Tell Them Anything You Want To, Just Don't Tell Them All The Truth

Call me insensitive, but when one of my friends takes a tumble, I laugh a little while helping them up. It should be noted I help them up, but it is always noted that I laugh a little. Now, if you're lucky enough to ever see me stumble around, then you know that I will actually laugh about the situation before I hit the ground.

Now that you understand that I laugh at pretty much anything that goes unexpected, you must realize how absolutely fantastic I thought the stake speed dating activity was this past Valentine's Day. I mean, I don't think it could have gone any better. At least for me it went great. I didn't make any sort of romantic connections, and didn't once think about asking for the other person's number. Maybe my heart is a little frozen, but after three minutes of light conversation, I don't feel in a position to ask for a phone number. Truth be told, I make it a point to wait as long as possible before asking for a girl's phone number. For instance, I knew Raechel for almost a year, stopped by her place dozens of times, and hung out with her about the same amount. Didn't take down her phone number until a bunch of us went down to Cali for Jake's wedding. I don't know why I do this, I just do.

That's not the point though. The point is that during the 'speed dates', I knew from word one that I would not be asking for the girl's phone number. Not that I didn't sit across from some interesting or attractive girls, but more that I've learned that any relationship intended to last beyond the first date, typically has more lead-up time to that first date than three minutes.

After the hour or so of musical chairs, I found out from some of the girls that some of the guys were not of this mindset. Some guys were at least honest enough to ask for them. But one guy pulled the what-type-of-phone-do-you-have?-Can-I-see-it-for-a-sec? maneuver. It's bush league all the way, but the gambit is designed to let the girl hand you her phone for seemingly harmless reasons, and then you call yourself from her phone. Thus getting her number, and giving yours in one simple, sneaky movement. Again, bush league. Amateur hour stuff. Never done it myself, never plan to.

The best part of this, was that this move was completely new to the victim. Bless her heart, but she was stunned first and foremost that this was an actual ploy. Then she was aghast that it actually happened to her. Me? I laughed. I still laugh. And I'll laugh when he calls this week asking for a date.

You've seen the laughing, now for the helping. After telling the girl about this dirty trick, I told her that if she needed an excuse to get out of his date invite, I would co-sign and take her out. There's your help. I'm not evil, I just really like to laugh and find things funny. Life's too serious without it.

Would I ever plan a speed dating activity after witnessing that event? Almost certainly not. Would I attend one if I knew that my female friends were going? Almost certainly yes. They always end up with the funniest stories. You can chalk that up because guys are generally more willing to push the envelope just to see if something will happen. And more often than not, that something that does happen, is a hilarious story for me. I'll help the girl hide from the idiot, dance with her if I see the fool approaching, and even agree to a pre-determined story to help her out of a dreadful night with the dope. But don't be surprised if I'm smiling or chuckling while I do it.

Word.