trust me when I say, save your money. This ain't hard to do. I can walk you through it over the phone if you need it) We had to drive about 25 mph up the canyon for about a half an hour. All in all, added about 3 hours onto our travel time. Ridiculous. Just another reason why I don't like the snow.

Also, this trip was done so close on the heels of the cruise because I was going to start teaching an MCAT class shortly thereafter. This is the one that they assigned me after the first one was canceled because no one signed up. The first session was last Wednesday night. I show up about 20 minutes early to prep and what-not. With about 1 minute to go, two people walked in. That was it. Yesterday, I was told that the class was canceled again because only three people total had signed up. So now, I'm more or less back in a holding pattern. I do have a potential GMAT course coming up in a month or so, but who knows now. It's getting to the point where all the re-scheduling is more than the job's worth. I'm not using this job to pay rent, I'm using this job to play golf.

So yeah. This post, not too exciting of a read, but I figure two weeks was a long enough absence. I'll probably throw something up again soon. Have a BBQ tomorrow, and have to get a new Driver's License on Tuesday. Turns out, those things expire. Who knew?

Word.

You'll Be My Sunny Day, I'll Be Your Shade Tree

[Second Editor's note: Turns out, Blogger.com revamped their site for whatever reason. To do so, they need to pull every post that had been put up between Monday and Wednesday. And then they decided to take out all the pictures I put in along with the captions I listed under them. So, now I'm having to re-do them. Lovely.]

[Editor's note: This first paragraph was written chronologically after the rest of the post, and then added once I remember to write about it. Hence the second paragraphs has it's own opening and the first paragraph doesn't flow at all with the rest of the post. I'm sure you all would have been outraged had I not explained all this. You're welcome.] First, and most certainly foremost, after almost two years of searching and collecting, I have finally completed the my collection of the entire 2005 Chicago White Sox World Series Roster Signed World Series baseballs. Timo Perez was the last holdout from all the 25 guys on the roster and Ozzie Guillen. Who is Timo Perez? Glad you asked. He was our fourth outfielder for the series and recorded one at bat, never reaching base. He played his last game at the major league level in 2007, so finding his signature was tough enough, but then to get it on the 2005 World Series baseball was quite the treat. I forgot to take a picture of the completed case holding all 26 balls as well as the official WS patch, and the replica WS trophy, but just picture it in your mind. Makes you smile doesn't it. Sure makes me smile.

There are some things I just don't mess around with. I don't drink 5 hour energy because it scares me. I don't watch anything with Matthew McConnaughey because I will leave more stupid than I entered. I don't ever touch a thermostat unless I'm the only one it affects because too many arguments have started over it.

I also don't mess around with sunburns. Spent a week or so in Florida and then on a cruise through the Caribbean. Brought about a dozen friends or so, and many of them were interested in getting a tan. We'd get to the beach or head out to the pool deck and they would gingerly put on a coat of SPF 15 or 30 and go about their day. Me? SPF 90 if could please. I would have gone with the 100, but it was the sport stuff that burns your eyes for about five minutes after you put it on. I don't care if I'm whiter than a cotton ball. I want no part of skin cancer. It runs in the family and I've already logged enough sun-hours growing up in Florida. So now-a-days, when I go to the beach, I put on a healthy layer of strong sun block.

Now, some of you might be thinking "If he put on all that sun block, how did he come back a little bit darker than when he left?" Golf is the answer my friends. For whatever reason, I usually forget to put sunblock on when I tee it up. So, after spending a weekend at the beach, a week on a cruise that went from beach to beach, the only sun I really got was at the golf course after all of that. And if you think I'm kidding, know that I wear a glove on my left hand when I golf, and believe that my right hand is noticeably darker than my left. Not a coincidence.

All in all though, the cruise was great. I love them. They're a hotel that travels to different places while you sleep. Oh, and they let you eat as much as you want. They'd deliver the menu and without fail, I would get 2-3 appetizers (really enjoyed their Ceasar salad, to the point that I had it every night), 2-3 entrees, and 2-3 desserts. Never went for the Trifecta of 3-3-3, but often wound up mowing through 8 total plates. And out of all of those plates, they all were delicious, except for the turkey. Just bad. Not dry, just without flavor. Yuk.

Annnnnd... here's the photo dump.

This is the whole group outside the house. Why we took the shot across the street and not in front of the house, I'm not sure. I'm guessing sun position, but there are still quite a lot of shadows.
If you thought I was kidding about finding the shade on the beach, you're dead wrong. There are about 60 beach loungers in front of me, most of which were empty. Me? I'm taking the wooden stool on the covered deck. And, as my sister pointed out, that sign was temporarily incorrect. If I'm there, there is a lifeguard on duty.
Just chilling at the Indialantic Beach boardwalk. I'm using boardwalk loosely, because the entire thing could be carried by a seven iron. And still, it's was the closest thing to a boardwalk outside of Cocoa Beach.
Best Billboard ever. I say, they shrink it down to business card size and hand them out at YSA activities. I realize we preach abstinence, but just in case, they should know to Protect Ya Tings.
Sometimes you really want to go swimming. And you're wearing a suit. And you don't see those two as being mutually exclusive. Side note: chlorine will change your suit forever. Not in a radiation-cloud-turned-johnny-storm-into-the-human-torch kind of way either.

Yes, that is the whole group throwing handstands. I'm just right of center. Still on the way up, hence I haven't locked my knees. However, my toes are still pointed. Thanks high school diving.

Get Your Towels Ready, It's About To Go Down

Sorry about the layoff since the last entry. Things got busy. Deal with it.

I don't really have a lot right now to talk about. I mean, work is going well (just got my first commission check and it made me question my testimony on tithing), baseball season is in full swing (let's not talk about the horrible start my White Sox have made), and my TV shows are all closing out their seasons. There's really only two things worth bringing up.

The first is that this is my first post on my Mac laptop. My previous laptop was getting too finicky. When you have to restart every time you try to access a document, your computer has serious issues. I figured I would have to spend something like $150-200 to take it into Best Buy and have them tell me that 1) it's old, 2) it's running Windows Vista, 3) they would have to completely re-install the OS just to fix it. So, I decided to look around and see if I could get a used Mac laptop for a comparable amount.

About a year after I bought my previous laptop I decided that there was no way I was ever going to buy another PC again. It's not that I don't like them. I actually have no problem with them. It's just that I feel the Mac product is better all the way around, save the price. I knew I couldn't afford a new one as they start at $1000, but I figured if I was willing to take a model that was a couple year old, I should find something in my budget. Spent a couple weeks, and after a couple failed attempts, landed one on ebay for just under $250 with an extra battery and a fancy carrying bag. Well, the bag came with it. I wouldn't have paid extra for it, but since they were sending it that way anyway, I'll guess I find a use for it. I do really like it. I like that it works the way it is supposed to work. I like how the OS is just as simple as I remembered it being. And, I like the aesthetics of a titanium cased laptop. For those interested, it's a PowerBook G4. I read the specs, and knew that it can't get snow leopard because of it's Intel processor, but the way it is now is more than good enough for me.

The other thing is that a week from now, I'll be back in Florida and getting ready to board a cruise to the Bahamas. Pretty stoked about it. 5 day, 4 nights, leaving out of Port Canaveral, which is about 20 minutes away from my parents' house. There's a dozen of us going. We all fly in Saturday and stay at my parents' house until Monday afternoon. When we were setting this up, Mike asked me if it would be Ok to have that many people stay at the house. I said it should be fine, but I asked my mom anyway. She said "Only 12?". I told Mike I wasn't going to get worried about space until we hit 20 people. Then I might worry. Sure, some people will have to sleep on a couch, but the vast majority will be in a bed. Most will be sharing a bed, as they are all Queen sized or larger. I, however, will not be sharing my bed. Sorry guys, I draw the line with my hospitality at sharing my bed with another guy. If we hit 20, I might think about it. But if everyone is positioned, and we still have couches available, I'm sleeping solo, thank you very much.

The cruise should be a lot of fun. We're planning on a lot of snorkeling, a lot of beach sitting, and a lot of eating. Maybe some other stuff, but that's all I'm sure of. However, afterward, I'm going to start watching what I eat a titch. Got on the scale the other day. Last January, 2010, I came back from med school and weighed in at 150. Granted, that was a bit low, given that I hadn't figured out what to eat in that foreign land, and hadn't settled into a study-eat-sleep schedule, but nevertheless, I was at 150 pounds. Jumped on the scale the other day: 180. Not even kidding. Most I've ever weighed. I realized this isn't anywhere near a problem. But, I figure if I don't take it off now, I might not ever. So after the cruise, the goal is to get back down to 160 by the end of 2011. It'll be about 8 months, so 2.5 pounds month.

Here's where I turn to the handful of people that read this. Is this a reasonable goal? I've never cared about my weight, so I've never set a goal to gain or lose it. The only time I've seen people do it is on "The Biggest Loser". I've seen people throw off nearly 20 lbs in a week. Sure, they originally tipped the scales at 450+, so I understand that for me to lose 20 in a week could only be explained by amputation. But is 2.5 lbs a month for 8 months reasonable? I feel that it is, but I'm not sure.

Don't ask me how I'm going to do it, because I'm not sure. I figure I'll start with going to the gym more often than once a month. (Side note: went 8 times in the past two weeks. Impressed myself with that run.) Then, once that plateaus, I'll have to examine what and how much I eat. Right now, I have this problem where every night, I become starved at like 9:30. Like, painfully hungry. Was on a date with a girl and we were driving back around 10 pm, and I was absolutely starving, but we had just eating dinner at like 7. I asked if she was hungry, and she said no, so I figured I would just bide my time until I could eat some food. Drove the rest of the way to her place trying not to wince as I passed by Krispy Kreme, McDonalds, Wendy's, and even the gas station, which I knew had delicious peach rings inside. After I took her home, I went straight back to McDonalds, had a spicy chicken sandwich and double stack from the drive through, and ate them both before I pulled into the driveway.

Every night, I feel like this, and if I don't eat then, I get painfully hungry around 10 am the next morning. The other day I tried riding through the night, and then eating a breakfast to see if that did the trick. Not really. Just pushed back the morning jonesing until 11 am. Longest hour of my life between that and when I take my lunch at noon. I have no explanation for any of this, I just know that it's true, and that I don't particularly like it.

And, man, are my White Sox looking grim these days. Just when I thought it was safe to pull my Gordon Beckham jersey out of the back of the closet...

Word.