Thursday, December 10, 2009

There Were Days When The Sun Was So Cruel That All The Tears Turned To Dust

I have a few personal axioms which have treated me very well. For example, early on I realized that cheese and/or bacon is always a good idea. No, think about it. Just about food served hot can be improved upon by adding cheese and/or bacon. I've done the testing for this. It's science. In fact the only way to make bacon better is to wrap it in another strip of bacon. And the only improvement of that is to melt cheese on top, and wrap another slice of bacon around it in the third direction. I call it Ambrosia, because it is food fit for deity.

Another one has been if it isn't announced or referenced on Sportscenter, I generally don't need to know about it. Sportscenter tells me who the newly elected president is. They let me know that the economy is having difficult times (unless you're Randy Wolf, the newest incarnation of Gil Meche. Definitely raising my sons to be lefties. There is no downside to this. None.). This is why I don't watch a lot, if any, news shows. I just don't need to. I get all my news spliced in between LeBron dunks and Pujols blasts.

However, I'm abandoning one. It has served me well, but it has been proven inaccurate. I never thought I would say this, but I kind of miss the cold. Now, don't misunderstand. I don't miss slipping on ice. I don't miss having my fingers and toes numb. I don't miss having the gum I leave in the car become 17 foil-wrapped pieces of blue slate. And I certainly don't miss watching my car spin out, glancing another car, a month and a half after I bought it.

I do miss the cold though. Mostly, I miss how it silently marked the passing of time. When the first snow came, I knew that Thanksgiving was coming and then the semester would soon be over. It also told me that I should really think about studying. It also was a subtle reminder that Christmas was around the corner and I should start thinking about gifts for the family.

Growing up in Florida, cold meant putting on a sweater. It meant I couldn't wear shorts anymore, and that maybe I should put on one of my two long-sleeve shirts. But at least it was a change. It broke up the 8 months of heat and reminded us that global warming hasn't taken full effect yet.

On this rock, it's mid-December, and still 80+ outside. It's very unsettling. My calendar tells me Christmas is two weeks out, but the sweat on my brow makes me think it's six months away. It's absurd, and I can't take it anymore. This four month hitch has swayed me more in favor of living in a colder climate than any other experience I've ever had.

So, this New Year's, like last New Year's, I'm trekking back up to Utah for the festivities. This is
starting to become an annual tradition that I'm perfectly fine with. I'll have to dig my coat out of storage and remember to pack a beanie, but I'm going North and I'm going freezing.

And I'll try my best not to slip.

Word.

2 comments:

McKay said...

I miss the cold too...I mean the real cold not like the fake stuff we get in Texas. I guess I mostly miss snow and the great stuff you can do in it.

While I'm at it, I miss snowball fights from freshman year where we stayed up to like 3 in the morning after kicking the DT boys trash and then seeing Trent cut himself on a glass window he just busted.

a. dancepants said...

thank you, Celine Dion. and that took me a moment.